they may defame me,

they may calumniate,

but they shall never be malignant to you.

because i will forever shield you.

the bastards; they will talk,

but not a word of you,

my perfect blue.

I hear them conversing,

yet i remain impervious.

because you are incandescent,

the light of my life,

and the light of my mistakes.

this bastard; he may talk...

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She sobs,

out in the open,

tears streaming down her face.

not the typical sight you see.

maybe shes hurt

maybe shes sad

maybe shes just crying for the sake of it.

but would you know her story

or the taste of her tears?

maybe salty

maybe sweet.

Here you are, watching

second guessing.

you notice her hair,

her hunched over back,

her kne...

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Broken, Bloody and Bruised.

thats how the woman was left.

so weak and fragile.

nobody there to help.

Shaking, Shuddering and Screaming.

thats how the man had become.

so strong and possesive.

to take control of the woman.

You look at her face

and it tells stories

that would be too gruely to speak.

You look at her bones,

poking out, as she lost so m...

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You ain't ever gonna find her at the bottom of a bottle.

you ain't ever gonna find her in the house.

you may find her in your dreams,

but not for long.

she'll be sat at the edge of your bed,

speaking words you will never hear,

shedding tears you will never see.

maybe, just maybe, its for the better.

you will see signs of her,

you will smell her scent,

you wi...

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The life that flows through your veins

the ones that once held your reins

the life that you once had love

had shattered into dust.

The time that flows

the mind that grows

all of that guilty sorrow

will leave nothing for tomorrow.

you will wake in the morning

grumbling out of bed

you will sleep in the darkness 

with things left unsaid.

you will fee...

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Mother and daughter,

both getting lost

in grey eyes.

The grey eyes

i look into,

are similar to yours,

as we share our eyes.

Our deep dark brown.

mixing with their grey, cold blue.

the same darkness in their faces.

as we fear the pain they bring.

They scream, they shout

goodness they are both so loud..

But anger fills them, as control is all the...

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I stare into those same blizzardeous eyes.

aged now, bloodshot and colder now.

The realisation is disturbing to find.

As he hit and fed from my mothers mind.

I hear her words, she solemnly speaks,

crying about the man that cannot be defeat.

The man that continued to re-populate.

The man that controlled her with love and hate.

A teacher, she yearned to be,

but d...

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I'm more than my body

I promise i have love too

But slowly, my heart is rotting

So what you desire, i give to you.

I wish you could see me

for more than just my behind.

A piece of me slowly dies inside.

I have lost the acknowledgment 

of what true love feels like

As i only feel no judgement

when my words become redundant.

I have a heart

I have a b...

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The girl with the broken dreams

praying not to fall down on her feet

her heart breaking at the seams

The girl that had already died inside

but fighting physically, to stay alive.

She is the girl with the biggest smile,

even while she walks a million miles

just to find her inner child.

on this journey, she stumbles upon something brighter than the sun.

a young c...

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that girl was broken inside

whom she'd been born

death in her eyes.

as she hit that corageous storm.

The same girl you'd see

smiling and laughing,

dancing with glee.

She didnt look the same to me.

Everything changed

as her eyes turned cold

heart laces with stone.

but the monent she closed her eyes,

once again, she died inside.

Her heart became ...

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I fret and fear

as a guilty tear

slips down my cheek

I cannot control or halt

this heartless mold

as a frightened tear

slips down my cheek.

I know its wrong

I know i'm torn

but loving tears

drown my face.

My heart throttles you,

You are a wild delicacy.

I look to you, way too soon

I'm sorry, my dear

This time i fear. 

I shall drow...

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The crisp echo of your voice chewed on

as the bugs, they feast on my brain.

The abyss of what once of yours lay 

crumpled beneath the dirt.

They feast on every memory, 

every sound or warmth of you.

Even as they hit the pieces of pain,

and despair you shattered me with,

they will still know the feeling of your kiss, hold

and the venom you speak of my name

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I may look kind.

I may seem sweet.

But in reality,

I am a beast.

I will torture you,

I will tear your heart,

And if you step too far,

You'll regret the start.

I cannot be loved

I cannot be sweet

Because, seriously

Think realistically,

I am a Beast.

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Am i hallucinating once more?

or did i hear the squeak of a door?

are you here? hovering? listening?

while im thinking, i hear humming

and your voice echoes from the void,

They say im just like you,

i look like you, im smart like you,

and maybe i can connect to you?

But i can feel you, im not afraid.

I knew you'd come back for me someday.

And now your here, ...

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Standing in that summer breeze,

Watching petals, butterflies, and bees

Gentle swaying of the trees 

I'm finally setting you free

So, I held you once,

      I held you twice,

      I held you, in those darkened nights.

