Poetry Blog by I'm not a poet
Tags from last 12 months
An open letter to cancer
Dear Cancer.
This could be a letter.
But its more a flow
That means much more.
Conscious-less rantings.
To break your cancerous bindings.
I tried to unpack the lidl supermarket bag with the pictures from the service the other day. The same lidl bag that we'd packed so many times for the drive to Leeds. Sentimentality for a brown battered paper Lid...
Tuesday 20th October 2020 2:34 am
All we are saying is give peace a chance 1980
All we are saying is give peace a chance 1980 (John would be eighty this year)
Eighth of December nineteen eighty.
John David Chapman took all that’s free.
A shot to the back four times was all it took
And all of the peacemaker went to fuck.
I was standing in the kitchen
One Herschel Road, Forrest Hill,
South London with the radio on
When I heard of the shot of t...
Thursday 15th October 2020 12:33 am
Lost Love I miss You My Glasgow Girl
Love lost
I lost myself today
Or maybe yesterday.
I walk these streets of grey
Unable to stop and stay.
I look upon your face
And feel lost loves disgrace.
I wander why you smile
As I wander mile upon mile.
The dishonesty in my head
Lays me down on liars bed.
I want to slash and burn
As I see the filth and turn.
Death walks alongside, a sh...
Wednesday 14th October 2020 12:03 am
The Twenty-seven Club
Lost at twenty-seven
Robert played them blues
Only twenty seven
And the ole devil got his dues.
Lost at twenty seven
He was the first, Johnson
He played them blues
But that ole devil came for his dues.
Janis Joplin sang us her heart
She was only twenty seven
When he came for her
Yes she payed her dues.
Jimmy Morrison rocked the wor...
Tuesday 13th October 2020 12:36 am
Sorry Love.
Sorry Love.
The band was shit!
Its name disappeared.
Gone from the bottom
of drink soaked memory.
I held a pint
mixed.
Half bitter half mild.
I remember that.
We stood at the back
I wore black
Flares on legs
And sand shoes.
You stood
Arm around me
Around slim waist.
Meaning something.
I stared into
A far off place.
...Sunday 11th October 2020 11:05 pm
Leaving the noise of yellow cabs
Touting for business
In poisonous fume filled ghetto
Egyptian American driver
“Here”
But not here
They say and stare
“Not here. Idiot”.
“Not here man”.
Stumbling life blind
Through the mists
And through the twists
And breathing the stinking air
Fetid furious oxygen theft
Buildings cov...
Wednesday 7th October 2020 11:07 pm
Jack Dempsey New York New York.
Oh god. Oh Dear.
A hangover in New York New York.
Small recollections through
hazes of alcohol pulsed pain.
Shaking fingers fumbling
for coffee and cigarette.
In a dark wood cased cabin
from sweat stinking bunk.
A million other people
who jerked through the same dance.
Night before around the world.
I stepped in time with you.
...
Tuesday 29th September 2020 1:51 pm
Clean dry socks, Falklands 1982.
We sat and cleaned,
We sat and polished,
We sat and oiled,
We sat and checked
The action.
We sat and checked
Our mags.
We counted spare mags,
Filled them with caress.
We counted grenades.
We looked to the horizon.
We looked for the airport.
Changed our socks.
We were cold,
We were battered
And we were soaked.
Thank god there’s
Always a joker.
The great artiste
One in every room.
...
Monday 28th September 2020 12:44 am
Leaves up.
Leaves end leaving.
My leaves up.
My backs up.
Back to the boys
Who I’ll always know.
But I’ll find them.
And I’ll learn
to love em.
Each and every one.
Again.
Bound in adversity.
We staggered
through the pain
Lost in love
Twirling in the rain.
With a whiskey
And a rum
We’ll start it all again.
Its time to don
The uniform
...
Saturday 26th September 2020 5:21 pm
I'm all Lost. In The Supermarket
I went to the supermarket,
Right in my car I parked it.
I washed my hands,
Pulled on my mask.
I cleaned the handles
Of the black plastic basket
I’m not one to risk it.
So I did the safety.
I walked around.
A lovely cob,
A micro meal,
Some milk green top.
I walked along the arrows
That defined the narrows.
A guy came the other way.
He had ...
Saturday 26th September 2020 4:32 pm
My Crazy Diamond two
My Crazy Diamond
As these words cascade upon the page
I feel a hole inside
Sometimes I shine like you
My crazy diamond.
