Janet Ramsden

Thu 28th Oct 2010 11:55

Thank you both, you are too kind I think :-)
Not sure if you can buy lemon scented star drops Laura. My gran used to add a few drops of lemon juice to hers for added sparkle.
xx

Comment is about Genuflecting (blog)

Janet Ramsden

Thu 28th Oct 2010 11:47

Your poetry always touches on elements of life Mike. There is a touch of sadness in this one that reaches the soul and tugs at heart strings.
This kind of poetry is difficult to write but you do it so well.x

Comment is about Tuck Shop (blog)

Janet Ramsden

Thu 28th Oct 2010 11:39

Under pressure! I hate that song!
Your poem however is absolutely superb Isobel. A very worthy performance piece which i'm sure would go down well in several places on the circuit.
Brilliant fun and just as good a read as it is to listen to. Well done! You are so good at this :-)
xx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

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Banksy

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 10:47

for once, I agree - it's even better as "itching" - seems complete now

Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Laura Taylor

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 09:19

Winston - I put a comment on my own blog but just wanted to put a big 'thank you' here too - your comment was exactly what was needed, and I've changed it now. Deffo works better, but as mentioned on mine, I don't know what to do about the first line so I'm a-gonna leave it

Oh - and cheers for the heads up on the competition - I'll give that a go! :D


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Laura Taylor

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 09:17

Thanks all - and especially to Winston. The main reason why I thought it was clumsy was the word 'itchy' and for exactly the same reasons! :)

I'm not sure about the semi pause thing after the first line - I'm still totally new to the concept of haiku so I think I'll leave it for now, cos I'm not exactly sure what I could do to change that.



Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Banksy

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 08:09

what about the man from del Monte ? - he's a peach :)

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 07:40

Hi Julian - thanks for comments on the Man from Rejerrah. Re the eyes question, I may alter but my initial idea was the sound of eyeson=izon=marazion sort of went together. But maybe not! Stay well! Just re-read your last blog, my son went home yesterday after staying for nearly a fortnight (he cat sat while I was at Hebden). The gap where his toothbrush has been sitting at the side of the bathroom sink brought a tear to my eye this morning! Boo Hoo! Still, he'll be back down for christmas hopefully! xx

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Ann Foxglove

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 07:01

Thank you for nice comments on the Man from Rejerrah. I've done loads of audios in the past, not so much lately. The names in the poem are only significant in that I like the sound. Went past a signpost to Rejerrah the other day on the bus! Poem appeared! xx

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Sam Brindle

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 00:56

Hi Naomi. Well impressed with your poetry, sounds like genuine anger given a comic twist. Brilliant.

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Sam Brindle

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 00:52

"You're a Bad Man" is quality.

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winston plowes

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 00:48

Ah yes, nothing wrong here. Hey... enter the Haiku comp in the news section Laura. By the way, 2 things. 1) I would have Itching not Itchy but not sure why, just the feel of the word (Itchy ends harshly maybe) 2) many say that Haiku should have a natural pause, a detachment somewhere (between 1st and 2nd or 2nd and 3rd lines) This one has a great pause after 2nd line but also a 'semi' pause after 1st as I read it? Hmm. something to think about maybe. Win x

Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Sam Brindle

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 00:45

I'm not usually one for Haikus but I do like this. Great stuff.

Comment is about Threes Allowed - Haiku (blog)

Original item by Augusta Darling

winston plowes

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 00:40

great stuff Owen. enjoyed. Esp 'crumbling themselves away'
and your ending. Win x

Comment is about autumn evening journey (blog)

Original item by owen calvert

Sam Brindle

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 00:37

Hi Andrew. Definitely agree with 'DEIFICATION 0, DEFECATION 1', pretty bold poem that, which tend to be the best ones.

Comment is about Andrew Barber (Poet profile)

Original item by Andrew Barber

winston plowes

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 00:35

Good Sam, go to the top of the class... The Headmaster.

Comment is about Sam Brindle (Poet profile)

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winston plowes

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Thu 28th Oct 2010 00:19

Julian, have another go at the change a letter discussion thing! Win x

Comment is about Julian Jordon (Poet profile)

Original item by Julian Jordon

stefan wilde

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 22:46

Glad me little 'satin ticker'pleased you-thank you Ann-lots of love-Stef-xx

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Original item by Ann Foxglove

stefan wilde

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 22:41

Good evening Lynn-I,m ever so grateful for your concerns and comments of course-its just that I,ve been pretty busy doing improvements on our house and doing jobs at one of our daughters houses in the Rhondda(South Wales)plus running up and down to see the other grandchildren in Abergele and yet even more in Northwhich.So to say I clock a few miles up each year is an understatement! I sincerely hope you and your family and 'The Benj'are all in fine fettle,so thanks again catch up with you tomorrow.Still no sign of Bernadette? lots of love to you-Stefan-xx

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Julian (Admin)

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 22:36

A bit of advice, Anna. if you have to write essays of 3,000 words each, practising by writing Haikus will be of little help, as entertaining as your haiku is!
Best of luck.

