Poetry Blogs (2017, anxiety)
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It’s so tempting to call you
There’s a voice screaming at me to just
Pick up the phone
Just pick up the phone
Against every urge
I’m silent, all except these prose
I must stay silent
Wait for what?
For the message, the text, the phone call
Another voice tells me
That will never happen
Selfishly, I want you to miss me
I want to make you miss me
Sunday 26th November 2017 3:22 am
adhd anxiety but i refuse to act selfish anymore d depression heartbreak i am allowed to have selfish feelings i miss you i miss you already long distance love miss selfish Sometimes I wake up still thinking of you thinking of you this is my outlet z
Wind rocks my boat tonight,
Sitting on this bed I feel little more than whole,
The nausea creating holes in my fickle heart.
Father walks cold in the streets of Paris,
Back turned to me,
I wander further upon this ragged terrain.
Distant memories fading yet again,
For in the presence of men and wind,
My skin becomes fatal.
The very blood,
Wednesday 22nd November 2017 7:47 am
i am never one to say ‘i was only kidding’
i am the type who experiences guilt
physical and mental
never mad at those who snap at me
patience is something that i need
Monday 20th November 2017 8:54 pm
When the night doth come, weary follows distantly.
Toiling farther from the dawn with each passing sunset, offers not the distraction so sought out by its woeful captor.
With worried mind and worried soul and yearning for slumber. Not for rest, but for release.
Relentless is the repeat of ruminating reasoning. Soul wrenching speculation scews sensibility, until slowly and sluggishly sle...
Monday 13th November 2017 12:48 am
People born unequal is a matter of life,
The seeds of despair are set to ripen beneath the full moon.
Arrogance flourishes from the talent of the few,
Oh how they stand so tall and watch great flames over small mountains.
Your great starlight showed me a path,
I thought I could see myself in the mirror of your eye,
I see now that you are who I wished myself to be,
Monday 30th October 2017 3:28 am
Swiftly in the breeze,
Greatest tides crash,
Children playing softly in the sand.
Geese flock in arrows and the sky so warm,
I witness the power of sanity,
Yet I recoil from it in unforgettable agony.
The truth is that in this world,
You become what you are,
And you die that way.
I must disagree,
For even if the great moon shining in the sky collapses into the ocean below, t...
Saturday 28th October 2017 7:26 am
When you look at the water
From the specific position of the diving board.
It stays still with the silence of god himself, unmoving despite the world continuing.
It was noon, and the lifeguard made a joke.
"Be careful, there's a shark in the water!"
I could see all the way down past the top of the water to the mid-blue circle spiral encompassing the 'deep bowl' of the pool.
Monday 16th October 2017 4:14 am
I’ve seen you enveloped in passion
Entranced and wandering aimlessly
In all consuming lust as you fold
Into taut skin stretched over
A well-tuned bicep shimmering
With the sweat of ones who
Would possess you,
Confiscate your love,
Loyalty, lust, passion, devotion,
Breasts, lips, thighs,
And even your new mountain bike.
I’ve seen you capitulate to complete
Thursday 28th September 2017 12:35 pm
Feel Like I'm Crazy
The doctor tells me "it's Fibromyalgia"
I've never heard of it before
But I think finally I have an answer
For all of my pain
But it doesn't take me long to decipher
It's something that they can't explain
Do they think that I'm insane?
They don't understand it
There is no cure
It's a curse not an answer
And I don't know how much more of this I can endure
Friday 22nd September 2017 5:04 pm
My poetry's hollow and null
And like my life it is quite dull
So I ramble and cry
And I wish to just die
While I ponder why I've not been culled.
And yes even so
I continue to write words
With no direct form
Rhyme scheme, structure, they mean very little
To a person who has no control of their life
And apathetically watches as he carries on strife.
And in a rotted hole, th...
Wednesday 13th September 2017 12:23 pm
Shallowly sagging in vicious winds of a cold autumn night,
The grass vibrates me a tune as I wander forwards through green and yellow forest,
Blissful mist of rain creating small fluorescent puddles on my skin.
The acidic thorns of men once stood behind the walls of fantasy seeping into the water,
Scorching my skin,
Red splotches ooze remnants of a world once to have been seen ...
