Poetry Blog by Brian Maryon
on Dogshit Hypocrite (5 days ago)
Last night in the House of Commons
when the Brexit vote was lost
I thought that I'd be gutted
but I couldn't give a toss
I stuck my fingers in my ears
and said la la la la la
then headed down to the Queens Head
to prop up the public bar
With a pint or two for company
I tried to find some solace
but then someone mentioned Brexit
so I kicked him in the boll...
Wednesday 16th January 2019 10:57 pm
When I met my future wife
she had tits like two fried eggs,
she wore a sign saying THIS WAY UP
whenever we had sex
But too many chips and burgers
make everything go south,
though I'm sure if she ever reads this
she'd smack me in the mouth
Tuesday 15th January 2019 7:47 pm
Near where I live there's a dog toilet called Tolladine Wood.
Everyone lets their dogs shit there
and they don't clean it up as they should.
They look around surreptitiously
before covering the crap with leaf litter
or kicking it into the bushes.
They're supposed to bag and bin it.
Why don't they play the game?
But guess what...I'm looking after my daughter's dog...
Sunday 13th January 2019 12:13 am
First tuesday of the month as always.
The barber sweeps the floor around the window chair, twice.
It is 9.55 am.
Diarmuid hangs his coat on the first hook
and sits in the chair.
He writes the time in his book.
The barber doesn't need to ask what he wants,
it's always the same
When it's finished he gives the barber the correct money.
The barber looks at him.
Wednesday 9th January 2019 12:02 am
I'm having a fling with a fantastic forty-year-old fat female from Farnborough. She's friendly, fun-loving and feisty. I'm fascinated by her full figure and the way she fills out her frock. We indulge in frenzied foreplay, we fornicate frantically and play find the fingammibob.
Unfortunately I am forced to finish the affair as it's costing me a flipping fortune. She's frequently ...
Saturday 5th January 2019 8:17 am
He educates the kiddies
And shows a duty of care
Who does he think he's kidding?
The MILFS are the reason he's there!
Thursday 3rd January 2019 10:59 am