Tags from last 12 months

Christmas (1) family (1) remember (1)

Divorce

They battle.

Kids in the middle.

Swords drawn,

Jousting parents.

Children crying,

Caught in the middle, 

Lovers tiff,

Family rift, 

Place of pain,

Divorce. 

Gone.

Still fighting,

Still battling,

No agreement, 

No rest bite,

Kids a weapon.

Mass destruction.

Can't save them.

Parents scar them.

Divorce ruins them,

Trust betrayed. 

Love lo...

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Divorce

Girl in the Spotty Dress

Little girl in the spotty frock, 

Did she love you then or not?

 

What did you do to make it change?

Why were you so very strange?

Why did you not do as you're told? 

Always needed an extra scold. 

Never behaved at home or school,

Always the one who acts the fool. 

Never able to conform,

Always the one full of scorn.

 

Still the girl in the spotty frock?

Does...

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Parentssadchildhoodbipolar

The Room

The Room 

 

It's smaller on the inside,

Come and be my guide.

The lock shrinks the place, 

to such a tiny space.

The space is retreating,

It stops your heart beating,

Room starts swimming,

Constricting air thinning.

Can't help feeling sickly,

I need to get out quickly,

It constricts your chest 

Lead weight thermal vest.

Sweat covers my brow,

Need to get...

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Mental healthanxietyclaustrophobia

The Bitch

She saunters about,

Her nose raised in superiority.

Peacock, proud and arrogant,

Strutting around,

 lethal with spite,

Spitting her viscous venom,

Wounds cut deep,

Lashed by her tongue,

Her actions grind others down.

Whip to spur them on,

Beaten brows cry out.

No autonomy,

Trust stolen,

Integrity lost,

Freedom withdrawn.

Her senseless cunning,

Enslav...

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One man and his dog.

There is a musky smell, warm and welcoming, like the smell of damp dog. The hoof prints leave a breadcrumb trail to see where the wandering goats have hidden. Tiny cloven feet, so dainty they grip on to steep slopes, trip trap along the rocky mountain side.

 

He stands watching them through his steamy spectacles.  The ferocious biting wind sears his aged skin, his wiry black beard protects m...

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Dog

The Path

She saunters along the empty path,Blossom swoops to kiss her in the wind. It's gentle touch, a starlit lover, warms her hollow heart. She felt the breath of a thousand souls caress her once innocent skin, now gently wizened by the years gone by. Each step her troublesome bones feel the rough and rugged ground clawing at her steps to slow her further. The aches in her rickety joints pull her down. ...

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sadness

What can you see?

What is a disability?

Is it there for all to see? 

Do they look a little special,

Or just a bit like me. 

Maybe there is a wheel chair,

Crutches or a splint.

What about the eye patch?

Is there just a little hint?

 

What about that limp he has?

Or the crooked looking stance?

Some just look so ordinary.

They can even dance.

Some they think imagine it,

disabi...

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bipolarmental healthPsychosis

Medication that's what I need

I slip one in my mouth,

It melts. 

Delicious. 

I lick strawberry lips.

Kissed by magic.

It takes away my pain,

Senses numbed. 

Nothing seems to matter. 

Apathy takes a hold. 

25mg maximum dose.

Is it working?

I have no clue.

I have lost my inner self. 

I don't want to feel the pain,

But without it there's no escape. 

I want to taste the rainbow,

To r...

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Medicationbipolardepressionpschosis

My Old Dog

She is 17 years old,

How many dog years is that?

She is grey around the muzzle.

Very little body fat.

Chicken carcass fills her skin,

So fragile and so weak.

Blind blue opaque eye,

Her temperament so meek. 

She sleeps stretched out,

Small brittle arthritic bone.

She twitches as she sleeps,

Time left now is life on loan.

She sleeps so soundly,

this warm summer...

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Animalfriendshippetsdog

Baby

Made from love of two,
Stork delivery nearly due.
Inside something special grows,
Takes a while before it shows.
Tiny, magical, growing at first,
Later months it nearly bursts.
Wriggling butterflies flutter inside,
Not long ago a beautiful bride.
Tiny booties from clicking pins,
Little kicks bring tiny grins.
Peers inside all black and white,
Check on what's out of sight.
Growing belly...