All my friends say its good to have you back
But I’m not there
I’ll spend another day
Just staring at these four walls.
Come crashing down,
I smash my flat up again.
Silence deafens now
As these words cascade upon the page
I feel that y...
Friday 25th September 2020 1:01 am
Gods supermarket
I went to the supermarket,
Right in my car I parked it.
I washed my hands,
Pulled on my mask.
I cleaned the handles
Of the black plastic basket
I’m not one to risk it.
So I did the safety.
I walked around.
A lovely cob,
A micro meal,
Some milk green top.
I walked along the arrows
That defined the narrows.
A guy came the other way.
He had ...
Thursday 24th September 2020 12:53 am
Devil take you
Devil take you
The mists wreath the mountain tops
The cold seeps through you like tiny drops
There’s a gathering storm in those towers of stone
As you stare standing there almost alone.
The gods are absent from this scene
As you lose your mind to the dark and the dank
He’s rolling down an unbeaten path
Like an undiagnosed psychopath
His staring eyes red wi...
Sunday 20th September 2020 1:07 am
The Liars Smile.
The Liars Smile
I sat and held your hand
A thousand times again.
Sometimes we heard
The strumming of a band.
And I sat and held your hand.
We swapped smiles that
I couldn’t understand.
As you laid in that
Hospital bed.
I often felt forlorn
There’s a smashing
In my head. Sat in silence.
Just feeling like violence.
I slipped away
To the pa...
Saturday 19th September 2020 8:25 pm
Sell your soul
He’ll reach into your heart
Find all those pieces
Torn apart and bring em back.
The good and the bad
Battling for the surface
Heat like a furnace.
He’ll probe your mind
With his molten fingers of brimstone
Digging for that touch.
That touch to take you to hell.
As he ignores your tearful yell.
But its what you wanted.
You stoond ...
Tuesday 15th September 2020 8:50 pm
Impulse
Cold Steel 1982
I don’t know
I cant stand
What is in my head
Or what is in my hand.
Should I care
ShouldI dare?
I have
And it was exhilarating.
I placed the hard steel
My mouth took it
aimed at my thoughts,
A squeeze of the finger away.
The steel was cold
Upon my lips.
Rear sight
Felt within my teeth.
One more pound
Of...
Wednesday 9th September 2020 5:49 pm
Splashing along
Splashing along
In muddy water
Past the wall
Behind which
The off white
Ageless
Stones stare
Back at
Wanderers
And seekers
And pilgrims
And guests
Memento Mori
Seeking words
In ancient
Tomes of beauty
From long list
Of names
From long lost
Homes
And forgotten
Names
Of every type
And custom
And ...
Wednesday 9th September 2020 5:44 pm
TikTok TikTok Tik Tok Times running out...... edited
TikTok TikTok TikTok times running out.
I watched Trump on the TV set
When a loud knocking
Was at my door.
I’d just come from my shower floor.
So I put on a dressing gown.
She stood there wearing a mask
I wandered who I was afraid to ask.
Had I seen her before?
My mate came round
He had a Hauwai phone
He makes plastic tops for plastic bottles
Here he ...
Tuesday 8th September 2020 8:51 pm
A soldiers tale 1982
Dressed as a pauper.
looks like a thief.
Pushing the boundaries
Of your disbelief.
The raggedy man
in raggedy pants.
Arguing loudly
incoherent rants.
Stares covered in shame
Thinking of different
things to blame.
Don’t talk to him
he’s only a tramp.
Stay away from
his miserable stance.
Heap your scorn
on his shambling for...
Tuesday 8th September 2020 6:30 pm
Accross the ocean. Falklands 1982.
Face Down
I saw him face down in the dirt
We turned him over softly
Almost covertly.
Three small holes
All we could see.
Sightless eyes
Looking at us.
Farewell my brother
We’ll always love you.
We’ll carry you gently
And lay you to rest
That awful black bag
Does you no justice
For the times you
Laughed and brought
Us some freedom.
I don’t kn...
Monday 7th September 2020 11:30 pm
Dreamtime?
Dreamtime
I walked around cause I’d had a dream
All the people wandering what they seen
I lit a cigarette on a well scratched box
Looking up I thought I saw a fox
I looked again mad and keen
Searching for the message from my dream
Only suicide is the big question to ask
Camus wrote that on a napkin before the book
Yep I felt like Sisyphus climbing up that hill
I ...
