Poetry Blog by Youngdumbpoet

i feel alone

in a world where i am surrounded 

i am claustrophobic 

suffocated

by those around me

yet i am alone

another person is shoved down my throat

my numbers build up

i smile and wave 

make mistakes

be told it’s ok

but i am alone

i am hugged and reminded that i am loved

something that i know

others wish for

i receive greetings 

seems ...

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Two days ago the rain was hard

It wrecked my front yard

Yet no one else gave it regard

Now the rains gone

You’d think then I’d wake up to the sun at dawn

But instead it was nothing all I can do is yawn

Because the sky is empty

What was once plenty

The rainy days I envy

Because when it rained

I may have been pained

But at least I wasn’t drained

Whe...

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Take me to the doctors

Ill take pills

Ill take them all

Just take me to the doctors and make it go away

I will have 50 diagnosis’

Take the pills 

Till I get psychosis

Just take me to the doctors

Make it go away

Ill write letters every day

talk about my feeling

throw my life away

Just take me to the doctors make it go away

Ill stop eating if I h...

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i wanna write you poems

make every word about you

turn every letter into a love song

written about 2 

but the words don’t come out anymore

the ink in my pens dried

and when i go to write a word

i feel the drowsiness in my eyes

and it’s not that i don’t want to

it’s not that i don’t care

but the energy is scarce

compared to u i show nothing

i wish i could show mo...

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you said my smile is pretty

i’ve never smiled a lot

i always feel uncomfortable 

but you made me... not 

u asked to lay on my lap the other day

i know your just affectionate

but this feeling it won’t go away

just seeing you will always make my day

you are never rude

never mean

always polite

share some common interest

to my delight

but your goin...

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it’s an empty feeling

i have no feeling

but to have no feeling you must feel not having feeling

so we are constantly feeling

and this numb emptiness 

is the absence of emotion

is the only emotion

that can be felt by me

it feels like i’m chocking

that feeling before you cry

is this the feeling before i die

i hope this means i’m about to die

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i was never good at maths 

but these numbers stick to me 

and i cant shake them off

usually addition takes forever

but now i can tell you in a minute

what an apple + a carrot equates

and every number is running through my head

wish i could run as fast as them

because maybe then

i would still be bad at maths

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Every laugh 

every joke 

every compliment meant to sound mean

builds up

and i know the joke

i wrote the joke

every day i play the joke

but when its the one thing that makes me me

the one thing that lets me free

something that i have given you the privilege to see 

that is not a joke

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Fear

Engulfs me like a fire

Spreads across any inch of skin that dares lie on my body

Its smoke reaches my lunges

Choking me

I fear I can not go on

I can no longer tell if this fire is true

Is it a metaphor I made or is it my current state

I fear I will never know

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She walks upon the cold earth

'Unfair!' I must shout 'Unjust!'

For a beauty of such warmth

I watch slowly freeze over

But when she is sorrounded

by candle flicker and fire

the ice melts

her warmth is shown again

And how I wish to be a fire

even just a spark

the reason that saves her

from the earth cold and dark

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This is a poem for a girl who doesnt know I'm in love

Her smile shines like the sun

Across her face freckles run

Her hair sits neatly just below her shoulders

Wish I would've told her 

But now shes kissing her

And dating her

And saying it doesnt matter

And i'm gonna keep wishing i'm for her

But first loves are supposed to break your heart

 So I'm gonna lie just to sav...

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I first met him in my tears

he was disguised as late nights and hormones

he said he'd never return 

he was not for me 

but even with this promise i lay in fear

but the next day he returned 

the sunlight refused to let him diguise himself as he did the previous night

he snuck up on me 

whispered everything i feared 

told me he could end it all

and then he slowly took o...

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I first met him in my tears

he was disguised as late nights and hormones

he said he'd never return 

he was not for me 

but even with this promise i lay in fear

but the next day he returned 

the sunlight refused to let him diguise himself as he did the previous night

he snuck up on me 

whispered everything i feared 

told me he could end it all

and then he slowly took o...

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*this is a little bit happier than usual i guess idk when i wrote this i was just vibing i guess*

maybe not everything is so bad

yeah im still sad

but I cant be mad

Because the sun is on my skin

Im writing poetry

And drinking tea

So right now i think i win

And while tonight i may cry

currently im not asking myself why

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*I AM NOT IN ANY WAY SUPPORTING THE IDEA OF SATAN I AM SIMPLY QUESTIONING BELIEFS IVE BEEN RAISED WITH*

*TW: MENTIONS OF SUICIDE*

If God is real he is the enemy

Destroyer of many

Why is satan always seen badly

For questioning authority

for now he just does his job, doesn't he?

And why do we blame him?

When God gave him, the power

That lets him tower

And satan did one ...

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I want to know haw you see me

Do you see my stomach at first is that how you see me

or is the little bit of fat on my chin is that how you see me

Is it my thighs is that what you first see of me

my chubby face is that what is seen of me

is it every crease that i spend hours of my day staring at, is that the part you see

in my eyes thats all i can see of me 

and i need to know ...

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Sometimes i cant take it

I want to break it

What is it 

Well i bet most of you would know it

You always want to throw it

I havent found a name for it

But let me explain it

Its that feeling of being numb

Its that feeling when you want to run

When death seems so close

When death seems so far

When life is not as fun

When you feel worthless

Then suddenly powerful

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