Poetry Blogs (2017, mental illness)

Who Am I?

A storm trapped in a rain drop

Hurricane wrapped in a wave

Hundred mile winds twisting within a breeze

Devastating quakes in every stone

Dirt speckled snow blanketed over bones

A forest of memories behind a cosmic window

Ash curls out into nebulous tendrils of purple and blue

A ghost of an echo

No longer able to self recognize

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dissociatingdissociationexistexistenceexistential crisisidentity lossmental illnesswhat am iwho am i

My Muse Is Dead

Beige walls stand empty where original artworks once hung
A woman, beyond her years in mind and body, sits at her desk
Staring at a screen that, despite vast knowledge at her fingertips
Is empty
The cloud of cognizance that enveloped her has cleared
Ridiculed by those she trusted
"Over medicated"
No more pills
No more gange
Nothing to help control the demons within her mind
There is no feeling o...

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adhdartistsbipolarBipolar depression sadnessbulliesdepressiongiving up on passionsgiving up on peoplemedicationmental illnessocdprocessing emotionsptsdshame

I'd Be Queen Of Myself (if I weren't anti-monarchy)

entry picture

She said

I seemed brighter and

I was that day,

that week,

but my brightness

had a lid on it

because I couldn't let it

spill

unless I was alone and then

I could sing

and sing and sing

and grin

at the windows

and the cutlery

and laugh at the shape

of the front door

all angular and rigid

and trapped by lines

not like me

I was bright that day

...

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mental illness

Numb

Once a darkness wrapped her soul,
A willow weeping, a devoid whole. 
Stole her hope, her pride, her lust. 
Pain twisted taking trust. 

She wandered vulnerable but free,
Deathly pale but not drug free. 
Chemically calmed, sedated, numb.
The only way to cope for some. 

Twisted visions of the truth,
Forever lost beauty and youth.
Broken wings no longer fly. 
Long ago she prayed to die....

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mental illnessVulnerable

Wayward

Scream into the night,
my agony, my plight.
With all my might, 
I pray,

I beg the lord 
to take the pain away, 
erase the mistake 
that is my brain.
Infectious.
Awkward.
Wayward.
Onward.

Climbing the walls 
inside my mind,
a scrambling mist,
the basement of my soul, 
my hollow void.

Out of time, out of mind 
every path a one way street. 
Defeat leads me on,  
a dead end, 
arou...

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mental illness

Disability Timeline pt. 1

Ask for help,
They say
With quiet judgmental rebuke
So I ask
And then I plead
And deafness
Greets his friend
Stagnation.

Today
Means tomorrow.
Tomorrow,
Next week.
I have yet to see
What
"Within the year"
Means,
And it's been Two.

Each letter,
A careful trapeze,
Am I too sick?
Not sick enough?
The war waged on 
In my body.
They promised me
Soldiers
"Within the year."

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bipolardisabilitygovernment assistancemental illness

When The Light Dies And Darkness Thrives

Great,

The bus,

Every morning indecisive and overwhelmed

Who should I sit by?

The question is,

Who would want to sit by you?

I mean, No one wants to,

And you know it.

Shut up…

That's not true.

I've got plenty of people who wouldn't mind me.

There’s the girl I sit next to in class

And we talk from time to time.

Oh, and don't forget the boy who waves hi to me i...

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aloneanxietydeaddepressionmental illnesssad

"Are You Okay?"

Who am I?

Who are you?

Who are we?

We…

Us…

Me…

I.

I don't know who I am.

I don't know who you are.

I don't know who we are.

Are…

Were…

Am.

Am I me?

Am I you?

Am I we, us, them?

Them too.

Too many thoughts whirling in my mind.

Mind’s infected.

Infections of madness consuming me.

Me…

Us…

We…

I.

I thought I knew who I was.

I t...

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anxietyDepressionidentitymental illnessnot okayokayWho am i

Imaginary dog walking

Idly walking my imaginary dog

on the wiley windy moor,

listening out for Cathy calling,

a game I’d played before.

 

Indulging imagination,

my head engulfed in thought,

I didn't see the kneeling wench.

So shocked,

my fist she caught. 

 

Into the heath she backward fell

out cold as cold could be,

my dog attracted by a smell

mistook her for a tree.

 

An...

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Dog walkingIntrusionMental IllnessRapeSolitudeViolence

spitting in the street

let's go on a march for the mentally ill
up at the front are those of good will
and them with a badge and minor symptoms- but still -
waving their banners and demanding of pills

while back in the tenements behind the sofas
are the frightened neurotics the papers call loafers
'pity them pity them' the crowd call in slur
reinforcing the stigma - that is for sure

we're winning the war for...

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Mental Illness

Lifting The Lid

entry picture

Lifting The Lid.

dreaming
of Oberon and Titania
on this warm midsummer night

in the empty house
the attic was full of rats
and ablaze with light

stepping carefully
around the marbles
scattered across the floor

on the table
a pack of cards
with jokers and aces missing

a bowl of nuts
a plate of crackers
a drawer of loose screws

the rocking chair
stilled
by sawing off it...

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mental breakdownmental illnesswords for 'madness'

I Matter [commissioned by York Arc Light]

Now you see 'em. Now you don't.
Now you see 'em. Now you don't.
 
