Nicola Beckett on BANANAS
1 hour ago
My lover lives inside of long exposures
She breathes inside of my flashlight
The shutter gazes wide eyed into darkness
I write her notes with this wavering beam
Capture my fast fading dreams by sunrise
Saturday 22nd May 2021 8:01 pm
Dreams of uncertainty
Light up the unsuspecting mind
Floating through the abyss
Needing to be fed by the void inside.
Forming a strange pattern
The illusion once affixed
Veers through the twisted labyrinth
Setting a stage for the hopeful to fall all over.
The heat felt is roused
By this fleeting moment
Mistaking it to be existent
Till it plunges us into a...
Friday 7th May 2021 8:19 am
This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
This is the way the world ends,
Not with a bang, but a #hashtag.
Tuesday 15th September 2020 11:05 am
Dark and bleak and empty and bare
This life is hard.. I hate it here.
Voided, eroded, saddened... barren of joy
Helpless, hopeless, soulless... a plain white wall
Mopey, lonely, gloomy...why even try
Hungerless, Sleepless, motionless...I might just die
Drowning, not breathing, cant gasp for air
Quiet pain, drenched in rain, not one care
Deserted, isolated, distressed and bored
want to, ...
Saturday 22nd August 2020 1:17 am
They are a hopeful breed.
My grandfather quotes Pope’s ‘An Essay on Man’
As he tells me that “hope springs eternal”.
My mother points at a patch of crocus and bluebells in the Spring,
“A few months ago, this land was barren,
And now there is so much beauty.”
My father references his favourite Cohen song,
When he whispers to me, “There is a crack in everythi...
Thursday 9th July 2020 7:54 pm
In a dusky morning, the sun was setting,
Wanted to scream in a silent mic.
No more of this frustration, no more of this hatred,
Death was the only freedom came to his mind.
Listening to the people, listening to himself he realised,
Many a things don't matter, So does his life.
Losing his hobby, his like, his ego, his pride.
Losing his humanity, was what it was like.
'Try to stay po...
Wednesday 8th July 2020 3:10 pm
I can't take it,
I'm only asking,
Please Lord help me,
I'm tired of relapsing,
Over and over,
My veins are collapsing,
I know you hear me,
I'm sorry for babbling,
I don't understand,
Why this keeps happening,
I'm covering the pain,
It's so everlasting,
The hurt burns deep,
It never stops dragging,
Life is a slow death,
It's truly a sad thing,
Sunday 10th May 2020 3:20 pm
After all I fought for?
All these years for nothing.
I see capitulation in their eyes.
The ones who called themselves
Rebels and activists.
Is that me anymore,
Fighting against a whole world,
Stopped by their own panic?
I see my place not here,
Maybe somewhere in space,
Somewhere on another planet
Where "humans" are no sheep
And individuality is normal.
Thursday 12th March 2020 10:10 pm
Is it a Curse .. or God's Grace
To live alone heart and place
Suffering what I always face
Hopeless to be myself again
Are these changes good for me
To be lonely always or not to be
To live away of what I see
I lost my hope and brain
Sadly to wake up and sleep
Painful to feel yourself cheap
Living alone hurts in deep
I wish to know why, but in va...
Wednesday 13th March 2019 8:00 am
Make it easy. Do it simple.
Just pray for God, to bless.
Love colleagues, & friends.
Surely, you gain a higher success,
Do it now, don't delay it.
Do it again, day by day.
Get that job, reach the top.
Not impossible, just try.
Do advise, every friend.
Shiny future, comes at end.
Do your best. Now, get rid.
Of any weakness, at any wind.
Monday 4th February 2019 4:20 pm
I attempted suicide,
But I didn't die,
Not losing my life,
But what it means to be alive.
I'm drained of all motivation to continue,
But also of all strength to follow through,
I shouldn't be here,
It hurts, but it's true.
My days feel so long,
My existence feels so wrong,
I can't look at life the same,
Because I simply don't belong.
I can't be happy,
Saturday 26th January 2019 10:12 pm
the bathroom mirror.
not my own,
feeling other skin
that covers someone else’s bones.
this cannot be me.
a war within myself
that I will surely
Friday 3rd August 2018 5:17 am
Here I am again.
