Poetry Blogs (2020, self destruction)

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Where You Begin

The first time

Is a pin prick

To unstitch

Your skin

To feel yourself

Begin

You search your being

You are it:

Coursing through yourself

The second time

You search inside

A stranger

Behind the corner shop

You find where he begins

Adrenaline!

But come back,

Stinking of rot

Void of thought

To feel what?

What are you searching for?

To begin ag...

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adrenalinealcoholanxietyattemptbegindepressionendfeelfindidentitymisunderstoodmisusenumbrebornrisksearchseekselfself destructionself harmsexstigmataboothrill seek

A fight to survive

Seeing the beautiful sky,

From my dead eyes.

Wondering the beauty in the holy night,

Dark was the only colour which helps me to hide.

 

Hiding my sadness my sorrows my fear my cries,

Trying my best to keep the face with smile.

My hobbies,my joy, my emotions were becoming day by day a bit fewer,

Now I am just existing in the world, can't even face myself in the mirror.

 

...

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anxietydarkdepressionfearfighthatehelplesshelplessnessnightovercomeself destructionself harmself hate

Capricorn

Capricorn

I am a battering ram

Undulating forward with a willful lack of grace

Constantly pushing, pulsing

Headlong into an uncertain oblivion

Destroying myself

Taking pleasure in the pain

The anxiety

Destroying what once was beautiful

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anxietydarkdepressionself destruction

Love Conquers All

Sitting on the kitchen floor 

in the middle of the night

Pill packets to the left of me 

and a knife just to the right 

I was young, I was broken 

I felt I couldn’t win the fight

Hopeless and desperate 

I wanted a way out of this life

This wasn’t something new

there had been many other times

But usually the prescription drugs 

were enough to suppress the crime

T...

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blesseddepressiongratefulLovemotherhoodnegativitypainpositivityself destructionsonsorrowsuicidal

Solitude

I'm constricted by the fact, that life is to share,

I just see poor judgment, and a silly content,

of stay where you were hand, to raised and to forget.

Over bed or on couch, your time shall come next,

As the rest of your days, bad-thoughts, hopes and prays.

 

It is said that's not true, for you to be alone,

So to them I should say, my half never became.

I've been thinking ...

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couplehateinner thoughtslovepeace of mindself destruction

Released

I am the wind

you are the ash,

the gust swept remains of a long awaited death.

 

I am the world warmed,

thanking the dawn after a long

visionless night,

 

I am that rejoicing bird

flying over your grave.

 

I am the sun,

setting above the black valleys

from where I rose - the lightness 

you couldn't hold,

 

you were the darkness exposed.

 

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self destruction

New Wounds

Fetch the scissors
Bring the knife too
I've found something 
for me to do

Watch the blood drip
Make a red puddle
They all seem to judge
Without knowing the struggle

If they can all hurt me
I can hurt me too
I feel like I deserve it anyway,
That's why I do what I do

"Attention seeker"
That's what they label me
But they don't know
What I have to see

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anxietydepressionself destructionself harm

Blood Knot

I got a taste for blood last night.

It wasn’t yours,

It wasn’t his,

It wasn’t hers,

No.

I got a taste for blood last night and it was my own.

Sometimes I consider draining myself dry,

Sucking myself into sand

Come, watch me crumble.

I got a taste for the blood which runs

From my lips.

But nobody ever described self destruction like this,

I never considered I mig...

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blooddarknessenjoymentpleasuresadismself destructionspirallingstruggle

did I ever say I was “good people”?

did I ever say I was “good people”?

some days I miss the hasty shouting

the crack of fist on salted cheekbones

 

better that than the nauseous choice

of considered upholstery or designer phones

never weather appropriate, rather, accident

 

ripped and bleeding, waiting for some other

and days my head will fill with men of war

always in shock yet mostly in awe

 

a...

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agingdespairlonginglossself destruction

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