Like small children divorces are messy

Legal fees only add to the frustration

But perhaps the hardest thing of all

Is coping with an ex-partner's indignation

It's not easy but we must be fair to Belinda

She gave me the best years of her life

After all she is the mother of my kids

She was, all in all, a half-decent wife

Of course dear, you are my partner now

Bel...

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There used to be a game called soccer

At the touchline kids could stand

A haze of heroes 'mid a floodlight glare

Made it the best sport in the land

Then moneymen and bookies took over

The spectacle got stained by money

For off-shore agents and asset-strippers

It became the land of milk and honey

Players lost touch with the public

Fans turned into mere units of ...

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We got wed there one cold rainy June

Your bouquet flew in the air like a hawk

Derelict now, mossy gravestones its guards

We've got old, and worse, rarely talk

The chapel on the hill, the chapel on the hill

Ghostly with echoes of lost joys and sorrow

The chapel on the hill, the chapel on the hill

They're pulling it down tomorrow

Three boys we raised, they're all ab...

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Fledging at the speed of light

They patter like tap-dancers

Banqueting on chick-crumb

Soon, stately as Aldermen, and

Ripping at grass like tigers

They'll face into the rain

Abruptly the salad days will end

No more feinting at the post-man

Come Christmas they'll hiss in vain

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Annie was eighty and lived in a care home

Someone had wanted her out of the way

Unsung staff were her guardian angels

Love of the job more important than low pay

The home was a sanctuary for Annie

For her age she was mobile and fit

Her life was peaceful and quite secure

Until the day the covid-19 pandemic hit

Matron and her assiduous staff

Worried about Annie a...

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We met through a lonely hearts column

Such encounters are always pot luck

You're either delighted, even struck dumb

Or left wondering how to get off the hook

That was the night I walked out on grey hair

The poor women noticed my reluctance to stay

Yet on the phone she'd described it as "fair"

"Stay just a while..." I heard her trying to say

Later I felt ashamed fo...

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Just a book in a charity shop it was

"The Oxford Dictionary of Quotations"

(Third impression, revised, 1943),

Except for a dedication:

"Presented to Miss H C Barr as a mark

Of esteem from her Falkirk colleagues

On the occasion of her transfer to Glasgow 13"

There was a formal stamp in purple:

"H M Inspector of Taxes, 4th December 1943,

Mission Lane, Falkirk, Scotland"

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Where did the years go? Spent

Swimming through life like a dolphin? No

Spearing like a guillemot into the sea? No

Perhaps basking in shallows like a shark? No

Or flashing in the sun a la flying fish? No

So where did they go?

They got sucked like flotsam into a whirlpool

While I tried to keep my head above water

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The rot set in with the Ten Commandments

Setting standards that can never be met

Its the same when it comes to women

There's always one that you can't forget

Benchmark woman you haunt me

None ever compared with your charms

Lovely women come and lovely women go

None repeated such magic in my arms

A prototype female is a bit of a burden

A touchstone to make your ...

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Spots of rain spatter the water now

This bench is hard but I dont care

It seems nothing matters any more

Now that you're no longer there

Sighing with swans,brooding with swans

White down and orange bills, all easy grace

Out on the lake they sail and swim

But unlike me they know their place

Last night you dropped me like a hot cake

Yet the day had started so bri...

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Lock-down came at a bad time

We'd been daggers drawn for a while

Now we're in each others' pockets 24/7

I'd forgotten that you never smile

Careers kept us safely apart before

We were ships that passed in the night

Now I must endure you in the light of day

I must say its not a pretty sight

We try to keep out of each other's way

Coded messages signal the kitchen'...

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Its a pain in the neck and no mistake

Locked down, our busy lives on hold

But what of the billions less wealthy

Forever locked out in the cold?

Locked down or locked out

Are two very different fates

We blandly wait for a vaccine

To benefit our richer states

In Africa the virus is poverty

Immune to vaccines and drugs

Kids locked down all their lives

Regard...

