T’Chrismus Gammon have gone spittin’ mad,

‘cos t’asylum seekers are gooin’  AWOL

fer Chrismus; aye, here in t’UK it’s reet bad,

there’s nowt reawnd ‘ere but strife on’ trouble,

so t’forinners‘re seekin’ asylum back whoam!

Gee Beebie News‘re ‘avin’ a meltdown,

they’re at it like rabid dogs wi’ a bone,

parliament’s an asylum, on’ t’loons‘re in charge,

con wi not send ‘em t’li...

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