Poetry Blog by Ellie22

Scream

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At 3am I heard people yelling
screaming 


I couldn't tell if they were happy or
defeated. 

 

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Back

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You open the window and it's freezing 
but immediately you feel it makes sense
you hear someone cough and it brings you home. 
It's better than cutting your own skin 
to bring you back. 

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The Interview

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I wear odd, ill-fitting clothes
which means it's not really me who
they are meeting today- 
and these people smile though they don't own me
these people nod though they don't know me
so I offer them a breath of me

I offer a breath
but when I get home
my hair will fall loose
and catch scents 
shielding me, protecting me
from people who never wanted 
more than a breath

 

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An Invitation

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We celebrate in expensive borrowed clothing 
champagne in plastic glasses. 
 I'm not ready

it took enough coming here
enough leaving one life
now they expect me to create a new one?

before the next one 
and the side project that doesn't work out
and the next one

when my name will come after some title
and I am as defined
as cracks on the ground. 

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Social Conversation

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Before there was the expensive cot, there was the expensive jewelley
unwanted, the wrong shape, not good enough to be photographed
the tiredness from him
the no longer subtle sigh from her

I get two filtered seconds of your life on a camera
and I wonder about the seconds in between 
and- if I look carefully- I see you fall through 
like a sieve 
giving me drops
instead of oceans 

...

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New York

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New York

You have  stained my skin
A place so tough, so unbelievable.
So giving, yet so unashamedly selfish 

mass panic to see scrap book cut-outs
leaflets thrust as a recorded message spill out of desperate mouths 
ice cold water, ice cold water, three dollars, people!

I am reminded of places that I have known to exist 
and yet the sky is bruised- so are the people
from films and  TV...

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Meet Me at the Museum

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She chose to cry in the Time and Space exhibition,
it was on the top floor and she felt proud to have kept it together 
through the four stages below

Since time is measured by motion in space, there was no time without moving cosmos.

She had taken her hand in the planterium 
as though it were a rehearsel. The narration, the unknown facts
the darkness

Due to tidal friction from the sun...

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I Observe the Fish

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It scatters and avoids all danger
then forgets and doesn't worry
or ponder on moments.
Whichever direction, it is forward
and all emotions last a second
as it continues solidly onto the 
next. 

 

 

 

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The Second Hand Guitar

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It is said to be sturdy
Guaranteed never to break
the shop owner used to call her 
Loretta-My-Baby

Loretta played ballads
nothing faster than Elvis
pre-army
and strictly no amps

The kid turned down the offer 
of a new set of strings
he likes the feel of the broken ones
like war scars

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How Does That Make You Feel?

 

I went to see a therapist
she said not to call her that 
she was more of an observer 
she'd made a mess of her life
she wasn't going to tell me I was making a mess of mine

Beyond the blue shield of fabric I hear
screaming and cursing and ohhh gods
and I wonder why the tears won't come and the 
screams remain in my pillow- because this
 'safe place' is all well and good but I still ...

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Bus 142

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Hey Bus- service number 142
Can you take me home?
Did you get here via the same road as me?
I love that we have both chosen to stop here.

I'm a happily lonely vagabond
Headed down the Stampede Trail
Alaska
APRIL 1992...

is it really now August?
I don't know.
Does it matter?
What if my keys still fit that Datsun..

What if I accepted the keys to the car you promised?

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Second Hand Heartbreak


I have second hand heartbreak
watching from the sidelines and offering 
words and fears to you. 
I see and observe and feel and
 have no right to cry.

It's second hand heartbreak 
I haven't the ripped soul
to feel this pain. 
It doesn't belong to me.
I have no right to cry.

It is second hand heartbreak
and I have no right to cry

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Age

I can't conceive being older than I am right this second
because I never outgrew the weird
I loved the world and everything it had

but it was never supposed to offer
that much
As children we take the extra but
then it is taken away without warning 


when does the reward of not being expected to know come back around?
where is the prize of blissful naivity?
Of not being expected to kn...

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Clothes in the Rain


soaked through
left and hung for good weather
alone.Spread. Exposed with hope but no thought...
to dry out. Alone in the sun.
Yet when left in the rain...
it soaks through 
it hangs
it shrinks
until it is left to wait for brighter weather
It's damaged
but it dries.

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G.G

Another fight has broken

and George is there before I call.

Calm,reassuring firm words that always end in a smile.

His eyes always a lie.

His eyes could tell a story if he let them.

He doesn't. So I write.

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The Cage

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Slithers of light of life from gaps through the bars. 

people glance in but never touch. 

a key hangs out of reach

for a lock that is broken, old and tired. 

