System error

(music: "One side of me" - Sebastian Zawadzki)

Do you get sold on others

trying to pitch liberation

in a moment of ecstasy

portrayed

as bliss

when knowing not

what choice is

 

do you get sold on yourself

trying to pitch serfhood

in a moment of ecstasy

forgotten too soon

when remembering is

what loss can not express

an emptiness

constructing meaning

...

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Rictus

(music: "Return 2" - Max Richter)

Fear -

that something called out in front of you

the day before the day

you called yourself desperate

in trying

to find

the voice

for all the silent screams

you gave away in front of mirrors

since you never cry alone

and you will always be there

for yourself

the perfect reflection

of a rictus

one only you have seen on...

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Missed call

(music: "Dream 1" - Max Richter)

If there is anything I ask of you

its silence

one understanding absence of intention

and maybe two more thoughts you’d keep

for a future not ours

just one question there forever longing

which we both buried

in the joys of chords stricken

by the emergence

of a nothingness

so complex in its antithesis of what two could be

we'd cr...

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Walking dead

(music: "Small measure of peace" - Hans Zimmer)

Uncertainty of pain

Is this what you call boredom?

A nagging

circling

feeling

of being there for no one

but being

A banality of existence paused wilfully?

Is this how you call life controlled?

All that you can allow yourself to act on –

a decreation of your "I"  –

accepting death

preathumously

in summoni...

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Expected

(music: "Together we will live forever" - Clint Mansell)

Night falls like your words

So expected

Devoid

A mystery unveiling fears of being just another shadow

Uncast

in an alchemic mix

of the purportedly eternal

blindness.

 

Embrace me like a dream

So expected

Detached

A hope unveiling mysteries of being

Or just another page turned

in your calendar ...

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Betrayal

(music: "Hold this place" - Alice In Winter)

A feeling so withhold

Just passing

Or not

Returning

In circles repeated

Soo many times

You forgot it’s a wheel

One that drives you into that nowhere you can't see

Cause it drives you

A driver blind

But not as much as you feel

A something you know too well

For custom, it turned out in that space of yours

Where al...

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One for another

(music: "Internal Flight" - Estas Tonne)

Following all sought for

You let go

Of pain

As you do the grip of a chord

Mastering agony as just another song

In rhythms of backward clocks

You let go of the moments

leaping into your old pond

of tears uncried

letting someone listen

to the sound

of pain

unsought

leaving behind stillness

emersed in yearning sear...

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The choice

(music: "Dream 3"- Max Richter)

How shall I empty

This present full of tears behold

One carried along

For too long

Torn sideways by delusion and pain

One too full

Of senseless searches

for meaning and justice

cause pain cannot be felt

Alone

Just like beauty cannot be felt

Together

And death cannot be accepted

By anyone who shared

Them both.

 

Dea...

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Sonnet to absence

(music: "Absence" - by Juliano) 

Believe
That nothingness will hold you
And cherish you
Like no one ever could or would
will let you be 
everything a random choice would ever deem to be
Just nothing
Just present
Earning
To continue
Without pretence
For all the other
Without despise
For all the other
In an all-encompassing being of being
Squared to the capacity 
Of uncertainties ...

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Lossless

(music: "How did it happen"- Tom Holding)

Don’t let me go

Away in singlehood unfounded

For I trusted too long

A single word

So pointed in its centredness

It's lost

in all the vanity of averageness

Unrecognized

To the most simple of the truths

For I know

In hopes ungrounded

That that away

too lost in misted lows

Is just an absence of tomorrow

A loss...

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Mishoped

(music "Interstellar" - by Hans Zimmer)

One word won't let the sadness of your silence

slip by another time

just whisper closely once again through breaths skipped one after another

that nothing can be easy if not tried

you move in steps not taken

dreamt through instants merged into those others

in wishes bold but also thoroughly controlled

or not

maybe just raged out in...

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Untitled 5

(music: "A model of the universe" - by Jóhann Jóhannsson)

What do you think you understand of pain

When you can understand it?

Not when your mind bounces in leaps towards the hells of hell

in nothingness

but understanding how you got there?

Seeing the path to nowhere

Freefalling

While desperately trying to cling to any reminder of just being human

But failing

And tr...

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Untitled 4

(music: "A model of the universe" - by Johan Johansson)

A blank page is full in its modesty of unreflection

Emptiness though meant to be grasped

Is just an error lost to transition

To the observer of time

To the onlooker of dust

To the catcher of thoughts

Forgotten in absence

Mistaken in loss

Present in a being so flawless

Just the mad ones can feel it

Yet unshakab...

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The one

(music - "I giorni" - by Ludovico Einaudi)

You woke up to a wind of thought whispers

Alone

awake for hope

The one you don’t believe in

But feel

The one you fight

But cannot overcome

The one you hate

As much as you love

And as much as you love yourself

The one you envy the most

The one minding the one

The one oneing

Around oblivion

Around others

Tha...

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The classic

(written while listening to  "Air on the G string"- by J.S. Bach)

Lead me to beauty

On drops of tears cried for aeons

Towards creation absoluted from the sin of perfection

An art subtly brute

Alive

Cracked from the pressures of being

Enduring change in instants of frailty

Perfected to human

Tuned to the abyss

Of atrocities too quickly forgotten

It's not about beaut...

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Galatea

(written while listening to "Una Mattina"- by Ludovico Einaudi)

Just forget me, cause you already did

by inventing me the moment you saw me

Not that face of solid stone cut rigidity

But those eyes

Glancing at you

Uncovering the darkness in your moves

Too realistically hollow

Embracing your well-accepted disappointment

In being

Glancing through others at your own mind

...

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The vow

(written under "Dream 3 (in the midst of my life) - by Max Richter)

You are my blind sacrifice

A love never happened

A love never to be

A single no, to save your yeses

from vanishing inside my empty future

A single no, for the day not to come

The one when you meet my enamoured gaze

Melting in the swarm of shadowy delusions

The one when I meet my apex

And fall into c...

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The name

(music: "So far, so close"- by Olafur Arnalds)

Just tell me a word
so I can write down forever
the name of the rose
that one, plane and hypnotic,
swinging in your mind
from lobe to lobe
like the millionth elephant
swinging in other people’s cobwebs of trust.

Just tell me to go
and never return
cause I will anchor back
and you know it too well;

and don't trust your cobweb

of ...

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