Poetry Blog by Brian Maryon

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Jack, being a responsible lad, before going up the hill

took Jill to the clinic and put her on the pill.

But Jill, being a devious girl with her body clock ticking

didn't take the pill before she let him put his dick in.

Four months down the line she felt the baby kicking.


Jack went mad and said you've ruined my bloody life.

Jill said you can fuck right off I'm not your...

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JackSaturday Rhymers Club

Sex Offender

Jane had started it,

brushing up against the guys

and stroking knees suggestively.

She did it to him, he did it back to her

Everyone seemed to join in

It seemed to be harmless fun

When Laura got up to go to the loo

he slapped her on the arse


He knew it wasn't Laura

He knew it was Jude, her wife

She'd never liked him

Now he was on the Register


It had ru...

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I'd love to win Poem of the Week

to give credence to my stuff

but whatever masterpiece I post

it's never good enough


Maybe I'm too flippant,

perhaps they don't like rhyme

though if there was Twaddle of the Week

I'd win it every time

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Waiting to Leave Home

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As they waited

his eyes surveyed the room

at all the things she'd amassed,

so recently risk assessed.


She'd become a virtual prisoner

in the house she'd strived to own.

The house she'd made a home

was now a source of danger for her.


As he wheeled her out the door

she asked how soon she'd be back.

Couple of weeks he lied.

He felt his stomach churn.

He k...

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Leaving HomeSaturday Rhymers Club

Dare Not Post

I dare not post a remembrance poem

for fear of being shot down in flames

amid accusations of keeping my head

below the parapet of the trench

outside my twee cul de sac semi-detached


I'd be cut down in a hail of lead

for going over the top

and saying out loud

that poppies are red

and for disrespecting

the senseless dead

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Not Posh

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They spiced up our lives

those wannabe stars

One dose won't suffice

Zig a zig aaarrgghhh

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6-2 6-1

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As always he was relaxed and confident,

smiling, and with good reason - he always beats me

My normal strategy is damage limitation

Today was different, I had motivation

I hadn't played for a month

I was feeling good, no aches and pains

I had a new racquet with tight strings

I had new tennis shoes

I had nothing to lose


It started well - I took the first game to love


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MotivationSaturday Rhymers Club

Westonbirt Arboretum

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Arriving en masse in Barbour green

middle class mummies in SUV's

with kids named Willow, Sky and Breeze

allergic to various nuts and cheese

and designer dogs on ten foot leads

(tripping hazards for OAP's)

pooping in the fallen leaves

beneath the beauty of the trees

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Flu Jab

I had my flu jab yesterday

For free, I'm sixty five now

The nurse said - little prick

I replied - sod off yer fat cow!

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