the road

               it is tough

                          friend

I have been broken, yes, but not from wickedness. If trouble knew who found me                   all cruelty would cease swimming in a pool of pity,  i don’t talk of what I tend

mindfully love my work, strive to rise to the version of me liked best                                                       ...

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oh you didn't like those repeated reminders, I see                                                         having never learned        to argue together                        this is how we must do it

friend you come here repeatedly                                                                                                                                to read, to see, to feel, alway...

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Met me; you saw fireworks

        the way you danced into the bar that stormfilled afternoon... this meeting was planned                       excitement palpable, me charming, you say             I ignore you completely

There is a cost to thievery. You considered it very closely, took all your time, then

                                                                               ...

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The point

            The mission

                             The quest, if you will

Is to go back to living a sweet life

Did you know you took that from me?

Took my rest?

Have you ever soaked in a natural hot spring?

See, i don’t know and that’s a problem for me

                       It’s somet...

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(First posted Tuesday 16th November 2021 2:49 pm, reclaiming)

For behold, a great truth has been made known when the water turned to mist

                      I am more beautiful for having been loved

Yes betrayed but the reason stands behind the library shelf

I screamed so they threw me out of there, now i’ll never find out how that one love story ended...

But havin...

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(first posted Friday 12th November 2021 11:18 am, RECLAIMING)

Yesterday                       you left me.

Yesterday

The entire earth changed, got smaller, stifling

The light went out in the woods, the warmth went out of the sun, the future went out of all laughter

How could you leave me when you have not been with me?

Do you think my admiration so fleeting that yo...

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Can you say

Can you say you

Can you say you'll

Can we say you'll can we say I'll

oh the westwind gets louder; rising, rising

     'til it shrieks like a terrified woman                                 it liked the attention, and balks that you turned your ship around, left us both

                   we pass lots of sunk boats, they are only ghosts, they don't scare me, don't...

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Yesterday

i went up high, high into the silent forest, all alone, as I do                                               not to tell it to the trees but rather to listen, for they whisper secrets that bring me my peace and my purpose,                       as instructed, i stopped before a large boulder and lifted my closed eyes and arms and raised heart to the sky                     and breath...

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throughout the invisible world

                                       where i exist

       is there much rejoicing, yes, yes there is

i talk it to the trees and through their extensive root system i think they must together shift things around until they go my way, for i am heard in green lush silence

the sun not sick outside my window, but kind, peaceful, consistent, just a little war...

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how drippingly delicious are words melted over with wordplay, riddles wrapped enigma style in plain sight

                      sure i make it up, most of it, an old woman by the sea, dancing, dreaming, letting go

                             closing in or circling round, years i prance around in celebratory circles near the sea; doesn't matter where i start always I round around back to you...

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I want to tell you that I don't still love you

                           I want to say I have moved on, found love, healed up and lifted away

all true or

        some except you still pound inside my heart, a soft essence that spurs me on; also keeps me wary

it is so hard to trust any man that comes towards me i am always dodging and disappearing dimly

             full o...

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There is a man

                 who knew all about the birds at the museum; an x falconer called away to his sons perhaps

in my poems, in my little corner of this sunny bird-filled hill, i can follow any pull that calls me

                allowing all means all 

                                        alll in for all love

My son scolds me i do not see myself clearly, know ...

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You mustn't wish me

                                  to deny my love when love asks naught of you, you mustn't

it willnot cannot wonnot matter anyway either way

                                       but you mustn't anyway

                                                 because on a realm high between there is a space

                                                               ...

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Not wicked,

    never say wicked, do not say so

                          for how could any yearn so sweet, so lovely and loving, admiring, kind, how could any love be so? not wicked, love, say not so, not wrong, not bad, not evil, not a sin, not unforgivable

                                   just unfortunate

           winner takes it all, and the other is left on a greek hill in the...

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You save me from myself again and again

                   there is no point in plotting, planning, tricking, trying so hard not to love you; when I just love 

                                     i just do

I know i know i deeply know you are in the arms of another, staying, warm and could NOT be happier, I know i know        and yet you feed my soul, your goodness feeds my very essence n...

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Light breaks brilliantly here, even without the thunderstorms i miss in my very bones,                   the sound of the rain supersedes the incessant chatter which isn't always speaking truth,                             music does that, too

                       nothing else can get in when the music or the nature sings so beyond the beautiful beckoning melody is the absence of all else imp...

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I

am one

Stunningly surprised.

Shocked at the casual cruelty, surprised at selfish scintillating celebrations of self circles. Amazed a human could ask another for something real

Then

when it's gifted, at great cost, turn a back and pretend to never have asked, Make up stories of blamelessness. Lash out.

what have I ever done but love? bitterly & joyfully, both all...