      But now, it is time.

Letting that bluish grey sink into my skin

Such contempt and love, deeper than it had ever been

I now free those ey...

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i love your smile

i love your hair, 

i love the way you kiss my collar

as your stubble nips at my neck.

i love the way you laugh

i love the way you talk

i love the way you hold me

even when times are tough

you may never realise

how much i love you

but ill always love you through and through

even when times are tough

and the night is dark

ill ho...

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Scratching, biting, crying

Fear the truth of all fighting

the ruckus bellows in your ears.

and you continue,

scratching, biting, crying. you hear-

voices you have not heard in years.

they are coming for you,

your family that were once your virtue

scratching, biting, crying.

And you will always be like this.

left in the dark, without any truth

every t...

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Let me in.

Let me in.

Let me in.

Open your mind and let me in.

Bring out your feelings and don’t make them thin.

I want your mind,

your soul,

your heart,

I hear them sing.

Each one will be stored

after your finger receives my ring.

Reveal your obsession,

give it growth and manifestation.

Don’t let anyone interfere

and give you oppression and misi...

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Lust is ostracised.

Just two poets

loving at the same rhythm

the beauty in our words

the feeling in our hearts

the love we can comprehend 

something i have pleaded for

for the longest years

to have one so patient

that he will be with me 

through all my years

Our dancing hearts collide,

the beating is synchronised.

this love is new, profound

...

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The woman’s skin is bare

as she lay,

just lay there

waiting,

hands shaking

fear of what is yet to come

warmth envelops her body

as she was lay there

all she did was lay there, just bare

bare skin, bare feet

her body was there for all to see

but shes fighting her fear

fear of intimacy.

we all know how this road goes.

This shouldn't be pa...

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that same frozen blue.

but it is grey in its place.

a mix of a haze 

of grey, blue, green.

ones that looked at me 

with such pride 

such endearment

is now ice cold

and pupils contracted

and the stance you hold

makes me shiver more.

i am not cold

i am afraid.

afraid you will lay those hands

upon my face.

afraid you will let me fall

and leave...

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The coldness of the truth 

seeps deep into my skin

the carcass of what once held life

surging down ,

distraught agony 

as the red pools 

at my fingertips.

did you lose faith in me, my darling?

it always gets worse

at this time of year.

the cacophany 

of what once held

my dreary pain

is no longer.

the tears pour no longer

my heart sheds no fast...

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That everlasting love

will shine so brightly, as you see her dove.

soaring high in that sky

bringing a twinkle to your eyes.

you wont forget her,

as you will feel her embrace

in the morning sun

as the warmth spreads on your skin

you will feel her resemblance 

in the icey snow

as it nips at your fingertips

and you will feel her love

in the night sk...

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addiction runs deep into my veins

its carvings forever on the walls.

drowning in its own dignity

gasping, scratching, fighting.

attempts to breathe as my hand falls

aggression sears deep

hurting, biting, bleeding. 

the pain is like a seed

i lose my sanity within the meaning

the sun seeping through the trees

drinking up the earths love 

walking this blackening ...

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I feel your hands

gripped around my wrists

I prepare for that swing,

swing of your fist

i do not breathe

inhale, yet no exhale

my face is turned, waiting

a sudden flinch, 

turning pale.

yet i open my eyes,

your fist is not raised.

i look into your eyes

there is no raging blaze

confusion sweeps my body

as i finally exhale

you werent trying...

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I have returned.

my poetry has not ceased,

but i am now grown 

i understand more things

ive learnt a broader vocabulary

and i have created pieces of art

that are hidden to the world.

yes, my family may find these,

but they are here to be read. 

they are to be shown,

even when they are gruely,

and unwanted to be known.

but they will be here,

to leave something...

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I have been ordered not to share my poetry on this site anymore by a family member of mine, i have deleted my poems but left my cherished ones. I suppose this is my goodbye.

i wish you all well 😊

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Reading back

To see all the love my mother recieved

As she was pregnant with me

June 4th 2010 I was attended

When her pregnancy finally ended

I feel a surge of relief 

That my mother had so many people with belief

Belief that I came out well

Although it was quite like hell

Sadness came to me as I realise

That I almost didnt make it out alive

Goodness! I must'v...

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Mummy, why am i like this?

All I do is sit and miss.

Missing your hugs, missing your scent,

I'm lay here drowning in my lament.

Mummy, i'm not the same anymore,

I carry on suffering more and more.

I'm just like you, I hate it and love it,

Im sorry mummy, my wrists are always slit.

Im sorry I can't be calm, I can't be happy,

But I love to read your poems, they're always s...

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