Poetry Blog by Collin Pulmano

What am I to do? 

Anything at all? 

Is it any of my business? 

I've been gone so long. 

But I see it dying. 

I can't just let it die. 

But if it's what all others want

Then who am I to try? 

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I don't drink much

Buy when I do

I find honesty is easy to do

I realize people

Don't think much of me

Because I've chosen

To live my life fiddle dee dee

I'm no achiever

I'm just rot on a log

And I'm okay 

Cuz I'm happy mostly

But when I'm not

It's cuz the eyes have bored

Into my skin

Usually thick with stones

So what can I say 

Right now my blood sat...

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Submitted these to a literary journal. 

They said meh 😭

But you know what they say 

If you don't succeed 

Fail,  fail again 😂

I'm so tired of being ashamed

It adds to my weariness

So I'm not what everyone said I would be

So I'm not what I said I would be

Failure is just a preference for something else

And right now 

I prefer to just be myself

I don't have g...

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It's a dark room when it's formed by your actions

Just never knew where to stand

My mother always told me my mouth would get me in trouble

And so here I am,  using my hands

My words have no leash

They probably should have a harness

It's just way too early for me to have sentience 

I'm just mumbling around throwing apples at the wounds

I could keep going over

And then swi...

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Settling in to choices

The poison dripping through

The want anointed with restless

Lower feelings true

Burning with all the meanings

Arranged by three to few

What world climbs from the cliffside

To wash what shores can show

Years fleeing,  fearing backwards 

And all hollers falling free

What memory do I want

Can I keep and stick with me

Wood burning stove

And...

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Today is for today

The world may while away

But here it's just today

The heat builds and browns

The toast runs round and round

Time laughs at my face

And I rest in pace

What is it?

Another cloud past yellow

Curving over the horizon 

Where all the prettiest clouds go

There is no detail in memory

Just what mirrored in the soul

Reflecting out on all those 

Cr...

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Writing makes me so silly happy

I can't help it

It just releases the right things

Making my brain 

Go baddabaddabing

I know this is stupid

But I couldn't help it

I just wrote a poem 

And it just made me feel so much better

I'm excited

There's a smile on my face

My arms are tingling

And my feet are relaxed

Something about the words

Coming out and edited

...

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Slowly pulling myself up the cliff

Each inch closer to contentment 

It's what I want,  I swear 

I feel so bare

The darkness swimming to the surface

Soaking my skin

I'm beginning to forget 

That there's an end

It's not what I want

I want to float

This isn't my boat 

I don't get a boat

It's all sour, anyway

This lost poem

Left me alone in my head

Forgot t...

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I was a little disappointed in my memory today

Turns out one book was two books

Though probably because the events of the second book

Could have fit at the end of the first

Ahhh, editing

Research ruins childhoods

A movie you loved

When you were small

Watched with adult eyes

Oh, God, it's horrible

Hollywood doesn't ruin childhoods

It just displays the bad taste

W...

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I almost forgot

A late,  lazy day

Water's fresh 

Soup's away

Plan to play

It's all so quick 

To end

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All my power dims

In apocalyptic dreams

But I dig through the bins

The baby has to eat

Already dressed

But can't carry the seat

Have to use the jacket

A makeshift dream

They always come around and again

When I feel the doom knocking

Don't know which step to take

Just observing makes it change

Where in this reality

Could I ever be safe

The truth from my min...

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Madness is nice revisted in thrift

It was home to me once 

but now it is just a den

Of words that are spoken

To pass the time

Still too much fear of being open

Despite decades in lines

I wish it didn't make me so sad

I wish that line didn't seem so bland

But truly what else is there to say 

I see you, I love you 

But you are wasting away

Trivial pursuits

Why ...

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A slow drive in a familiar battle

And the quickest switch

It was such a subtle rememberance

But it opened the gates locked against you

How swiftly we forget

When years hammer down our grudges

How quickly was my descent

Into my own trapped madness

But that day

All those days

Windows down 

Music flooding swiftly out

My head on your shoulder

Your hand on mine

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This day

So many celebrate

But in between complain 

Give them holidays

And they're content to stay

Stagnate and play

Why complain?

I just want change. 

I want to fight

I want to see us choose

Choose what is right

You want rights? 

Then fight. 

You can't demand your rights

Then take away theirs

Everyone even

Everyone same

Everyone allowed

To pla...

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Skating around the jagged edge

I think I'm hoping I'll fall in

It's just subconscious, I tell myself

It's just my silly psychosis screaming 

I'll never be satisfied being myself

If I want to be am I? 

Can I simply choose my life 

What in this world makes me so fallen

Failing to pursue the visions in my mind

Two in the morning and I was just twelve

Dressing and fantasi...

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The simplicity of reading in bed

An old habit that has become novelty

Would that I always had a peaceful hour

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I have the feeling again

I need to bleed these words out of me

Now that I have reached that age

Spoken of with such pain and rage

Sitting here tippity-tap

Oh, what is it, dear?

It's me, it's me,

It was always me

And that is my deepest fear

What do we want

When we are so very small

Every coo, every crawl

Is a mountainous haul

And the cheers, oh they come!

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Slamming into my middle years

There has been a question that 

Has chased me incessantly

What do I want? 

What DO I want? 

For a while I was okay with I don't know

Or maybe

The world will show me

But lately it's become clear to me

Exactly what it is 

And the very excitement of seeing clearly

Has opened up my fear

Let it splay itself upon the concrete

Where it ...

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So what are you going to do 

Now that it's for sure 

The bridge has been pulled down

Lumped up

And burned

What are you going to do 

Huh

You gonna let it go now 

Back to the nothing

Back where it belongs

Separate from who you are 

Because you are so much more

Don't let it dishearten you, honey

It really wasn't worth it

And you know what

You didn't give i...

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I can't trust the lightning in my mind

It's a little crazy and tries to unwind

Anything that makes sense that keeps me safe

It cares but it rather not play

Why can't I be fine 

No

Why can't I be happy? 

No no no

It's the pathways

The networks

They'd die without the pain

Dry up with stability

They need the adventure of the risk

That what you fear will be right...

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I'm not sure I have a sword strong enough to fend off the axe

I only have the arsenal of time spent slack

I have only armor made of pretty wax

Scented like the yellow glitter roll-on 

I'm no one's sap

I'm a sap for all

Everything has its value

Everything has its flaws

I just get nervous when I argue 

Can't we all get along

Do I have to slice a scar

Down from your e...

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I've been asking myself a question, lately 

About what it is that I want

Because when I look inside myself

I see no aspirations of fame

No want for success 

Instead I see the plates of food I fixed

The worn pages of books I've read

I see a bright day and tall clouds

The wind blowing the pollen 

The sunlight cutting through

I see trees gnarled and thick,  muddy paths

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I have everything just right in my hand 

Everything I've ever had 

And I just don't want to be who my parents were

I don't want to know the mistakes and still make them

This is that time where time is giving me a grin

Superficial and evil and fun and filled

With the thought of endless happiness 

If only I fall

Fail and believe 

The tempting of the dream

The dream that...

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