Poetry Blog by Fred Varden

Political Correctness

PC gone mad?

PC seems sad

Things that are correct

and those that aren’t 

What you can say

and what you can’t

Regard somehow

it seems quite scant

We admit to being wrong

Even in the words of songs

People mocked, derided, upset

But what you see is what you get

Wolf whistling and winks

Advertising of drinks

Saying what you really think

Are all hovering on ...

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Truth and Lies

Truth and lies can make you cry

like pie in the sky as you cast the die

Truth and hate when you stay up late

To watch the news and see them berate

The state of politics of fear and hate

And Brexit served up on a plate

Of truth and lies when all the while

Their doom and gloom is a sonic boom

Of cheats and liars mixed with smoke and fire Spinning yarns with two faced charm


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I only work for the Council

In the chamber of the council

Where all the decisions are made

On roads and drains and sewers

And how much we all get paid


Now some of us are gardeners

And others empty bins

There's also the unlucky ones

Who rod grids and pipes and things


Well me I'm in the office

Delivering all the mail

Compared to the Chief Executive 

Into insignificance I do pale



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Have you heard the latest rumour

About the Vicar and his Wife?

They got stuck in the crypt

no one there to assist

And it changed their whole outlook on life


You see with no one there to help them

And Devine intervention not seen

The Vicar chose not to pray to God 

But sought solace in a few G and Ts


So the moral of this story

As you amble along in life's rac...

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Families at War

Sit tight, keep quiet

keep still, no lights

No emotions, no tears

no rows, no fights

Avoid confrontations

in a tin pot shelter

As hearts are beating



A belief in the mask

around necks to protect

but in reality a token

of advice misguided

and broken

with instructions

to lessen the panic

amid all the destruction 


Blacked out, s...

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The Place of Dreams?

As I am dreaming of spirit or demon

Driving me on to confusion of mind


Vivid then hazy my eyelids feel lazy

Limbs feeling heavy and fingers entwined 


Floating, show boating because I can fly

Let’s drink as I sink in this place in my sky


I go there, I cry there, not die there, not yet

Tossing and turning, mind churning a lie?


A place that seems tranquil, ...

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Vicious Cycle

Suburban life awakens in a
super output area of deprivation
According to the statisticians index
this place has to be the pits
of the earth in isolation 

Children void of early morning food
plead with parents
to get them to school
but know that they
will again fail to be heard
above the noise of the wind
rain and someone taking the blame
for how things remain
in a grey and black wor...

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Bright colours

on pastel shades

Telling black and 

white stories

Of purple tinted

jelly beans

And brown and

greenish flora


Indigo banners

are now unfurled 

Showing yellow

violet and green

Rainbow trout

with purple mouths

Swimming in

a colourless stream


Oh show me the colours of life

To see it's light and shade

Through God'...

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By Fred Varden

Oh I wish I could hide away

And live every single day

With no interference 

From those close or near us

I wish I could hide away


I could do with a break you know

And get covered from head to toe

In them massage oils

And be wrapped in tin foil

To take all me stresses away


Oh I wish I lived by the sea

Take in the sun and the br...

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Talking Eyes


By Fred Varden


Each time those sparkling emeralds are observed a different story

unfolds before me.

  Unfolding before me a different story.


A tale of intrigue today perhaps

or mystery tomorrow?

Brow furled or unfurled, eyeliner or eye

shadow, to disguise truths hidden within?

     Disguised within are hidden truths  


There are days when t...

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Friends Prominent


By Fred Varden 


Stevie, Gary, Peter and me

Simon, Jude and John times three

Mike, Geoff, Dave and friends

Frank and Denis never did made amends


These are all me mates you see

At least that's what they pretended to be

The reality is that they gave me strife 

I'm convinced they all fancied me wife


Always planning, plotting, being pruden...