Thursday 31st August 2017 8:24 am
Wednesday 5th July 2017 4:42 am
It's smaller on the inside,
Come and be my guide.
The lock shrinks the place,
to such a tiny space.
The space is retreating,
It stops your heart beating,
Room starts swimming,
Constricting air thinning.
Can't help feeling sickly,
I need to get out quickly,
It constricts your chest
Lead weight thermal vest.
Sweat covers my brow,
Need to get...
Monday 3rd July 2017 2:14 pm
Must touch once, twice, thrice!
Otherwise I must pay the price!
Penetrating thoughts that won’t go away,
Compulsions that haunt me day by day,
Anxiety comes, anxiety goes,
Got guilt, depression and so much obsession.
Please leave me!
Thursday 29th June 2017 1:54 am
Subtle and nearly invisible at first,
slowly crawling over my skin,
forming fractols of scars.
entrapping me inside my own body,
crushed under the broken glass
penetrating through every inch of exposed skin,
deepening with every thought unsaid,
every night of comfort you missed,
every casual remark you passed.
My silent screams ring in my ears
Monday 15th May 2017 5:40 am
"Like a house of cards,
one blow from caving in..."
I sing heavily alone in our house,
carrying the weight of our dead
friendship in my voice,
hopelessly waiting for a familiar hug,
a touch of warmth to lighten
the evergrowing darkness in my mind.
I can still feel the love in our captured memories,
hear the leaves rustle with a deafening reminder
of the time I forgot how to spe...
Friday 12th May 2017 5:19 am
Wednesday 26th April 2017 8:36 pm
the mean voice inside my head,
a monster tormenting me.
You are lurking in the darkness,
waiting for the moments when I'm weak.
When I am feeling down,
that's when you speak.
Won't you stop?
for some peace.
And I keep telling myself
Wednesday 26th April 2017 4:59 pm
Tell me I'm broken
Tell me that it's too late to glue all the pieces back together
Like a shit mosaic we made when there was nothing better to do
My body is a vinyl that no one's played in years
Scratched and distorted but the music is still the same just heard by different ears
If my body is a temple in which my mind is the God of it's intention
Then I must surely be an athiest...
Saturday 14th January 2017 11:52 pm
A brain that’s been tapped and tinkered is suddenly transformed.
A soul that’s been prodded and pulled is carefully put back in its place.
Thoughts have been dusted and polished and put away in their boxes.
A gut that been untangled, unknotted, instead now tied in a bow.
But then the scars to the brain have split.
The crack in its box is on display.
A scratch to the soul wan...
Wednesday 30th November 2016 2:43 pm
It is the assumption that people tend to reflect and contemplate in the dawn of the night
When noones awake to hear the sorrow in your sobs
When it's too dark to see the weakness in your eyes
And your lonliness enables your imprisoned vulnerability to surface
But what happens when this negativity suddenly seep its way into the happenings of your everyday life
When these mor...
Wednesday 16th November 2016 8:36 pm
I'm lying awake at 3am
Why am I never intoxicated with positivity?
Why aren't I a fountain of enthusiasm?
Why can't I see the euphemistic light in this unilluminated darkness?
I'm lying awake at 3am
All of my uncertainties are overwhelming
The formidable anxiety I've become acclimated with seeps in through open wounds
And yet I've learned to find tranquility in this res...
Wednesday 2nd November 2016 8:04 pm
This one comes from some older stuff of mine, written whilst dealing with what i didnt realise was a depression / anxiety disorder at the time. Thankfully now its under control, but reading this back makes me remeber just how black things were back then.
Darkness; continuous, deep, perpetual darkness.
Constant. Soulless. Empty dark space.
It laps at the edges, frayed edges of my c...
Saturday 15th October 2016 11:56 am
I used to think writing was an escape,
But i now realize that it has never been anything more than a device to feed into every word that I use to bring the emotional drain that is my heart and mind to a story between the paper and ink.
It seems that the lights flickering above me have more meaning,
At the age of seven, I was told the truth as to where my father was and why i never hear...
Saturday 6th August 2016 11:24 am
Unbroken stares into the cracks of my ceiling,
I stare at every single imperfection as if they were calling out my name,
Perhaps it resembled a metaphor of my negligence to cope,
I am but a mold composed through the mind of depression,
I am empty and I am broken,
Perhaps I'll stroll to the pond and hope the gray clouds part,
I'll continue to sip the sorrow i...
