Poetry Blog by Kimberly Ray (2016)

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Release

Reaching out for your touch 

Get close enough 

Then let go 

Come and go 

Oh, just let go

Come and go 

Oh, just let go

 

No one gets close to you

Pour out everything 

Let them in

Then let 'em go

Oh, just let go

Come and go 

Oh, just let go

 

Dreams and visions of a better way

Songs and words just a breath away

Following the path then get brushed...

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Circles

Turn left, turn right, turn off the light

This keeps me awake through the night

Live the dream and fight the fight


I’m lost inside from your signals

Stuck in translation doing circles

Can you steer this thing back into neutral? 

 

Need to unlock this mystery

This old story between you and me

I’ve been searchin’ for all the answers

And lately nothing else matters

...

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Build Me Up

Build me up

Then destroy my ground

Thought I found a friend

But you put me down

 

Oh how love can push you around

It’s easier when love can’t be found

‘Cause losing love just ain’t that cool

You’ve been dealt a hand then played a fool

 

Oooooh, there’s not a lot that you can say

To make it better til you say you’ll stay

Oooooh, there’s not a lot that you can say

...

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One Reason

Just give me one good reason

Give me one reason to smile tonight

Just give me one good reason

Give me one reason to smile tonight

Cause I can’t do with you

Do without you by my side

So just give me one good reason

Give me one reason to smile tonight

 

You’ve been gone so long

But my heart’s still holding on

You say look past the pain

But the pain demands to be f...

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Without You

I've been up

And I’ve been down

I needed you there

Couldn't be found

 

Now the tables are turned

The flame's lost its burn

And I'm moving on without you

Alone

 

Without you, I must go

Without you, I rise above

Without you, I must go

Without you, I rise above

 

Life's not easy on your own

You need someone to call your own

Looked around and you were...

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No Luck

I blame myself for tryin' too hard

Am I playing with all the right cards?

I want to be more than friends

Where's the line to where it begins?

 

Cuz I’m left so unsure

It's all been a hazed out blur

I’m trapped inside of what may be

Inside my head it's you with me

 

I’m digging myself deep into dirt

‘Cause everything’s more than a flirt

Just don’t look at me that...

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Love Lost

The feeling of love lost and remembered

Glad to have had it

Sad to have lost it

Sometimes it's just a feeling to get me through another day

Help me get along the way

Others want to know it

It’s out there if you can find it

Just a feeling, I know

But it goes to show

Love can find its way

 

I knew when I met you we would get along

But not for too long

Unsure wh...

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Heartbeats a flutter

Heartbeats a flutter

Hundreds of thoughts a minute

But not a word can I say

Wrapped up in this mess

Sitting across from you

Just inches away

Sitting counting the beads wrapped around my wrist

This is killing me

Make a move

Or don’t

Say something

To prove

There’s a reason why we’re here

 

There’s a reason why but what’s the use

No point in letting it loo...

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Deep in Thought

Dreams last for so long

So I’m reaching out for something new

Eyes fell upon you when you came into view

Now I’m stuck in what to do

 

I'm hiding behind the wall for something new

Waiting for something true

Days go by, my mind is stuck on you

I get lost in your eyes

Your words they disguise

I’m deep in thought on every account about you

 

Getting lost and feelin...

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Reading Between the Lines

We're choking on the words

Not saying much of anything

Every hint of insinuating more

It's not enough anymore

I want to give you so much more

 

You've got me reading between the lines

There's been something on your mind

Watching the time pass on by

Not going anywhere

Hanging by a thread

Craving more if you dare

 

All I've got are these words

It’s more than...

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Black hole

Spiraling down a black hole

No way out and

No way to return to where I’ve come from

Sucked in by the force

Matter all around

Disappearing

Dissolving

 

I’ve seen and

experienced all that I need to.

I’m going through without any regrets,

Not looking back.

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Push and pull

A reoccurring dream of another lover,

Of anyone but you.

It’s always the chase,

A high,

To be loved, seduced, wanted

By anyone that can be intimate in a way that you can’t provide.

There must be so much more to life that I’m missing.

 

I push you away for a reason.

And then there’s the force that pulls us back together,

If only for a moment.

Is that how it’s suppos...

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Flame

You’re my flame

I can feel you

You’re in my veins

 

Causing me panic

Thoughts racing

Will I see you again

 

You burst in and out

Like a blazing glory

Smoke rises from ashes

You won’t go away

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Meet me in the rain

Meet me in the rain

So I can explain

The sun’s gone

And it’s been too long

 

I look at your pictures on the wall

I shouldn’t keep them up for too long

I miss the sound of you down the hall

So I avoid the sound of you at all

 

It’s as if the flood gates of heaven opened up from God’s weeping

Deep down I know it wasn’t you I should be keeping

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A Penny For Your Thoughts

Am I wasting all my words on you?

