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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 22:29

Beautiful and deeply moving - I ached with you.

Impossible for me to choose favourite bits - it is all so natural and flowing and very, very human.

Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 22:15

That's a lovely recording and performance. Your voice lends itself well to audio. What a shame you don't get more chance to perform your stuff - it really brings it to life. x

Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

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Dave Bradley

Wed 8th Jun 2011 22:03

Powerfully poignant - made more so by the steady pace and skilful use of understatement

Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)

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Banksy

Wed 8th Jun 2011 21:36

Hi Cyn - yes, "yesterday" is also the first line of the poem - many thanks for reading & commenting. B

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Ann Foxglove

Wed 8th Jun 2011 21:36

Glad to see you around the place again!:)

Comment is about Beneath her Contemptuous Gaze (blog)

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Banksy

Wed 8th Jun 2011 21:35

Many thanks Guys & Gals

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Ann Foxglove

Wed 8th Jun 2011 21:34

Really great!!!

Comment is about Attention Deficit (blog)

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Greg Freeman

Wed 8th Jun 2011 21:28

Beautiful one, this, John. Some fantastic music in it: the stanza concluding "all buttoned, coiled and British" is the one I like the best.

Comment is about Song for an unborn child (I never) (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Wed 8th Jun 2011 21:10

Oh go on then!! :)

Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 20:31

Or you could go commando performance style and put on a gruff rough voice...

Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 20:30

Now you mention it... it's just I can hear your voice saying it. Can't you be gay for a day?

Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)

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Ann Foxglove

Wed 8th Jun 2011 20:21

I guess I didn't think of doing an audio cos it was supposed to be a man talking to a woman. I was putting myself in someone else's shoes!

Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 20:17

It's a shame this doesn't have audio Ann. I can imagine your honey voice reading this.

'and keep you sweet and keep you sweet
in petticoats and chocolate shoes
and dreams of toes and tongues and you'

I love the flow and the sweetness of it all!

Comment is about chocolate shoes (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 20:13

Wry is definitely the word I would use - and quirky too.

I would imagine the masking tape was for your date not yourself. Not something I would accept on the first date or ever... x

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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 20:09

You've chosen my favourite line there Chris.

Lovely to have you on board Gus - I should have known you would find the pull of patent leather thigh length boots just too much to resist...

xx

Comment is about Beneath her Contemptuous Gaze (blog)

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Chris Co

Wed 8th Jun 2011 19:55

Simply- VERY clever.

I walked past tense, which I take to have been you in a photo.

Every minute of every day unemcumbered- your still talking about the photo. And this must be true because in the heart beat you were captured the description applied. So it will always apply!

By his words....is this distancing yourself, you are the photo and you- different yet the same?

Your past self, forever you at a point in time, or at least a part of you or shadow?

This photo being in the filing cabinet?

You linger as your other you lingers and your mulling over what it all means, that is the you that ages?

Of course you may mean something else entirely.

Irrespective- I really like this- fantastic.

Chris

Comment is about yesterday (blog)

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Chris Co

Wed 8th Jun 2011 19:48

I like this.

If you read the poem with and without the shop names you realise that the names you give us, gives us our own attention deficit by way of distraction. That is clever.

Also by reading the poem in these two ways, you get very different experiences, much like someone else on the bus without an attention deficit may have a very different feeling regarding the journey- is this intentional? I do hope so because it is clever to think it might be.

I also love the irony of the driver's choice of book. Now did you change this with artistic licence or is life just that strange?

If you did change the book title with artistic licence can that be seized by the police along with the drivers driving licence? LoL

Well written

Chris



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Chris Co

Wed 8th Jun 2011 19:37

Red pretty toenails sharp as razors pledge their jealous rage

I like it- femme fatale

Chris

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Laura Taylor

Wed 8th Jun 2011 16:18

Hey, thanks for the notes Alison :)

See you at the end of the month then!

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Alison Smiles

Wed 8th Jun 2011 15:37

Just noticed you're at the Waterside this month. Date's in my diary ...

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Alison Smiles

Wed 8th Jun 2011 14:55

Thank you for your comments, much appreciated. Your poem in escape got my vote in the previous themed one, loved the gutsiness, the rhythm, the whole package!

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John Embley

Wed 8th Jun 2011 14:49

?? .... who said that?

Comment is about Tis I-someone else! (blog)

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John Coopey

Wed 8th Jun 2011 14:12

Nice attempt to appeal to my foot fetishism, Dave. I remain, however, coy.
Perhaps if you were to try, Izzy....

Comment is about Sox appeal (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 13:51

Very funny - and whan an unusual theme - you have taken me by surprise AND entertained me. I do like to be taken by surprise...

Comment is about Attention Deficit (blog)

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Isobel

Wed 8th Jun 2011 13:42

I'm lost for words Dave - every possible pun and word play has been used already. Am impressed by the speed you managed to deliver also! What a feet ;-) x

Comment is about Sox appeal (blog)

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Laura Taylor

Wed 8th Jun 2011 13:13

Love all the little shifts and tricks in here, the alliteration, the rhymes, the metaphors - it's jam-packed! And with such poignancy too.

