Father and Son

“I have a good mind”

No, you don’t

You bully, harrass, and cajole

But never with a good mind, 


“You just sit there”

I’ll sit, but you dear father 

Can’t stop my mind from racing 

across the universe, to view

The wonders

“You’ll never learn”

You never teach, 

Or demonstrate clearly

What you ask is out of my reach

And my interest

“Why do you answer ...

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Riding the Tube


Travelled in London,

Rode the Picadilly line,

Deodorant's fine

If others spray, otherwise

There's no nasal protection.

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Making Up in BSL


Lovers at a round table 

Experiencing alfresco Expresso,

Arguing so passionately at each other,

Their flailing arms demand the attention of the other,

Facial expressions accentuate each silent voice

Grimacing with gritted teeth, wide-eyed disbelief

Frantically fingers touch their face with force

Spelling words and phrases only they can share,

Some shock the reader but ...

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Clouds of White

Floating gently above darkened clouds,

Looking down upon madding crowds,

Whistling wind and dripping rain,

See those people mightily strain

Against the boredom of their humdrum life,

A husband late home to his nagging wife

Who’s spent her day in effortful cleaning

Washing, cooking, all-day preening,

Ironing, polishing, occasionally resting,

Maintaining their home so both...

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See you later Alligator, In a while Crocodile.


Let's go for a wander


What’s your wish?


Let's just have a gander


What shall we see?


We’ll see what’s about 

Rainbow Trout,

Whether that's a little

Or even Axolotl,

Where shall we go?

Water buffalo

What about the beach?

Common Leech,

I don’t fancy that

Little brown bat,

How about the park?


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Four Pound, Half An Ounce

Two bags of sugar

A pinch of ground black pepper,

Weight of the baby

Mother gave birth to that day.

(I've sure made up for it since).


Born on the Sabbath

Priests rejoiced at her bedside.

Six weeks early though,

Sagittarian archer

Not a horned Capricorn goat.


First hours without God

We both looked death in the eye,

Mum scarred by cancer,

I, tubed and...

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#motherly love

Lost in Conflict


Many years ago

In a long-forgotten time,

I watched a Channel Four TV show,

I was hooked in episode one,

The endings had a certain style

Making me wait impatiently for next week,

I was gripped by the excitement

Needing to understand more.


Each character held and hid a secret

Plots had subplots galore,

I couldn’t always keep up,

So I took comfort in social ...

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Virgin Summer Night


Nothing assaults the senses like the chill air of a summer's evening,

Forearm follicles as erect as a pubescent boy's expectation of his young penis 

Or nipples hardening through your silken blouse. 

The smell of summer love when two bodies collide in passion

It has the warmth of the day yet exacerbated and put to fire by your sensual touch, 

Sweat from our movements and desire...

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#first love

Metaphors of The Unsated


A pebble thrown into a millpond displays delightful concentric circles

I have thrown countless pebbles, to no avail

What’s unfair should make you stronger,

I’m the sum of my life's successes, not my failures, 

A bicycle peddled, generates forward motion, faster and faster downhill,

I’ve pressed down firmly, I’m no more forward than I was before.

What’s unfair should make you...

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# no fathers day

Mocked by Weevils

I will take your hand, please lead me from darkness, 

Living this tortuous love, every day,

I saw hurting myself as reasonably, to my mind, 

the only exit. 

But I was too much a coward, without your help

Each day my skin crawled, 

Infected by imaginary long-snouted Weevils

That left tiny footprints on my dry flaking skin,

Each print points forward

Mocking my decision to ...

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suicide poem

Confused Dot Com

Just three little questions my dear friends,

I hope you can lend a hand,

Each scenario happened today,

And I still don’t quite understand.


If the square of the hypotenuse,

Is the sum of squares on either side,

How do you get an Articulated lorry,

Through a gate just 10 feet wide.


The calculated arc of a cannonball,

Hits square the castle wall, not the moat,


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#humour #poetry



All my life I have heard their sound

But they rejected the want of me

My unfading desire to see

I the father. It was never meant to be 


We had each other, desires abound 

Still, they rejected both you and me

My unfading desire to see

I the father. Was never meant to be 


We tried, we cried, in tears, our love drowned

I rejected you, they still rejected me


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Paul and Art’s  ‘B’ Side to Mrs Robinson


The deepest depth that it’s possible to fall,

Is into an abyss of betrayal and despair,

Duplicity cuts deep for the unsuspecting soul,

Leaving life without direction, reason or care,

Yet you held your head high

Showed him the door, waved goodbye,

And you moved on.


