Sat 10th Jul 2010 13:27
Thanks for your fascinating comment on my profile Banksy - you've really got me thinking. When does a bad memory become a regret or when does a regret turn into just a bad memory? My instinct is to say that they can be independent of each other or go hand in hand and there are many grey areas inbetween.
I have never contemplated taking my own life. The moments and fun and joy that you get now and again make it worth living and fill me with enough hope. Nor do I wake up beating my chest every day wishing I had lived my life differently. I just acknowledge that I made one big mistake that had a huge impact on the rest of my life. I would never unwish that now cos to do so would be to unwish its consequences - my children. I can't help but sometimes wonder what my life would have been like, had I made a different decision 20 yrs ago and I do want better for my children.
It is perhaps easier to put 'regrets' behind you when you are contented and have got your life more or less right. I doubt very much that you were without regrets when you trudged round Asda aisles on your own for 10 years...
Anyway - there is no need to worry about me. I'm fine really. Not sure why I wrote that poem - I have no need for catharsis any more. xx
Comment is about Banksy (Poet profile)
Original item by Banksy
Sat 10th Jul 2010 12:20
thanks Anne on the 'natures seventh seal'poem, I'm hoping you can find some hidden references in there. there are gems for everyone in it.x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (Poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Sat 10th Jul 2010 12:19
izzy, ta. Hey did you know the 'liquid window' line, well glass is liquid, after a while it actually sags, if you look on old buildings, crazy that. Skem concourse, lovely..........
Comment is about natures seventh seal (blog)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 12:09
Loved it, Dave, wonderful. As others have pointed out "bastards" is a bit of a stumble. How about "Got to make the pasta faster so the profits will be vaster"?
Comment is about Pasta (blog)
Original item by Dave Carr
Sat 10th Jul 2010 11:59
Dave. Thanks for your comments on Anything Goes. The rhyme scheme crept in as a result of listening to Leonard Cohen one day.It's more of a song, I suppose, with Anything Goes as the refrain. It's about literary pretensions, would you believe!
Comment is about Dave Carr (Poet profile)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 11:56
Cynthia. Thanks for your comments on Stroke.I can't decide between resuscitated and regurgitated. What do you think?
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (Poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sat 10th Jul 2010 11:54
Greg, thanks for your comments on Stroke. Do you think resuscitated or regurgitated would be better?
Comment is about Greg Freeman (Poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Sat 10th Jul 2010 11:47
Hi! I think the first line would benefit from starting with a or the. It feels a little indefinate as it is.
I found the irregular rhyme to be good in places but forced in others. I felt that 'maim' didn't fit. Other than that last line, the 5th stanza is my favourite though and the first is great.
I was somewhat confused by who the servants are. That might just be me though ^^
Well thanks for the read!
Comment is about A Lions Eyes (blog)
Original item by Hayden
Sat 10th Jul 2010 11:35
This was really great, I love the humour of the piece, the fast pace and all the rhymes. It's very well put together. The line with bastards also threw me, as did this line: To our recipes down passed-a. But those are tiny complaints and it really is fantastic!
Sat 10th Jul 2010 10:21
Oh FFFFFFFF !
Comment is about the graveyard shift (blog)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 10:10
I guess the vista that he mister was the gape of orifista...
ouch sorry about that - I'm just trying out your pasta style
Comment is about Limerick (blog)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 10:05
The personification of Nature - what a brilliant poem! Nature seems very malevolant though I guess that is because it carries with it death and decay. Us humans regret our own mortality above all else. Great flow of thought and imagery. I see you have visited Skem concourse - high time Nature reclaimed that eyesore. They do have a great little shoe shop in the market area though...
Sat 10th Jul 2010 09:57
A nice little poem Banksy and I like the picture that accompanies it. I'm glad to hear there is an upside to growing old! That apostrophe has snook back into your it's!
Sat 10th Jul 2010 09:56
Does anyone know who wrote Eyam and the Wells? I'm intrigued but I tried googling it and couldn't find a reference.
Thanks for the welcomes and comments everyone!
