Poetry Blog by Hallielle Rose Dawson

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Devon Brock on Half a Life (4 days ago)

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afishamongmany on All of May (11 days ago)

on A Fire (Thu, 2 May 2019 04:08 pm)

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Don Matthews on Any Less (The Ocean) (Thu, 11 Apr 2019 04:56 am)

Continuous Positive Airway Pressure

My soul travels back and forth 
Between feeling like I'm holding my breath,
And feeling like all the breath has been taken out of me.
In either case, it has been a long time 
Since I have felt like I could breathe. 

My world has been chaos,
Misfortune after tragedy after misfortune 
Most days I wonder when I will catch a break
Then there are times I believe 
I finally have my head above...

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Half a Life

If you can honestly
Say you believe 
I'll forget about you
And you'll forget about me

You have not yet 
Come to realize 
That apart, we are living
But half of a life. 

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The Abyss

The abyss is a dark and lonely place -
I know, for I reside there;
My wings are clipped, my arms and legs 
With ropes and chains are tied there;
So far away if someday
I found strength to make a sound,
Not a soul would hear me -
For there's not a soul around. 

So, you see, this solitude 
Is seemless by design,
This impenetrable fortress 
Proves to stand the test of time.
For locked...

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All of May

I light another cigarette; I get so sick, I'm sick of it
I have another mental breakdown every time I try to quit 
It isnt like I'm not aware that this is bad for me
I have so many thoughts, I need some time to stop and breathe.
I've spent the past six months trying to learn to love myself
But that's a struggle when the world has shown you something else.
I wake up every day with demons star...

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I look at all of the people

Waiting for one of them to be you


And so they are. 

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These Triangles

entry picture

These triangles 

Find their place atop the tangled lines 

Timing is everything 

These triangles will save your life. 

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You have no idea,

I think, as I finish another line, 

That this is all for you -

Wouldn't you be surprised. 

Pages upon pages 

In order of time...

So silence was never quite silence,

You'll find. 

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And Then

And then I feel weak,

And then I get angry,  

And then I get stronger. 

And you really don't have any idea,

And you really don't even know me anymore. 

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What you see is a soul

Fighting effortlessly 

Slaying, surviving,

Even thriving.


What you don't see

Is some times

Are so soul-crushing

Jarring and numbing

That I can hardly walk 

Hardly stand

Hardly breathe.


Please make no mistake -

This was never easy

And though I have made so much progress,

I have gone through so much pain.


Sometimes, I...

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Hush, lovey.

I thank you greatly

For taking away my power to speak

So that I had no choice 

                                           But to listen. 

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A Fire

A fire you set, yet never to see

For years you had doused me with gasoline 

You struck a match and chose to retreat

Deaf, beyond miles from my bloodcurdling screams.


And the fire did consume all of me,

The weeds, the flowers, the moss, the trees

Until smouldering piles of brush and leaves 

Were all that was left - an ashen scene. 


But an ashen scene to a human eye


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If You Were

If you were 

To reread my words,

The very first, 

Those that flowed so freely

From my pen

With then, unknown meaning, 

You would find that

All along, 

This was written in the stars...

All along. 



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Any Less (The Ocean)

I love the ocean, 

                              But I don't live at the beach. 


I wish that I could -

            Stand and watch the sea every evening,

            Walk by the waves,

            Smell the salt water,

            Stare at the sunset.

                                      At the ocean, I am home.


But the mountains are my home as well.


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There are no words 

For letting go.


Only silence. 

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Half order of bacon, make it a whole

The hardest thing for me to do
Is cook pancakes.
I have made it through
Everything else
Every day I make it through 6pm
I make it through the bad calls
I make it through smoke breaks
I make it through ice cream
But for the life of me,
I cannot cook pancakes.

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Rock Bottom

On my belly I crawled,
Dragging my languid extremities 
Along the mud-caked floor,
Eyes dull and listless.
I caught my reflection
In a puddle of putrid water,
A blurry image soaking up the light 
Between the grime and scum.

And it was there,
That stagnant place for so long I slithered 
Hoping to run into you, 
That the world hurled me into myself.

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For Too

"Oh well," 

She shrugged,

Staring blankly at the empty space in front of her.

"What have I got to lose?"

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Maybe these waves will always crash,

Creating the illusion of chaos.

Still I am learning 

To sit peacefully among them

And allow the water to fall where it will,

Without the interference 

Of my feeble metal buckets. 



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You should know 

That I have found the answers 

To questions

I didn't even know we had.


You should know that I found answers,

And that I know what I have to do,

Not just for me,

But for you.


I will fix it, gemello.

I made you a promise. 


Anything for you.

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The Second Sorry

And so forgive me
If I cannot shake this,
If I cannot just let this go 
And allow you the misery 
That I cannot believe 
You truly want for yourself.

Forgive me for the constant reminders,
For not just letting you be alone,
For I do not know what you want now
But I know what you believed then.
It would be a dishonor to deny 
Any part of this. 

And so again, forgive me
Because I ca...

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No Sorry.

I have no way of telling you
That I am so, so sorry
For ever questioning you,
For ever wondering,
For ever doubting;

For I see so clearly now
What seemed so cloudy then.
You loved me so hard
In such an unparalleled manner
For such a long time.

You said to me, if I did not see it,
You had failed me yet again.
You need to know that I see it now.
I see it. I feel it. I am so sorry.