The longest journey you could undertake,

Starts with that initial tentative step,

Traversing the p...

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love poems


Just another day? No.

Unlike any occasion for a descendant of Alfred,

Bunting fluttering, balloons flying, bonhomie bestowed

Images of infectious inclusivity, involving

Legions of patient Mall celebrants

Euphoric and excitable subjects of the realm

Embracing each and every moment of Royal reverence.

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I’ve walked in the footsteps of Rupert Brooke,

Paddled barefoot in Byron's pool,

Had tea with Mrs Woolfe and Maynard Keynes,

The sky, reminiscent of grandparent's tales of youth

For them then, it was always warm and sunny with a blue haze,

They always finished their tales with the phrase, "not anymore."

Yet today it was, a pre-1940 azure blue sky

Reminiscent of an Arthur or En...

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One Night, 

Up The Airy Mountain

On the slopes of Shangri La

L, L, Lucy and Rico were to Drift Away 

although inexperienced

Under The Moon Of Love.

Lean On Me my Slow Talking Boy, Lucy comforted

I’ve read the Book of Love 

We should Just Try A Little Tenderness

For Rico, there was no Beating Round The Bush

This was no Hula Love.

Use Your Imagination

And tre...

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 The Man in the Crooked Hat


"No one will know," Said the man in the crooked hat,

"No one will guess, see, I'm very well respected,"

"I'm a pillar of this community,”

"I wouldn't even be suspected.”


But I will surely know, I thought,

I will have to carry this shame,

As well as a guilty conscience,

But I'll never carry your blame.


I can't remember your facial features,

I remember your ...

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Will You Come And Hold Me

Will you come and meet me?

When I get to heaven,

Will you come and find me?


I’m afraid to go

But I know you’re there,

Will you come and find me?


It's not been easy,

No cure-all for a broken heart,

Will you come and love me?


I think every day

About my love for you,

Will you come and love me too?


I’ve missed you,

Sought-after through sorrowe...

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Don’t Break the Bat, Play the Game


Catch the midnight thirty train from oblivion,

Hold high your head to the morning light,

Sense newfound wisdom in your heart,

See opportunities once hidden from your sight.


Hope is not lost to a poor man's widow,

Love not destroyed in a spiders web,

Dreams are not abandoned whilst we’re not sleeping,

They are just postponed, as the sea on the ebb.


So take up ...

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Debt Owed and Paid


Black-hearted they, black shone their eyes, 

Their final resting place, below ground, lies, 

Tabloids surmise the last intake of breath, then,

Retell painful stories of these felonious men. 


No mourners they, all excluded from this site, 

Cold stiff lifeless bodies now in their deaths contrite, 

No tears of grief from lamenting eyes are shed 

Only priestly absolution...

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Marion Braidfute (Wife of Braveheart)

Longshank’s Primae Noctis

Favoured sport of overlord

Returning sullied to my husband, crying,

I grasp his battle sword,

Our Lord this nicht has defiled me 

My virginity tooketh, not giv’n,

Let’s pledge undying hatred afor him

Ne’er shall he e’er be forgiv’n.

Let us seek our retribution, with this sword I will unbleed him

My flower may be stolen, but he’ll ne’er tak my fr...

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1967 Coniston Water

Bluebird whistles in the air,

We were there, when

The bluebird dipped into the lake,

It reminds me of us, once singing sweetly

Then down,

Overcome by the black waters of indifference.

Bluebird rises up, not confidently

Spluttering shoreward, down, gone,

It reminds me of us, quick to love

Then speedily to oblivion.

Love remembered but hopelessly lost,

In those dark ...

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Bitter Colours

This bitter coloured wind, 

Steelyard blue, 

Cuts like a knife piercing the skin, cold as frosted sparks.


Your bitter coloured smile, 

Pursed pink, 

Sucks life as an Octipi suck, and leaves ugly marks where you have touched. 


The bitter colour of your love, 

Redacted black, 

Blocks light as a lid over our past and future, our present is already lost. 



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Not the worst thing?

Parasites that suck from your veins,

Ticks, quickly gorge and grow

Fit to bursting.

Fleas, trigger your flesh to complain,

Leeches induce blood t’flow,

That’s not the worst thing?

