Poetry Blog by Collin Pulmano

In the woods the darkness has fallen

And filled up the cracks between green with black

No eyes to reflect except hers

Hungry for any hint of light

The snap beneath her feet sounds

And rustles respond behind

She starts but trees won't let her flee

Faster than quiet caution breathes

She squats and leans against a trunk

And becomes as silent as the dark

A call echoes dow...

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I can't remember if I wrote about the pebbles

I think I did before

In the driveway 

Staring at the rocks

Why wouldn't I?

So pretty in the light

We were so fascinated

By the figs' white blood

Left the gate open

What have I done?

One shame at a time

Let go

Glide down the creek

To the swamp and sink

And years will dry

And some will weep

And rot will gro...

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It's a great day to be alive

And I'll never forget your smile

Driving us towards our fun delinquency

Joy singing loud the words of the song

Sun streaming through and turning black to gold

Notes bouncing out of my rolled-down window

If only that happiness could of stayed

The way my memory has of that day

What can children do?

Live and grow and try to make it through

Yo...

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What can this day

Say about love?

Where was I?

A few miles away

No power but safe

What I heard on the radio

The shock of those voices

What can this day say

About love?

Even now

They still feel it

That nothing shows love

Like mutual devastation

We cry for ourselves

But more for others

They cry as they try

To pull everyone from rubble

What can I say

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How to be clear?

It's very difficult, dear.

It's why it's supposed to be a part of your training

Yet somehow I don't mind

The idiocy unrefined

Hallmark of our time

And everyone up in arms

But why?

For the first time in my history

We are practicing persistent scrutiny

Both sides digging deep

But those roots aren't for each other

But the shrub above

The shrub i...

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I may be over-dramatic

But expressing real emotion has never been my strong suit

But I know he knows

And it might be the iridescent sheen

Of my youthful eyes' gleam

But he was always the pinnacle of a man to me

Kind and stubborn

Intelligent and well-read

He loved being outdoors

But would stay up late watching sci-fi

Why I tried not to fall asleep on the floor

Tinke...

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What is real?

Sometimes I can't tell.

I see things and wonder

But then dismiss it as other

It's just a coincidence

Nothing to do with that

Always just a question

Am I really wearing a hat?

Sometimes I wonder

If I knew all along

But the spirit that guides me

Warned me in song

That to see is one 

But to act will warn

That you may know

Only what you want

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It's just a little shake

A little tremble

It might subside

But it might just continue

Sleep might help

Or a banana

But the dark clouds gathering

Make it worse

I'm not afraid

I'm not afraid

I swear

I swear

I'm not afraid

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Use that u-sound

Stop changing my word

Don't bite for a pinch

Don't hate for absurd

And that same old song

You're still working on

Sounds new to my ears

Despite years of hearing

And singing

Humming under my breath

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Along the lines of curvy stories

All held in the hands shaped and worried

Begging and begging for their use

Knowing and loving the simplicity

Of just being a tool

How did that word become so negative?

Some just want to work

To have their skill

Guided by other's will

Because the happiness is helping

Rulers are so few

For they measure the material

But tools in the...

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It's funny how things creep in

Make a home and smile

And even more remarkable when

They decide all they wanted was out

Realizations take time

And sometimes I think they are just fine

Strands of webs seeming to block your way

But easily gone once you decide

To go ahead and try

And all the worry from indecision

Becomes awareness of its inattention

The web was never i...

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Missed a day

That's just the way

Consistency is not my strength

But I'm so much fuller

When time's not a ruler

Just a distant face

With a slight smile

Letting me know

I was here all along

Perfection in a moment

Bending out 

Then turning back in

Circling my heart

Letting me know I'm together again

If only for one more space

Of seconds' sweet embrace

L...

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The world is brighter when I move on

I have to let my tendrils loose

Hanging on to loves of my youth

Hanging on the dreams that I've used

Slowly each day I clear my way

Letting the clutter compost

And everyday I feel a bit better

When the world I see is clear

Free from what I thought I wanted

Free of what I expected

And every crow that caws at my cats

Reminds me of...

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My conversational habits are just

Bad

Bad, bad, bad

So unaware, so misplaced

So full of nothing but lines

Trilled then forgotten

Left to the atoms

To absorb their vibration

And see if they're worth spreading

Or dropping down to the floor

I don't want to speak, anymore

I'm just too unsure

But then I couldn't spout

Decorative sounds

That sound nice in my hea...