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Babylovedgrandchildparentpregnant

Knock knock...

Knock knock...
It's the door.
Don't come to the house,
Invasion not wanted!
Heart pounding, 
Shaking chest.
Discussion not needed.
Privacy counts. 
Sweating palms,
beaten brow.

Knock knock...
It's the door. 
Keep away 
allow freedom.
Blind with panic
Screams deathly quiet.
No need for checking on.
Perfectly capable self.

Knock knock...
It's the door.
Tension of a coiled spr...

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Mental healthpsychosisvisitorsbipolar

For a Friend

I think life should be about caring, loving and trusting. 
We should follow a life where we give what we can to others.
Not money but love, faith and understanding.
When friends are in their dark space we would shine out our torch of hope, 
Provide an ear to help them cope. 
Listen when they talk, 
take time not to judge. 
We should be better at listening, 
Not pushing our views. 
We shou...

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Friendship

Sunny Days

I don't feel worthy of this earth.
It's a bright and happy day today. 
I feel a fraud amongst it all.
As kids and parents play. 
Sandcastles, colourful buckets and plastic spades, 
Happy laughter fills the air. 
Desperate darkness clouds it. 
There is no point, no joy, no end,
I am hollow and so void. 
I smile and wave and look the part,
Each photo frames the day. 
Behind the mask the c...

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Sadnesssunshinelonelymemories

Take Steps

Don't worry if the path you travel is crooked, 
your destination is not clear, 
the turns you make misguided,
the route a little obscured. 
Each step you chose to wander, may be a step too far,
but the journey shapes your future and makes you what you are. 
Past steps they are not wasted, they shaped your inner soul. 
They led you to your future, 
guided an inner goal. 
Every inch is wort...

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Inspirationmental health

The Mules

I am sorry she feels so angry,
She tried to let it go, 
It's all in the past now,
But all she's done is grow. 

The memories sit beside her,
Dark pain silently crushes
Nothing to break the fear,
Screams no one will hear. 

Remember stinging legs,
Red and raw as silk,
Smacked and beaten badly,
Long gone the mothers milk. 

Why did you do it child?
You always break the rules.
Simply...

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child abusedomestic violence

The Shed

Mummy please...
Mummy please don't lock the door.
The anxiety grows inside me.
I know I have been here before. 
The smell of soil and potting,
The stench of old manure. 

I feel the darkness bite me,
Draw blood from frightened veins,
I scratch to stop me crying,
It helps to ease the pain. 
Space creeps tight around me,
squeezing out my breath. 

Perfectly perfumed petrol 
I gently t...

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The Exam

It's silent.
Just the cogs turning,
They look so puzzled.
Why didn't they study?
Why did they mess around?
Why didn't they care?

They're disaffected. 
They hate it all. 
Why didn't teachers care?
Why did schools mistreat them?
Why should they really care?

It is silent.
One clearly tries,
Success is what he needs. 
What has changed this year?
Why has he done so well? 
Why now be...

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Teachercolleague

Preacher - Are you there?

The preacher man was there.
Advising, guiding providing prayer.
He keeps himself hidden away
Wise words from him today.
The better place he beckons me to 
transcendent mythical city for few.
His heaven is closer dragged in. 
Going along he can never win. 

He isn't there 
He is no where
He is strong
He is right

I am weak
I am lost
I am gone
I am here

The preacher man was there...

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Mental healthvoicesPsychosis

Numb

Once a darkness wrapped her soul,
A willow weeping, a devoid whole. 
Stole her hope, her pride, her lust. 
Pain twisted taking trust. 

She wandered vulnerable but free,
Deathly pale but not drug free. 
Chemically calmed, sedated, numb.
The only way to cope for some. 

Twisted visions of the truth,
Forever lost beauty and youth.
Broken wings no longer fly. 
Long ago she prayed to die....

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Vulnerablemental illness

Believe

There are challenges we face that others don't see,

may never experience, never understand.

Invisible mountains we climb alone,

oceans we swim feeling out of our depth.

But we do it. We fight it. We beat it.

Mental health recovery is a journey,

a destination that requires focus, bravery and time.

For all those who face it every day...

believe.