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We obey society's conventions

For fear there's much to lose

One of the unwritten rules

Is to at least try to wear shoes

You went barefoot like a peasant

A throwback to the days of old

I wondered about your welfare

I feared you might catch cold

You risked those feet on grass and stone

Burned one after dropping the kettle

The other was left hopping mad

Afte...

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We watched fake news race

From that perma-tanned face

Those Harpic locks pre-fabricated and bleached

He wants vaccination by Domestos

No wonder he got impeached

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Before you Junoesque was my preference

I liked women with heft and large curves

Your charm revolutionised my template

Every man gets what he deserves

Your steps were small but they came to me

Along with those sylph-like dimensions

Above all you were humble in your love

You harboured no pretensions

My own proportions are far from enormous

Women offer me a loving...

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When you told me we were done

That you were thinking of leaving

I tried my best to mend my ways

For dread you'd leave me grieving

I've lately grown used to keeping

The hours that blackbirds keep

Awake by your side till dawn breaks

A condemned man waiting for sleep

On tenterhooks I just get by

Waiting for your decision

Blackbirds sing their songs

With exqu...

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How I wish the world was more quiet

I really hate all this hurly-burly

Too many folk are chattering

Some of them getting quite surly

Next door's lawn mower's buzzing

Birds twitter like a string quartet

My dog is howling at the postman

Soon I'll strangle that damned pet

Someone's hoovering fit to bust overhead

Pop music is screeching somewhere

Today even type...

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The day you bought me a yellow tie

I first wondered at your taste

Your wedding dress was primrose

Canary yellow at the waist

The lounge carpet is ochre

Kitchen cabinets buttercup

Daffodil is the bathroom

The place where I throw up

I'm sick to death of mustard

The sheets seem a tide of amber

In bed I get quite bilious

When over you I try to clamber

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Love's remembrances can be painful

Lurking like snakes in your head

I find memories of our finest hour

Amid itchy reminders in our bed

The crumbs in my bed remind me of you

The way you brushed your hair for hours

How you sat on the duvet nibbling cinammon toast

Or sniffing posies of hothouse flowers

I still can't work out why you left me

The truth is I'm more t...

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Looking down at your shoes

Looking down at your shoes

I smell a rat when I see you

Looking down at your shoes

First there was wayward Madeleine

You fell for those big sheep's eyes

Followed by her twin sister Hattie

Notorious for her cakes and pies

After Jennifer and Lana and Teri

Your eyes were glued to your loafers

You seem to spend all your time

Entwine...

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Beryl was a racing cyclist

The mistress of chain and sprocket

A national time trial heroine

She was in nobody's pocket

Like Dorothy Hyman from Cudworth

The girl from Leeds was undersold

London media ignored her

The BBC kept her in the cold

Today she would be lauded

Her talent would make a million

Sponsors would lionise her

Radiant on that golden pillion

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I was walking by the canal with Duke

The stone towpath reeks of history

We passed a multi-coloured narrowboat

A homely vessel redolent of mystery

On board was a girl swabbing the deck

I must confess I liked the cut of her jib

She invited me down the gangway

The cabin seemed no bigger than a crib

She loves my dog and I love her

I've never known such a feeling

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It was the smoggy late Fifties and I was a kid

On black and white TV home-made jive lacked soul

Then a second-hand gramophone turned up

Forty fives from the States brought rock and roll

Rock Street was cobbled and motors were few

Novel chords beat the hell out of the fog

Sung by Elvis,Little Richard, Brenda Lee

Rhythm and blues licked alive by a Hound Dog

Ele...

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Billy Bremner was the Ginger Rogers

To Norman Hunter's Fred Astaire

Their pitter-patter dance daunted opponents

They could tackle with their hair

From 1962 he was cast as a hard man

But he was a half back of distinction

Other sides quailed when he slid in

They knew they risked extinction

He came from mining stock, he was humble

Team-mates were in awe of hi...

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Supper is over and bed-time awaits

The moon has shrunk to a silver cowl

My bedroom window is rimmed with ice

As I watch and wait for the owl

Waiting for the owl waiting for the owl

The woods echo to its supernatural screech

Waiting for the owl waiting for the owl

That ghostly voice more vivid than speech

Is it always the same owl or has it a sibling?