Comment is about How not to write an essay (blog)

Original item by Anna McCrory

Julian (Admin)

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 22:34

Want, want, bloody want, eh, Ann?
not only do you want the signs bringing to you, you wnat someone else to read them for you.
All right, to be serious, it works well though (just my own humble opinion etc) I would have preferred it to finish at the word 'sky", to increase its mystery and appeal.

Comment is about three signs (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Julian (Admin)

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 22:26

To me it sounds like several conversations overheard in bits en passant, down a courtroom corridor perhaps, but all discussing the same case. As Winston says, powerful use of the Tommies' vernacular.
Superb.

Comment is about The Word No Is A Long Sentence (blog)

Original item by Steven Waling

Julian (Admin)

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 21:56

I love your reading style and voice, Ann. Clear diction, nice pitch. lovely. Not enough of it heard at Hebden.
Shades of 'Cargoes' in the listing and the rhythm.Just one little thing, as they say. did you intend having the penultimate line end with "...my eyes on" - plural? or did you intend to use the singular, which seems to offer a better rhyme with Marazion/my eye on?

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Lynn Dye

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 21:46

I like this, Mike, good one.

Comment is about Tuck Shop (blog)

Paul F Blackburn

Wed 27th Oct 2010 20:33

Thank you Andrew for commenting on the poem Be!which has recently had it's 21st Birthday and now has come out of the closet as a blue poem. Why blue, I don't know, it won't tell me no matter how much I threaten it with a huge and efficient rubber eraser. So it remains a mystery though I think it might have something to do with the equation a2 + b2 = b2 x a2 - n

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Alison Smiles

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 20:28

Tommy - try google!

Comment is about Alison Smiles (Poet profile)

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Paul F Blackburn

Wed 27th Oct 2010 20:28

Thank you for commenting on my 21 year old poem, called Be! - it makes me feel proud of it as it goes out on its own into the real world.

Not sure where Tintin comes into it and shouldn't you be out and about doing award winning graffiti?

Comment is about Banksy (Poet profile)

Original item by Banksy

Graham Sherwood

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 20:24

Wow! why say more!!

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Paul F Blackburn

Wed 27th Oct 2010 20:22

Hi Dave,
Thanks for commenting on my poem Be! which was 21 years old yesterday so is no longer in a playpen and wants to be taken seriously. I try to make it understand with sympathetic comments like "You cannot be serious!" but alas to no effect. The poem wants to live with you as she's sure your a much better poet than me :(

Comment is about Dave Bradley (Poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Graham Sherwood

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 20:19

First time I've heard your voice Ann. This is a really nice piece of work. I don't understand the names but the listing-style attributes work very well. One of your best so far I think. Nice voice too!

Comment is about the man from rejerrah (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Paul F Blackburn

Wed 27th Oct 2010 20:17

Thank you Julian (Admin) for your cerebral comments on my poem Be! though I'm a bit worried about you as your comment seems to have become incoherent after a few words. Me and my poem hope you are alright. Actually my poem has rather taken to you and she wants you to come to her 21st birthday and drink conker juice with you. I've tried to explain that you are in love with several other poems but she won't believe it and hopes you pop by soon.

Comment is about Julian Jordon (Poet profile)

Original item by Julian Jordon

Paul F Blackburn

Wed 27th Oct 2010 20:03

Are you mutating into a post box Win?

Thanks for commenting on my poem "BE!" I put it upon the blogs after giving it a 21st birthday party. After some drinks it burst into tears and said it never met anyone any more and that I'd left it unloved in a cupboard for all those years and wasn't it time I introduced it to real poets. So thanks for being a pal to this poem, it really needs one and it hopes you visit again soon.

Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Paul F Blackburn

Wed 27th Oct 2010 19:51

Thanks for your comment on Freedom Dave, appreciated

Comment is about Dave Bradley (Poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Isobel

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 19:33

Yes - it is a posh Wigan accent - I spent too long down your neck of the woods and it got tainted...

