Poetry Blog by Phil Kay

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White light

When the bough breaks

And falls to the fathomless earth

When the ground shakes

And it feels like rebirth

 

Do we look to the skies

With tear stained eyes

Or swallow the bread

And bury our dead.

 

Is life the only slot

To protect from this blinding spot

Or are we energy

To fly back to the heavens.

 

There’s no answer

Only faith to relive

The only a...

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I wrote this selection of Haiku after losing my son of 18yrs to teen cancer. 

 

Tears flow face feathers

Wrapping the world in wet wings

Cradling hearts broken .

 

…………………………………..

 

Emptiness vacuum

Space floating in space floating

Stars shining for love.

 

…………………………………..

 

Smiling beautiful

Peaceful tranquility there

Rest now your heartsfists. 

...

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Homage to Shane

I saw a pot of gold

Sitting slumped by the road

He was beautiful and broken.

And shone with alabaster

Broken teeth and shame.

His words were gold.

 

He was rotting

In his prison

But still glowed 

With all thats great.

Of the greatest of hungers.

 

He was Behan

He was Mangan

He was unshaven.

He flowed with a love

That only he could see

With fidd...

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Shane Macgowan

Life and death the only real question.

I am the undying

Forever flying

Lost in a dream of death.

 

The cigarette dances upon my lips

At four of the morning time

A time for mourning mime.

 

There is no sleep for the lost

I feel it deeply to my cost

Just to feel death so close.

 

The rope in my closet calls to me

All could be over all could be free

But it just won’t be.

 

I dream awake of n...

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Bach

I saw a barque

And it was painted in Rome

Where it called home

What a lark a baroque barque

The baroque barque was made 

from trees stripped stark of covering bark

And as the shipwrights stripped

They made great wooden attack

To the haunting tunes of Sebastian Bach

What a lark to make a baroque barque 

stripped of bark listening to Bach

A lofty matter when composin...

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Ugly

Take the ugly things

The twisted forlorn

Fallow empty cold

Ugly things.

The despised, feral

rancid vapid tepid

Broken things.

The ambitions

the contradictions.

that bastardise

humanity and 

kick human frailty.

Into damaged things.

To progress on

Imagined ladder

built on the rotten

Wood of greed.

Greed ugly creed.

For recognition

and blind am...

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Son

Son

Sun

Love

Sweet love

Lost
Pain deep
Mind
Heart
Torn asunder
Wonder
Deeper than
Deepest darkness
Son
Sun
Love
Pained behest
Unblessed
Godless
Lossless gone
To cosmos
Spiritual
Ancestral
No future
To gain
Within pain.
Son
Sun
Love.

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Panama Love

Panama Love a short story.

 

The Panama canal is about 51 miles long. Constructed to save the hazardous and longer trip around the infamous Cape Horn. Its an engineering wonder! Made by man to connect the Atlantic sea with the Pacific Ocean it was started by the French in the eighteen hundreds who gave up because of the death rate among workers, it was finished by the Americans in the early ...

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The Oxygen thief

Look its 

Me

Please look

See

Me

I’m here so 

You can see

Me

I’m loud 

And here

Near

See me

And hear me

And see me

Its why

I’m me

Why I’m 

Here

See me

Be there and look

At me

Hear me with

All your 

Ears

And soul

Give me it

All

All your belief

All your relief

Its me

Here

The oxygen

Thief.

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selfishness

Soul?

The history of 

Organised religions

Has never passed rent free

Its stressed in carven stone

Lost in craven moan

Soulless seeking souls

Reaching for a missing heaven

Misfits of recognition

Blighting of long tradition

Give them back their freedom.

Until its passed its kingdom 

To face a faithless fate

Is not to miss the gate

For those that see the strife

Can...

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Light

I'm awake 

I'm white

Bright white

Light

Glowing
Growing
Freedom flowing
And I feel me
Conscious free
I fly
To the sky
To the stars
Another
Light
Pure good
Energy
Comes to meet
Flowing and free
Bright
The other light
Touches me
Warms me
And I feel
In my energy
“What took you so long dad”?
I feel a smile
And energy combined
In warm
Pure love
We floated free
To g...

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loveSon

Stories to tell early 1980

Cathy was my friend.

I was twenty.

Cathy was twenty three.

she worked 

at British Home Stores.

On the counter

where lipstick

and smells jostled.

Colours for the nose.

Candy for the eye.

 

She was pretty.

Very pretty.

