Biography

Egad Matelot!

Allow me to introduce meself - Mingo Backhair be me name, and I be mighty pleased to make yer acquaintance.

Yarr! Where to begin? I be an honest seafarer, that be me trade, but Odious Odes be me passion. In addition, I enjoys a number of other wholesome activities, which all be above board, includin' buryin' treasure, polishin' me cutlass, contractin' scurvy, piratin' and flower arrangin'. I be a member of ye legendary "Backhair Pirates", who lives at http://www.backhairpirates.com. And now I be off for a tankard of grog, and some chocolate animal biscuits.

Fare thee well!

Mingo.

Samples

THE NIGHT WE BURIED OUR TREASURE IN SOMEONE ELSE'S GARDEN

By Mingo Backhair

There were rogues a-plottin' in the pirates' lair
Our plan to bury treasure was a troublesome affair
We sought an idin' place which no landlubber could find
And after a night of merryment an idea sprang to mind

Suddenly Silva made a suggestion to me -
"Let's pay a visit to someone else's property"
He said "Come on! Let's trespass!"
I said "I beg your pardon?"
He said "Let's bury our treasure in someone else's garden!"

I said "Silva, you're a rascal
(though ye've courage and ye've guts)
I bet ye use the bilges
To fill the scuttle butts"
Silva said "Mingo!
Stow this pirate lingo"
I said "I like piracy
'Cos I'm a pirate - see?"

Suddenly Silva made a suggestion to me -
"Let's pay a visit to someone else's property!"
He said "Come on! Let's trespass!"
I said "I beg your pardon?"
He said "Let's bury our treasure in someone else's garden!"

We decided to enact our plan that scabrous sultry night
And found a garden hedge with a gap at shoulder height
Though Silva stepped forth manfully
I knew that he was ailin'
When he got stuck 'alf way through
Each leg desperately flailin'

We hid our stash beneath a rock
Next to the garden fence
Replacin' soil and marigolds
With care and diligence
Then proudly we paraded back
To our pirate abode
But the story ain't quite over -
Here's the final episode:-

Our escapade brought instant fame
And notoriety
We learned we'd be appearin' twice
That evenin' on T.V.
"Two programmes must ye watch tonight"
I implored me Mother
" 'Gardener's World' be one of 'em -
And 'Crimewatch' be the other!

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

Last blog entry

Your Pirate Guide

Posted on Saturday 24th July 2010 3:52 pm

Ahoy, me name be Mingo

And I shall be yer guide

Though treasure be me mistress

Piracy’s me bride

I be mighty gruntled

To see that ye be here

I’ll fill yer head with stories

And I’ll fill yer heart with fear

That’s right, me name be Mingo

And I shall haunt yer dreams

I’m a stormy, ragin’ ocean

Pierced with desperate deathly screams

I lurk amongst the shadows

I am artful and I’m sly

I am the wicked glint

In a scoundrel’s bloodshot eye

So it’s Mingo at yer service

Yer friend in Piracy

And it has been an honour

For you to have met me.

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