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Leon Redbone

 

We don't know

who you are man

but man can you

play guitar

with fine finesse

and black mustache

a showman's

what you are

that snazzy hat

part of your act

the mystery of

black shades

we tap our feet

to your blues beat

hope the music

never fades

the usual

ain't what you do

it's all part of

an act

yodelladyhoo

out of the blue

a fla...

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Passing The Buck

 

Call me old-fashioned

call me an idiot

but I still think

you should not buy something

unless you can pay for it

if you cannot afford it

maybe you don't need it

credit is easy but

debt is bad

sure we can pass the bill off

to whoever comes after you

but is that fair to our children

or their children?

how far down the line

can we pass the buck?

what w...

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Lifestyle

 

I eat whatever's in the fridge

whenever I get hungry

whenever the mood strikes me

I indulge

I don't do vitamins

I don't do Health Foods

they cost too much

and don't work anyway

I don't go to the gym

and I don't jog

I exercise by working outside

where all the sunshine is

sweat equity

perspiration is good for you

I don't eat healthy

that's why I'm he...

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The MightySneaky River

 

As long as the country

as wide as a mile

it flows downhill

from a spring in Minnesota

all the way to New Orleans

our road of commerce

full of freight and

busy with ships and barges

bumping into each other

with craft of all kinds

carrying cargo and passengers

up and down the length of America

all in love with steamboat memories

 

dams and locks and

...

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Percolator

 

A distant mumbling

pop popping

bubbling brew

each drop in the pot

brings the rich aroma

of fresh coffee

which scents the house

with homeliness

the pot speaks

in happy gurgles

how nice the sound

all is well with

the coffee on

that first cup in the morning

anticipated anxiously

now sipped deliciously

with warmer hands

and warmer spirit.

 

...

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A Baby's Not A Baby

 

The angry protesters

excuse it and warn

A baby's not a baby

until it is born

but heartbeats and sonograms

now sound the alarm

the truth is a baby's

a person unborn

 

They say Abortion's distortion

just use a better word

Extraction is gentler

and much more preferred

but there's no denying

that killing's not mourned

when a baby's not a baby

until ...

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Mom & Pop

 

 

The corner store

groceries and meat

butcher behind the counter

working away cutting steaks

the owner up at the checkout

only 3 registers

wife on #2

the kids stocking shelves

carrying out groceries

they lived upstairs

and were always there

worked everyday except Sunday

the whole family working together

friendly and kind and industrious

the corner ...

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Over My Head

 

I am a minnow

among many fishes

I swim in the shallows

where I know I can be safe

I hide in the weeds

my thoughts are never deep

I don't have the wherewithal

I am still learning how to swim

anything too deep

is over my head

it's obvious

from this poem.

 

 

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Grocery/Surgery

 

Walmart has groceries

meats vegetables milk

clothes computers

tires drugs

you name it

so I got to thinking about

what it was missing and decided that

what it really needs is an operating room

after all if you can get your pharmaceuticals

and groceries at Walmart

why not open-heart surgery

discounted of course

with a special break for Seniors

so that the ...

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Windows

 

 

first there was windows 2

then 3 and 4

then along comes  5 & 6

would you believe  7& 8

now we got 10

just how many damn windows

do we need

i don't wanna watch windows

and i don't wanna wash windows

Ten is too many windows to keep up with

how about just One window

that's right One window

would be fine with me

I can use old newspapers

to cover it u...

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Let Heaven Wait

 

Old age confirms

my destined fate

quite plainly now

I'm out of date

 

What I wanna do

I simply cain't

what I wanted to be

I frankly ain't

 

Now memories are

getting faint

I must admit

I ain't a saint

 

Age aches and pains

my main complaint

still I remain

let Heaven wait.

 

 

 

 

 

 


 

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Current Conditions

 

 

My walls are crumbling

my mental state bumbling

my steadiness fumbling

my condition rather humbling.

 

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People & Pets

 

 

We cannot help but wonder

in watching people and

their pets

 

how it is that

we have so much in common

are they copying us

or we them

 

they live in our houses

eat the same food

at times use the same toilet

watch TV by our side

 

pets ask for nothing in return

but pats on the head

an occasional treat

 

the oddest thing is

that afte...

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Car Company

 

We are a car company

known for futuristic cars

and futuristic promises

that we never live up to

we are also heavily in debt

because our government subsidies

ran out and now

we have to actually produce something

to justify our existence

it's not easy being a company floundering in debt

we promise our investors we will prosper

unfortunately our promises

are a...

