Poetry Blog by Alexandra Parapadakis

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Recent Comments

Alexandra Parapadakis on We Feel (1 day ago)

Graham Sherwood on Where You Begin (1 day ago)

Ghazala lari on We Feel (1 day ago)

Graham Sherwood on We Feel (1 day ago)

Alexandra Parapadakis on We Feel (1 day ago)

Nicola Beckett on We Feel (1 day ago)

Alexandra Parapadakis on In Waves (Sat, 26 Sep 2020 02:01 pm)

Shifa Maqba on In Waves (Thu, 24 Sep 2020 05:00 pm)

Kevin T.S. Tan on In Waves (Thu, 24 Sep 2020 03:43 pm)

Alexandra Parapadakis on I've Been Wrung (Mon, 21 Sep 2020 03:16 pm)

Where You Begin

The first time

Is a pin prick

To unstitch

Your skin

To feel yourself

Begin

You search your being

You are it:

Coursing through yourself

The second time

You search inside

A stranger

Behind the corner shop

You find where he begins

Adrenaline!

But come back,

Stinking of rot

Void of thought

To feel what?

What are you searching for?

To begin ag...

Read and leave comments (1)

adrenalinealcoholanxietyattemptbegindepressionendfeelfindidentitymisunderstoodmisusenumbrebornrisksearchseekselfself destructionself harmsexstigmataboothrill seek

We Feel

Some time ago
My skin turned wooden
My feet moulded into one
Foot
I slipped
And smudged the painted grid
On the marble floor
Another time I fell
And did not stop
I rolled right off the board
It was not a conscious decision
To spectate rather than participate
But it happened
As it does to many
Who give up on giving
When you undertake solely seeing
You relinquish being
But not feeli...

Read and leave comments (5)

anxietybeingchoiceclosedcontroldepressionemotionlessfeelinternalintrovertlivenumbselfswitch offwall

In Waves

That phrase,
That phrase you love to say
It has become overdone, cliché
No, it’s not a phase
Wait,
Years, not days
And see
I will not change
Not this way or that way
Though I may grow,
I may expand in waves,
I will not change
To fit your phrase
I will only expand,
Expand in waves
Is that okay?
That I will stay?
That I won’t change?
That I can only expand,
Expand in waves?
Is th...

Read and leave comments (3)

acceptbisexualchangeempowerfreedomgaygrowidentitylearnlesbianlgbtqownpansexualqueerselfsexualitytake spacewaves

I've Been Wrung

Lick your fingers
Every last bit
Bend over
Take the hardest hit
Now, burn
And let me watch
Crumble
On the spot
Twist yourself in knots
I want the final drop
Then,
Become dust
Collapse and shed
Until the last sparkle
Of my Queens head
Is spent
Until the last glimmer
Of her glitter
Has bled
You belong to me
I own your soul
That is how
You line
Every pocket
With gold

Read and leave comments (2)

abusedynamicexchangeMoneynothingpatriarchypaypowerreducerelationshipruinsexusewrung

Who is the bully?

Yesterday, I cracked the whip
Over a poor man’s flesh
At his request
Yesterday, I dug my heels
Into the crotch of him
Because he asked
It hurt me to hurt him
But it would hurt him too
Had I refused
The thing about me
Is that I'm not
- Me, I mean -
I'm a chameleon,
Master of masks
Slipping on disguises
Like slipping on shirts
I am metamorphosis
Shapeshifter, am I
With wolf or doe ...

Read and leave comments (5)

bdsmbullydominationdominatrixdynamicfeminismhierarchymasochismmasochistmisindrymoneypaypervertedservicesexsordidsubmissivetoxictwisted

Reason to Stay

When sun comes against all odds

And the colours of life just pop

Or when the rain falls

It falls and falls

And you wet your lips

With piping hot tea

With warm biscuit

Savour the crumbs

Cosy and safe

In the arms of a jumper

The padding of the sofa,

Like a huge hug

Or when your face aches,

Your stomach vibrates

Because you are fighting to breathe

Through ...

Read and leave comments (1)

appreciatebeautychangedepressionhidden beautylifememoriesmental healthmomentsnostalgiapositivepreventionsuicidetomorrow

Anticlimactic

I know I traded something

A part of me

For the splendid splendour of money

I did that thing you shouldn’t do

I gave myself to him

You know, the soul

Cut a piece of myself out for him

You know, the heart

I cut a piece of myself off for him

(You know which part)

But I didn't feel a thing

I'm waiting to miss it

Miss this

Thing

I'm waiting for the pain

You...

Read and leave comments (2)

anticlimacticanticlimaxconfusionemptyethicsinternalmysterymythpainreactionsexsuprisetraumaunderstandingunique

Afraid Of the Dark

How many times must I rinse off the moon

And unpeel the stars from my skin?

Have someone ask what were you drinking?

How many times must I try clinging to lamp lights?

Try configuring keys into shining beacons?

I cannot see in the dark

Yes, blackouts steal my sight

But when finished,

I wake up feeling feverish

And fear ferments and festers

The night can be sticky

H...

Read and leave comments (8)

confrontationcopingdenialdrinkingexhaustedfeargalaxyInternalissuesmental healthmetaphormoonraperape culturescarredstarsstruggletrauma

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