Poetry Blog by Sophie Hall
Dave Carr on This is a poem about trying to explain to a hairdresser what a Performance Poet is. (Wed, 27 Jul 2011 08:16 pm)
Laura Taylor on This is a poem about trying to explain to a hairdresser what a Performance Poet is. (Tue, 26 Jul 2011 10:15 am)
Ann Foxglove on This is a poem about trying to explain to a hairdresser what a Performance Poet is. (Mon, 25 Jul 2011 10:17 am)
Patricia and Stefan Wilde on This is a poem about trying to explain to a hairdresser what a Performance Poet is. (Sun, 24 Jul 2011 10:52 pm)
on This is a poem about trying to explain to a hairdresser what a Performance Poet is. (Sun, 24 Jul 2011 10:22 pm)
Isobel on This is a poem about trying to explain to a hairdresser what a Performance Poet is. (Sun, 24 Jul 2011 09:31 pm)
Dave Bradley on This is a poem about trying to explain to a hairdresser what a Performance Poet is. (Sun, 24 Jul 2011 08:55 pm)
Bits of amazingness from you are falling
Into gaps of a divorcee’s laminate flooring
Residue from the great stud that is you
Are being severed to the tones of La Roux
Yeah, some bitch is standing there mowing
The hair you spent all your free time growing
As you patiently sit, no complaints to be heard
Generosity - just isn’t the word.
The great debates you have, as follicles spl...
Sunday 24th July 2011 6:17 pm
So! The news this morning, eh?
Doubt we’ll all forget this day
Quite the bombshell to wake up to
Quite the simultaneous ‘Oooh!’
The day the world announced as one -
”That justice has now been done.”
That greatly universal ‘Pardon?’
When we all heard about – hang on.
Wait – what was I about to say?
That thing – that’s on the news today?
You know – that – thing. That’s on the news
Monday 2nd May 2011 1:08 pm
I always wonder why you call -
“I LOVE YOU” out in concert halls
Sure, it’s the truth, there is no doubt.
A lust you try and sidle out Into this brimming concert hall
Of people you don’t know at all
And yet you cannot hold the words
I LOVE YOU echoes through the herds And your true love stands up on stage
And listens as your feelings wage
From vague enjoyment of th...
Sunday 3rd April 2011 4:34 pm
This poem is written in dedication to this beautifully stupid article here: Fashion’s Ultimate Insult to Women, by Amanda Platell
Ladies! Remember how we’re all repressed?
And we cower in the mirror as we get undressed?
And we heave regret on our neglectful mothers
When we see one boob is bigger than the other? And when they didn’t stock YOUR size at New Look -
Didn’t it feel like Joa...
Friday 25th February 2011 5:05 pm
Shall I compare Andy Scott-Lee to Darren Day?
Thou art more stubbly; and more delicate.
Rough hair doth shake the singers of Hear*Say
But Andy at least, is not bankrupt
Sometimes, Michelle Heaton doth pine
And often is her gold complexion dimm’d
Every premiere from premiere never declined
By chance Heat snaps her armpits trimm’d
But Andy shall never be Darren Day!
Nor charged for possession of ...
Thursday 17th February 2011 2:11 pm
MY DARLING! I love you!
Erm. I love you too.
It helps to say the words through teeth
If you feel queasy underneath
Apparently, by clenching molars
This method can help control the
I’m dumping on the universe.
But this is love not dentistry.
But I still need to dent the glee.
It's hard to say 'I love you too!'
I even hate the band U2
Friday 4th February 2011 7:28 am
I feel weird today. And it’s pissing me off.
And sure - I could blame beef stroganoff
But this felt like I hadn't eaten at all.
Wouldn’t stop - despite paracetamol.
And I - didn’t feel - that I could adopt the
Bravery needed for seeing a doctor
And Google basically forecast my death
On the offchance that there was any hope left
And I must admit, it did take a while
Friday 4th February 2011 6:56 am
Dearest Justin Timberlake
Firstly, hello! Thanks for reading
I like that music that you make.
It’s brill that you’re succeeding.
When N Sync split I must’ve died.
But then I heard your solo years
And your first album – Justified
Is the sole reason I have ears.
But now you’re making movies
And Oscars, you may hold -
In your trailer sipping smoothies
Mixed with caviar and g...
Thursday 21st October 2010 12:52 am
Oh, how I want you there.
Little – red – square.
To bounce and announce
Just one, little ounce
Of a detail for me.
Just a crumb for thee -
To lick up tiny titbits
Of vaguely known nitwits.
I just want your salvation
Off some bloke called Jimmy.
Come on now. Gimme.