Monday 25th July 2016 6:21 am
Fetch the scissors
Bring the knife too
I've found something
for me to do
Watch the blood drip
Make a red puddle
They all seem to judge
Without knowing the struggle
If they can all hurt me
I can hurt me too
I feel like I deserve it anyway,
That's why I do what I do
That's what they label me
But they don't know
What I have to see
Monday 25th July 2016 5:44 am
Writing gives me the power to express how I am feeling without actually having to say,
I have a pen, paper and 24 hours in a day.
Although I keep my silence, I can still let it all out
I could talk about the blood, sweat and tears but they're all visible signs.
The things I need to talk about are all in my mind.
I find it so difficult to trust family and friends
but have no prob...
Saturday 23rd July 2016 4:59 pm
I've reached my goal weight
I think to myself
But don't ask how I did it
You don't want to know
That depression and anxiety
Is causing my body to change
That trips to the gym
Are only to get through the mundane
Don't tell me I look good
Because deep down inside
Looks don't really matter
When your life is full of pain
Sunday 19th June 2016 2:12 pm
Wednesday 1st June 2016 11:35 pm
going from one terminal to
another terminal like a zip of current
the electricity is in the air
and it feels terminal like the death of me
a suspension of disbelief
and can this be real?
The sky is a pocket of trust
a slipstream, a dream
as I watch the backs of heads
thinking forward motion or not at all
and the outside is looking in
through bulging eyes...
Wednesday 25th May 2016 10:34 pm
5th grade was my downfall
Anxiety coupled with A.D.D
Made for the perfect broken marriage.
6th grade was calm.
I had everything under control
And I was taking medication
But 7th grade was morbid.
One only the devil could produce,
Had arrived with the diseased name
8th grade was the year Depression made friends
Wednesday 13th April 2016 4:30 pm
Every morning indecisive and overwhelmed
Who should I sit by?
The question is,
Who would want to sit by you?
I mean, No one wants to,
And you know it.
That's not true.
I've got plenty of people who wouldn't mind me.
There’s the girl I sit next to in class
And we talk from time to time.
Oh, and don't forget the boy who waves hi to me i...
Thursday 7th April 2016 3:27 pm
Who am I?
Who are you?
Who are we?
I don't know who I am.
I don't know who you are.
I don't know who we are.
Am I me?
Am I you?
Am I we, us, them?
Too many thoughts whirling in my mind.
Infections of madness consuming me.
I thought I knew who I was.
Thursday 7th April 2016 3:19 pm
How can something so sweet, be so bitter?
Your love was something special, it has never withered.
The night sky comes creeping in as a shadow
As soon as the light is gone, my smile fades
The true side of my heart turns old and gray
For I do not wish to keep living this way
The bottle has been too friendly to me, these last couple days
Morning breaks, another night accompl...
Friday 11th September 2015 4:23 pm
The crack of dawn, yet absent of light
Darker than the hours preceding
Only one could dread a new day
But it's a constant battle and endless fight
To rise from this dungeon
To enter this isolated Hell
The morning is slow, yet all too short
Lead weights on all limbs and eyes
No routine, but a mission
To begin each day, Only to distort
The true soul trapped inside
Tuesday 18th August 2015 4:09 am
The warm and jolly streams of wind
Are finding paths all through my hair
Just to escape the summer sun
And hope that it won't find them there.
They played this game all through my past,
But for today I couldn't care.
I have a problem on my mind
Thant won't disolve in boiling air.
I dream of rest for broken minds.
I dream of peace inside my head.
The one I ...
Friday 22nd May 2015 3:43 am
Right now, there is a battle being fought which you won’t be aware of.
It isn’t the war to end all wars, but it’s one you will have heard of.
It’s called anxiety.
Like a wolf spider, it lurks beneath the surface of society
ready to catch its victims off guard,
often leaving their mind permanently scarred
when it chews them up and spits them out.
Worry, anguish, fear, self-doubt
seem to h...
Friday 10th April 2015 1:29 pm
Wish I could turn it off
Voices echoing around
Wish I could reboot my brain!