Lost in the same world of limbo that I always get trapped in,
Oceans of mystery below me,
Plants growing underneath me,
Stars shooting above me,
I have been stuck in this oblivion for what has seems like decades,
Ideas and thoughts looping around and around inside this tiny head of mine,
Nothing seems realistic anymore yet it does not feel like a fantasy eithe...
Tuesday 27th February 2018 6:32 am
So I guess that they've imprisoned us into this predetermined preposition
When the truth is there so blatantly but we can't help but not to listen
Because ignorance is bliss so we'll stay blissfully unaware
As to the GMO's in all our food and the geo engineering in the air
I suppose we'll go organic and refuse the water from the tap
What about the metals likened to a subtle che...
Saturday 11th November 2017 9:35 am
Beneath a dull, greying sky - I lay, and I watch -
You stand there on hard earth
With your outstretched arms,
Beckoning me close,
And within your eyes - resides a coldness,
And I dare say -
Belies a desperation, a vanity that encloses your heart.
Your face is a scarred mass of distrust,
And you're twisted and crippled
Yet, you've lived on -
In an endless parade of in...
Wednesday 29th June 2016 12:35 pm
The Marked Ones
Icicles stab like swords through my heart,
Enemies terrorize my mind,
Sanity slipping from the whole and the parts,
Time is elapsing,
The dream of salvation is lost in the storm,
Ugly dark angels beg to be born,
Uncage the black beast,
Warriors come running from distant lands,
Strength and composure ripp...
Thursday 23rd June 2016 4:13 pm
You stand before an empty horizon,
The silhouette of the trees running sharply across the bottom of the sky,
Eyes fixed on those soulless, black shapes in the distance.
Your gaze wonders up – slowly. The sky transforms before you
From the light into the dark.
The moon hangs – trapped in the dawn of engulfment,
The ground beneath you is dim – stretching to meet the light.
Monday 18th April 2016 7:38 pm
The day suffocates my soul
Each minute sends me further
The more I fight the harder my body fights back
Good things happen but I am blind
The only thing I hear is silence
Faces pass, I smile back only out of habit
My body has learned how to pretend
But my mind will never grasp the concept
My heart aches constantly
It pushes against my rib cage
It is a prisoner trying ...
Monday 31st August 2015 8:33 pm
A crowded room
is such a lonely place,
wear a fragile mask
upon a weary face.
but there’s nobody there
and there’s nothing to do
except sit and stare.
The distant sounds
of joy and laughter
drifting like echoes
in dusty rafters.
As you slowly subside,
sinking way down low
and you're silently wondering
how far you can go....
Tuesday 19th May 2015 12:08 am
Sadness is tears after losing a game or a broken bone, depression is sobs at 3 in the morning when you're all alone. Sadness makes you blue, depression makes you numb. Sadness loses to happy, depression loses to none. Sadness says, "I love you, hold me", depression screams, "I love you, go away!". Sadness is only fleeting, depression brings its bags to stay. Sadness is the curious neighbor, depres...
Wednesday 7th January 2015 5:18 am
My darkness is never ending.
My darkness is your greatest fear.
My darkness is something you can't escape.
Although, you can try
to shut out my darkness
with your precious little eyes,
but you silly, poor thing
you've forgotten that I exist there too.
So, please understand
that there is no way out.
That there is no ounce of light
to my darkness you try to run from.
So, stop your runnin...
Friday 24th October 2014 10:32 pm
It is dark out there,
Where did the light go?
I can't see a thing,
But can feel the snow.
And the temperature is dropping,
And my sister stopped moving,
And mother is slow.
Father has gone,
To where, I don't know.
And it is dark out there,
And still the wind blows.
Wednesday 30th July 2014 4:31 am
a weak light rises over the chimneys
the grass is the colour of piss
smog prises its fingers into bronchial lungs
a dog with three legs barrels down the street
curtains stained with inquisitive glances
stare out at the paperboy on a rusty bike
a cat crawls under a red Cortina parked on bricks
November exhales a grey breath on the windows
Sunday 24th November 2013 7:46 pm
A face of steel is easy
When hidden behind.
Lost in false hope,
Drowning under memories
That my shoulders cannot hold;
They buckle in sharp flaws.
Watch me break at dawn
And vanish into dust.
My soul entrenched
Under a cotton shroud,
Unable to rise.
I will never again stand
Time, the only healer,
And I am lost
In forgotten thoughts
As hopelessness ensnares.
And in the dyi...
Friday 1st February 2013 9:31 am