Monday 7th September 2020 10:19 pm
In his image.
Stumbling through the chaotic selfish masses,
whose passing kicks and punches at honesty
destroy the desultory syntax that paranoia inflicted.
Curling the lips of the long kindred spirits.
Lips curling with semi happiness of nervous distrust
Lips curling with the comfort blanket of disbelief.
Brown kids looking at white kids thinking your a liar
White kid...
Thursday 27th August 2020 1:29 am
Nicky
Nicky Nicholson New Zealand 1999
His hands shook
His face contorted
He fought with
His stomach
Every morning
Palsy’d whiskey
Into his coffee
At breakfast
Thought no one
Noticed
As his new day
Was inhaled past
His vomit rotted
Teeth.
His breath stunk
His skin was
pallid
He hadn’t washed
His eyes
Were like
Dark
Stained g...
Monday 24th August 2020 1:44 am
The Winning Goal
What is it
said
Just before bed
Or intrusion
In your head
Or interrupt
Like a pixel fool
Your football fix
Schedule
How many?
You don’t remember.
What……?
How many goals
Three to two
You’ll never forget
Had a winning bet.
How many
You don’t recall
But you love
That winning goal
What….?
I’m just saying
Bodies by th...
Sunday 23rd August 2020 3:57 pm
The Only People For Me........
The only people for me....
Are the mad ones.
The ones who flare and flame,
Blast their way
Across the universe
In words of all kinds.
Babbling coherent
And incoherent as…
They fight to find
The world to live on.
Shabby looking,
Slim from lack
Of sustainable
Edibles.
They shine the brightest.
Flying high
On drugs and drink
And way out i...
Saturday 22nd August 2020 7:57 pm
Cancer...... I hate you.
This isn’t a poem
Maybe it is
Maybe its quiet words whispered in the ear
Yet shouted out the loudest
of the one who needs to lave the room.
Cancer I hate you.
I have no alternative points of view.
Only… cancer I hate you.
I know your not a person.
But I still hate you.
Cancer, you are a medical terrorist.
You stand top of my list.
I...
Friday 21st August 2020 11:43 pm
Truths Vanish
Truths vanish
As history is written
Smoke wreathes around
Time upon time
The reflections of broken mirrors
The refractions of shards
Placed to trap dullards
Whose minds travel in a heard.
Truths vanish
Upon the alter of greed
Perceived greater need
For those to feed
Whose snouts already bleed
From trammelling in the seeds
...
Friday 21st August 2020 1:30 am
Kill Them All
Kill them all
Said the man
who sent
The man with
The vest
Kill them all
Said the man
Who ordered
The man
Who drives
The drone
Kill them all
Said the Sheik
To the pilot
Who hit
The tower
Kill them all
Said the man
To the pilot
Who commands
The B52 overhead
Kill them all
Said the man
...Wednesday 19th August 2020 9:24 pm
Truths Vanish
Truths vanish
As history is written
Smoke wreathes around
Time upon time
The reflections of broken mirrors
The refractions of shards
Placed to trap dullards
Whose minds travel in a heard.
Truths vanish
Upon the alter of greed
Perceived greater need
For those to feed
Whose snouts already bleed
From trammelling in the seeds
...
Wednesday 19th August 2020 9:17 pm
Pals
Pals
10.000
20.000
30.000
40.000
50.000….
…100.000
A million.
Khaki shades
Young heroes
Old heroes
Scared heroes
Brave heroes
Just to turn out
Is hero enough.
Measure.
Going home
gloriously
North
On a carpet
Of red
From a pit
Of brown
And betrayel
Of ignorance
Pals
Together forever
The lu...
Wednesday 19th August 2020 9:15 pm
Fuck Them That Aint Us
Fuck them
That aint us
Amen
In the pain
And overflowing
Disdain for
Those we call
Warriors
Is the greatest
Of us
Hiding under
Bushells
Of damage
And fear
Hold them near
Tight
And dear
Drink their
Fear
To understand
The truth
Of your own lives
They are your
Reality
Living ne...
Wednesday 19th August 2020 3:11 pm
“We’re going down the pub 1978”
“We’re going down the pub”!
The speed spread
Through my head
As I ran laughing
Seeing it all.
Oi Oi.