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I missed two days

I guess that's just the way 

The candle crumbles

Into night

As we light the coal

Char the soul

Us in the dark

Playing the spark

Knowing the strings

Vibrate when beat

With light fingers

I love this dark

So often a nuisance

But now a pleasant

Break from this reality

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Common themes scrolling down the page

Algorithmed just for my eyes

But there's a frustration with that

Assumption that the news is just

Another portion of consumption

Not nearly as nice 

As waking up in the den

Bleary-eyed walk to the kitchen

Where papers lay strewn on the table

And coffee filled the air

Oatmeal readily available

The crossword puzzle halfway done

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Ripped it up and threw it away

Because what can I say

When I can't move without words

Tripping me up and making me out

To be as my worst nightmare's account

What secret is worth the pain

Uncertainty builds in my heart

I'd rather let it evaporate

So I'll know calm

Though if I'm creating it all

It might just leave 

Only to allow some other harm

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Geode or Jupiter

I could not tell

If not for the little writing

Explaining it so well 

Carl wanted it to be a star

To fuel our endeavors past Mars

But we get pretty pictures instead

Just like the stones

In the gift shop

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I'm sure it was just a shadow running shy

Of a cloud moving quickly by

That caught me surprised

So high in the air

My shoes came off

And down in the grass

Feet bare in the cushion

Dew making it soft

So it wasn't that painful

When my hips gave way

And I fell fully

In the night shaded yard

There was nothing really

Just a shadow from the moon

Jumping me throu...

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I remember the heat of the fire

Pushing against the freezing air

Spinning to balance

My cheeks flushed then pale

There was never peace

Just the journey until comfort

Then about

And my warmth would bleed into 

The cold, cracked wood

And my shivering half

Would calm to the heat

Before burning returned

And the cycle repeats

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Just a few more minutes

And I'll be heading in

It doesn't seem like a danger

Just another day in the den

Of corporate iniquity

I don't mind being essential

I guess it's fine once or twice

But the things I've minded for years

Are now highlighted everyday

I want to find a use

Where I can still be a human

The first thing on my agenda

Once this all clears

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Writing this one early

Just to get it out of the way

I want the happiness of no distractions

The simple tick of savored time

A day like any other but more

More because it is

It simply is

The words can't be said

I can't see 

Everything

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Between the animals and the axe

A glittering rounded track

The glory of the weak

Where the tired find repose

And that which is simple

But so appreciated close

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The tunnel through the whirl

It's giving me the eye

Fluttering its lids

The light seeping through

Is every single goodbye

Waiting to layer

On this lull of life

I sink back through

The softness of the wall

That universe's hue

Is disconcerting

I want my stein

The kingdom I knew

The roses are blooming

I'm bound by them, too

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It's to ask which song is last

Do you ask?

Why would you have to?

I'm still in this everyday

The nightmare is clear as I say

To myself in this quiet

Recorded Robin's red riot

Splashing down the keys

You're still talking to me

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I'm really sorry about the tomato

I don't think I have all of my brain

Most of it is occupied with doubt

Worry and clouds

Of shaking emotions

Stirring me about

I imagine it's like that for many

Most and everyone but a few

I think it might be something scary

We all get our scary times 

What comes after

What comes due

What is this breeding

Traveling through

...

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Time moves forward and aches deepen

They line the veins moving down the leg

They shelter in small rooms by the spine

They tap, tap, tap right by the mind

And all the catch-up and maintenance and glue

It all just moves just one more minute

One more day through the loop

Once more and there's the picture of the room

A memory that will fade

Just like all things do

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It's not a figment of my imagination

These flowers bending down to my nose

And all the really real matters

They've been set aside for repose

If I come really close to the center

I'm afraid of what I'll find

Let me not use this time to wonder

Let me use it to refine

My habits of waking to happiness

My finger lingering in your hair

Paint used willy-nilly

No restricti...

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The smallest tendrils of smoke rising from the dying coals

Maybe I'm just too old now for passion

Maybe I've let my fear become my life

Am I any different since I've done it all to myself?

Am I any less selfish since all I do is display my emotions?

What is the meaning if I can't remember the words

Spoken to me early and quickly ignored

Blindly through feeling with no thought ...

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There is a key

Bright and golden

And it is lost in plain sight

No matter how it is seen

No matter how close

The hand can never reach its light

So instead it is a curse

A constant reminder

The way is clear

But it is impossible

So why seek the key?

Why go near?

Why give in to the pull

When it will never give

The click of freedom

The open door

Why try f...

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Robert took care of me as before
But first he had to find me
I think I had tried to fall
Off the cliff on which Anders had been camping
I didn't realize Robert had followed me 
I didn't realize I wanted everything to end

Life is not nearly so bright
With this blood on my hands
To go back or move forward
I feel chained to despair
I can't find the hold
But I can feel this wood
Gripping...

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Why was there no fight in him?
He woke and still let me in
To destroy everything.
Anders still gives me no peace. 
 

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What is this creature before me
April smells like a man
She's come to kill me
To fulfill her revenge

No rest for this violence
Beating against my skull
No rest for the hate
That drips and coils

From my impatience
From my selfish greed
From my indifference
From my need

No love, only passion 
Spent upon the wrong chest
And this womanly beast above me
Ripping through my whole sel...

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Twilight streams across the plain
Burning red to a dark blue stain
The breeze is slight
Just between my eyes
The barest cold cooling
But not taking the sweat away

I walked with no horse
I walked with no light
The moon was away
So only bright starlight
They spread above me
Singing true
To my heart
Tra la loo

Oh, villians fair
Fare thee well
Into the night
Into the pale
Depth o...