Sounds great rolling round in my head - reckon it'd be a good one to perform.

Great poem.

Comment is about Tough old boots (blog)

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Laura Taylor

Wed 8th Jun 2011 13:10

*groan* very funny Dave - well played :D

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Laura Taylor

Wed 8th Jun 2011 13:07

Haha! Nice one Ray - love this, very clever

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Ray Miller

Wed 8th Jun 2011 12:14

Enjoyed the poem. I think the penultimate line would read better as

dried dirt from lakeside routes still in the tread

Comment is about Tough old boots (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Wed 8th Jun 2011 11:53

Brilliant, you certainly nailed it Dave, although it did begin to r-ankle a bit towards the end. Well done.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:45

I had never heard of Waterperry until this poem, and now it has crossed my path twice in two days. Strange. A beautiful place it seems; I hope to visit some day.

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kath hewitt

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:33

Thank you Cynthia.

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Alison Smiles

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:31

heheh, boots have popularity! My uncle does commissioned murals on people's walls of footwear. Ballet shoes in little girls bedrooms, football boots for little boys, that kind of thing!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:29

I doubt she wants to make the poem 'hers', Rodney. I think that is the point.

Comment is about Blameless (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:26

But highly entertaining. Very witty - a great read -well done.

Comment is about Sox appeal (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:22

Excellent. Do we read the title as the first line?

Comment is about yesterday (blog)

Original item by Banksy

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Rodney Wood

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:22

Sorry to name drop. Ezra Pound was talking about how poets should write about the concrete (in an essay about Do's and Dont's. In your case not writing about the actual abuse, but by using metaphor eg a puppy being mistreated say.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:20

I enjoyed this, Stefan - a great take on fruitless gossip.

Comment is about Tis I-someone else! (blog)

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kath hewitt

Wed 8th Jun 2011 10:10

'Pound's going in fear of abstractions'

What exactly does that mean?
Your last comment makes no sense to me at all.

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Rodney Wood

Wed 8th Jun 2011 09:46

Above my bed there is an fact a painting of an old boot.

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Rodney Wood

Wed 8th Jun 2011 09:44

Kathy,
I was writing about the poem and Pound's going in fear of abstractions.

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Alison Smiles

Wed 8th Jun 2011 08:53

Rodney, many thanks for comments. Gave me much useful thinking. Normally when I start a poem I seem to begin with a really strong first line, a good idea of the middle bit and flounder into a weak ending (well, that's how it always seems in my head). This one was a little bit of a departure, and the verse now at the start was originally the second verse.

It's really useful seeing your thoughts on this because although to me it tells a story in the sequence it happened, it doesn't always convey itself to the reader, and it's done me good having a good old think about this. The reason I shifted that verse is because the whole poem relates to getting rid of the old footwear of the deceased, and the first pair to go are the boots chosen to quite literally go to the grave.

Again, many thanks, you really have me pondering!

Comment is about Tough old boots (blog)

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Alison Smiles

Wed 8th Jun 2011 08:52

Hiya, many thanks for comments on my old boots poem. Gave me much useful thinking. Normally when I start a poem I seem to begin with a really strong first line, a good idea of the middle bit and flounder into a weak ending (well, that's how it always seems in my head). This one was a little bit of a departure, and the verse now at the start was originally the second verse.

It's really useful seeing your thoughts on this because although to me it tells a story in the sequence it happened, it doesn't always convey itself to the reader, and it's done me good having a good old think about this. The reason I shifted that verse is because the whole poem relates to getting rid of the old footwear of the deceased, and the first pair to go are the boots chosen to quite literally go to the grave.

Again, many thanks, you really have me pondering!

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andy n

Wed 8th Jun 2011 08:17

enjoyed it, Elaine although I was thinking about splitting it into a few stanzas as with it's power, it left me a bit red faced by the end of it..

top stuff however.

see you soon x

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Original item by Elaine

Pauline Rowe

Wed 8th Jun 2011 03:29

I like these too. What about those Liverpool Soap Operas? About time they had a tour of their own.

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Pauline Rowe

Wed 8th Jun 2011 03:04

I like your Thomas Tallis poem - music is so difficult in poems and you use this so well as a love poem, a memorial, an elegy. I can hear it, as I love that piece and someone else who loved it too - a long time ago. Thank you.

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Tue 7th Jun 2011 22:14

Almost

Comment is about Tis I-someone else! (blog)

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Larisa Rzhepishevska

Tue 7th Jun 2011 22:12

Hi, dear Stefan! Have you heard about logic puzzle of
Einstein? For me your poem looks like that.

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Banksy

Tue 7th Jun 2011 21:19

load of cobblers - too corny for words :)

Comment is about Sox appeal (blog)

Original item by Dave Bradley

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Banksy

Tue 7th Jun 2011 21:11

Hi Guys & Gals & many thanks for the comments

Comment is about the end of the past (blog)

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