Peoples faces,
everyone shining
Like glass lightening.
Some smiled back.
"White riot I want a riot"!
My feet danced
In puddles of light
As I danced
The dance all right.
I could run right through the night.
I crossed the puddles
...
Monday 17th August 2020 3:09 pm
All we are saying is give peace a chance
All we are saying is give peace a chance
Eighth of December nineteen eighty.
John David Chapman took all that’s free.
A shot to the back four times was all it took
And all of the peacemaker went to fuck.
I was standing in the kitchen
One Herschel Road, Forrest Hill,
South London with the radio on
When I heard of the shot of the gun.
My hands were befitted...
Monday 17th August 2020 1:34 am
Panama with love.
I used to potter close and afar
In plain clothes for a job.
In late nineteen eighty three I went to Panama.
Strange it seems although the boss was Noriega
I found Panama quite a delight.
Especially upon a night.
It was my fifth time there so I was aware
the guys on customs could be quite a pair.
But nothing $20 US couldn’t sort fair and square.
Each...
Monday 17th August 2020 12:40 am
Love from the barrel of a gun
I lost myself today
Or maybe yesterday.
I walk these streets of grey
Unable to stop and stay.
I look upon your face
And feel lost loves disgrace.
I wander why you smile
As I wander mile upon mile.
The dishonesty in my head
Lays me down on liars bed.
I want to slash and burn
As I see the filth and turn.
Death walks alongside, a shade.
A shade lo...
Monday 17th August 2020 12:32 am
Valparaiso around Cape Horn 1985.
Bob Dylan
Guided people to their places
In the cemetery
Wearing a top hat
We were gone
Going
To Valparaiso
The Horn was sick and busy
I vomited my breakfast.
Pinochet welcomed us
With hands held out.
Marlborough and whiskey and
Threats with burp guns.
Dont mention Pablo…
Don’t mention the Stadium de Santiago.
...
Sunday 16th August 2020 11:50 pm
Cold Steel
Cold Steel 1982
I don’t know
I cant stand
What is in my head
Or what is in my hand.
Should I care
ShouldI dare?
I have
And it was exhilarating.
I placed the hard steel
My mouth took it
aimed at my thoughts,
A squeeze of the finger away.
The steel was cold
Upon my lips.
Rear sight
Felt within my teeth.
One more pound
Of...
Sunday 16th August 2020 3:23 pm
Fuck Them That Aint Us
Fuck them
That aint us
Amen
In the pain
And overflowing
Disdain for
Those we call
Warriors
Is the greatest
Of us
Hiding under
Bushells
Of damage
And fear
Hold them near
Tight
And dear
Drink their
Fear
To understand
The truth
Of your own lives
They are your
Reality
Living ne...
Sunday 16th August 2020 2:04 am
Take the ugly things
Take the ugly things
The twisted forlorn
Fallow empty cold
Ugly things.
The despised, feral
rancid vapid tepid
Broken things.
The ambitions
the contradictions.
that bastardise
humanity and
kick human frailty.
Into damaged things.
To progress on
Imagined ladder
built on the rotten
Wood of greed.
Greed ugly creed.
Fo...
Saturday 15th August 2020 11:45 pm
There's danger near Falklands 1982
There's danger near Falklands 1982
Stop! Stop!
There’s danger near.
Maybe right here.
A careful bending
of the knee.
Maybe a hundred bodies.
Maybe more
All along that
Bloody shore
From a distance looking
Like potato sacks.
Helmets, FN rifles,
Machine guns,
Helmets and packs
Anything to lighten
The load upon that bloody road.
...
Friday 14th August 2020 10:51 pm
The Crossroads
When your lost on a path down the darkest of highways
When you don’t have a light to lead down the byways
When the roads all converge on the charcoal tunnels
And the skyways take you to the dark smoking funnels
When you look in the mirror and the bogey man stares back
When you formulate peace into your plan of attack
But looking around shows you only the corners
...Thursday 13th August 2020 9:18 pm
The Liars Smile.
The Liars Smile
I sat and held your hand
A thousand times again.
Sometimes we heard
The strumming of a band.
And I sat and held your hand.
We swapped smiles that
I couldn’t understand.
As you laid in that
Hospital bed.
I often felt forlorn
There’s a smashing
In my head. Sat in silence.
Just feeling like violence.
I slipped away
To the pa...