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Mental healthrecoverybipolarparanoid schizophrenia

Pay the price

Hospitals full 
No beds for care,
Government money 
All too rare.

Dementia patients left to cope
Danger, stranger, lost all hope.
Children waiting months to see,
Counsellors to set them free. 

Schizophrenia, write them off
No one really gives a toss. 
Benefits the only way,
Stop them having any say. 

Depression that's just a joke,
Just a crushing wall of smoke,
Watch it take yo...

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depressionmadnessNhs

The Waiting Room

Sat here waiting
Stupid posters on the wall
Like knowing 1/4 matters
Mental health for all. 

The chairs are stained and dirty,
Water fountain broke,
Magazines outdated.
Even leaflets on a stroke. 

The receptionist she mumbles,
Or is it the glass screen,
Protects her from the patients, 
Ring bells - they are unclean.

Mental or a leper,
It really doesn't matter.
You're all in thi...

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bipolardepressionmental healthpsychosis

Poison Fairies

She waltzed amongst the roses,

Tiptoed upon the thorns

wrapped herself in petals,

Avoiding skin like nettles.

 

He was poison ivy,

Prickly like holly,

Poison berry kisses,

Cupid's arrow misses.

 

They wandered through the gardens

Creeping ivy binds them.

United by deadly nightshade,

Their home a fairy glade. 

 

Babies fed with seed pods,

Rosary pea a...

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Fairymagicpoison

Staple Gun Lover

The bitch is dead.

Spewing hatred from her empty eyes.

She fought back,

Skin under her broken nails,

She never suspected him.

Her beautiful lover boy.

His deathly kiss,

He pinned her to the wall,

Staple gun kisses,

Fastened her down,

Tight as a lover's arms.

She fell for his charms.

Smeared bloody lipstick stuck to his face,

Deathly bite holding its place.

...

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Deathmurderadultery

Written Off

Your a Kraken, a gorgon, a monster.

You don't bite,

It's not even spite.

You maybe don't know the damage you do.

Screwed over, discriminated against, scrap.

That's what I am. 

Scrap.

My life is crap.

I can't prove them wrong,

It's stolen away.

No chance of change.

Never mind - I am mad anyway.

Who gives a toss?

I am really no loss.

No one will even notice,

...

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mental healthdiscrimination

Perfect Pair

 

His lardy arse 

Melts over the chair.

He sweats and drips 

Greasy body hair.

It's sad to think 

He was once so fit.

Muscular, tidy,

Still a bit of a prick.

He used to love her,

His clever cow,

Snobby and prim,

So much better than him.

She broke him down, 

Belittled him.

Together once perfect,

Now don't fit.  

Damaged each other.

It wasn't qui...

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Little Red Rabbit

He dressed her in velvet,

His little rabbit.

He coveted her sweetness.

She was his drug habit.

 

Bloody kisses  bite her lip

But it's ok, he loves her right?

His perfect partner, perfect wife,

Slap her nearly every night.

 

Takes her out in his expensive gift.

He chose it, she must wear it,

She feels embarrassed, tarted up,

Don't say it, touch-paper lit.

 

...

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Violence domestic abuse control

The Sand Man

She could never get her hair to stay,

Even curled and covered in spray. 

Yet now it's stuck and clings in waves,

Hidden deathly shallow graves. 

 

Blood like wax holds lashes down,

Deathly beauty hides her frown,

Her sadness gone, her fear too,

Her twisted leg and broken shoe.

 

The chase was over, her killer won,

Smashed her face in, just for fun,

He posed her ...

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Murder death love

Lost

I can't find it anywhere,

It's gone, disappeared,

Hidden somewhere dark.

 

I looked amongst the books,

I searched the internet,

I even checked the fridge.

 

I don't know where I put it,

I tried to keep it safe,

I don't remember where it is.

 

People have helped me look,

First a lady doctor,

Then a psychiatrist.

 

The CPN, she looked around,

She ev...

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mental health issues

Not all Monsters have Fangs

Children are scared of monsters,

They hide beneath their beds,

Boogie men and spiders, 

dogs and dark and snakes.

 

Their fears are not unfounded,

But monsters rarely crawl,

Don't have fangs or claws.

But susceptible they fall.