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Diminishing light

                Dusk expected 

you don't have to do that anymore

The Pier doesn't close to you it fell into the ocean

there are 1 million hearts beating and many of them beat warmly, you don't have to try to shut any down beat, 

I am a Pisces and I live by the water. We ebb with the flow, splash past the lapping and do not hold tight to any anchor, perhap...

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To admit

that i am so very glad you were born, you exist, you create art, you were adored once, too

does not weaken my barricades

they are made of shells and stone, whitewashed by the sea and do not fall easily

They teach

as does solitude, and celibacy, and planting a garden, sometimes sanity is in the eye of the beholder alone, we are all called to god in a different mann...

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Lifted out of myself

                                 and looking down

see everything as it numbs, spreads, fractals

i used to not live in these spirals anymore yet fortitude is not a given and falling down is not a lack of fortitude.         now i live here where it never rains to cleanse me the way i need, unknown, as the world is coated with the sleazy oils of greasy cash, slimy s...

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Never never never again 

Nor ever

not one drop, one glimpse, one glimmer

bright beauty needs no amplification, authentic souls need no gilding; true and deep speaks for itself, knows no glorification, cannot even recognize gilded glory

C'est fini 

      never is also for forever 

Dance, fly, leap, crawl, dance away villian 

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With deep gratitude 

      With deep reverence 

in deep remembering 

I burst with all the universes within me, tender, raw

       How joyful to be so stunningly incorrect  

completely illogical yet such love is not to be denied, must be honored in whatever form it chooses for itself 

who am I to deny being cherished?

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You aren’t mine

Perhaps you never were

I didn’t dream you; I saw love in you, heard it, felt it, answered it

perhaps it was never me, perhaps you always loved another

   putting your heart back in order, 

                  i was a pretty face you enjoyed watching dance in the storming rain

        but maybe that’s all

everything else was a dream

four l...

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all is different now. 

The body is created and can withstand only so much

                   until a breaking point is reached

                                     and   then 

the body either ceases to be, is not to be, or the being inhabiting the body chooses an armor of   

        their choice and making, created

                                 to deflect horror, agony, u...

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flowing 

        one into the next, without ceasing

endless cycles of water

       pool then flow then drip then cease then cascade into a momentous waterfall

over the edge of the cliff

Always 

I am certain

It’s finally done

Never

It is

I can’t pretend to have one inkling of understanding

      amidst a million theories

I argue a lot and oft...

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Usually this weekend is putting up a tree, outside decorations, last vestige of summer life packed up to prepare for endless bitter cold

Not this year, nor last, …. nor next?

I eat in another kitchen, meet interesting people, chat, engage, charm, fun warmth and also so happy to come home to quiet beauty and music

Tried once to run away west from family but as the one strong...

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words words don’t or won’t make due with progressing, words cannot sum up what I keep trying to say

   when words do, I will stop filling endless poetry books, my poetry will cease 

        for you were the wellstone

               which started this torrent up that day

though now they fail me

what I mean is: calling out to me in the dirty boulevard, it echoes differently in on...

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Do you know who you are?

I see who you are but is it the part you keep hidden from everyone else?

You see who I am but it is the part I keep hidden from everyone else

       and you just saw me, you saw me so clearly and sang me out to the brilliant blue sky for all the forest to hear

         how could any girl not be in love then? in a flash when you spoke your name?

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Then who is this person I love so deeply

                              if it’s not you?

I come home, take a breath, slow down, and always, always involuntarily think of you, wonder, flicker of a thought and I feel safer, better, warmer knowing you exist out there somewhere, 

loving on another, i know that’s wrong, inaccurate, odd, unhealthy, denialism

                      ...

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How he misses, stones that are small, he says, how I miss you!

              What if it was me? What if he missed me? I don’t allow myself ever even the thought but in a poem -- what if it was me? Oh the joy, even the birds would be singing their circular tunes in each wind blown dancing tree

What if I was closing in on something, silent, unspoken, unsung, 

        as all my primor...

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The wilds of that other ocean                              

                                             remind me of your voice

So I know

                I can’t ever be invited there

                                                    I have only ever seen you sing or make jewelry or rescue boats        or strut

I have never seen you loving on me, us a pair, so I cannot quite...

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poetry in search of a home            evicted from all warm comfy writing corners             without books unfilled for they’ve all been put away, put up, shuttered, if you will                              with no willing muse to outshine all adversity                      all inclusive of even base reality
 

i sneak in here, in the early morning prelight, crawl under the table armed with a ...

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