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Soldiers In My Mind

I am at the pit of my breakdown

Saying goodbye to sleep I once loved

Food I could once eat without nausea 

Dreams 

That once allowed rest

 

Help me 

I pray 

Sitting on the floor sobbing 

 

Do I allow this pain to make me human

Or wish it away?

 

I bring these matters to You 

I cannot do it alone 

 

I’m still processing 

Picking out the safest part...

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Anxietyfearmental healthnightmarespain

Belief

the forgiving

 

are also, it seems, 

the confused

 

we can't quite figure out who to blame

 

we just know, it can't be ourselves

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forgiveforgivenesspainregretnew beginnings

Since Yesterday

When we were children, if things hurt us we would stop

Pricking fingers on roses, desperate to feel its softness, to smell it

We would be curious and we would get hurt and we would learn a lesson from that 

 

But as I've grown older

I've hurt myself further

I've clung to what we were as if I was gripping a rockface in a heavy storm

sometimes the storm wins

 

Everytime I ...

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belongingbreakingheart achehurtinglosspain

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