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Parenting for Dummies


By Fred Varden 

"Mummy I want some tasty sweets"

"Oh no you've had enough of treats"

"Ok I will cry, cry and cry"

"Well alright but it's the last I buy"

"You said that same thing yesterday"

"Well yesterday is not today"

"Granted but I now want milk"

"No chance of that you're getting zilch"

"But natural feeding's the best they say"

"On this you...

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Is there a nurse in the house? (Audio)

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Your gonna have to pay

For a bill you don’t remember 

They wanted all your details

even asked about your gender


At first it all seemed kosher 

Or perhaps it was a joke

If you leave it any longer 

There’s a chance you’ll end up broke


Driving home your bum was twitchin’

checked your bank balance in the kitchen

The cash was all still there

But for how long w...

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Pine needles

  Fine needles 

      Sewing needles 

          Knitting needles

Hat pins

   Straight pins

     Ten pins

        And tie pins

Syringe needles 

   Thread needles 

       Record needles

           Haystack needles

Ear pins

   Nose pins

      Hair pins

         And rolling pins

My needles 

    Your pins

         Sewing boxes 


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Split Personalities

Innumerable characteristics 

Lots of quirks and traits

Moods, feelings, personas

Too many to contemplate 


Those pan faced and stoic

Straight laced and serious

Po faced but laid back

Expressionless and curious


The gregarious, outrageous 

Unreserved but shy

Intriguing and mysterious

Easy on the eye


Bubbly and extravagant

Conscientious but neuroti...

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Ode to a Toad

To you oh amphibious one do I write this tribute most deserving
To he who is either frog or toad depending on exactly what mode
A human being classifies your mysterious and bulbous eyes
Depending on the shape or size
The scaly skin you wear like a mink coat 
You are the aristocracy of the moat
The pond or lake with green and slimy frill
Where your peers and servants can be found
Before it'...

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Social Media pat-a-cake

Facebook Facebook give me a poke

Send me a message from a handsome bloke

Make all my friends like my new lovely picture

Even the one tagging my ugly sister


Messenger Messenger help me survive

With one click may I now go live

Face to face with the lady of my dreams

On second thoughts make it someone in their late teens


From my profile she can clearly see


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Divisions of Joy

Raw sounds of electrified emotion 

Driving an arrow straight at the heart

Of those who listen and observe the motion of he with deep souled voice

A haunting yet so captivating a beat

Sets the tone again to dance hall feet

That try to emulate the quirky moves

Of a struggling genius in giants shoes

Bass lines throb with treble up high

With beats and rolls from skins on tins


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Wigan Pier

Eh well we were driving along, driving along, driving along near Wigan

I was eating a pie, eating a pie and I had to make a decision

We were lost you see, lost you see, we were lost you see near Wigan.

The Pier was where we needed to be, to be, or not to be.

So I stopped a bloke, stopped a bloke, but nearly choked on me pie.  As he poked me in, as he poked me in, as he poked me in the ...

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Random Rhyme

Movie stars: 
           Aston Martin Cars
Footballers wives:
            Liposuction lives
Mediterranean diets:
             Sunday fry ups
Angela Merkel:
               Vicious circle
European Union:
                  Unstable communion 
Sense of Politics:
                  Nonsense of Heretics
Mad Scientist:
                   Sane Psychiatrist
White collar worker:

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The Builders Yard

An eerie icy builders yard
tools, equipment and materials
do forlornly lie 
A barrow with a squeaky
wonky wheel
Caked with cement
bruised with grit

Planks of un-plained
knotted wood rest
amidst rusted terracotta
scaffolding clamps
A thousand screws and nails
some misshapen, aged
extracted, used,
deemed useless
caress bags of unused
carpet tacks and masonry bolts

Creosote in a ...

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Life in Shades

 Shades of grey describe the times
When explanations are in short supply
No answer can be found at once
so things hang in the distant beyond

Nearer to home there's shades of green
where rhyme and reason can be seen
Feelings of safety and security in rooms
that don't present as doom and gloom

They don't present as doom and gloom
we're safe and secure in our private rooms

Times we dr...

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