 

We’d meet in 

The pub.

“The Cheese”.

We’d drink. 

We’d get stoned.

And go and 

have sex.

We didn’t 

make love.

 

...

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Autobiographydrugslife

68 Grafton St 1977

We took acid

Saw things

We stumbled across 

Hull university

Fields

With reds and yellows

Blues and glowing

Things floating

In our heads

So funny

We laughed

And called and yelled

And danced

And pretended

We were famous

Musicians

 

And we went home

We became a football team

And kicked the ball in

The living room

Where we did

Everythin...

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Autobiographydrugsfriendslost youthStudent life

Fiery heart

The flames licked eagerly at my heart

How long had we been apart?

It seemed a lifetime now

But truth bends in sad dismay.

 

I try to stare into infinity

But see just tomorrow before me.

Its all too late my psyche states

Its all gone its all to late.

 

My embalmed mind kisses

All that it misses and misses.

Florid in obscurity

Searching for that purity.

 

...

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lossmissingpsyche

Lost love

Losing love is hard on the heart.

Sometimes we feel we’re coming apart.

Feelings of pain

Battle this stain

 

Its so hard to love and lose

Robert Johnson come sing the blues

Its not to separate heart from brain

As we battle scorned disdain.

 

Yet recovery stands and stairs in vain

We carry marks as left by Cain.

Loneliness is a dreadful spot

Seems to be a drea...

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My Son

The cool clear beauty

that is your face to me.

The seeing of you 

that made me feel free.

 

Your calm and kind smile

gentleness by the mile.

The strength of your mind

That made you so kind.

 

Your flyaway words

soaring like birds.

Swooping and gliding

wisdom abiding.

 

Your generosity of spirit

your kindness of soul.

Your limitless friendship

t...

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LossLove

Free the mind

Flaming heads to muddled waters

Put them through to general quarters

The thoughts fly free

Giving truth the lee.

 

Lost minds unravel

As routes less travel

To places long ago

Places free to go.

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Amsterdam 1982

In late Nineteen eighty two

i was feeling very frail.

And on this occasion

went a bit off the rails.

 

Not really knowing

Who I am

I took myself off

To Amsterdam.

 

There I met a mate

Who was a little bit gone

Always called himself

by the name of Mad John.

 

He set me up there

with a nice little number.

Something to do,

A nice little number.

...

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Reflection refraction.

Punch me a portrait

Kick me a scream

Throw me a lifeline

Pain me a dream

 

Breath me a mouthful

Exhale me a dot

Kill me twice over

Send me to rot

 

Hold my head under

Bleed me from eyes

Chop out my liver

Cover me in lies

 

Walk on beside me

While I feel myself run

Pour me your whiskey

From the mouth of a gun

 

Dig me up twice

Bury me a...

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Kill Them All

Kill them all

Said the man 

who sent

The man with

The vest

 

Kill them all

Said the man

Who ordered

The man

Who drives

The drone

 

Kill them all

Said the Sheik

To the pilot

Who hit

The tower

 

Kill them all

Said the man

To the pilot

Who commands

The B52 overhead

 

Kill them all 

Said the man

Who recruited 

The kids

...

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pub

Walked from the emptiness

of a grey cold flat

onto grey cold streets

made greyer by the seeping

misery of rain

that isn’t quite rain.

Walked the dank streets of oblivion

to a bar, the bar.

There’s the smiling faces.

Josh like a son

smiles and big brain

Big Mike with

gentlest smile on earth.

Dylan walking his own path

spreading happiness.

Kayde constant ...

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Truths vanish 

As history is written

Smoke wreathes around

Time upon time

The reflections of broken mirrors 

The refractions of shards

Placed to trap dullards

Whose minds travel in a heard.

 

Truths vanish

Upon the alter of greed

Perceived greater need

For those to feed

Whose snouts already bleed

From trammelling in the seeds

Of victims final needs.

...

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A night out in Jack Dempsy's bar New York. 1980.

Oh god. Oh Dear.

A hangover in New York New York.

Small recollections through

hazes of alcohol pulsed pain.

Shaking fingers fumbling 

for coffee and cigarette.

In a dark wood cased  cabin

from sweat stinking bunk.

A million other people

who jerked through the same dance

Night before around the world.

I stepped in time with you.

 

On subways that fled past

...

