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BLACK CABS

 

MY HOLIDAY


Travelled up upon the train, all was very good
it brought me in to Sheffield, exactly as it should

I got into a big black cab, outside the station door
from there i had a journey, as i'd never had before

The driver was a lunatic, either that or drunk
to make my journey even worse, he positively stunk

The traffic was quite heavy and very very slow
so he drove up on...

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funnytruelife

A really bad day...

A REALLY BAD DAY


I got up really early, the sun was in the sky
I thought "i'll do the laundry,i'm bound to get it dry,
 
I sorted out the lights and darks, and put the first load in
It washed it and it rinsed it, but then refused to spin.

In anger and frustration, I opened up the door
the water left the washing and drowned the kitchen floor.

I went to make a coffee and the kettle b...

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comedyfunnypoememotions

Letting off steam

A Local Earthquake Today Inspired Me...

 

Fracking caused the earthquake

Lacking caused their heartbreak

The Magnitude of their

Solitude

Hit the Richter scale

Yet molten heat's

Release

Showed more

To them

They still made

The earth move

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Newsfunnyseriousrelationships

The Band With Five Hands

Little Jimmy Bailey a wavertree lad

Lived with his brothers and a drunken dad
His mother walked out she couldn't cope
Never even left them a bar of soap
So little Jimmy with the dirty face
Wore shoes with holes and only one lace
Quick witted and fast good with his hands
Made a gutar from a box and lazzy bands
Oh he loved a sing song young Jimmy did
He wrote songs in his head since he wa...

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bandfunny

Pig on trial

It's hard to live a making, hard, hard to make a living

even without the exorcist interferes. I've been a fog

harmer, a hog harmer. I have hogged farms all my life

and my father's life before that. I'm so mad I can't talk right

and the priest will probably say I'm witch crafted too.

 

I've already paid the lawyer more than the pork

is worth. The lawyers available to represent ...

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biblepigjokeword playdeathfunnytrial

A turkey in sheep's clothing

"Fattening up time" the wall calendar read

which meant only one  thing to old farmer Ted.

Christmas was coming and there's money to be made

you see the bigger the bird the more he'd be paid.

 

He'd saved up all year and bought high quality feed

to ensure that his flock was the best he could breed.

So this year Ted's turkeys would be the tastiest in town

and the best biggest...

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TurkeyChristmashumourfunnystorynarrative poemfarmer

GOD Bless

 

Surely, I'm not happy 
To lose the best friend 
It is true, not funny 
"GOD" put the final end 

Certain hour, of the day 
Whatever we are or where 
We have to say Goodbye 
"GOD" is kind and fair 

No one plans to die 
No one remains forever 
No When , Where or WHY? 
Let's pray, no suffer

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bestcertaindaydieendfairfakefinalfirstforeverfriendfunnygainGodgoodbyehappyhourkindlastliveloseplansprayremainsadsayserioussuffertrue

Writer's Block

When you get writer's block
go for a walk

find a friend 
have a talk

blow bubbles
spin a top

count stars
watch birds flock

whatever you do 

don't stare 
at a blank page

as the clock
goes tick-tock. 
 

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