So a suit wearing stranger slips in the street.
What do you do?
You check they're alright,
if there's anything you can do to help.
And you offer to call an ambulance,
and you buy them a bottle of water.
Do everything you can to reach the Good Deed Feed.
And you ...

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addictionalcoholalcohol abusedrug abusehomelessnessMEAMmental illnesspoverty

Craiglockhart (Not Yet Diagnosed Nervous)

entry picture

Craiglockhart (Not Yet Diagnosed Nervous)

When I kicked over the wheelchair
I couldn’t do the simplest task,
except the epileptic flailing
of my military antimasque.
Turning on the hissing gas-lamp
had me reaching for the mask.
You opened up my mind
and you didn’t even ask.

Sh-sh-sh shut the fuck up,
I think I’m going insane,
I’ve got all these bombs
going off in my brain.
I’m lik...

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Craiglockhart Miliotary Hospitalmental illnessPTSDrichpixShell ShockSITWBtreatmentWW1

My Darling Psychopath

If all you told were lies,

I heard only truth.

If manipulative were your motives,

I was putty in your hands.

If you used me for excitement,

I was thrilled for you.

If your emotions were all feigned,

I was your audience, suspended by the fiction.

If love you never felt,

I loved it for you,

And if conscience, you had none,

I was moral for us both.

 

Do you hide...

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loveMental Illness

Free

entry picture

Free

 

My name is juvenile delinquent

I’m losing my mind now,

it happens again and I can’t do anything about it.

Anxiety, anger, confusion, depression and loneliness

fight to get a foothold in my beleaguered mind.

Just about to go mad, insanity beckons,

don’t let my neurosis lead to psychosis.

I don’t want to be a Section 20, locked up forever

with only bars as my com...

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bad wayscriminal intentjailmental illnesssectionedwrong pathyoung people

Jungles

 

 

  They are coming with the needle They think they are being kind Sending me back to The jungles of my mind.   There are creatures in the forest, I can feel them closing in Screaming in my mind In a brain jarring din. The fire is burning well Sending out heat and light Keeping at bay  Those creatures of th...

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Fantasyfearmental illnessNight sleep terrorstrapped

Mental Health Victims

In Pyjamas creased like discarded paper

Shuffling aimlessly on flaccid feet

Come the fresh patients to the Psychiatry machine

Eyes stare into space in obscure realms of fantasy

 

With word salad chatter so wayward and bewildered

For morning medication they agitatedly wait

Chlorpromazine drugged psychotics limbs tremoring like jelly

Heads full of voices torturous ...

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Mental IllnessPsychiatryself harm

Mental Health Victims

In Pyjamas creased like discarded paper

Shuffling aimlessly in worn down slippers on flaccid feet

Come the fresh patients commited to the psychiatry machine

Eyes stare intently into space in obscure realms of fantasy

 

With word salad jabber so wayward and bewildered

For morning medication they agitatedly wait

Chlorpromazine drugged psychotics limbs tremoring like je...

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Bi-polar.mental illnessPsychiatric HospitalsPsychosis

Mental Health Incarceration

 

Mental Health Incarceration

    In Pyjamas creased like discarded Paper

Shuffling aimlessly in worn down slippers

Come the fresh fodder for the Psychiatric Machine

Eyes staring intently into obscure realms of Fantasy

 

With word salad chatter so wayward and bewildering

For morning medication they agitatedly wait

Chlorpromazine drugged Psychotics, li...

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incarcerationMental IllnessPsychiatric Hospitals

Irregular Apocalypse

“Got 10p for a cup of tea?”

“If you show us where you can get one for that price,

I'll give you a quid”

He never did...

 

Irregular Apocalypse.

Lonely and irksome.

The bitter glow of jaundice

tears at society's rustic chains,

one tragedy at a time.

 

The Freemasons took my children,

they took my baby.”

Now she's hopping magic buses,

...

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Broken BritainConspiracyCrazyCrazy Bus LadyEnglandFreemasonsHeroinHeroin AddictHeroin AddictionManchesterMental IllnessMentally IllMisunderstoodNaPoWriMoReal LifeSmackSmack AddictTragedyUKUnited Kingdom

the learning nerves

entry picture

The learning nerves!

A poem inspired by a confidence and self esteem

building course attended at Mhist in Bolton.

 

Destiny and desires designed the darkness into an eventual tangle,

of falsities and fears with which we wrangle!

Thoughts founded on falsehoods and threats that flowed like water to the deepest depths,

fantasies we fear are facts that leave us of true h...

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assertivenessconfidecehopemental healthmental illnessself esteem

Lorna

 

It was a public madness:

comments not making sense, snow-flaking words on photos shared by friends of friends.

Oblique comments passed by lookers on. ‘WTF’s she on about?’ and ‘get her tole’ and passive vaguings mentioning getting better  for the kids.

 And I sit and mourn her while she lives. Watch it huge and vast.

Remembering my own lost year

and feel a little anxio...

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facebookmental illnessplatitudes

Trilogy of Heroes

My father was a survival expert:

Deserts, swamps, mountains,  jungles.

Hunger and thirst were trials inflicted

To toughen up his men for the real thing.

His signature line was:

The bugs will get you faster than the bullets!

Dad’s harsh regime saved many lives

In World War II combat arenas.

My father was my hero.


During the war

My mother bore him ...

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