I'll probably choose acrid then, it's the more fitting of the two. Not wasting words is a good tip, thanks Cynthia and Graham!
Thank you Andy :)
Comment is about Billy and the Flowers (blog)
Original item by Heather
Sat 10th Jul 2010 09:53
This is so sad Ann. It is hard enough bringing up teenage kids when you have a strong, competant carer - without any guidance at all, your heart goes out...
'sometimes life is crap' sums up perfectly the randomness of the cards we are all dealt.
Comment is about a childhood (blog)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 09:50
Thanks for your comment Ann. I thought you were a french speaker for some reason - must have been that raunchy poem about having fun in Paris! Glad you enjoyed the sound of it, anyway. x
Sat 10th Jul 2010 09:45
I think you are a pasta master at this type of poetry, Dave! I'm disappointed that you didn't chuck some of your own special Italian in though...
I think 'bastard' may also have thrown your rhyming scheme at one point - I won't hold it against you though!
This went down brilliantly at the Tudor - a great performance piece.
Sat 10th Jul 2010 09:35
Hi - great poem Isobel & you are so right about our struggles in life fuelling our art. My life has been very shitty in parts, (and probably, like many people, I seriously thought of ending it) - but still, not anything like as hard as yours, but I have been lucky in finding a "trick" to banish all regrets. For me, having a regret is a wishing that your life had been otherwise, (is that what you mean ?) - which (for me) is a negative view and unattainable anyway. There's nothing wrong with capitalising on our troubles & turning them into art, but (for me) to have regrets is to dwell on the past - to "agree" to be a victim of what may very well have been intolerable at the time. But that is in the past & by "agreeing" to hold onto our regrets (to "indulge" in them) - one cannot help but be (at least partly) governed & defined by them.
I know I sound like a vicar here - and I'm not at all religious - but if you Wanted to let go of your regrets - as I did - you can simply let go of them - not forget them, but deny them their hold over you. I haven't forgotten my troubles, but they no longer affect or define who I am. If your definition of Regrets is different than mine, then maybe your use of them to build your art is a good thing for you - an exorcising of your ghosts - but for me they would no longer be defined as regrets, just memories. It does sound as if I just like hearing the sound of my own voice here!
Sermon over :)
Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Sat 10th Jul 2010 09:33
Hi - great poem Isobel & you are so right about our struggles in life fuelling our art. B
Comment is about La Vie en Rouge (blog)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 08:21
Really enjoyed this! The line
' Cogs were whirring far too fast-a,
Flying belts went whizzing past-a.'
is easily the best of the whole place! Very amusing.
Sat 10th Jul 2010 08:05
Theres something very 'Borges' about this piece, perhaps its the entwining of something rather large, with something small and personal.
I like your confidence with reusing phrases and words, it fits the rebellious theme of the poem - an aggressive use of language that defines an aggressive poplace.
I have to agree with the other comments in that it's a very oral poem - the use of alliteration helps the words to roll of your tongue in thick globs, almost bloodlike itself.
A very good poem.
Comment is about Beloved (blog)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 07:58
Thankyou most kindly for commenting! I'm glad you enjoy my poetry, and your encouragement is much appreciated - as a pessimist I am prone to shelving opposed to sharing, and I feel far more ready to share after your insightful response.
Sat 10th Jul 2010 06:31
Really like this, lots of phrases are great. Menacing but natural at the same time. Miss Haversham contemplating the end of the world! x
Sat 10th Jul 2010 06:26
You've made me feel very hungry! And it's good wheeze to end every line by adding an "a". That'll make it rhyme!! ;-) (Only kiddin') Really enjoyed it Dave, thanks! x
Sat 10th Jul 2010 06:22
I don't speak french at all. You read it beautifully, and it sounds very moving and dramatic. I listened as I read the english translation. You are so clever, girl! xx
Sat 10th Jul 2010 06:19
Hi Larisa. I like this. As women we've just got to be what we've got to be! Sod the blokes! ;-) xx
Comment is about She is so beautiful (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Sat 10th Jul 2010 06:16
Hello Larisa - thanks for commenting on A Childhood. It is sad, I hope things get better for her. She is a real girl, the poem is made up of the bits and pieces that you hear about someone else's life when you live in a small community. You can know so much about someone that you have never even talked to. Not sure if that is good or bad! Part of village life. Stay well. xx
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (Poet profile)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 06:11
Hi Dave - thanks for comments on my last two. x
Sat 10th Jul 2010 05:12
thank you for your kind comment , it's a shame that he had to go young , I saw his last show and he was brilliant. Keep one writing mate I like your work
Sat 10th Jul 2010 02:12
C'est magnifique Isobel - vraiment !