Thursday 13th August 2020 8:28 pm
The Anti Shanty
Take yer shanties and shove em 2016 Or the Anti Shanty.
Take yer shanties and shove em.
Take yer white foam flying.
Take yer fair winds blowing.
Take yer furrows following fucking freely.
And shove em.
Yer songs about masts and sails
and rolling, rollicking singing and fun in gail’s.
Phoney fallacious frigging fantasy folklore.
Unreal figures dancing and pranci...
Wednesday 12th August 2020 10:59 pm
Books
Walking on squeaky floorboards
Occupying space
Previously walked
At a nurtured pace.
How much time
Have people taken
To scan the walls
And see the books?
The smell of written beauty
In a time of pixels
Smell the pages
Of history.
Looking through
Piles of literary minds
Looking for that goldmine.
That transports and en...
Wednesday 12th August 2020 7:17 pm
Days Defined
When you have cancer
The world becomes smaller.
The world becomes hospitals.
Chemicals and Nabilone.
Hope and dreams to confess.
Free for you from the NHS.
So the world is smaller
Yet its also bigger.
Because the fight that you make
Is the same all over the world.
Unless its America.
Dollars mean care.
We get it for free...
Tuesday 11th August 2020 12:16 am
Walked from the emptiness
of a grey cold flat
onto grey cold streets
made greyer by the seeping
misery of rain
that isn’t quite rain.
Walked the dank streets of oblivion
to a bar, the bar.
There’s the smiling faces.
Josh like a son
smiles and big brain
Big Mike with
gentlest smile on earth.
Dylan walking his own path
spreading happiness.
...Monday 10th August 2020 12:00 am
The Old/New Estate
The Estate
Kids with kids in
Second hand push chairs
Walking line ahead
Lad at the front
Mother and baby
To the back
Followers.
Its how its done
When your hard enough.
Burberry caps and Adidas tracksuits
Nike sneakers cheap knock offs.
Big earrings gold in colour.
Make up layered upon layer.
Stoned. Started at lunch times
On the school field
...Sunday 9th August 2020 1:39 pm
Hellhounds on my trail
Stumbling through rows
Upon rows….
Of headless flowers.
Wandering wildly
At the assassination
Of such beauty.
Someone told me at school
There was a heaven
And a headman whose name
Was god.
They told me of gates above
And endless caress of love.
And another place of fire
That waited for me if
I strayed from paths so dire.
But I never believed f...
Saturday 8th August 2020 7:41 pm
Granny
Grateful widow
Granddad
Misogynist with
Drink and fists
Uncle George
Uncle Ernie
Uncle Fred
Coldstream guardsmen
Aunty Frieda hard working mam
Aunty Jenny shop boss
My dad Dave
Uncle Tommy
In the shipyards
Mum a seamstress
Till I appeared
Ernie war hero
George boxing hero
Fred docking hero
Dad my ...
Saturday 8th August 2020 7:34 pm
What was tonight?
Whiskey and water.
Beer,
Arguments surreptitiously
Heard.
“My husbands a cunt.
But I stay with him.
He fucked the next door neighbour!
I told that bitch and she left.”
Cigarette passes between lips.
Smoke inhaled.
Scared of the night.
Afraid to leave,
Afraid to stay.
Lost in a miasma
Of friendship love and fear.
Strangers awash in ...
Saturday 8th August 2020 2:15 am
Recent Comments
Paul Sayer on (11 days ago)
Nicola Beckett on Jack Dempsey New York New York. (Tue, 29 Sep 2020 09:15 pm)
Paul Sayer on Jack Dempsey New York New York. (Tue, 29 Sep 2020 03:28 pm)
Paul Sayer on Clean dry socks, Falklands 1982. (Mon, 28 Sep 2020 05:34 pm)
raypool on Clean dry socks, Falklands 1982. (Mon, 28 Sep 2020 12:30 pm)
John Coopey on Clean dry socks, Falklands 1982. (Mon, 28 Sep 2020 10:38 am)
Greg Freeman on Clean dry socks, Falklands 1982. (Mon, 28 Sep 2020 09:52 am)
Paul Sayer on My Crazy Diamond two (Fri, 25 Sep 2020 08:01 am)
Paul Sayer on Gods supermarket (Thu, 24 Sep 2020 06:33 pm)
Martin Elder on Impulse (Thu, 10 Sep 2020 08:43 am)