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For Jordan

Out driving our first cars at night
snaking the blackness of North East country roads
I'd flick the headlights off
hear the girls scream
then back on and we'd crack up laughing

In our town, there wasn't much to do
but wander looping streets 
haunt the park outside of college
blow house to house, see who was home
or spend it lying in your bedroom laughing

When you and Chris split, he ...

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cancerdeathold friendsurprise

The "C", forever with me.

Once you've been touched by the "C"
You'll no longer ever be free 
It stains me, sticks with me
I just want to be released 
But I'm haunted by this vicious disease
That aims to end lives, make me deceased
We may halt it, but it never truly leaves
It's tangled within me, lingering in my bloody Genes!
You never know what's lurking underneath
Not everything is always as it seems
It steals y...

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bowel cancerCancercancer in your genescancer never leavesdiseaseendless worryfreegenespain

Twice A Day With Food.

It's a tough pill to swallow.
I want to fucking puke.
This feeling in my stomach,
like I swallowed a live nuke.

They just give me pills to swallow
and run a lot of useless tests.
I tried so hard to keep it away,
to fight it off but it infests.

I hate these pills I swallow.
I feel the cancer in my veins.
It's consuming my body
and fucking with my brain.

It's not your pill to swallow.
I...

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battleCancergive upLymphomaPills

Goth Fall

 

Goth Fall
What a cool gothic chick I hooked up with online.

We shared the same interests.

A pretty, kind, intelligent, funny woman.

I thought this is it.

I've met my soulmate.

No more loneliness or being misunderstood by the wrong gals.

What a catch.

Something stopped us being together.

She sensed it.

Bad news got in the way of us.

Half a bottle of vodka engulfed my oblivion.

It's...

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cancergothicromance stopped

Zodiac - cancer

entry picture

i'm overly sensitive and also rather shy

i keep my thoughts to myself and hide when i cry

I notice that i'm an emotional wreck 

I moan a lot and i'm a pain in the neck

i wouldn't put up with anyone like me 

yet some how you do what is it you see?

Is it my certain skills like being able to cook?

Or is it because i enjoy other thing's like reading a book 

is it because i'm un...

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canceremotionlovepiscespoemsenstivesignszodiac

Living My Own Death

entry picture

I can tell you exactly when it happened. I was sat on one of those plasticy leatherette chairs. You know the ones, they have them in all hospitals, they're easy to wipe clean if someone has a little accident. I had my hand clasped about my wife's fingers and though I knew I was squeezing them too hard she didn't complain.

She, the doctor that is, or should I say consultant? Anyway, she leant in...

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cancerdeathhopehospitallifelove

Words

words

            no man should know

            or say

words

            no child should hear:

            parent, pray

            to be spared.

as he sat with his sons at home

and struggled to find

words:

he knew

            she will never return to us

he knew

            she is too ill

 

In a time when she was strong

for them

as her body weake...

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cancercompassiondeathdyingfatherillnessmotherparentingsonswords

Pale faced love

My little pale faced love

Pixie now for you or closer

Hang on in there, it's proof it's working

This is just a sign of the clock ticking 

Ticking away the days to full health

Full recovery no less my lovely, you'll see

The pest shrinking daily for others to catch

Trust in their judgement and hold my hand tight

You'll be free soon my lovely, just you wait and see

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cancerhealthloverecovery

black clouds on a sunny day

entry picture

black clouds on a sunny day

 

a bus ride into town

on a sunny day

 

a black cloud

crawls its way

across the window

 

this is about me

this is about me

this is about me

 

this is not about me

 

she could be

he could be

there is no sign

how would I know

 

I glance at her

her smile

curves into uncertainty

at the corner

of her mou...

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cancerclinicfalse alarmrelief

My Protector

The day I got that phone call I knew was the beginning of the end, that day was the last day I felt real fear. The fact that you’d be taken from me at any moment. That phone call was in fact my worse fear realized. That day it felt like you were ready to stop protecting me from the world but in that same hour I knew you wouldn’t be there to protect me at all. I flew to you, I ran to you only to se...

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cancerfearsmom

Father.

entry picture

This make-believe story I predicted in my head,

To pieces upon the ground does it fall.

A happiness once experienced -

A security long gone,

And a father I had imagined -

Now a memory in which I had created.

 

But, the hurt inside is real -

All torn up, how does my heart continue to beat?

A trauma of the past -

Why must I remember what I wish not to?

 

I created...

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abusivealcoholiccancerdeathFatherloss

DAD

entry picture

There was a man I knew,

not too close, not too far,

as a child he was there

to tend to my scars.

 

A man with a past,

of that I had no doubt,

a man, when provoked,

who knew how to shout.

 

A happy man

with a smile for all,

he'd always be there to

pick me up when I'd fall.

 

And though never far away,

we were never very close,

a sign of those times

...

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cancercelebrationdaddeathfamilyfatherlooking backlossloveprideregretsson

The Greatest Flame

You always said you worried
for the ones you'd leave behind
and what they had to go through
as they watched your health decline


I never fully understood
how you found the strength to fight
never once self pitying
though you had every right.


Never once did you complain
or state life was unfair
rejecting help because you felt
it better served elsewhere 


the tears you shed wer...

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cancerlossPoemreal liferemembrancerhyme

Inhumane Treatment for the Sake of Existence

If you were a dog
we'd have put you sleep
before the loss of memory
and dragging of feet
before the confusion
and constant frustration
haunted with the knowledge
your life would be taken.


The jumbled speech
and declining sight
the fears that kept 
you up at night
the lack of food
going into your system
the morphine drip
and doctors inspections.


