Poetry Blogs (2018, anxiety)

One Step Closer

I'm running away scared 
But trying to find the light
They hurt me too hard.
Standing here from this height
If I had the courage to do it
I could float among the stars
My chest forming in a pit, I sit.
I'm broken in two halves.

How did I get here?
I truly tried to fight it
Even kept denying it
I can't even hide it

I'm shaking but holding on tight 
The ledge is sturdy but it's high...

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anxietybattlesdemonsDepressionleap of faithmental healthpainstarsstruggles

Distrust is a bad trait

Performing an intrusion

 

                     Could damage the illusion

 

                                           Leading to the forgone conclusion

 

                                                                                   That I might just lose you.

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anxietybad pastcheating exDont betray trust or trust shall betray youlesson learned young and never to learn againlet old paranoia restlovesee no evilSnooper no snooping

2am (Too Many Thoughts)

Its 2am
I'm lying on the bathroom floor again
Heavy breathing, I got pills in my hand
Shaking and waiting for the sandman
To take me to sleep so you can understand

This is not a claim to fame
Only an attempt for you to remember my name
When you see me in the headlines saying "He wasn't okay"
Oh you miss me now? Ain't that a shame.

I'm not coming back, there is no replay
You can't take ba...

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anxietycant sleepdepressionEarly morningthoughts

Can't Escape

You try to escape the demons

But they latch on way too tight,

Their claws digging into my body

And mind, with all their might.

 

Fighting is exhausting,

It physically and mentally drains.

But still I endure it, hoping

One day I will finally escape the pain.

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anxietybattlecan't escapedemonsdepressionexhaustedhopeillnessmaniamental battlemental healthmental health issuesmental illnesspoetry and mental healthptsdrage

Real Life Nightmare

Every moment to fear,

Forever holding back internal tears.

Life- so complicated,

forever indecisive.

The world too big, too scary,

my mind so full of queries.

Never certain, never happy,

each decision could be deadly.

An escapes impossible,

every outcomes implausible.

Sinking under water,

Always being taken for a martyr.

The pain runs so deep,

Barely able to ...

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anxietybattlecomplicateddangerdarkdeepdesperationdestructiondrowningemotional painemotiveescapefearFrom the hearthopeindecisiveinternal battlemental healthmental health issuesmindnightmarepoetrypoetry and mental healthsanitysinkingsubconsciouswar

Be kind.

Her hair covered

Her head down 

A baby in the push chair 

Not one familiar place around.

 

The shop girl served her,

Speaking loud and slow 

The lady understood 

What their was to know.

 

I sensed a patronising tone,

As the shop girl spoke 

The lady didn’t realise 

The condensation invoked.

 

The man with the tattoos

Stared and screwed up his face 

...

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anxietybe kindcompassionculturedestructiondifferenceEarthempathyEnglandequalityfearlovepeacerefugereligionunityWar

My Body

My hands is where it starts

The heat of the fire

Ignited there

 

My fingers betrayed me

Now with a mind

Of their own

 

They torment me

Driving me insane

Slowly

 

My heart starts to race

A speed my body isn’t

Prepared for

 

My blood runs everywhere

With a temperature

Way too high

 

They torture me

Crippling my movements

Immediately

...

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anxietybodybody partsnervespanic attack

Insomniac?

I rely on sleep

It’s the only thing

To keep thoughts at bay

Hours when my mind

Releases its grip

That strangles my sanity

 

Now, in its own

Sick and twisted way

Keeps sleep at bay

My mind is evolving

Tightening its grip

And slaughtering my sanity

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anxietyinsomniainsomniaclifesleeplessstressthoughts

Chronic

I have recently read
That pain is the hardest
Situation a human can
Try to explain.

If that’s so,
Is fear considered 
To be pain?

Does pain have to
Be a broken bone?
A head ache?
A tight chest?
A burn?

Is pain not
The anxiety of waiting
For everything to fit?
Is pain not
The force of trying 
to piece together 
two completely different
puzzles to become one? 

I can never...

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anxietyanxiousdepressionfearfeelingspain

plastic protection

your toothy grin
is only cotton
trying to blow down this brick
house I have crafted

you were included in the blueprint
until I started changing 
the locks 
and now you're waiting for
an open door

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anxietybrokendepressionhopeless romanticlovesad

Nerves

It’s almost as if you’ve been 
reborn.

The moment 
you can take a breath
without feeling yourself
drowning.
Cement is no longer
running through your veins
slowing every movement,
because now it is only gravel.
Your head is now 
not filled with buzzing static,
and instead 
the distant sound of 
electric storm clouds.
Enraged fire 
replaces the
sleeping snow.

