It might be in my imagination or a thought that sticks in my mind, When you walk in a crowded room it’s hard to be able to trust any human of kind . 

You smile and walk through the crowd , hoping your silence isn’t too loud . You’re wanting to get to your destination , without anyone bumping into you for what feels like for desperation.

Desperation - to get a glimpse of you , for when you le...

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02.04.21 

Heart so fast I'd rival a mouse 
Darting eyes, fast breath
Don't look at me now 

Checking my phone so often 
It's hot in my hands 
Don't get too close 
Especially if you're a man 

My hands shake with fear 
And my breath quick with worry 
My leg taps a song 
Like it's also in a hurry 

I jump at the sight 
Of shadows on pavement 
Can't sleep at night 
Sick with worry...

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Mind is stuck in an everlasting illusion.

 I’m trying to balance such ruthless confusion. But again it’s one down to the always winning intrusion.

Weaker and weaker I start to become as I slip beneath life’s Almighty thumb. 

In turn I get thrown around until my emotions reach that proposed  numb. 

I then start to wonder how all this speculation of mine begun. 

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~It's that constant voice in my head,
It's my voice,
Illustrating the never-ending daytime nightmares that keep me up at night,
That keep me down at noon
I fall for these stories
The fabrications that knit the fabric of my life
It's the stories behind the gazes that cut the deepest
Everyday I fight through plastic razor blades
But I don't think I'm strong enough~

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A perfectly edited

Existence

Resists the truth

Of reality

All that's

Been shown

In this 

Instance

Is exactly

What they

Want you

To see

As you

Scroll these

Sensational scenes

And the

Clutches of

Envy

Dig deep

Remember it's

Not all

As it

Seems

You don't

Know what

Sorrow

They keep

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I packed a suitcase for just myself 
then took a trip to winter months. Found
the key to the bedroom in a snow-crusted corner. 
Flat-lined in a crowded room and had to shake

off the hangover in          
                    empty spaces. 
So mood landed on carpet
and grew dim like a lamp when the flimsy blanket
drapes over the shade to welcome the latest
blast of ice in gray sunset. 
...

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On the days when my tongue betrays me
The pen is my ally.
While it cannot turn off my mind
It is comforting to have a friend
Who promises the comfort of revision,
Of reinvention,
Of erasure,
Of closure.

On the nights
When my bed is my solace
And sleep is a guest who takes too damn long to arrive
There are words
my words
That I can use to dream.

There are days when my mind
And my...

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5th grade was my downfall

Anxiety coupled with A.D.D

Made for the perfect broken marriage.

6th grade was calm.

I had everything under control

And I was taking medication

But 7th grade was morbid.

A child,

One only the devil could produce,

Had arrived with the diseased name

Of Depression.

8th grade was the year Depression made friends

Suicidal Tho...

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