I keep it all inside
All my worries
But I'm scared Scared I'm going to crack up
There's only so much I can think about
Keep it bottled up
Even though it's not healthy
I need to release the cork
Don't want to be in that dark place again
Friday 13th February 2015 4:03 pm
They say, "When life gives you lemons, make lemonade."
You start slicing those lemons
Where's the first aid?
The lemons are too sour to put in a drink
The sugar runs out
The water rusty from the kitchen sink
The lemons keep coming
They're heavy to hold
From innocent lemonade stands
To bags of lemons turning to mold
Wednesday 7th January 2015 5:32 am
Wednesday 25th June 2014 11:53 pm
Oh this unwelcome thing in my head has returned on this beautiful July summers day. I felt its onset, of this thing, last night. My sleep was troubled. Like a few rough waves before the cyclone hits home. An hour ago it hit me, a varied mental assault. Anxiety machine gunning my mind. Taking no prisoners here.
Hidden inner darkness rattles its lid and wants to escape the box. F...
Monday 22nd July 2013 7:09 pm
Go to the door
Go back to the door
To lock the door
Did I Lock The D...
Wednesday 24th April 2013 12:59 pm
A winter bite that
mocks the spring, pincers its cocoon.
A life supported?
Cease one's internal decay,
Even ice melts. Love's fluidity.
Thursday 11th April 2013 6:14 pm
Anxiety Care Caring Cocoon Compassion Compassionate Considerate Depression Discover Discovering Discovery Grow Growing Honesty Ice Learn Learning Life Love Loving Melt Mental Health NaPoWriMo Nurture Nurturing Pain Self-belief Self-doubt Self-esteem Spring Suffering Support Supporting Thaw Winter
Saint Stephen's tale
It's Friday, sweets from Mrs Smith
Degeneration X and anarchy
Frankie's words: two tables, four chairs, suspension.
Discovered passing the buck, and thus passed it.
Stole the show with Twenty-one Questions, four dancers, and a singer.
First girlfriend changed everything, "You're young, she has baggage - get rid..." … did...
Sunday 7th April 2013 3:01 pm
Anxiety Arguments Birthdays Candle Childhood College Degeneration X Depression DX Fathers Fights Friends HBK Homelessness Hostel Light Lord of the Rings Loss LOTR Love Memories Memory Mordor Mothers NaPoWriMo People Phoenix Poetry Primary School R+B Rap Rebirth Rejoice Sauron School Secondary School Sisters Stories Suicide Syllables Tale Teachers Tolkien Truth Wrestling WWE WWF Years
As the last drips of rum
slip from glass to lips
I feel the heartache
of pirates and poets.
The anchor is raised on a ship
setting sail for foreign shores,
whilst my glass is raised
and tipped once more.
An empty glass,
an empty bottle;
this is the heartache
of pirates and poets -
to feel the ebb and flow,
to be the empty vessel
Friday 1st March 2013 9:38 pm
The curtains a cocoon
which I have outgrown
though I dare not venture out
my wings maimed
by an internal eternity.
Some days they open
as the sunlight shines
and snow falls
yet it remains a parallel world
a door to an unfamiliar universe
Even inside plates pile up
like a porcelain possum
Monday 21st January 2013 1:36 pm
It's been a long time coming but Pt:3 of The Communications Trilogy is finally upon us. This time concentrating on the dreaded audio device of menace, the telephone.
I've been fairly productive recently so I will be uploading a couple more Poems in quick succession, please take the time to have a look and as always feedback is welcomed.
Tuesday 14th August 2012 1:06 pm
Once-upon-a-time, a barman worshipped the Sun.
Worked nights so didn’t see much of it
but in his head he’d got stories of
the Fire God supreme,
vanquishing monsters who'd eat out your dreams.
He called the Sun ‘Hero’,
believed it had six pairs of arms,
giant wings of flame
and the handsomest nose in the galaxy.
Made moons blush
Friday 17th December 2010 1:38 pm
alcohol anxiety bar bed belief benefits contact depression dole dominic berry dragon dream drink drunk faith flapjack flat freed up gay god greenroom hero ill job light saber moon night performance poem poet pub queer sick sleep star star wars stress sun theatre unemployed vegan vegetarian wizard work worship
- 2010 - 2017 (48)
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