Poetry Blog by Natfastic

The Experiment

For too long I have

never let people down

so I'll let you down.

The experiment.


For years now I have

made no mistakes

so I'll make mistakes.

The experiment.


I have become rigid

a bore and a fool.

I have blindly followed

rule after rule.

I have betrayed my own

instincts for you.

Let you convince me

that "no" means I'm cruel.


But no more...

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I Won't Apologise

I won't apologise

for the lies you tell yourself

and the bullshit you believe

and try to heave all over me

and the self respect

I've worked so hard for.

I won't apologise -

even when your cries whine

and false advertise what

you are really about. And

you can scream and shout

until every mountain from

here to kingdom come 

crumbles for all I care.

I know wh...

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Sneaky fuckers

Coming in through the backdoor

with fake makeshift keys

you left me uneasy.


In a house thats my home

that I've worked hard for

feeling safe no more.


It's the lingering you left

sneaky fuckers.


Upping the security wont remove it,

will be expensive and a chore -

and I shouldn't have to but


Such are the times.

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Drama Queen

The Drama Queen is grand 

but sneaky and subtle under

her ruffles. She turns off her

ears when hearing evidence

contrary to her stomping

ideals. Sits on thrones of

ignorance and finger pointing,

behind backs of pauperish

vulnerability. Whispers in 

palace corridors causing

havoc. Power and bigotry. 

Diamonds and pearls. 

Black teeth and lace. 


I think sh...

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We each opened wounds

that had festered and never

been dressed. We held

each other in the torrent

and the thick of it - like an

anchor. And when it passed

so did we too. Splitting;

metal wrenched and hardened. 

'Til drifting along different 

equators we let down in 

continents apart. Without

a piece of our hearts.

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It must have felt, to you,

like I stole something

from under your bed

or the boot of your car.

Control is like a drug

driving everything,

shooting everyone

and only reviving

those that take it in

correct doses. Hard 

work weighing those

packages, distributing to

only those I trust and 

know can handle it's

potency. I built up my

knowledge and resistance


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Endings affect.

Not just the person deciding 

on or coming to the end. It can

stir up all sorts in those perhaps 

encountering many ends or 

coming to a close. But you can't 

pretend or not end an end just to 

try and bend their endingness 

into something other, or to mend

their feelings. Though I wish I could, 

when this ending to me feels good. 


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What if there's nothing wrong with either of us,

just playing out patterns.


What if there's nothing wrong with either of us,

just playing out patterns.


Playing out patterns.

Playing out patterns.






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I feel you

People make me doubt you.

People make me doubt you.

People make me doubt you

but I feel you.


People make me doubt you.

People make me doubt you.

People make me doubt you

but I feel you.


And I know that I can't find a reason

and I know that I can't comprehend

and I know that I can't make much sense

with my mind.


Though I love

and I find

and I...

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I'm bored of my own voice. 



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Recent Comments

Maki on I Won't Apologise (14 days ago)

Martin Elder on Drama Queen (Sun, 28 Jan 2018 06:00 pm)

Graham Sherwood on Anchor (Thu, 25 Jan 2018 10:42 am)

Douglas MacGowan on Control (Fri, 19 Jan 2018 09:23 pm)

Rose Casserley on Transition (Fri, 5 Jan 2018 08:38 pm)

Patricia and Stefan Wilde on Transition (Thu, 4 Jan 2018 07:33 pm)

Artur Hulboj on Boundaries (Mon, 25 Dec 2017 01:48 am)

LEON STOLGARD on Desperate (Thu, 7 Dec 2017 07:15 pm)

David Taylor-Jones on Unconditional Positive Regard (Sat, 25 Nov 2017 07:33 am)

Cynthia Buell Thomas on Unconditional Positive Regard (Fri, 24 Nov 2017 09:13 pm)

Trevor Alexander on Strangers (Tue, 7 Nov 2017 03:25 pm)

220August on Strangers (Mon, 6 Nov 2017 09:21 pm)

220August on Here and Now (Mon, 6 Nov 2017 02:46 pm)

Rose Casserley on Faith (Fri, 27 Oct 2017 12:36 am)

Jon on Here and Now (Sun, 15 Oct 2017 04:25 pm)


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