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Brian Maryon

Updated: 3 days ago

Contact via WOL

Biography

Woof. My poems are observational generally, with a liberal amount of poetic licence where required. They rhyme, mostly. My influences are Sir John Betjeman, Pam Ayres, Clive James, Spike Milligan, John Cooper Clarke, Roger McGough, Alexei Sayle, Benny Hill, Jake Thackray, John Lennon, Paul McCartney, Victoria Wood I've never entered any competitions yet I'm still surprised I've never won anything. I did receive some kind words from a teacher in primary school, but I think she probably knew I'd semi-plagiarised the poem.

Samples

Here are a few poems about my friend Ronnie, a true character... RONNIE'S BIKE RIDE Rottweilers cowered in corners Grown men quivered in fright Mothers protected their children when Ronnie went out on his bike Motorists swerved to avoid him or drove on the opposite side Buses remained in their depot when Ronnie was out on his bike People out feeding the pigeons ended up covered in shite as they took to the air in a panic when Ronnie flew past on his bike But folk were glad to have been there and may never again see the like They'll re-tell the tale to their grandkids of the time they nearly got totalled by Ronnie, out riding his bike CHANGING YOUR INTERNET SERVICE PROVIDER You're under duress with high levels of stress when you change your ISP And when you're off-line you're just killing time by watching daytime TV Though in Ronnie's case he's loving The Chase so it's not quite as bad as it seems RONNIE'S BIG FINISH Ronnie took his cue and strode up to the baize His hackles were raised and in less than a couple of minutes he produced a four shot finish He was supremely adept whilst Terry just stood there and wept RONNIE PEAKED TOO SOON We started to play at twelve but by one in the afternoon it quickly became apparent that Ronnie had peaked too soon He built up a four frame lead and bragged about what he'd got but perhaps he should have said nothing as his game quickly went to pot He broke out in a cold sweat Things were not going according to plan He began to search for reasons why he was fast going down the pan But the only excuse he came up with was that Martin was talking too much This was true but didn't fully explain why Ronnie was losing his touch Ronnie didn't win another frame and later at home in his bed he cried himself to sleep and thought I'll try tiddlywinks instead RONNIE'S PANTS (and so is his bowling) We got more than we'd bargained for at bowls today... When we saw Ronnie's big stripey pants we couldn't believe our eyes as they seemed to start at his chest and end just below his thighs It was quite a stark revelation and we couldn't suppress our laughter when after he'd tucked them back in there was still just as much showing after The players on rink number one didn't think it was all that funny as it caused them to bowl their woods offline and straight down the gulley I think Ronnie's learnt his lesson and I hope we can take it as read that next time to save all our blushes he'll wear Jockey Y-Fronts instead

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

Audio entries by Brian Maryon

We Don't Move Very Much (08/12/2018)

A Minor Roasting (24/11/2018)

Banjaxed (17/11/2018)

Waiting to Leave Home (10/11/2018)

Westonbirt Arboretum (01/11/2018)

Going On A Demo (27/10/2018)

Uncle Seamus (22/10/2018)

Unhappy Hunting Ground (18/10/2018)

SOAP : Corrie (15/09/2018)

Chicken Bhuna (25/08/2018)

More audio from Brian Maryon…

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Comments

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Ian Whiteley

Thu 11th Apr 2019 14:28

thanks for commenting on 'heatwave' Brian - yes - you got it perfectly - the tipping point between childhood and adulthood - forever warped by Thatcher and the uncaring Tory government. It shaped many of us - luckily I got through 😉
Ian

d.knape

Fri 1st Mar 2019 09:25

Normally
most poets are NOT normal.
Eccentric but not normal.
the only way to right themselves
is to Write Out Loud.

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Stephen Mellor

Tue 19th Feb 2019 12:11

Hi Brian
Like and comment much appreciated.
I hadn't truly realised what I was doing until it was carefully pointed out.
Today, I shall attempt to stay calm

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Nigel Astell

Thu 14th Feb 2019 15:37

Thanks for your comment Brian on my unusual chess match

poemagraphic

Mon 11th Feb 2019 17:06

Your samples are the best of your work I have seen so far. I somehow missed them.

Have you just added them?

Po

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Dave Caplan

Thu 17th Jan 2019 22:28

Hey Brian, that was great.
In particular the verse on WESTONBIRT ARBORETUM.
I could really visualize those middle-class wankers with their fancy-named spoilt kids.