The tiger doesn't even approach the gleaming eyes anymore. 

He keeps his eyes fixed on the floor and ignores the noise. 

The tiger purrs. The tiger no longer roars. 

The people are bored... they invested money and time. 

...

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3am

I like 3am because the 9 to 5 stops
0800 numbers stop dialing and I don't
have more demands to get blood from a stone. 
No knocks at the door that make me pull the sheets
up higher. Demons come out in the day when you
grow-up. But it's 3am now and nobody owns me and I am me and I am 
without guilt of an unfinished form or telephone call. Technically I should be 
sleeping so none of these ho...

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Montage of Heck

I'm sad tonight

cos I just watched a Kurt Cobain doc
and he contradicted himself in the last two minutes 
so now I wanna claw the walls
and scream at the sky

but yet he contradicts and
it is put in print forever and 
ever and ever and therefore 
I feel for him
and I pray for him

because his words are written and written
with no commentary
no aside
no asterix*

 

*but why sh...

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The Year of the Fish

With unskilled grace

our poorly designed bodies

disturb the peace of the fish

 

The fish who own these surroundings and

blink with constant alarmed expressions 

experiencing the same wonder 

minute by minute without ever understanding

the last moment. 

 

Secretly ruling the deep of the world

with quiet, confident, bemused wonder. 

 

 

 

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You'd Tell Me

You would tell me wouldn’t you? 
You’d tell me if all this is irrelevant if all this is actually 
a pause rather than an interlude. 
That this is all heading somewhere to some-thing 
Just knowing… even a little bit… a wink, a nod… maybe then we’d all be okay.

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History Channel +1

I would love to describe the wind for you... 
but the sound of skin against plastic 
is the most common sound I hear these days

if not from me then from another– 
the click that was once caused by skin on skin 
is now skin on a human made form.

And yet there is still Autumn in the trees 
where Winter should be 
and I’m still falling into despair over things 
that should be long, long ...

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Twist

Hunters don’t respond well to be being trapped. 
Take away a crown and a King may stumble to his knees 
Catch a leader without their people and they may 
lean on you rather than knock you down...

A twist round on a carousel 
can reveal a lot.

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Incomplete Maps

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An innocent behind bars 
is given the final chapter to a book he never began. 
A lost soul on the streets 
looks at half written headlines and loses a card game he was 
never taught the rules for. 
A pleading face tells you to vote for a meaningless act 
parading on a broken stage of answers and 
meaning... 
when all fades into one and the truth is lost somewhere 
in the middle of a masqu...

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The Grey Sky

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a rather lazy beginning to a poem 
but it is the closest I can get to describing the 
sky to  you today... 
that and I didn’t fancy the alternative– 
a piece of apple, sliced pretentiously, fiercely 
deliberately... 
is this how artists feel when they are forced to 
sketch something they are indifferent about?

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WATER

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                                      Water


                                   Ellie Fearn

 

So much of my mother is in that cliff. 
It was here that as an eighteen year old 
you accepted a promise that would later be broken. 
It was here you would return and cry every time because
you were so happy. 

You thought a rivet would always stay in place  
so all future plans were set an...

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Archive

  • 2015 - 2017 (25)

Recent Comments

kealan coady on Scream (7 days ago)

Martin Elder on The Interview (Sun, 22 Oct 2017 06:08 pm)

Laura Taylor on An Invitation (Fri, 26 May 2017 01:38 pm)

Colin Hill on An Invitation (Tue, 23 May 2017 08:15 am)

Ellie Fearn on Social Conversation (Mon, 22 May 2017 11:57 pm)

Laura Taylor on Social Conversation (Mon, 22 May 2017 12:01 pm)

Karen Ankers on Social Conversation (Sat, 20 May 2017 10:12 pm)

Connorlannes on Social Conversation (Sat, 20 May 2017 09:54 pm)

Colin Hill on New York (Mon, 15 May 2017 09:42 am)

keith jeffries on I Observe the Fish (Fri, 12 May 2017 09:25 pm)

Laura Taylor on I Observe the Fish (Fri, 12 May 2017 12:15 pm)

suki spangles on I Observe the Fish (Fri, 12 May 2017 11:06 am)

Ellie Fearn on The Second Hand Guitar (Thu, 11 May 2017 11:52 pm)

Colin Hill on The Second Hand Guitar (Thu, 11 May 2017 08:45 am)

Colin Hill on How Does That Make You Feel? (Wed, 15 Mar 2017 08:21 am)

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