Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sun 4th Mar 2012 14:27
I like this too, Anthony. There are some beautiful images with original phrasing and fine rhyming. IMO, I would have preferred the lines more closely linked so that the thought was quicker to grasp, and easier to retain. Twice I thought the poem must be finished, and then it just picked up again.
Comment is about genesis (blog)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
Sun 4th Mar 2012 14:16
This is great, M.C., a neat absurdity of grumpy determinism, full of quite weighty ideas.
Comment is about I COULDN'T CARE TUPPENCE (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Sun 4th Mar 2012 13:55
I heard it, too, by sheer chance. It would be awkward to say 'good luck', because it didn't make me feel 'lucky'. I felt 'abused' emotionally. It was an amazing presentation, powerfully interpreted, strikingly articulated, the sort of 'literary experience' that should be compulsory from ages 11 upwards, in schools and clubs everywhere. Perhaps the sheer force expressed in only words would check the need for physical violence. That's a very 'ancient, classical' idea, isn't it, one of the approaches defining 'catharsis'? Just asking.
Comment is about The death of Sophie Lancaster: elegy by Simon Armitage shortlisted for award (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Sun 4th Mar 2012 13:12
woderfully crafted one gentle floated image after another... your poem was just perfect.
Comment is about Coat (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Sun 4th Mar 2012 12:57
Very enjoyable Andy, vivid imagery and a well constructed and balanced poem.
Very well done
Hope to see you soon.
Comment is about From a Midnight train (Bolton) (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Sun 4th Mar 2012 12:52
Once again thank you as ever for reading and for your kind and encouraging comments.
Comment is about Philipos (Poet profile)
Original item by Philipos
Sun 4th Mar 2012 12:48
Thank you so much for your very worthwhile critique I am obliged.
The repetition of waving grass... is held within the poem as a , albeit clumsy, overlay as if in a movie scene.
I often try and imagine the scene very much in thesame way as a film director might... with the constant use of overlays transparcies and fades..
Once again many thanks for reading.
Comment is about Graham Robinson (Poet profile)
Original item by Graham Robinson
Sun 4th Mar 2012 12:42
To hell and back John, it has been a very erksome year..
How kind you are to welcome me back so warmly and thank you so much for reading my poem.
Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Sun 4th Mar 2012 12:38
Thank you for your very well thought through critique of my work. You are quite correct...
...the piece is to be, needs to be continued but I am not sure in which direction I should take it. So until then I shall leave it to dry out beneath the sun.
Once again so many thanks for taking the time and effort to respond to my poem.
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Sun 4th Mar 2012 12:33
Thank you so much everyone for reading and I am obliged as ever for your constructive critiques of my work.
Many thanks once again
Comment is about Ruby Like a Blood Red Flower (blog)
Original item by Augusta Darling
Sun 4th Mar 2012 12:15
Nice one mate congrats! Proud of the Octagon showcase!
Sun 4th Mar 2012 11:53
Really wonderful Marianne. I specially love the ease with which you capture the moment: it flows naturally and rhythmically.
Comment is about The Cellist (blog)
Sun 4th Mar 2012 10:57
Thanks Ann for reading Byeways. (Fortunately my grandchild is too young to notice the mixture of metaphors I used!)
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (Poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Sun 4th Mar 2012 10:54
don't we all hate those 'whispering worm-weevils', pity we can't use a pesticide on them. Good work.
Comment is about Slow Bombs (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Sun 4th Mar 2012 10:48
I heard this on the radio. It was very moving, especially with Sophie's mum talking about her.
Sun 4th Mar 2012 09:31
Really like the youtube stuff - maybe you can add a link to that on your blogs?
Comment is about (Poet profile)
Sun 4th Mar 2012 09:27
Nah Isobel - he looks like Louis Theroux! Seriously Joshua, I seem to have missed seeing you on here and not welcomed you either - that's my job! Sooooo sorry. You appeared at about the time I attempted to take over from Winston as meeter & greeter. So good that you've put loads of poems on - and I seem to have read and enjoyed them all this morning! A very belated welcome to WOL from me then.
Sun 4th Mar 2012 09:03
Good images for those weasel words Dave! Some people can give looks that have the same effect!
Sun 4th Mar 2012 09:00
An intriguin poem Mr Luchador! Hopefully you will get more comments when you blog a poem rather than a longer piece of prose. I think sometimes people see loads of words and get put off. Maybe we poets have a short attention span! (Speaking for myself here - though I don't feel like a poet any more - writer's block!)
Comment is about When Only Brain Damage Can Level the Field (blog)
Original item by The Luchador Poet
Sun 4th Mar 2012 08:50
Welcome to WOL Innocentia. Lovely to have you on board.
Comment is about Innocentia Sithole (Poet profile)
Original item by Innocentia Sithole
Sun 4th Mar 2012 02:04
Thanks for your comments on 'Bins' and remark about window cleaners - a good pun I like it
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (Poet profile)
Sun 4th Mar 2012 00:20
Comment is about SECRET (blog)
Original item by Mike Hilton
Sun 4th Mar 2012 00:17
Well written and vivid. I enjoyed this, Philipos. Looking back, the Empire was an extraordinary thing. How did 'we' have the nerve?
Comment is about IZIMPONDO ZANKOMO. (blog)
Sun 4th Mar 2012 00:09
Im so speechless, im touched, your work is an eye-opener, you've inspired me in more ways than one, beautiful just beautiful work thank you.
Comment is about Emmanuel Sairosi (Poet profile)
Original item by Emmanuel Sairosi
The Luchador Poet
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 22:09
Thank you for the welcome to WOL, it was much appreciated.
Patricia &Stefan wilde
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 20:23
Cheers loads Mike and Lynn.