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I let Robert and Vera know he'd been found
I let them know I would rest before I went back out
I needed to be strong
I don't think I'll quickly have 
Such an easy chance
To get that close

Robert fixed me beans
And let me lay
On the padded blankets by
The flickering fire
Crackling limbs
Boiling water hissing silver

Sleep is such a wonderful thing
Too long or too short
Or just the ...

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And here I am
In this dark
And there he is
Padded and on guard
I see his movement full of thought
I see his breath 
Not quite soft

Maybe not tonight
Maybe he senses
All of my want
My need 
My attrition
It's been such a long, long trip
Just once more, sleep

I remember when Anders first walked in
So tall and pale and dark within
The depth of eyes that felt too big
When concentra...

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We tracked the town that Anders left from
And we all pitched in on a wagon
Ann stayed behind with her family
But Vera and Robert would not leave my side
They posed as a couple and I hid from sight
As we traveled through the coyote's howls
Our mules strong and maddened
And at night I would sneak
And search and seek
Any sign of Anders Hardwick

The trail has been so long I feel
My feet a...

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Just a few moments

That is all allowed

For me to have this feeling 

Before letting it fly to the clouds

Just a single thought

A slight smile

A crinkle

Under my eye as I let it loose 

The vibration of the sound

Flung from my lips

Into the wind

And I let it go

Because we all must let go

At some point

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April, dear, you must let go
April, please, please, let go
I don't remember how Robert pulled me free
I only remember him taking me home
Washing off the blood
And tucking me in to bed
He brushed the hair from my face
And kissed my forehead sweetly
April, it will be okay
April, please, just sleep

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Was there ever that moment

Where you decided 

Though nothing has changed

That you feel better? 

I still can't write about

My Grandfather without crying 

But maybe that's okay

Because the things he said

Are still bright words in my head

And I never want to lose that love

To time

See you later, Alligator 

Afterwhile,  Crocodile 

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What does the fox know of the bear?

And what does anyone know of care?

We can assume as much as we like;

Figure out if it's hate or like.

But there is no way to really know,

Except to ask,

And hope it's truth that spills

Forth instead of walls.

But who will be the first to say

The truth no matter where the cards lay?

Someone must have courage enough 

To be the fool...

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Vera was my brother's love
Loud and vibrant and cared little for chores
Wild as vine she was with him when
Anders mistook her veil for hair
And sunk in his knife as he pulled Tole off her

She screamed as blood spread upon
Tole's shirt and down the seam
In a rage Anders pulled his knife up
Splitting my brother's spine 
and then cut his throat

Anders ran as Vera screamed 
And Ann and ...

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When I walk out of those broken doors

And the cracking asphalt crunches

The wind blows across my face

Threading my eyelashes 

Filling my nose with the sweet scent

Of traveling atmosphere 

I feel the cool arms around me

And alone at the end of the night

I find the world with me

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Sometimes it goes down so easy

And in my thoughts I'm there

On my bunk in the dark reading

A grin on my face

Lesson learned 

A walk around the castle before rest

The nightmare will be relived

The hero will feel distress

What soothing songs does the dark swan sing

Into the depth of the clouds

What world does she open for me

Her mirror glimmering and unfurled

Bala...

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The puddle rises

But does not speak

It fills with murky

Silt and sleeps

Knowing the rain

Will not continue 

Enough to lead

It through the cracks

To fill the meadow 

And free its mass

That builds when the sun

Finally emerges

To dry and take

Away it's urges

The puddle waits

To be air again

To rise above

The trap within

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Song Three

My brother was just a year above me
Ann's age and her friend unending
We grew together in the same acreage of pine
Our families close together but not confined
The town was just there
So as we aged, all of us close to town became
Their scourge and joyful delinquents

Robert Hall and Vera Coal
April Dark and her brother Tole
We were spoiled with knowledge and good humor
By ...

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Gorgeous skies.  I love gorgeous skies. 

Skies that bleed the atoms dry

Skies so bright darkness turns

Skies of silver-gray filled doom

Skies so blue it feeds my heart

Dressed with clouds of feather stitched shards 

Blues so dark they are black at night

Filled with the bright pinlights of life

We know they're us in the skies

Just how we know we're us on either side

Of...

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I'm afraid of my mind sometimes 

It carries me away

Past the dim fog to the bright and shining

Fantastical mixture of influenced display

I want to own my sanity

Keep it locked and ready to go

But smoke leaks out

And there I stand

It twirling from my ears

And staining my grin

Never take me seriously,  folks 

I am not a single thing within

Instead I'm every past y...

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Song Two

She was the epitomy of the definition of beauty when you're young
The very bright, shimmering presence that turns play into song
The fall of a lock of hair upon her cheek
And the smile that speaks especially to the weak

As children our mothers taught us constantly
The rules of abiding by standards of society
A lady was one concerned for others comfort most of all
Before her pl...

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The Saga of April Dark
Song One

I sit here crouched in this night
I slowly breath and side to side
Rest my weight as I wait and wait
Wait for the moment the light has died
What tales my toil will make below
And how they're there I don't know
I'm just letting it loose to the wind
It keeps me warm against this dim
cold night I hide and wait and grin
Thinking of his death and thinking of...

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