You are finally se...

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anxietydepressiondescriptivefeelingshappinesslifelivingpoemsrecovery

(Tell Me)What I Want to Hear

Please tell me if 

Please tell me now 

Have I suffered enough 

Have I fallen to the ground 

It feels like I’m falling still 

 

I’ve cried for help haven’t I 

Was I not that loud 

Do I even deserve the help 

Guess I’ll just shut my mouth 

 

I’m not okay 

Please just tell me I’m not 

Tell me 

It won’t be fine 

Admit that 

That’s alright 

 

I don’...

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anxietydepressionfeargiving uphopelessness

Love's Just a Feeling

Loves just a feeling 

It often changes 

It may go quick and crash 

Or keep you waiting 

 

It's a good high 

But the fall is pretty harsh 

I wouldn't want to get hurt 

I'm not too fond of goodbyes 

 

People say I haven't tried it 

And thus should with them 

For that I spew excuses 

And yet they still go at it 

 

I don't believe anything could ever last 

...

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anxietyfearheartbreakloverelationshipromance

Mixed Feelings

You're so annoying 

And so distasteful 

You won't stop talking 

I hate you very much 

 

When the rain has finally come 

You'll sparkle like the sun 

And when I'm working 

You'll go…right ahead and call me 

  

You drive me crazy 

I think I've gone insane 

I just want to be lazy 

But you'll drag me out to play 

 

People say I ain't perfect 

But you'll ...

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anxietyfriendshiplovemixed feelingrelationship

Fear of Dream of Love

Yknow its been awhile 

Since ive dreamt a good dream 

Most are just filled with running 

Abuse drowned out by screams 

 

And ok maybe this was not too different 

Here, I ran from screams too 

But the most significant 

Was that I didn't bother to leave you 

 

It's been awhile, yknow 

Since I've typed out my feelings 

I don’t know why I stopped 

It must be the ...

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anxietydistrustheartbreakloverelationshipromancesingletrue love

Walls

Walls

 

White walls

They’re closing in

I’m trapped between

Smooth

Unbreakable

Perfect

 

Walls

 

Closing

No doors

No windows

No glimpse of life

Outside of these

 

Walls

 

They’re moving slowly

Closer to me

Ensnaring

Moving to kill

 

Walls

 

Try to break them

Rigid

They will not yield

 

Walls

 

Suffocatin...

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anxiety

Grey

my anxiety is a burden I can no longer carry

bones and muscles this weak were not designed for this 

I was not born for this 

 

like the ocean, my anxiety washes over me 

soaking each tissue of my being 

forever drowning without being able to come up for air

 

I am not defined by my mental health

or by the tremurs or leaks that escape from my body 

but often sometimes...

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anxietymental health

Escaping the darkness

She has dark days and dark nights, and bright days and starry skies. He was diluting the darkness into brightness. But then he became annoyed at her darkness and started to see it all the time even when it wasn’t there. He would poke and prod for it, he was finding boxes of darkness that didn’t exist until he started creating them and suddenly she had more to carry than she realised. He was shouti...

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anxietyEmotionalescapefreepainrelationshipsstrong

Momma, I Can't Knock Them Out.

Don't call it a comeback
My depressions been here for years
I still smoke myself to sleep
And calm my anxiety with 3 or more beers

It's just goes to show
That I should stay in my lane
I stare at the bottom of an empty bottle
Just to focus on something other than pain

I knew it'd come back
I knew it was too good to be true
Depression isn't a state of mind
It's something that controls you

...

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a comebackanxietycalldepressionDontit

So Unpredictable

25/10/11

So unpredictable.

So sharp and so cunning

Is the pain that run through me,

Hideous yet so stunning.

 

I want to keep it here, 

I want to feel it's cold aching

Blood spilling from me

My heart is still breaking

 

What if I want it to stop?

Please, leave me alone!

It'll be there. Waiting.

For me to decay down to bones. 

 

Maybe that's what I wa...

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anxietydeathdepressionlifemanic depressionmental healthmental illnessmy past experiencepainpastpast eventssadnessself harmsuicide

Punk Rockers Don't Sing The Blues.

Put on my pants
Put on a show
Fake a smile
No one will know

Don't show weakness
Fake my emotions
Bury my anxiety
Just go with the motions

I gotta play fast
Need to sing out of tune
Because don't you know
Punk Rockers Don't Sing The Blues

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anxietybluesemotionlessPunkrockershowsing

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