Little – Red – Square
The space is still bare
Where I wait for home truths
Friday 24th September 2010 8:13 pm
I've been trapped in Limbo
For a while now, for a while now
The lights are pretty dim, low
And it's a bit colder somehow.
I’ve been trapped in Limbo
But it’s okay, but it’s okay
It’s not exactly grim, though –
The sky's a little grey.
And – I live in the North, I know.
So you’d think I’d be alright.
But there’s something about Limbo
There’s something in the light
Friday 24th September 2010 3:12 pm
I buy sparkly jackets to substantiate
The fact I may be interesting to talk to
‘Cause glitter makes for fancy mates
And opportunities to gawk through
I wear leather pants for reasons
Unknown to me, unknown to
Legions of Grease Fan’s nether regions
Yet Newton John pulls through.
I pledge in allegiance to large hats
That I purchase whilst very mashed
From inauspicious looking...
Monday 13th September 2010 4:11 pm
Dedicated to you. It was always you, darlings.
Monday 16th August 2010 8:53 pm
Saturday 31st July 2010 5:00 am
Sometimes - our memories trap us.
Sometimes we try and stop.
Ignore that unremitting buzz
That makes our faces drop
Those shadowed holes that fritter
And stain our coloured thoughts
Distorting them like litter;
Then leave us overwrought.
At least they do to me.
And boy, will I cling
On to every bad memory
And every bad feeling
And inspect it, and dissect it
Sunday 28th March 2010 11:40 pm
And resolute and aspirant
To be even more excellent
And others that are excellent
With mothers that will smother
Them in utter love and other
Because they’re just born to amaze
And that is what I want to be
To a tolerable degree
Tuesday 20th October 2009 8:09 pm
We haven't quite met
Your name is something bland
And I knew that I'd forget it
From when I first shook your hand
From our first meeting
You were simply not a person
But a courtesy smile and greeting
With some very mild conversing
About something in particular
Which I probably ignored
But now you're standing perpendicular
To me across the corridor
And I'm going to have to say hello
And conjure up some snapp...
Sunday 18th October 2009 2:07 pm
You know I hate to say ‘goodnight’
But yet I do with great consistence
The day is gone, I’ve lost the fight
And you’re dissolving in the distance
And so I lie as my eyes close
And drift to twisted reverie
Obligatory picture shows
Of things I do not want to see
So when we say tonight’s goodbye
And our dreams transport us elsewhere
Follow these directions and I
Promise that I’ll meet you there
Catch the las...
Thursday 6th August 2009 7:12 am
Click here to make your own personal account!
Click here to upload a ridiculous amount
Of videos of you doing things of worth!
Or perhaps you’d just perfer to surf
Our extensive repertoire of 10 minute wonders
Our brilliant selection tearing you asunder
Anyone can upload, anyone can cop a l...
Thursday 30th July 2009 3:05 pm
Surely you have seen her.
Causing a scene with her
A scuttling woman in black makes my screen blur
As I curl up in fear with my glass of Ribena
About to embark the wrath of Davina.
I’ve flicked the trigger of this proverbial gun
She’s picking up my fear like a murd...
Thursday 23rd July 2009 7:15 pm
I have a little confession to make.
Nothing I’m proud of, make no mistake.
But now the press has settled down
And the green of summer is now crisp Autumn brown
I’m just going to come out and say it.
And yes, I’m really going to pray it
Doesn’t cause such a tabloid furore,
But it will - obviously - like it happened before.
I stole David Cameron’s bicycle in the summer of July
.God, I’m so embarrassed I thin...
Saturday 4th July 2009 4:59 pm
Sent me mental
Makes me detrimental
To my sensational
Words I write
Beside my frustration
Trying to get it right
I’ve tried to strip it down
Return back to the start
But it’s hard
When my part in the
Art is heartless
I feel like my heart’s
Just an empty carcass
My mind’s like a dart
But I can’t regardless
Of my soul harness
That’s strapping me in
And confining the din
Of my screami...
Wednesday 17th June 2009 4:12 pm
Something is bugging me.
I can feel a process tugging me
Chug - chug - chugging the,
Frustration is lugging me
But what something could that something be?
Is the air around me drugging me
Did someone spike this sugar tea?
Oh damn my eyes, oh bugger me
I can feel it, tapping again
Rapping and clapping and snapping and then
Slapping and trapping and wrapping my head
Up in a mask of tight, vis...
Thursday 28th May 2009 4:42 pm
But not all the time like you do
I know we’re too far from each other
And yet I’m technically your lover
But please don’t call me by ‘sweetheart’
I know we’re miles and miles apart
But don’t woo me with clichéd art
Don’t take me on a horse and cart
My organs aren’t confectionary
Why not look in a dictionary?