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I see your reflection
Floating in the water,

I visit your memory
In mirrored glass,
The tallest tower.

I acknowledge your presence
Walking beside me,
My shadow.

I know you are here
When the moon hangs
In the sky.

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Human life is absolutely a miracle to begin with.

So when somebody says, here is a heart, it has stopped beating. Here are your tools. Fix it. Bring back life. 

Where do you even begin?

Eight sets of eyes staring at me, 

                                                              Do something.

I have one patient, one EMT, three firemen, four policemen, one family member. 

And o...

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The Test (haiku)

Is this, then, the test?

To find when there is nothing,

Something still remains?

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March Three

I loved him

And he loved me

Until I loved me

And he loved he.

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Why now.

I did so well
For so many weeks
Why now
Am I screaming at the windshield
Yelling your name like it's my final breath
Why now am I questioning,
Remembering every little detail
Why is it torturing me,
Burning my soul, why
Does your memory haunt me
When I wake, when I sleep,
On every drive home
Is the shadow of your presence following me
Why is it mocking my every move

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Rule Number One

Rule number one:
Do no harm.

Just answer me,
How could you hold
Something so fragile
In your arms for so long,

And then just shatter it?

Answer Me.

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Hating you
Feels like
And the further I run
The less I can breathe
But remembering you
Feels like

I am nearly
Out of air

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My biggest mistake

I used to hope you were doing okay.
Now I don't.
Now I hope you're fucking feeling it.
You see, my biggest mistake
Was loving you enough to allow you to live in complacency.
You would have stayed forever in that place of safety.
And even last week I found myself sad and hurting
Because you are sad and hurting,
But now I think, great.
Feel it.
Feel all of the fucking pain.

Maybe for on...

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Now I Am Angry.

Now I am angry.
But that's what you wanted,
Isn't it?
You wanted to piss me off
So much so that I would hate you,
Hate you like I said I never would.
For so long
That - kept me - from being angry.
Or maybe that really wasn't your reason after all,
Maybe you are a narcissistic sociopath,
Telling your goddamn lies to get what you wanted from me.
Did you?
Are you fucking happy now?

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No. No title.

I want you to know that I don't want to do this.
I want you to know that I never wanted it to be this way.
That I loved you with all of my heart.
That I would hold on forever if you let me.
But it has become painstaking clear
That I am holding on to something that is already long gone.
I cannot keep watching, waiting, listening
For a sound I will not hear, a time that will not come;
And no...

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I saw you last night
Again in my dreams
We smiled and we hugged 
And you held me but brief,

And when she called out for you,
I started to leave.

A few steps toward the door 
But my soul turned around.
My body soon followed
Whilst your eyes searched the ground. 

Wait, I demanded, 
You don't understand 
What you're throwing away  
By not taking my hand. 

Could you not feel the ...

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The Ultimate Blanket Fort

If you have to hide,

Why can we not hide 

In each other?

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Every night, these dreams haunt me

But I must concede,


It is better to be haunted

And to see your face

Than to sleep without you

And to rest in peace. 

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Bird Box

Take off your blindfold.


Although the darkness is familiar, 



                     It is no place in which to spend your life.


Covering your eyes

                               May mask you from the rest of the world,

But it will not hide you from yourself.


The light will get through,

       And w...

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For the rest of the world

No longer will I say

You did this to me.


For the rest of the world,


I will be strong.
I will be kind.
I will be present.

I will be compassionate.
I will be understanding.
I will be empathetic.

I will be courageous.
I will be intuitive.
I will be brave.

I will be everything
That you couldn't be
For me -


You did NOT


Ruin me

For the rest of the w...

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Please forgive me.

I have been hurt recently
And the wound is still fresh,
Raw, and bleeding.

But you should know that,
For it was you
Who tied my tourniquet.

But still I will love you
With all that I have left
Until the light burns out.

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He took a baseball bat to her heart

With complete disregard for her dreams;

He shattered her soul. 

And when she looked up through broken glass 

Night had turned to day again -

And the sky

                           was blue. 

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January 42nd


Are filling in these empty holes

So fast;

Oh so fast. 


Have no idea 

How much I need that right now. 



Keep shoveling.

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"You dropped this."

He picked up her heart

Holding it ever so gently,

And stretched his hand out toward her.

"No, I didn't.

I threw it away on purpose."


He asked simply.

"It is broken."

He pulled a bandage from his pocket.


His arm outstretched toward her once again, 

"It is fixed."

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Lima Charlie

I have tried 

                   So hard

                   For so long

        To understand.


I understand now.



                 Do I understand now.

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First Aid

Your words,

Your smile,

Your memory,


Have been a bandage for me;


For my heart was broken recently.


And for that, my dear,

I thank you 


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This Time Around

Why, you ask me,

Why did you come back

To this place?


Come back? You don't understand.

I never left.


The people; I answer you,

Holding back thoughts and memories,

Afraid of showing just how much 

The People,

Meaning You, and the others,

Have impacted my life.


I looked at the skyline again tonight,

The same skyline I stared at on my final call with...

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Wasn't It

I don't know how you could say you loved me like you did,

And then go on to break my heart like this.

I guess it was always me, loving you, after all,

Wasn't it?

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Conversations with Myself

Sometimes I say your name aloud
Just to see if I can hear you say mine;
How blessed am I
To be so far away 
And yet, you remain by my side.

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