"Not even close," said the politician

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Need some help?


Diazepam sponsors your mental health

Destroying the heart of your brain by stealth



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Every day is Earthday

Earth Mother wearing her pastel blue bonnet,

White clouds like cultured pearls strung around her neck, 

A stole like warm breeze envelops,

Sturdily held treetops cast shadows on the ground,

Leaves and grass a similar green, cast grey. 

Babbling, a small transparent stream, without the guilt of direction,

Meandering, sometimes galloping, sometimes near still,

Waterside Weeping ...

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You Can't

You can’t, choose your family

They get to choose neither,                                  

They have no say in you,

Or you in them either,

The boss made the rules,

He can’t exactly break them,                   

Your family is as is,

You shouldn’t really blame them,                                       

I know you do,

Things happen, possibly blamelessly,            


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Alliterative Dating

Single salacious Sagittarian,

Seeks safe sexual satisfaction,

Sensually seductive Scorpion sought.

Simply send solicited Snapchat snapshot,

Successful satiation,

Secrecy sworn. 


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Is it too late to kick start a wasted life?


I'm amazed at just how little I know 

about anything at all. I thought I knew a lot, 

I have hundreds of books on my shelf that's got to mean something,

Especially If I had read them! 

Then I would know lots more, But it seems that this is my anachronism

Old fashioned knowledge learning, juxtaposed with modern living

The time I’ve not spent reading these regimentally stack t...

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Diabetic Discography (Sung to the tune, Prince Charming by Adam and The Ants)


Vipidia, and Gliclazide

Atorvastatin, Finger prick and testing

Don't eat sugar, Don't eat sugar

Stop getting Hyper, Finger prick and testing



Glaucoma is something to be scared of

Vipidia, and Gliclazide

Atorvastatin, Finger prick and testing

Vipidia, and Gliclazide

Neuropathy, don't forget all your tablets

Vipidia, and Gliclazide


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You Can’t Fly A Kite In The Rain

The only obligation for living,

Is that we lay down somewhere and die,

The only thought we have of happiness,

Is felt as we breakdown and cry,

So don't speak to me of your understanding,

Don't expect telegrams of thanks,

Luxury cocoons you from misery, as

With hands tied we fall on life's tracks.


Ministry for Empathy’s doors firmly bolted,

All other avenues to a bri...

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Life Has No Refund Policy

Life is not just a game

That you or I can play,

Life is what we all make

Of each, and every day.


Lifes ups and downs are there, so

We can laugh and cry out loud,

Wished for silver linings are

Accompanied by a cloud.


You're not alone in life's game,

There's nothing, no one to blame,

We all struggle the same,

Way walking in the rain,


Our death at th...

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Ministry of Misanthopery


Miserable men

Bow your heads in shame

Let guilt of a thousand years be your name


Foul-smelling offspring

Of a winters freeze

Satisfy your smugness, down on your knees


Crawl even lower

Than the sons of snakes

Crawl from the chaos you've left in your wake


Slither silently,

Without any sound

Slither silently as you go to ground


Ebb fairly q...

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Stevie 1902 to 1971

Miss Smith, Oh Miss Smith, 

Whom did you share your life with? 

I hear no men, nor grateful lovers 

Slept nightly warmed, between cotton covers. 



Miss Smith, Oh Miss Smith, 

Backbone filled with English pith, 

Father absconds when you’re only three, 

So, off to 'Lion Aunts' for afternoon tea. 



Miss Smith, Oh Miss Smith, 

Celebrated poet smith, 


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Happy ever after


Hearing my name,

I sprang off the bed,

My new mum had shouted "dinner time".

Running down the dark corridor in this big old house,

I am reminded of the Romanian orphanage where I had lived,

There were no windows, nor light

in those corridors either.

Young then

and small,

The older ones would bully me,

Often forcing me to give up my food to them.

My perfect day


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I had a wife,

Her name was Claire,

She had beautiful eyes,

She had long blonde hair.


We also had a dog,

Claire called it Mac,

If she threw a stick,

Mac brought it back.


We had a cat,

Claire's little Mabel,

She would feed it by hand,

From the dining room table.


We had tropical fish,

From the freshwaters of Japan,

Claire watched them for hours...

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Wooden Flooring at the Bottom of our Stairs

Hard shiny flooring
Interlocking laminates
Feels cold to bare feet
Slippery when wearing socks
Step safely on rug islands

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Morning Canine Constitutional Stroll

White frost underfoot,

Green shoots poking through,

My shoes letting the cold come in,

What’s it like for you?