The saddened look
tired with...

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cancerdebateeuthenasiaexistencePoemreal liferhyme

Picture of Health

I found a picture of you today
it rocked me to the core
showing you smiling, full of life
before your cancer war

it broke my heart to see it though
and made me question why
the ones who mean the most to us
are taken before their time?


Filled with so much more to give
oh how you spread your love
always there for anyone
and never one to judge

you taught me vital lessons, which
I...

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CancerGrievingLossPoemreal liferhyme

Uncomfortably unable to be numb

One more day I wanted

from the moment that you passed

one more conversation

to hear you talk and laugh

a year gone by already

and the void you left remains

this loneliness unbearable 

can't shift this fucking pain.

 

I tried to drink and smoke myself 

into an early grave

momentary respite from grieving

I still crave

but nothing numbs the feeling

of a paren...

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awarenesscancergriefGrievingPoemreal liferhymerhythym

Smoke Till Your Hearts Content

For a princely sum of seven quid odd

You can buy a fare to see your god

With tar and chemicals in each fag

Your lungs are choking with each drag

 

Carbon Monoxide with a nicotine kick

Coughing and spluttering until you're sick

But pushing on with your tobacco intake

Tumours and Emphysema from a daily fix

 

Four thousand chemicals in each toke

Poisonin...

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cancerdeathsmoking

Offend a Daily Mail reader - today!

Offend a Daily Mail reader – today!

 

In our miniscule existences upon this planet Earth

There’s precious few occurrences to occasion us true mirth

So listen up real loudly, those with brains and minds to spare

Who still hang on to plucking out true hope from thinnest air

Here’s the solution, if you’re open to such play

Just offend a Daily Mail reader today

 

...

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brainscancercardigansDaily Maildrinkingeyeballshatredhellhilarityholy grailJan MoirloveLucy MeadowsRichard Littlejohntolerancevomit

Charmaine

Charmaine

I’ve hope that the miracle I’ve asked my pagan Goddess for happens.

That my dear friend and fellow writer,

Charmaine Maeer, makes a full recovery

from the cancer that is murdering her.

Blond beautiful intelligent age 34.

Soon to be dead.

A spear in my heart,

me not knowing why her.

Except my dear friend fights with spirit and total love endures.

...

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cancerevil diseasenever forgetsteal my friendunconditional love

A.W. of Accrington

Well hello there,

 It has been a long old while since I last posted and lots has happened since my last post. I have a new job and am now officially a commuter which is inspiring a large amount of material as you can imagine. I have also had one or two tragic events happen which leads me to my latest entry.

 At the beginning of this month my Grandfather passed away after losing a long f...

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CancerDeathLifeMemory

We Miss You

entry picture

Dear Jimbo,

On this day you left.

The Earth could no longer handle your grace, for this world can be an ugly place.

We couldn't handle your departure by ourselves. You showed us that we still have each other and that family is more than we were allowing it to be. Some of us will recoil and shrink. We look at them and we think about growth, our own extra terrestrial face as universal...

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21bodycancerfamilyGriffinHazeldenhelperJimboLaurielifeloveMayMNtalityNicksoulspiritTaylorvessel

How Not To Receive A Compliment

Why on Earth would you think

I’d find one of the world’s biggest killers

funny?

You’ve known me for years, you heartless cow.

We shared the same drab town

sterilised bottles

degenerate parents.

I looked after you when you were sick

Scraping back hair, sponging brow

Forcing vile vials of fizzy liquids down your protesting throat.

I’ve run Marathons, raised...

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cancerhumourmisheard words

Lungs

entry picture

 

No-one understood his love for smoking,

The man swore on his life, with his life,

That he would never quit his ‘hobby’.

When asked ‘why do you love it?’

He explained that he was manipulating,

The smoke, as he blew out rings.

The man expressed a knowledge for

Cancer, but said he would take his chances,

Because smoking made him feel powerful.

In the autop...

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cancerlungssmoking

I See You

I see you
with sensual sense
like the Na'vi.
Hungry for your love
yet I let your absence starve me.
Living on the spiritual sustenance of memory,
Sliced on loose lips
drunk on truth and Hennesy.


 

I see you
as I raise a glass to the departed...
to my departure from your life.
How can I tell my lover I'll literally travel oceans to be at her bedside
when I d...

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cancerfamilyfamily poemlove

Terminal Velocity

entry picture

`

 

 

 

Drenched in heavy morning rain
Like an arctic soaking to the vein;
I just sat there stunned and wordless,
by the results of endless tests.

Only do I seek the scoffer's sympathy;
my litanies dot the bottom of this timpani.
No restaurant on high street offers...
Whoa! I found where my sanity rests:

A very com...

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battlecancercome into termsfightrecuperatestrugglewordbank

Take Five Hundred and Sixty Four

entry picture

Take Five Hundred and Sixty Four

Five hundred and sixty four
million pounds to fund
Identity Cards!
What?
What??
What???
What the hell is that?
Five - Hundred - And - Sixty - Four:
Five hundred and sixty four
million pounds,
more than half a Billion
is Five hundred and sixty four
million!
And how many lives would it count,
half a billion pounds
if a cure for ca...

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cancerID cardspharmaceuticals

Saying Goodbye

I nervously tread past them

Glaring Haplessly at each and everyone of them

Wondering when it will come

When it will hit me

Like a bullet to the head


They turn around, and follow my presence

Staring through their anger fuelled eyes

Into my cold, lonely soul

I dare to hold that contact they crave

But I don't give it to them


The air is suffocated b...

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cancerdeathfathergrave yardwidowed

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