Whaddaya mean self deprecation - what makes you think that isn't me up there in the cowboy hat?

I am more of a performance poet Steve - I just love the buzz of a stage and I enjoy the mischief in this piece. If I ever make it famous, I'd like to do it in the rain to a massive audience with a support band and I'd do a partial strip at the end - nothing seedy of course - just a doffed cardigan and a bit of fun for the audience. You'd really need loud music to make it work though - and everybody really tanked up - and a shift of focus away from the written word...

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Banksy

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 18:17

I think you should go the whole hog - back, sack & crack :)
great poem BTW -I love the rhythm
Also David Bowie - some of his lyrics are brill (he's a great poet) - "Drive in Saturday" is one of my favourites. xx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Dave Bradley

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 16:56

Excellent. It worked well as a performance piece and now at last here it is. It's fun - it is also good stuff. Lots of nice things happening with words and rhythm in there.

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Dave Bradley

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 16:49

I like enigmatic haikus that raise big questions with just a few words. This is perfect - what sort of scars? What sort of anniversary?

Comment is about Anniversary Haiku (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Laura Taylor

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 16:27

Hehehe - fab! Never heard your voice before - sounds really clear, like it :) LOVE tits eclipsing under pressure :D :D

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Laura Taylor

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 16:19

Thanks for your comment on my first ever haiku Ann :)

Do you know, I might well get hooked on haikus! I really enjoyed writing it :) I like the brevity of them

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Ann Foxglove

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 16:19

Brill! (It's a lovely sunny day here - so I'll expect you round later with your flame thrower shall I?) xx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Isobel

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 16:06

Glad you like it Francine/Gus - yes it's a brill song. I envy Annie Lennox getting the opportunity to sing with David Bowie - would love to be able to do that. The poem was a bit of fun - inspired by a freezing cold, wet August up in the North West of England - we get quite different weather from you southerners and other foreigners.Thanks to my friend Dave for splicing all the music up - I'm sure I gave him a head ache. I promise to fit my words to the music and not the music to my words, next time...x

ps damp smalls? you've got me wondering gus!

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Gus Jonsson

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 16:03

This far from frivolous... this is power packed ..love it .

just one thing ...Stripping Naked for he neighbours... its me with the damp smalls Iso...

Once again superb... you'll be needing a roadie soon... with these vocals and harmonics..

Well done

Gus xx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Francine

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 15:57

FINALLY !!!!!
LOVE IT - YOU are so funny!
So many great lines in this - flows really well, and I LOVE this song!

xxx

Comment is about Under Pressure (a frivolous piece) (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Gus Jonsson

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 15:55

Thank You Everyone

I would love to be sat upon that bench taking it all in... it was all so long, long ago...

Where I am now and where I used to be... now that is the wispy nagging teaser... not exactly an age thing and its not exactly melancholy... painless ..but it does get very close to hurting...

just 'wish me back' moments of a man who is getting homesick after all these years.

Gus Jonsson

Comment is about Beneath the Umbrella Tree (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Gus Jonsson

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 15:35

Afternoon Dave


Where I am now and where I used to be... now that is the wispy nagging teaser... not exactly an age thing and its not exactly melancholy... painless ..but it does get very close to hurting...

just 'wish me back' moments of a man who is getting homesick after all these years.

Thanks again for your well read critique.

Gus

Comment is about Dave Bradley (Poet profile)

Original item by Dave Bradley

Francine

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 15:30

Lovely, Gus... You have described a moment in time with all that is going on around, as you sit on that bench taking it all in.

xxx

Comment is about Beneath the Umbrella Tree (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Gus Jonsson

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 15:29

Thank you Banksy

Get the Ferry from Southampton to East Cowes On the I O W and you will be .

Thanks again.

Gus

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Original item by Banksy

Gus Jonsson

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 15:27

Thanx Winston I am pleased you enjoyed the 'Umbrella Tree'.... Bit of different pace for me but I enjoyed composing this piece'

Once again many thanks.

Gus

Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Francine

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 15:24

Well it really got me thinking about it, and the only thing I could come up with (assuming I understand 'top up') would be that at the store you added minutes to your phone, and the bit about minutes on the hip was that you had your phone clipped to your hip - sort of a play on words for losing weight to get into those skinny size 10 jeans - LOL

Comment is about Shopping List Edit (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Gus Jonsson

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Wed 27th Oct 2010 15:24

Thanx Andy, Nobody does 'Simple ' Better than me... doesn't do to be too clever...eh

Gus

Comment is about Andy N (Poet profile)

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