Les sentiments sont très bien exprimés, et qu'est-ce que tu sais chanter !
Sat 10th Jul 2010 02:02
I love the title and the meaning behind it!
Very clever Peter... And this definitely needs to be read several times to take it all in.
Je me souviens de cette photo aussi.
Sat 10th Jul 2010 01:57
Oh my Goodness - I've just got it! I was reading it with a french accent before - what a twit! Only you could come up with that! Need to find myself an oar, obviously...Tee hee - you should write a funny french poem - you'd bring the house down!
Sleepless from Wigan. xx
Sat 10th Jul 2010 01:42
Re: the comment..
Read in French.
Pensé en Anglais.
Sat 10th Jul 2010 01:26
At a terminal velocity of 250 feet per second it takes about 40 seconds to fall 10000 feet. Our son did a parachute jump for charity over Morecambe Bay. Watched him do it and the video. Don't think I'll be doing that. Just edited this comment as I though the original was a bit heartless.
....Nice poem by the way!
Comment is about loves parachute (blog)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 01:24
You can be as flippant as you like on my poems Dave - all friendly banter more than welcome!I am struggling to understand your french though - was that the back of a wine bottle?Tell me where you went to get such a clean beach - I haven't managed to find one yet...xx
ps I will read and comment on yours tomorrow. Am tired - I need to sleep. I enjoyed that pasta one at the Tudor though - it was one of those funny groan ones - where each line takes you to new hights...
Sat 10th Jul 2010 01:16
A fitting tribute
Comment is about FAREWELL TO FANTASTIC FRANK SIDEBOTTOM -RIP (blog)
Original item by Spencer Robertshaw - 07703 558825
Sat 10th Jul 2010 01:10
Didn't mean to be flippant.
Excellent stuff Isobel.
Sat 10th Jul 2010 01:08
Pas d'elle yeux Rhone que nous!
Sat 10th Jul 2010 00:59
Hi Larisa,Thanks for comment.Don't get many the other side of Wigan!Dave
Sat 10th Jul 2010 00:53
Sat 10th Jul 2010 00:43
Made me think of Eyam and the wells.
Sat 10th Jul 2010 00:35
I like everything about this poem.
The backbone rhyme... Did you write that first? Is it a recognised pattern or should we call it after you?... The character, the rhyming and the humour... everything.
Comment is about Anything Goes (blog)
Sat 10th Jul 2010 00:27
brilliant performance at Wigan
Love the 'nude twister' imagary, sounds suburban wife swap ish, super curtain twitchin stuff!
Sat 10th Jul 2010 00:26
Dave, thanks, its fallen into 3 pieces, i may apply some abridgment
Sat 10th Jul 2010 00:16
Pete,Good one.I like especially..grand grey of your skelmersdale concourse and This illness is tattered cloth Between your ears In all canals Dave
Fri 9th Jul 2010 23:34
Fri 9th Jul 2010 22:56
Very nice limerick. And.... really funny.
Fri 9th Jul 2010 22:44
Ha ha I'd go for that ;-)
Fri 9th Jul 2010 22:13
It is so true: sometimes life is crap.
With warmest wishes,
Fri 9th Jul 2010 21:18
I find this very moving, Dianna, and very well put. IMO you are right not to alter a thing. Best Wishes, Lynn x
Comment is about Broken Dreams (blog)
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