Our best regards to you both.xx
Comment is about Essence of Peacefulness (blog)
Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 20:22
Oops! inspirers Mr Harry-
not inspirators as afore mentioned.
(by us.) tsk-tsk!
Comment is about illogicality (blog)
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 20:04
Clever this Laura but I think the last line might mar the otherwise excellent rhythm - could just be me of course.
Comment is about The Jester (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 18:17
Ray, you asked why I thought not many people had commented on this. The last three lines that Steve refers to may have made readers uneasy, and, as he says, they don't immediately seem to tie in with what has gone before. I linked it with Dominoes because it has similar historic/political references. This kind of theme interests me - I did a recent one called The Winter Gardens - and hope to do some more. Whether the reminiscences and reflections of us old 'uns mean anything to younger readers ... that's the challenge, I guess.
Comment is about Devaluation (blog)
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 18:10
Good to hear that this has been shortlisted.I was working in a local convenience store in Bacup at the time ,and the shop was inundated with people constantly buying flowers to pay tribute to Sophie.
I didn't know her personally,but anything that highlights the stupidity of hatred and intolerance gets my vote.
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 17:22
Perfect poem, very much enjoyed.
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 17:08
Beautiful! Magic stuff indeed. xx
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 16:10
Thanks for your comments on my last blog.I have just read your poem "Bins" and love the last line in the context you created. A most unlikely subject yet done with affection and skill. Neat! To follow up on Philipos's comments about window cleaners and dustmen...
"I'd be a window cleaner but always thought the job would be a pane in the glass"!! :-)
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 15:52
i like this. trust has gone up 50p in the shop near me x
Comment is about Shopping List Edit - Part 2 (blog)
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 15:50
I would have put...
"Turn it in, you daft prick! Are you having a
fucking laugh" - in the last line of the first
verse - merely to save on over-kill of expletives...but that's a personal view.
Comment is about Don't Take Yourself So Serious (blog)
Original item by Jack Pascoe
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 15:46
Here in London there's been similar problems,
with my local council seeking to approve an
application to knock down a one-hundred year
old attractive building in a busy well-known
thoroughfare. In short, they wanted to accomplish what Hitler's Luftwaffe failed to do! So far, after public objections, it reamins intact. But this sort of thing will happen when money and the philistines combine.
Over in Venice, they retain the facades while
completing wonderfully modern interiors...why
can't we look in that direction for how it can
be done? Poet Sir John Betjeman led the way
in the struggle to retain the old and worthy...
a great ambassador for the use for good of
Comment is about CONVERT (blog)
Original item by nick armbrister
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 12:36
thanks for your comments. i hoped to convey a sense of neutrality and reflection in the last couple of lines and not a feeling of despair. I think the poem could still be edited a bit.I dont think i need 'when i was twelve'
Comment is about food heaven and hell (blog)
Original item by Jacqueline Pemberton
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 11:16
Magic stuff again guys!
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 10:54
...hahaha...and No Friction Burns!!
erm...from the lead I mean...
' It's Creasing Me..all This Ironing '
Get yourself a good strong wristed woman...she will be better at it than you anyway..Ironing..of course!! - well- what did you think I mean ???
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 10:44
Hi Jack...(I love saying that on board a plane it scares the shit out of the cabin crew on the way to the loo)lol..
I'm with Yvonne...on this one
Great Message..Comedic and Powerful enough without the F's and C's in the last line of the 1st verse...would be 'brill' for stand up slam or a rant!!
Thanks Jack...enjoyable read.
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 08:18
I really like this Jacquiline. Really hits home.
Sat 3rd Mar 2012 08:16
Hi Mike - welcome to WOL! Hope that you enjoy exploring the site. I really like your poem; "the helicoptered sycamore" - lovely. Hope to see more of your work on here. If you want some feedback try posting a poem in our blog section.
Comment is about Mike Richardson (Poet profile)
Original item by Mike Richardson
Fri 2nd Mar 2012 23:31
This is a moving poem, and there is a sense of having come out the other side, into "neither heaven nor hell"; a state of neutrality. Very poignant.
Fri 2nd Mar 2012 22:26
Hi Ray - re voting - Send me a message on WOL. Sorry, should have said. Several people have already voted so I was lulled into a false sense of security! :)
Fri 2nd Mar 2012 21:59
There on Merchant banking business were yer?
Good 'ol laff Mikey!
cheers big ears.xx
Fri 2nd Mar 2012 21:55
so that where my mancrazy wife got to!
On your 'mettle' as per Mr.Muster
I must say(no part pun intended)
you go to some really interesting places..
Comment is about The Persistence Of Memory (blog)
Original item by Richie Muster
Fri 2nd Mar 2012 21:36
According to your opinion Mr Harry,
'we keep doing it'
Be that so,then be assured,
it is with the help of great inspirers
like thy good and kindly Liverpudlian self
that we are able to do so.xx
Fri 2nd Mar 2012 21:33
Good on yer Mrs Dye,s kid!
But I don't know
if I should be associating
with a 'temptress'...mmmm?
Oh go on then!
Patricia is out at the moment
having gone on another two hour leave
to the shops (ten minutes away)
to catch up on possible latest scandal.
So I,ll say thanks on her behalf
and bung you two kisses-
BUT NO TONGUES!!..xx
Fri 2nd Mar 2012 18:17
I agree, the lead in gives so much strength to the stark bleakness of the last six lines and their mainly monosyllabic structure hammers home the loneliness.
Fri 2nd Mar 2012 18:12
True,and we are pretty handy with a rolling pin if all else fails ( Mrs Bobbitt, of course, had her own take on things)
P.S. I like your poem. X X X
Comment is about WORDS (blog)
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