Beak no do...

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After an age of stentorian coupling

Dots became tadpoles pullulating

Zooming around in marauding bands

A spoon of porridge for their catering

Tadpoles fed porridge and algae

Will grow into froglets in no time

I watched them hop onto dry land

I hoped they would reach their prime

But thrushes and robins were waiting

The novice amphibians proved easy meat

Beady...

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He'd killed mountain lions and elks

Survived years of snow and ice in the hills

Made a living by trapping and fishing

Yet somehow managed to pay his bills

He died in his bed like a sister of mercy

As we all do, he softly ran out of breath

We'd all imagined him facing a violent end

Some gruesome and horrible death

Down from the mountains he came one spring

Unabl...

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Hailstones pounded the sidewalk

And bounced off your pretty hat

I watched from a nearby doorway

I could'nt do any better than that

Hailstone girl you made me smile

The way you fought through fire

Afraid you looked but beautiful

Your courage filled me with desire

You dashed across the intersection

Automobiles flashed by roaring

Wipers raging, mad horns b...

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Humanity's gone into hibernation

Our focus has shifted to survival

Coronavirus has a bright side

We've changed since its arrival

Mortal danger pushed us together

New-found solidarity is a boon

Survivors will emerge stronger

Dont self-pity or despair too soon

Love can prevail over evil

But humility must come into its own

The era of complacency is over

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The train is getting slower and slower

Giving me time to rehearse my script

Eve is to meet me at the station

No doubt still furious, fine and ripped

Facing up to Eve, I can't do it

My nerve has gone already

I light a prohibited cigarette

My hand is no longer steady

The door opens and I alight

Ready for yet another squabble

There seems to be be no sign of Eve

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You can have too much of a good thing

When even the taste of caviar palls

Our line is more like periwinkles

We live mostly within these walls

We've not had fun for ages

Lately I've felt an urge to break free

Why not the funfair or Ilkley moor?

If only your specialist would agree

Your arthritis is a bit of a downer

One-way traffic to vegetation

At my age I ha...

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In layers of strata lie the tracks of history

Archaeologists hunt for artefacts and bones

I cut off your flex and buried you with ceremony

Lamenting the demise of your dulcet tones

Sentinel moonlight lit the private interment

Your laser will exhume Miles Davis no longer

Millenia of chords traversed that plastic portal

You left me deaf, my hearing aids get stronger

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U-boats patrolled the Atlantic, brave men if misguided

I sweat just thinking about all that ocean overhead

I'm sweating now not because I'm locked in a tin cylinder

It's because of what you've done to my head

I still can't believe the depths I've sunk to

I'm harassed and chided and regularly baited

I've become remiss about my personal hygiene

My professional standards hav...

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They say it kills horses and ponies

Worried farmers kill it with spray

Yet ragwort has another side

You don't hear of every day

The virtues of ragwort are few

Yet it provides pollen for bees

Its stalks are a nursery for moth grubs

On my land it grew up to my knees

I did my back in pulling it up

Saw starving bees fly off to die

Ever since then I've felt guilt...

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Being too sensitive is not for the faint-hearted

We all peer at life through individual prisms

I know now when my thin skin started

It was watching your peculiar mannerisms

Your peculiar mannerisms are legion

The way you chew your food is a sight

Your body language is a whole religion

Those facial expressions a thing of the night

You've left me wide open to the el...

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On the beach bits were sharp with old shells

Sand dry as dust cushioned our feet

In  a rock pool we saw the starfish

I'd never seen anything so neat

I've often thought of that creature

Its wonderful colourful ways

Moving at its own pace, shimmering,

In a mysterious starfish haze

Soon we saw another, from a family of gems

We stared and discussed Nature's pride

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She's smart as a whip and shoots from the hip

She's calm in a crisis and clever

She's stronger than men and quick with a pen

She's wiser than Plato was ever

Forest Green. Forest Green, my sylvan lover

Take care not to get that one riled

She lives in the woods with all her goods

A creature of Nature, God's child

I was walking my dog on a day blunt with fog

When ...

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