Keep it coming !

Dave

d.knape

Mon 14th Jan 2019 11:53

I take credit for the poem...
i also take the blame!

wink.

poemagraphic

Sat 12th Jan 2019 21:52

WESTONBIRT ARBORETUM

This is bloody masterful mate.

I wish I wrote it.

I am trying to catch up

Po

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Stephen Mellor

Wed 9th Jan 2019 11:12

Hi Brian
Merci
The Joys of Doing a Jigsaw
You'll notice that this poem doesn't rhyme.
The jigsaw nearly drove me crackers. Xmas pun intended.

d.knape

Tue 1st Jan 2019 03:55


The girl next door
what can I say
when she saw me
she moved away!

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Stephen Mellor

Sat 22nd Dec 2018 20:30

Hi Brian
I'm truly flattered if/when anyone takes the time to comment on something I've written.
So thanks.
I'm a big believer that if I write a poem that rhymes, it should also have a rhythm. I also find that it makes it more suitable for reciting.
Again, thanks for your interest

d.knape

Mon 17th Dec 2018 18:21

With Christmas just around the corner,
your name should be "MerryOn" !!

wink.

d.knape

Mon 17th Dec 2018 18:14

I prefer the Dark Ages.
Things were slower then,
including the mail. 😃

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M.C. Newberry

Sun 2nd Dec 2018 01:00

Hello Brian - I commented on your "First" blog yesterday
(Saturday) afternoon but now it seems my wit has not been
appreciated on WOL and is nowhere to be seen.
Humour is not always a laughing matter, it seems.

poemagraphic

Fri 23rd Nov 2018 14:52

People seem full of life
But they're dead behind the eyes...

You my friend have eye for detail and a voice for much much more.

Po

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Ian Whiteley

Thu 15th Nov 2018 13:54

thanks for the comments on 'a poppy in winter' Brian - I do think the amount of poppy colours is getting a little silly - but the red is for remembrance and the white is for peace and the rest is for personal choice - the very thing that was fought for - so I'm OK with it - better to remember something than nothing at all
Ian

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Ian Whiteley

Tue 6th Nov 2018 15:18

thanks for the comment on 'that which autumn leaves' Brian - an oldie but goldie adapted from a short story I wrote years ago
Ian

d.knape

Thu 1st Nov 2018 23:00

are you allowed a cell phone
in Jail?
How's the reception?
(all those metal bars.)

wink.

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Taylor Crowshaw

Thu 1st Nov 2018 17:05

Thank you for reading This Lonely Journey Brian..xx

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Ian Whiteley

Wed 31st Oct 2018 10:56

thanks for your comments on 'a sting in the tail' Brian - yes it's got a buzz honey :-)

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Taylor Crowshaw

Tue 30th Oct 2018 15:48

Thanks for the comment Brian...xx

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Taylor Crowshaw

Sat 27th Oct 2018 17:38

Hi Brian thank you for commenting on I Protest you are hilarious..have a nice evening with her indoors...😂

d.knape

Fri 26th Oct 2018 13:59


when you board a plane
do you have Maryon luggage?


wink.

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Ian Whiteley

Tue 23rd Oct 2018 16:36

Thanks for your insightful comments on 'Blood Brothers in Arms' Brian - I'm pleased you liked it
Ian

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Taylor Crowshaw

Sun 21st Oct 2018 15:40

Thank you for reading 'How' Brian I hope you are keeping your daughters dog well walked...💕

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Taylor Crowshaw

Sat 20th Oct 2018 16:06

Hi Brian, Thank you for reading my Saturday contribution... Always appreciated..have a nice evening. Taylor 😊

<Deleted User> (17045)

Thu 11th Oct 2018 10:34

Hi Brian.

Haven't been on here for a while now, (Natures put a block on my creativity) so I missed your much appreciated recent comment. Apologies for this belated reply.


Ken.

<Deleted User> (19836)

Sun 7th Oct 2018 19:02

Thank you so much Brian for commenting on my POTW and for your continued support. I really do appreciate it!😊

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Mae Foreman

Thu 27th Sep 2018 13:50

Thanks Brian for liking my piece "I can tolerate Death". I like your work too! Writing about the things you love and doing it your way, without being pompous and pretentious makes you pretty unique! Kudos!

Mae

d.knape

Fri 21st Sep 2018 02:25

I did not think tennis boys went shopping.
nor poets.

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