Poetry Blog by Brian Maryon

Recent Comments

poemagraphic on Last Night's Brexit Vote (14 hours ago)

lisa donohoe on Last Night's Brexit Vote (1 day ago)

Brian Maryon on This Way Up (1 day ago)

lisa donohoe on This Way Up (2 days ago)

Brian Maryon on This Way Up (2 days ago)

Brian Maryon on Dogshit Hypocrite (4 days ago)

Taylor Crowshaw on Dogshit Hypocrite (5 days ago)

poemagraphic on Dogshit Hypocrite (5 days ago)

on Dogshit Hypocrite (5 days ago)

M.C. Newberry on In The Book (7 days ago)

Last Night's Brexit Vote

Last night in the House of Commons

when the Brexit vote was lost

I thought that I'd be gutted

but I couldn't give a toss

 

I stuck my fingers in my ears

and said la la la la la

then headed down to the Queens Head

to prop up the public bar

 

With a pint or two for company

I tried to find some solace

but then someone mentioned Brexit

so I kicked him in the boll...

Read and leave comments (2)

This Way Up

entry picture

When I met my future wife

she had tits like two fried eggs,

she wore a sign saying THIS WAY UP

whenever we had sex

 

But too many chips and burgers

make everything go south,

though I'm sure if she ever reads this

she'd smack me in the mouth

Read and leave comments (3)

Dogshit Hypocrite

entry picture

Near where I live there's a dog toilet called Tolladine Wood.

Everyone lets their dogs shit there

and they don't clean it up as they should.

 

They look around surreptitiously

before covering the crap with leaf litter

or kicking it into the bushes.

 

They're supposed to bag and bin it.

Why don't they play the game?

But guess what...I'm looking after my daughter's dog

...

Read and leave comments (4)

Sunday Rhyme for Trev

In The Book

First tuesday of the month as always.

The barber sweeps the floor around the window chair, twice.

It is 9.55 am.

Diarmuid hangs his coat on the first hook

and sits in the chair.

He writes the time in his book.

 

The barber doesn't need to ask what he wants,

it's always the same

 

When it's finished he gives the barber the correct money.

The barber looks at him.

...

Read and leave comments (4)

This Fling I'm Having

entry picture

 

 

 

I'm having a fling with a fantastic forty-year-old fat female from Farnborough. She's friendly, fun-loving and feisty. I'm fascinated by her full figure and the way she fills out her frock. We indulge in frenzied foreplay, we fornicate frantically and play find the fingammibob.

Unfortunately I am forced to finish the affair as it's costing me a flipping fortune. She's frequently ...

Read and leave comments (15)

OvereatingSaturday Rhymers Club

The Primary School Teacher

He educates the kiddies

And shows a duty of care

Who does he think he's kidding?

The MILFS are the reason he's there!

Read and leave comments (10)

First of the New Year

Welcome to Twenty Nineteen

The very first minute

A whole year left to do

better than this, innit?

Read and leave comments (2)

This site uses cookies. By continuing to browse, you are agreeing to our use of cookies.

Find out more Hide this message