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Ditz, The Dog

 

My dog won't fetch

and it won't sit

Obedience

not in his script

It's obvious

he's ill-equipped

My airhead dog

is just a ditz

 

Given a command

he gets an itch

When I say fetch

he just won't get

He doesn't know

which end is which

how dumb is this

my dog's a ditz.

 

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BENT

 

 

He had a literary bent

but was literally bent

with a swayed back

that went bad

after so many years

of work and abuse

now he spreads cream

on it at night

applied heat

which takes away the pain

temporarily

but after a while

the effect goes away

what lingers is the odor

of Eucalyptus.

 

 

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Who You Gonna Call?

 

Things go out on us all the time

they just quit working

one after another

the washer the dryer the fridge

the toaster the computer the car

the water heater the TV

even the lawn mower

our lives are nothing more

than fixing things

as they quit on us one by one

right after the warranty expires

they are members of

the United Brotherhood of Appliances

brother...

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A Sign Of God

 

Going past a church for years

the sign out front

was just a simple brick and mortar thing

with the name of the church

and the times of service

but not anymore

the elders of the church decided

they needed more flash more pizzazz

to attract customers

so they put up a Neon sign that flashes

in bright colors and fireworks

it's a real attention-getter

but do we ...

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How Many Kisses

 

How many dinners

has she prepared

how many toys broken

has she repaired

 

How many washings

of our dirty clothes

how many patches

sewn over worn holes

 

How many hurts

soothed by her loving care

how many heartaches

kindly repaired

 

How many kisses

has she given to soothe

how many hugs

to fend off the blues

 

How many kind words

h...

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How To Win A Poetry Contest

 

Write a poem

give it a confusing title

do not have it make sense

use a lot of obscure words

reference some philosopher

some line in a book

that shows how scholarly you are

use symbols

use metaphors

use drugs

make sure the poem does not rhyme

they hate rhyming

wander all over

make sure the meaning

is as obscure as you can make it

sign name

submit...

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Non-Fat Poem

 

There are those

who love to eat

and there are those who diet

or not eat

then there are those who

do not know where their next meal

is coming from

the world revolves around eating

those that eat

and those eaten

eat this thought

though it may be hard to swallow.

 

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The Vacant Lot

 

There is a vacant lot

right there between the Walmart and the Home Depot

a big open lot, about 2 acres, that is for sale but unoccupied

which means the flowers get a chance to bloom

in a gallery of beautiful colors

open to all who care to walk about and look

get a little dirt in their shoes

but one day the city came and posted a warning sign

then the next day the mower...

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Getting Out From Under

 

Instead of the homeless guy

sticking his hand out

hoping for a bill or two

why doesn't he put his hands to work

and clean up the God-awful mess

he left under the bridge

the piles of garbage

waste

feces

cans

plastic 

a trail of refuse that leaves the camp

looking like a garbage dump

a trail that starts with him

the Pigpen character

who carries his d...

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sorry

 

I am so sorry I wrote this poem

and sent it to you

I did not mean to burden you

god knows you have enough

to worry over

then I saddle you with this

you were hoping it was something unimportant

something frivolous

perhaps a video or a meme

or an internet joke

something inconsequential

that you could click out of in a hurry

and quickly forget

but it turned...

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I CAN STILL DO MANLY THINGS

 

like taking out the trash

retrieving the newspaper

putting on my Boxers

my wife is not impressed

she is still active

and thankfully tells me

what to do

if not for her direction

I would be lost

since most of the time

I cannot remember what comes next

such is the condition of

a man now gray and vision impaired

and with a mind that wanders

my wife remind...

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Who We Were

 

After they have burned all of the flags

and torn down all the monuments

and we have nothing left

to remind us of who we were

we will forget our fathers and

be set adrift on dangerous seas

with no pole or sun

to guide us

we do not know where we are going

or where we will end up

we cannot say we are

because there's no trace

of who we were.

 

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All Rights Reserved

it says

reserved for what?

we ask

we had reservations

we tell the waiter

we have reservations

about the guy dating our daughter

we have Indians on reservations

Englishmen

are rather reserved in their demeanor

all that being said

this poem is reserved

for jokers like me

and I reserve the right

to be one.

 

 

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Mother's Sewing Machine

 

The sound of mother's old sewing machine

whirring away like a miniature factory

still sounds out in my memory

when clothes were made

from yards of material

bought down at the five & dime

once made they lasted

became hand-me-downs

people wore clothes till they flat wore out

mom at the sewing machine

pedaling away into the night

till she ran out the spool

mak...

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Oh O

 

Oh O

round O

I love you

so

the more

around

the fonder

grow

round O

in words

provides

a flow

oh O

as smooth

a sound

I know.

 

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