 

She stood her in the corner,

She beat her to black and blue.

She told her that she loved her;

It simply wasn't true.

 

She he...

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Monster cruelty abuse sadness childhood

The Dead Dolls

She sat amongst her dollies

Hair all chopped and matted

their legs broken battered,

Biro on each painted face.

The fingers bitten off,

Spat out and thrown away.

Their toes all flat and mangled,

Their eyes poked closed and gone.

Each one no more a beauty,

Each one now dead and gone.

 

She did it as a child 

To each and every toy.

Her mummy used to smack her,

...

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Killersmurdermutilationdeathserial killersdoll maker

The Nail Bar

I was chatting to a lady,

In a seedy, smelly bar.

When she told me of her worries

That would best be in a jar.

 

It wasn't chat from alcohol,

acetone her vice;

Filed and painted nails,

Pretend to make her nice.

 

She described a bad life,

Caring for her dad,

Feeding him and coping,

She seemed so very sad.

 

She spoke as if I knew her,

Lonely, sad and...

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Stranger sadness everyday life

Whitby Abbey

The lava sky burning into my pale white skin. 

The breath of the wind kissing my neck,

stumbling barely breathing,

Held within the abandoned abbey. 

 

Sacred ground grabbed my feet,

grass like witches fingers,

tangled bloodied toes, 

tripping me, holding me, binding me.  

 

Scarlet volcanic madness crushing,

Changing and evolving,

Every step dragging me back.

...

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Whitby vampires Dracula

Say Yes to the Dress

 

Is it the one?

Do you say yes?

Will you chose it? 

Is it your dress?

 

Are you Cinderella?

Will you crash and burn?

Marrying the wrong man?

Will you ever learn?

 

I think I'll try another one.

Maybe fit and flare?

He cheated once

would he ever dare?  

 

Maybe a vintage dress?

You're living in the past.

It used to be good,

But will it alway...

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Wedding dress love TV realistic world

Michelle

Heaven needs a glitter ball.

There will be dancing there.

Your smile will light the sky,

As you look down on us all.

 

Don't forget your flip flops. 

Angels wear them now,

Ankle bracelets, toe rings,

No need for halos now.

 

Don't be sad to look back,

Your memories are our gold.

Locked forever in our hearts,

Always close at hand. 

 

Michelle's memories ...

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Gone too soon death

Love

What is true love?

Fierce, passionate and enduring.

Is it best friends holding hands,

Chatting till dawn,

Laughing and smiling,

Sharing adventures, exploring the world?

Does it feel like satin kissing my skin,

Velvet lining my veins,

Wrapping its silk around my heart,

Catching my breath?

 

What is true love?

Fast, forever and faithful.

Is it holidays and sand...

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Love true love

My Way

It's been quieter, 

Not lonely, 

Just quieter. 

I can feel the calm. 

Can find myself.

I can sleep soundly,

Thats true. That's ironic.

 

They're still there, 

When I am angry;

When I am stressed;

When they push me. 

I am still sad. 

 

Coping, praying, waiting.

Don't get angry. 

Think outside your head,

Awake and dreaming. 

Meditate. 

 

Pu...

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Bipolar psychosis madness drugs

The Preacher

The dark man walks beside me. 

I can tell that from his voice. 

He used to be a preacher.

He says it's not a sin to die,

That God knows why. 

 

He makes me not feel frightened.

He tells me of a peace.

Tranquil like in heaven,

Release from screams and shouts. 

 

I like it when the preacher comes.

He makes a choice seem right. 

He makes me see the darkness as a...

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suicide bipolar psychosis

Rest

 

"You just lie and rest"

They say he lies like the rest.

Your meds make you feel like dying - 

DO IT;

Take the rest. 

 

Do the world a favour,

What use are you now?

Bow out nice and graceful,

That always draws a crowd. 

 

To speak, I slur and drool,

Laughing stock it makes me.

You will never teach again,

Better in a hole. 

 

Wrap me safe in satin...

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suicide bipolar psychosis

The Whispering Winds

 

It's not the whispering winds.

The silent sleepers creep around.

They speak so loud, so proud.

Speak broken promises, 

Truths I can't believe. 

Are they there beside me. 

I can't feel their breath but they are there.

