All the bad things and the bad people, I am not thankful for, but admire the strength they made me make in myself, when they took it away.

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Poverty was like a parent to me.

Both harsh and kind.

Warm and cold.

They were wise and blind, in a way.

Their eyes looked mostly ahead in hope or hopelessness.

It went back and forth like a pendulum.

When I thought I suffered they held my head tight and forced me to look

Look at the people on the streets

Forced me to

Listen to the inescapable wails of misfortune

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Died in a song

long ago

got pushed into the ocean

died in a song

sung while rope

kept me to an anchor

died in a song

I remember

nothing much before I slumbered

died in a song

all I knew 

when I woke I felt much better

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The right type of music

like the right type of doctor

inside you, cutting you open

breaking you apart and

reassembling your thoughts like a puzzle.

Not another world, just another space

seclude yourself from the rest

stare at what you are in that mirror

if you break it, it doesn't matter

stare at all the disappointed faces staring back

feel their fear, and understand

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the sound of nails on skin

the ripping of those barriers

between whats in you and whats out

the sound of beats on your head

the swelling of self-hatred and humility

forced on yourself by yourself\

cry at the sight and more at the sound

be flushed with the shame\

knowing you're not good enough

look up at the sky at night

run by yourself in the dark

the outside is so...

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She hugs him 

"You scare me" 

What? 

I’m afraid all your candy words will just melt away someday 

She looks up at him 

I’m afraid that the dragon I made to protect me in my castle all alone 

Will be slayed by you 

You in your shining armor 

My knight in shining armor 

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I compare things to myself/my situation to make sense of it 

To better understand the various perspectives of it through metaphors and similes 

One of the things that’s hard to understand is my relationship and what kept it together 

It took me awhile to realize that there is no comparison to it, that was the thing, the reason was just that they loved me 

And I shou...

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She cried  

We cried 

We screamed 

For her not to be lonely 

Screamed at the gods to spare her 

We would give ourselves but we weren’t good enough 

How to be good enough 

So that she could be spared 

Dear God, let her be spared

Down from the face of our hope, tears fell to sizzle upon surfaces of burning wood. Pained wails, felt by the people who reached out to take...

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When You’re not looking 

I want to die 

The things of my past just hurt me 

Do you know that I cry 

Oh you don’t have a clue 

I feel so low and vulnerable 

That’s what I hate the most 

My heart can’t take this manifestation 

Before it gets you too, go 

If my hands aren’t cold it doesn’t feel right 

When my hands are warm it doesn’t feel right 

So let em g...

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Can you really blame me 

When the stars don’t shine 

Can you really blame me 

For saying goodbye 

Last I heard of 

You never really smiled 

So why blame me 

For the unhappiness that followed 

Why why why 

You keep on asking me 

Hush hush hush 

There’s no answer you see 

Don’t assume that I left you 

Because you’re just a burden 

Though it ma...

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Do you know what I love about you? 

It's the warmth you give when you hold me 

Even when I'm feeling blue 

Just the thought of you reminds me 

Of when we first met 

When you first touched my skin 

How it made me forget  

All the troubles within 

My mind 

Oh, of the mind…. 

During my darkest times 

You led me out like a lantern of light 

And when I was...

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Speak to me 

Love me 

Hold me 

Forever 

Close

Cuz at night  

When I dream  

That's you're sleeping next to me 

It s the best feeling I could feel 

Until I wake up and see 

You're not there 

No ones here 

It's  

Not  

Real 

And then the tears 

Of course they fall 

Cuz my heart  

Aches more than  

Everything inside of me 

Oh I wish you...

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Symphonies of sorrow 

Sapphires in the oceans abyss 

Why do I find it so, 

Sorrow as a lovely tune 

Deep keys accompanied by chimes  

Echoing fog dancing about 

The ballet of sin and crime  

And innocent eyes looking on 

The dark’s embrace  

A monster of a mother 

We weep as we accept  

How our joy was slaughtered 

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Don’t forget the feeling 

That you feel in those dreams 

Be it fear or love 

Don’t forget how you felt 

Let yourself be carried  

In your sleep  

When you are vulnerable 

Let yourself float above 

The sadness that runs through you 

Don’t forget that feeling 

Don’t let yourself forget 

And go through the same pain again 

It hurts a lot I know 

T...

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Please tell me if 

Please tell me now 

Have I suffered enough 

Have I fallen to the ground 

It feels like I’m falling still 

I’ve cried for help haven’t I 

Was I not that loud 

Do I even deserve the help 

Guess I’ll just shut my mouth 

I’m not okay 

Please just tell me I’m not 

Tell me 

It won’t be fine 

Admit that 

That’s alright 

I don’...

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Hypocrisy 

Animals untamed 

Raging 

Masters too lenient 

No discipline 

All in bursts 

Of anger 

Not for lessons 

But for dominance 

To be asserted 

Wisdom onto deaf ears 

Desensitized to morbidness 

Anything could be entertainment 

Pain  

Onto thick skin  

Stress  

On the lazy 

Words 

Left unspoken 

For who will listen 

Anger  

Justif...

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Loves just a feeling 

It often changes 

It may go quick and crash 

Or keep you waiting 

It's a good high 

But the fall is pretty harsh 

I wouldn't want to get hurt 

I'm not too fond of goodbyes 

People say I haven't tried it 

And thus should with them 

For that I spew excuses 

And yet they still go at it 

I don't believe anything could ever last 

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City lights within reach 

So close to the ground 

Stars too far above 

There're too much clouds 

City lights within reach 

This is how we reach for the stars 

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All around me the fog dances 

I look on to see as it tests its chances 

Waiting for me to open the gate 

It waits 

I stare at it as it does the same 

I take a step closer it watches 

I take another 

It's eyes slightly bigger 

I stop 

I open my mouth to speak 

Nothing comes out 

The fog whispers do not 

I stay where I stand  

Not daring a step 

It's fingers...

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You're so annoying 

And so distasteful 

You won't stop talking 

I hate you very much 

When the rain has finally come 

You'll sparkle like the sun 

And when I'm working 

You'll go…right ahead and call me 

You drive me crazy 

I think I've gone insane 

I just want to be lazy 

But you'll drag me out to play 

People say I ain't perfect 

But you'll ...

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Yknow its been awhile 

Since ive dreamt a good dream 

Most are just filled with running 

Abuse drowned out by screams 

And ok maybe this was not too different 

Here, I ran from screams too 

But the most significant 

Was that I didn't bother to leave you 

It's been awhile, yknow 

Since I've typed out my feelings 

I don’t know why I stopped 

It must be the ...

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Black and blue 

A bruise's hue 

And the colors of many others 

Look up at the sky 

On a stormy day 

As the clouds cry 

Blue and gray 

Your silhouette black  

Against the flash of the Lightning above 

It's courage you lack 

And your hopes fly away with the dove 

It's not the lion, I'm afraid, that carries the pride 

But the Lightning that paralyzed you as it bide...

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