Am I wasting all my energy into a void with no clear path through

To a place with deep meaning and resolution?

Am I doing all this for my own understanding?

Thoughts collide from one piece of my mind to another

This is all unknown to my lover

If these thoughts ever surfaced, I’d be in anguish

There’s a life he’s never known

So much left in ...

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Sixth sense

I sensed your presence before you ever saw me

I sensed your nearness every day since

I can’t be here without thinking of you

I get by and yet I don’t

I try not to think about it

And then you seep into the corners of my mind

Blast your presence

Then fade away

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Face the music

I pressed on

Faced the challenge

Saw your smile

And I felt nothing

No joy

No pain

No love

Only the regret that I gave you more than you ever deserved

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Traveling on

Cleaning out the cobwebs in the corners of my head

Blocking out temptations of you in my bed

Gotta get you out from the darkness of my mind

For something better this life will find

What I need right now is some focus

Not some bullshit hocus pocus

 

So i’m traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling on

I’m traveling, traveling, traveling, traveling on

Yes, I’m traveling, t...

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Angry Beast

I don't know where to start

These feelings in my heart

I keep haven't been able to release

These feelings rise but get trapped like a beast

 

I want to show you my world from within

The scenery is changing

The door’s knocking

I want you to come in

 

Let it out, You know I should

Let it out, If only I could

Let it out, You know I should

Let it out, If only I c...

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It's all good

Don't know what it all means
But I'm sure that everything will be OK.
It wasn't so bad I know that.
They say, "The darkest light is before the dawn,"...
"And the cold comes through like rain,"...
"And I could see forever."

Sometimes I used to act like God.
What would life be like if I were dead?
What would life be like?
Would it be any better than this?

Now I realize that life is worth l...

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Oh happy day

I was a happy child once
With the wind in my hair,
The sun was shining and
I was invincible.
There was nothing that could hurt me.
I was free as a bird,
Floating along the wind of my days.
Looking for adventure
I found it deep in the woods
Listening to crickets,
Jumping across waters,
Catching fire flies.
There was nothing better,
For I was invincible.

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Crashing

This is my final farewell
I need to leave 
No need to return 
Tell me how
I want to burn
I want to die
Give me a reason
For this life

So many heartaches
So many headaches
So now I'm here
With all that's gone
And so much unknown

No words
Just sitting and staring at the screen
Hoping for the hour to pass
Another hour after hour
Watching the clock go ever so slowly
But when I ge...

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Hush

My heart aches
And you are too far away
To know these pains
I hush and await the day
In Silence

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What is love

What is love
The highest feeling
of the deepest emotions
Body torn into pieces
Soul feeling as one with the universe
Butterflies in your gut
Life turned upside down
A full moon and star-lit sky
The sun shining on your face
Whispering nothings
Screaming infidelities

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All that remains

The want, the desire, the burning fire

My life, my dreams
It's all about you
You won't go away
All that is left are these words

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Feeling Again

Feeling those feelings again

Taking the knife into my heart again

Where does it come from

Where does it go

What will we do when it's time

To know that you are not mine

To know that I can't save you from your pain

To know that you are the creator of mine

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Let Me Live

Let me live my own fucking life

Leave me alone

Let me live

Let me live

Don't fucking try to tell me how to feel

Why do you feel when I have stopped?

Why do you choose now to let me know

When I have wanted that for the past 5 months

I have wanted something

Now I don't expect it... don't want it, nor need it

You give now?

You give me what I wanted for so long

And ...

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On a winter night

Never had a chance to say goodbye.

Never know where I'm going.

Feels like I'm lost among the path of my life.

Feel like running but I stay.

Why do I stay?

I should go.

I should go and find a better place to be.

What happiness will I find if I leave?

This is all I've ever known.

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Just Be

Fuck you

Fuck me

Fuck this world

And what we believe

Never do the same

Never do the old

Hold the bold in its place

Please, let me touch your face

Let me be the one you crave

Lets escape these miseries

And try to act brave

Even if we can't escape

Just be there when I need you

Just listen when I talk

Just hold me when I cry

Just hold my hand while we walk

...

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Imagine

I wish I could say the words

The way I feel inside

When I see you,

When I hear you speak.

You seem so much like a dream

And so perfect in every way.

I swear no one else could take ur place

If anything ever happened to you...

My soul would die-

I know someday we will kiss

We'll love each other all night long.

Until that day,

We speak of love thats in our hearts

...

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Closer

This heart of mine is in shambles

Piece by piece it crumbles

Longing to be

Closer to thee

Yet the closer I get

I can see the hurt that may come

Along with being with you

How I shall sacrifice my heart

To enjoy your pleasurable company

And to know that the only

Thing to come out of this

Is my broken heart

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Lemonade

As I was sipping my glass of lemonade

I dreamed of yesterday

As I was thinking of you

I knew that it was through

 

How could I have been so ...

How could I have known

That you were the one

To break all my precious bones.