Clear as day,

Dark as my heart.

They surround me -

Killers, crazed, wize,

forecasting the future

Whilst foretelling the past. 

Splashing, s...

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Psychosis voices bipolar

Laughter

It's raining and cold

Tears from heaven.

Hell on earth here in my bed.

They don't leave my side,

Hanging on tight. 

Eyes tightly closed,

Pretend they're not there. 

Count them away, 

Ten, nine, eight,

Laughing again. 

Dawn arrives it worse this time.

Now I can't see them.

I know they're not there.

So why are they laughing?

I am trying my best. 

Can't ke...

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Psychosis bipolar

Screams

Darkness, full of screams,

Daylight brings whispers.

Rustling papers, changing the rules.

I can't see them but they are there. 

Constant. 

I can't escape. 

They tell me how. 

I don't want to listen,

Just close it down. 

Take it away, make it calm down. 

No one can stop this,

It's all my fault.

Not worth the effort. 

I've ruined it all. 

Can't love me enoug...

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Psychosis bipolar

Magic Spells

First they scream.

There silent whispers fill the room,

Hiding from others,

Bouncing around.

 

I told you not to do it. 

It's all your fault.

You just can't manage -

Not cope at all. 

 

Worthless fool, 

Step away, admit defeat.

They all know. 

You can't hide. 

You know we are here. 

 

Never far away, sleeping screams.

Darkened echoes. 

Little w...

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Bipolar psychosis madness drugs

Let's Play Pretend

 

Let's play pretend.

Let's pretend we know who we are,

Where we have been, 

What we have seen.

Let's play pretend. 

 

Let's pretend we care about life,

That we care for ourselves.

Dress up, 

Make up,

Cock up.

 

Face the facts it's all a farce,

Life is not what we see. 

Life is darkness

Black

Gone.

 

I can play pretend - 

I am ok. 

I a...

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Bipolar depression sadness masked

Peaceful Escape

Escape

 

Relax, close your eyes,

Feel the waves wash over your toes,

The kiss of the ocean,

The touch of the sand. 

 

Relax, it's almost time,

Let it escape,

Breathe it away. 

Don't worry anymore. 

 

Peaceful.

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Depression bipolar hopeless alone

The Masquerade Party

 

The room is full but I am all alone.

Wrapped in cold loneliness,

A noisy silence burns my soul. 

Under the mask I softly cry. 

 

They want to talk to me,

I want to die. 

Invisible, disinterested

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Bipolar depression sadness

Charisma

It's empty.

It's all gone. 

It's just a hole.

A vast gap where I used to be. 

My sparkle seeped away. 

Fizzled out. 

 

It's empty.

It's all gone.

It's just me now. 

Nothing to like at all anymore.

No charisma or charm.

Just a void. 

 

It's empty.

It's all gone.

It's just sadness.

Everyone is sad for a moment. 

Then I am not missed at all. 

I...

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Depression bipolar black dog

The Black Dog

He sits by my side.

He is loyal. 

Always there but so disobedient. 

I want him to go away. 

He looks at me. Is it devotion?

I am devoid of emotion. 

He is so black; he absorbs my life. 

His breath on my neck. 

Colder than death.

His weight on my shoulders. 

He holds me down. 

I need to escape. To run free alone. 

He is too loyal; I am his home. 

He is inside ...

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Depression black dog bipolar

Goodbye

'Goodbye'

 

It hangs in the air. 

So quiet, so final. 

You don't always know what to say. 

The words are not enough. 

The heart strings sing,

for all their worth.

A song of sad farewell. 

 

'Goodbye'

 

Until we meet again. 

So sweet, so kind. 

They're the words you have to say. 

Heard for just a second.

Pure love is sweet,

perfect and pure,

eve...

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Grief death bereavement consolation

The Seed

 

It's there forever in your heart.

A tiny seed of joy. 

Your hopes and dreams 

and plans and schemes.

A future gone so fast. 

Stolen, taken, empty now. 

 

An ocean of tears to sail. 

A storm inside with crashing waves,

Tossed and turned 

and crashed and burned. 

Heart forever broken. 

Time will heal, it's no big deal. 

 

6 years on it's still the same....

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Baby loss bereaved

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