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Autobiography

So I Hit Him

Granny

Grateful widow

Granddad

East Yorkshire Regiment

Misogynist with

Drink and fists

Uncle George

Uncle Ernie

Uncle Fred

Coldstream guardsmen

Aunty Frieda hard working mam

Aunty Jenny shop boss

My dad Dave

Uncle Tommy

In the shipyards

Mum a seamstress

Till I appeared 

Ernie war hero

George boxing hero

Fred docking hero

Dad my hero

Gr...

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biography

They're Only Words.

Without the emotion that drives along our poetry they remain only words.

 

Everyones spitting gritting hitting shitting whimsical pastures of pestilential sepulchritude. 

…Which is about someone spitting a dummy out and putting it back un-wiped in their gob.

 

The masterful mastication of the master masturbators morose onanism is entrenched entrancement

.…watching someone wank. 

...

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Last Night.

What was tonight?

Whiskey and water.

Beer,

Arguments surreptitiously

Heard.

“My husbands a cunt.

But I stay with him.

He fucked the next door neighbour!

I told that bitch and she left.”

Cigarette passes between lips.

Smoke inhaled.

Scared of the night.

Afraid to leave, 

Afraid to stay.

Lost in a miasma

Of friendship love and fear.

Strangers awash in ...

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Life

The universe is very small now,

As broad as a tightrope.

As short as a thought.

We are tiny

As tiny as 

………….’s

Floating in minds eye.

The world is small

Smaller than a mote.

And we balance on it

Lost but afloat.

Just.

The universe is anything.

The universe is anyone.

It can walk alongside you.

One day its your son or daughter.

Another its stars.

...

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Your seven.

Walking hand in hand

Your seven.

Wide eyes.

Big world.

Small warm hand

Reaches for and

Buries in my paw.

Mans hand, callouses and oil.

But still fists full of love.

Protection and love.

We kick leaves.

High

Golds and reds.

Asphalt coated

In browns and beauty.

The leaves fly up

Whirl and flow

Swirling

Unplanned patterns.

Stick to our shoes

...

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happinesslovememories

Boulevard (For my son).

The boulevard of broken dreams begins at the end of a snicket, with a shop selling guilt and poverty. Where, mostly men, scratch thin blue lines from short thin blue pens in short hopes of riches. Few walk out with happy visage.
Next an unsmiling heavily built, overly sweaty Armenian take away managers’ tattered emporiam. He exploits youngsters for their honest toil with pennies and always needs ...

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FriendshipLossLove

Unholy

Got no 

self respect

Walking low

like 

An insect

Shadowy motes

Filed in

amygdlia

Shaking 

In the belly

Craving

In the mind

Feel like

Im dying

Wish

I was dead

If I live

Till tomorrow

It’ll be a 

Long time

Lost spark

shouts

Always dark

Want to 

Run

No fun

Bring me 

Life

Lost life

Forgotten

Life

Forever runni...

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The end.

Wandering ferociously through crowds
Wondering verbally things out loud
Surrounded by the deafening thunder 
People pushing people ripped asunder
Seeing visions in mile long stare
Hiding pain in vain despair
Feeling minutely like a number
Really dumber then the really dumber
Staggering on feet dragging in sand
Eat my mind its awful bland
Tongue is swollen with fat words of hate
Hearing ...

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Friendship. Loss.

His hands shook

His face contorted 

He fought with 

His stomach

Every morning

Palsy’d whiskey

Into his coffee

At breakfast

Thought no one

Noticed

As his new day 

Was inhaled past

His vomit rotted

Teeth.

 

His breath stunk

His skin was

pallid

He hadn’t washed

His eyes 

Were like

Dark

Stained glass

Portholes 

As he peered 

Ou...

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Comrade.For my friend Nicky. GentlemanWildman

Memento Mori

Splashing along 
Past the wall
Behind which
The off white
Ageless
Stones stare
Back at 
Wanderers
And seekers
And pilgrims
And guests
Memento Mori

Seeking words
In ancient 
Tomes
From long lost
Homes 
And forgotten
Names
Of every type
And custom
And history
Memento Mori

All the fears
Drawing near
Reduced by
Atheism
Dodging hellfire
Fear of
Not arriving
At final de...

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We loved you all

entry picture

Ive seen the smiling beautiful faces of precious youth

Taking fear and horror by its loathsome breath

Who washed themselves clean of its stain

With nothing more then countless courage

And disdainful acts of random kindness.

 

Ive seen the happy gentle porcelain faces of our very best

The ordinary made extraordinary by the casually vile

Who stared into the face of blackened ...

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Cancer. Love.Childhood

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