Don’t take my hand and smile like that
Don’t stroke my hair, I’m not ...
Monday 25th May 2009 5:06 pm
I’m a little magician with my little box of tricks
I’ve got some coloured tied up scarves, and some juggling sticks
A plastic wand I picked up for just two pounds ninety nine
A jaunty top hat passers by have said looks mighty fine
So I’ve got the look tied down, I’m sure you’ll all agree
I look like a bit of a twat, to put it simply
I can only assume that is good for my career
I guess if it goes down the...
Sunday 24th May 2009 6:48 pm
To me, the day had broken me
Internally impaired, you see
Not physically, more like I had
The reason to feel a bit sad.
Except I didn’t really feel like that at all
Sorry to lie - about my fictitious recall
But for the purpose of narrative consequence
And for this to all make a little more sense
And for me to acquire from you
Synthetic sympathy for feelings untrue
It’s easier than actually bein...
Saturday 23rd May 2009 4:11 am
As human beings, we are blessed.
With such a life defining zest
To make our way around this world
And pick up pieces which we’ve hurled
And as these human beings we,
Are gifted individually
To cascade through life with slight grace
And leap through years at our own pace
Or else, just catch the train.
So catastrophically inane
Of me, as it turned out to be
On my train journey.
On my train journey, my eyes
Sunday 17th May 2009 5:36 pm
How to like pretentious music.
Dear pretentious music lover,
Or to whom it may concern,
I’ve been living undercover
Because I simply have to learn
How to like pretentious music
Or pretend to, like you do
My taste in songs would make you sick
I actually don’t mind U2
I can’t describe just quite how much
I really need your help,
My records need the magic touch
They don’t sing as much as yelp
So I tried to rea...
Monday 4th May 2009 10:09 pm
Good chance biter.
We dance righter
We prance lighter
Our stance tighter
Nights seem brighter
When you write a
Out of sight, a
Novel delight, sir!
But, these writers
Sleep gets lighter
Page grows whiter
Words spit spite, the
Plot’s not right, the
Narrative’s shite, the
Drowned in pl...
Sunday 3rd May 2009 7:18 pm
I am so very, very awake
Sleeping in so late
Was a colossal mistake.
So I ponder to myself
Is everyone else awake?
Is everyone else awake like me?
Of course - the children are sleeping.
So many of them
Are tucked up in bed
Pillows caressing their small, weary heads
As they dream of seamless worlds
That make sense only to them
Circuses accumulating their favourite things
Brought to life, and animated especiall...
Thursday 23rd April 2009 3:50 am
Wanting to be everything
Can be even more tiring
Then doing all the things
I never do
Wishing I could impress you
And knowing that I never do
And painting everything so blue
Is something that I shouldn’t do
Wanting to be smarter
But I feel I’m just a martyr
For a life I’d had to barter
Maybe I’ll just give up now
But wishing I was clever
And as light as a feather
Wednesday 15th April 2009 2:20 pm
Oh you bloody wonder! You miracle worker
You ruddy strike of thunder! You lyrical lurker!
I am indebted to you. You’re the epitome of skill
I have fretted for you, hear my litany if you will
My eyes liquefy, and pour blissfully through
Surprised, every time when I learn something new
You complete me, you teach me, you please me
You’re conceit-free, just peachy, you seize me
Tuesday 24th March 2009 1:47 am
I’m on strike
It’s decided it’s official
I don’t like
And cliché I’ve become!
I’m drinking on street corners
At quarter past one
As everyone scorns us
“You stinking student layabouts!
Your throats and stomachs are bottomless
AA Centres’ the other way, you louts!
You fucking hippopotamus
That wallows in the mud
Happiness isn’t in a bottle
So really ...
Sunday 22nd March 2009 8:33 pm
24 (Keifer Sutherland not included)
I’m awake and I’m lamenting
In my mind I am fermenting
The drinks we had are now aligning
Up against my stomach lining
I’m not sleeping, I’m just dreaming
Of something far more redeeming
Than the fact that I’m just lying down
Absorbing up my abstract noun
Distorted triangles and symbols
Floating delicately and nimb...
Saturday 21st March 2009 8:43 pm
Okay I have arrived, I am Mecca - I am Zulu, I am King, I am Overlord, I am chef of literary cuisine.
Well - not really. Deep down at the ol' Thirsty Scholar (terrific pub lovely atmosphere if you havent been) I - with trembling fingertips approached the microphone tentatively and boy, was I inebriated to the bone. I think it went okay, everyone laughed at the places where laughter was required. H...
Saturday 21st March 2009 4:23 pm