Now all I want is to sit back

And drink my glass of

Lemonade

 

As I was sipping my glass of lemonade

I dreamed of yesterday

As I was t...

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Nights

When nights were young,

When dreams were sung,

When all was in vain,

None was insane.

When all was fallen,

We knew we belonged.

Longing to hear

These words spoken...

'Follow me inside'

Inside where the night is always young.

You whisper in my ear...

How can you feel...

When there's no room and no lights..

When all that is left to feel is inside this moment

...

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Desires

What is it that you desire?

What is it that you want?

Tell me your darkest secret

And I'll light that fire

I'll be all that you desire

Show me what it is that you want

Show me 

Your desire

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Devil dancer

Do you desire

To be burned by the fire?

To have your heart ripped out in pieces?

To have it shoved in your face?

To see your love put down the drain?

To not see what it is that you want?

For all the longing

For all the heartache

Would you dare to risk it all again?

Could you do it all over again?

To play with the fire

To be burned by your desire...

You know how ...

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It's a mystery

And when you leave

How will you feel

All alone

With no one you know

Will you make friends

Or remain a mess

On an island in the sun

I'm hoping for lost souls

Not so much fun I 'spose

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Me

Keeping to myself

Day after day

Trying to remain calm

But I explode.

Is it him or me?

The frustration builds

I can't make it go away

All that remains is me

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Dangerous Intelligence

Dangerously the most intelligent creature in the world

We're too smart for our own good

We humans take things to extreme

We make decisions based on the environment around us

And our volatile emotions

We make irrational decisions knowing

That our actions are not in our best interest

We still choose to sacrifice ourselves

For a loved one, for our beliefs

There is no set pa...

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Traveling down the road of life

Things need to be done

Things need to change

But the problem is knowing where to begin

And how to act during the drive down

And once I'm there, will I be happy?

Will there be another road I'll need to take?

Is life a long road to get to an end?

Or is it an ever changing road?

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Untitled

Dust collects and I don't care

A crack in the wall and I don't care

Dirty laundry on the floor and I don't care

Yet distance grows between us and I can't bare the thought of it

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March 15, 2002

No thoughts

No sound

Just whispering voices

Silence lingers

Lips waiting to move

Heart waiting to feel

Thoughts of you

Yet nowhere to be seen

Empty house

Yet to be filled

Stomach churning

Heart burning

Longing to be

Closer to thee

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Release Me

Wasting affection on you

Love is not returned

Why should I bother

Silly girl I've been for you

Slave to the master of my heart

Break these chains free

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Constant Replay

I've lost all thought

All concentration

It remains with you

A chance encounter

Highlight of the day

Repeating it in my head

Reliving the moment

I shared with you

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Sunday July 14, 2002

What I want you to say

Rather than what comes out

Your words

They mean so much

And yet they are few

When you pour out your soul

You conceive its meaning

You keep it simple

But make it so complex

I'm wanting more,

But keep getting less.

I'm hurting in ways you couldn't understand,

And all I want is to hear more of your words

Telling me it'll be ok, that you ca...

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Motivation

Not motivated at all

By you

By love

By hate

By anything

I feel like I am waiting for something

Something to happen

Someone to rescue me

No one can save you from yourself

Your mind

There is no more desire

No wanting

Just a state of being there

Am I stuck?

Can I get out to find joy?

Does it exist out there or in me?

Is it something to find or to have?

...

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Friday July 12, 2002

How sad am I

No one to hear my plea

No one seems to care

Fully, completely,

Whole-heartedly.

Nothing or no one

seems to stay here

Everything that used to matter,

Everything I loved,

No longer remains.

How sad am I

Here all alone

With no other soul

But my own

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Morning Sun

Morning sun on the rise

Sweetness of you close by

Looking into your big brown eyes

Nothing yet is a great big surprise

Except that you’re still here by my side

 

Years have gone by

And still I can’t hide

That it’s been you on my mind

 

Lingering kiss on my lips

Holding you close to my hips

Feeling you ever so near

 

When you’re in my arms

I feel so clos...

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Puzzle pieces of my heart

I know the puzzle pieces fit

'Cause I've watched them crumble down

If there was ever a desire to heal

From these broken pieces of my heart

I certainly would have walked away by now

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Red in bloom

Endless nights

And the wandering through the texture of your skin

Beautiful colors splashed around these walls

Red in bloom

When exposed is magical and earth-shattering

When forgotten is revengeful

Sullen, sadness, stopped

Wrath and envy

An individualized emptiness

My misfortune

Was never to forget

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Drowning into your possession

I thought you were kind

But I was blind

To see that you only want my body

As they hang from your walls

Your precious decorations

A prize to put on display

 

The way you touch my body

Opens a world I can sink myself into

I've drowned myself into your possession

It's a lovely thing

But, oh, the horror,

I feel I won't be able to escape these chains

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