Geez I rarely know what to write in these things. So I'll first give you the facts. I'm Ashley, 24 from Oldham. By day I'm a "journalist" of sorts, but it's not very exiciting. By night/ weekends (when I can be bothered which isn't nearly as much as it should be) I also write poetry and do random written-based blatherings, which is why I'm here and am gradually going to start performing at open mic nights and such. In addition I sort of have an internet-based alter-ego but more of that later (maybe). Other interests outside writing/reading include procrastination (its taken me more than a week to even write this), self-depcrication, supporting Newcastle United (though why I bother is another matter), volunteering, music (almost anything from Girls Aloud and Led Zeppelin to Jay-Z and the Clash) and being ignored by the opposite sex. After reading through that I better add brackets to that list. Hopefully I'll publish a book of my various writings one day in the ilk of Henry Rollins' Black Coffee Blues which'll be called Black Thoughts White Riots. Steal that name and me and my boys'll come around and rough you up. No jokes. Data entry complete.
I'm filling in the gap With this meaningless crap A short little verse But I've written far worse. Bloody Saturday Night Shag (unedited version) Oh girl I see you shaking your hips But all this time I really want to feel your tits I've already slammed down seven tequilas And now I'm feeling CHARGED So much so I've followed you and your poncey mates ever since you came into this sticky-floored bar 'Cos I'm out on the lash I'm after some gash And for that I'm going to act all flash By showing off my cash I impress you with the way my muscles flex All I'm after is sex And you want it too Otherwise you wouldn't be in those pointy shoes Fuck off pal, I won't back off I don't care if you're the bouncer, I'm here to trap off Oi love, shift your lard arse out of the way All I want to do is to get your mate to have a play With my dick Don't call me a prick She'll have my cock Whether she likes it or not Why you pushing me away pet? I'll give you a time you won't forget Then I feel a hand on my face My heart picks up the pace I lean into your face Start reaching for that lace My eyes close I feel a hand... But I'm being dragged back The world turns black I awaken in a wide empty space Four doormen standing over my bruised face The only thing I'm kissing is concrete All because I'm a rowdy lad Looking for a bloody Saturday night shag.
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