Circling slowly,

You need that perfect spot,

This cold, now biting my feet,

I should’ve worn thicker socks,


This way, then that,

Surely you must know,

The direction we are going,

Do you have to walk so slow?


The sun shines, yet it’s still...

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(from small acorns, mighty oaks grow)



So much pressure on growth,

Small acorn by comparison to most of the world,

Yet I will undoubtedly amount to so much,

I just need time and turgidity,

Push through,

Push upwards,

Push onwards,

Gravity gives a clue about which direction,

That I must push against, 

With all those pressures, I’m Geotropically immune, 


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I Don’t Know What Went So Wrong That Day


I don’t know what went so wrong that day,

It happened before my own life began,

You met a man, you fell in love,

Turned that man into my father,

You forgot, however, to turn that man from 

Being a bigot,

An emotional bully was his nature,

He raised children like a Sergeant Major.


I don’t know what went so wrong that day,

It happened when I was about four,


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All about love (By a recently jilted lover)






No more!

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Holidaying in Cardigan Bay


Kaikoura or Tresaith

Similar but different

Seen Sheep, not Welsh Whales

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Yesterday, Today, No Tomorrow

There's no hope in a world full of desperation,

When our worst nightmares have all come to life,

There's no heart in the greyness of desolation,

When the mere act of surviving is strife.

The bearest of care for those suffering,

Death is the only escape from the pain,

The nuclear mushroom uplifts its horrors,

Depositing all its doom down as rain.

Yesterday's visions of our t...

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Not Too Young to be a Pensioner

With a thick tartan blanket,

An old rocking chair,

A pipe, some slippers,

White thinning hair,

A little black mongrel,

Asleep on the floor,

The love of a good wife,

Who could ask any more?

A big flat-screen TV,

Tuned to BBC 1,

A roaring log fire, 

Matching the warmth of the sun,

A mug of hot chocolate,

With a biscuit or two,

The joys of old age,

Are com...

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Miss Guided,

And Miss Directed, 

Driving home together, from their lovely holiday,

Hoping this was the best route for their drive,

But they had been given poor advice, 

By Mister Roundabout 

And Mister Junction,

They should never have been on the ‘A’ Two Two Five.


In a panic, they started ringing friends,

For more up to date route finder advice,

But Miss Read, an...

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The School Run


Young mums of all shapes and sizes,

Stood outside the little school gates,

Superciliously smiling,

At other young mums, as they wait.


Some of them come on bicycles,

Others arriving in flash SUVs,

Walkers with prams or other tots,

There's even one with a taxi.


There are some Nannies, not Nannys,

Mind you, there could be one or two,

There are granddads an...

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Hula skirts, Kisses and Leis

To sleep,

I remember nothing during the time that I’m asleep,

Do you?

I dream of exotic places with sandy beaches,

Desert island,

Ladies in hula skirts handing out kisses and Leis,

Do you?

Or is it just me, in that early morning central heating,

Too warm,

I arise, quickly dress, and descend the stairs,

Downhill now,

I see the evidence of the morning that I had miss...

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Interior Decorating

We've had the decorator in this week,

Such a nice chap,


He's local,

But originally from Newcastle,

But we can’t hold that against him,

Can we?

The colour choice,

Not chosen by me,

It’s a sort of Starbucks, Costa theme,


With frothy barley white,

Stick it in a mug and I’d be happy,

It's going in the dining and living rooms,

Then we ...

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Mrs. Lloyds Daughter

Mrs Lloyds' daughter, Carrie,

Lives a fast life, will not tarry,

Wishing away the nights that she sleeps,

Cursing the hours of the days and the weeks.


Cursing away those hours in her day,

Annoyed that her life hasn’t turned out the way

She had planned, hoping her future had instore

An escape from this routine she endures.


Life took offence, he fled through the doo...

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A Dutchman Earmarked For Greatness

(words in Bold are his paintings)


There was once a painter called Van Gogh,

Who painted young Adeline Ravoux,

Still life, Cabbage and Clogs,

A Cart with Black Ox,

And a Wheatfield covered in Crows.


The early works of Vincent Van Gogh,

Showed working folk, scenes set in snow,

A Peasant Burning Weeds,

Autumnal Landscape with Trees,

Sowing, picking, peeling and...

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