Fri 30th Mar 2012 23:04
So much truth in this one, Stef. A lot of thought, well done. xx
Comment is about Good grief! (blog)
Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Fri 30th Mar 2012 23:01
Aw, I like this very much, particularly the last line. xx
Comment is about Dreaming on (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 22:59
Great poem, or song, MC, enjoyed.
Comment is about LOVE'S NOT A WORD I CARE ABOUT (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Fri 30th Mar 2012 22:57
Great dedication to love. Beautiful poem! And...it really sounds like a song.
Haha, Yvonne, yes perhaps it does need a dictionary! Thank you for your comment. x
Thank you Stef and Tricia for your kind comment, um, still trying to work your second line out but not to worry! xx
Comment is about "KRUNF!" Says The Fnurk (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Fri 30th Mar 2012 22:52
Thank you very much, Cynthia.
Comment is about The Glopsnork (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 22:49
Mither:-We use it allt' time up here int' North
Likewise Mizzle (mist+drizzle)beloved of 'Look North's' weatherman.
English is a wonderful 'languages'
Comment is about Tawny Bridge (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Fri 30th Mar 2012 22:44
The 18 performers and audience members who came this month were treated to the fabulous Charlotte Henson's guest slot and the wonderful newcomer, Mike, a superb MC!
Good Points: great atmosphere, great poetry as always, everything, great to see so much support for local talent and creativity, brilliant night, all good, fab 'king fab, jollier than jollity farm, variety the spice of life, comfy bring on the dancing girls, great variety of poetry, good fun and food for thought, some great poetry, warm and friendly welcome even from latecomers!
Areas For Improvement: when it came to rap the c was silent like the p in the swimming pool.
Review is about Write Out Loud - Middleton on 22 Apr 2012 (Event)
John A Silkstone
Fri 30th Mar 2012 22:35
[no object] dialect, chiefly Northern English
• make a fuss; moan: oh men—don’t they mither?
• [with object] pester or irritate (someone): the pile of bills would mither her whenever she felt good
late 17th century: of unknown origin; compare with Welsh moedrodd 'to worry, bother'
Taken from the Oxford English Dictionary.
Fri 30th Mar 2012 22:29
I'll merely say "You what, John?!
Did they know WHO was going ON?
(P.S. - HAH...pull the other one!)
Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Hi Yvonne, This was something I wrote 11 years ago when I started writing and have never bothered to alter it.
Comment is about Years end (blog)
Original item by John A Silkstone
Fri 30th Mar 2012 22:12
Hello Larisa - I visited your website and found it creative and colourful! And what a fine looking city Odessa is...the photographs show it to be a grand mixture of the past and present, with some beautiful buildings and in a perfect position by the sea. Its "Steps" are familiar to film audiences everywhere. You are indeed fortunate to be a daughter of such a fair (as in "lovely") and famous city.
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (Poet profile)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Fri 30th Mar 2012 21:59
Some stimulating use of words here - I confess myself (and my Concise Oxford English dictionary) defeated by "mithered"...but it sounds wonderfully suggestive. Is there a "Mithering Sunday"?
I enjoyed this!
Fri 30th Mar 2012 21:57
There are many good images in this piece, John.You have certainly captured the essence of Autumn.
Probably needs tweeking here and there to give it an even more lyrical 'lilt'.The verb in the first sentence would sit better as a present tense. Is there a special reason why the flora and fauna have been accorded capital letters?
Fri 30th Mar 2012 21:46
Chemist? When the under-threat "Little Chef" has a selection as appetising as its new-fangled menu? Save the "Little Chef", never mind the Queen! Seriously (if you'll excuse the use of the word) - this is great! You should seek sponsorship from local chemists to recite it and help sales in these hard (or not so hard) times.
Comment is about A Trip to the Chemist (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 21:31
poor old wheelie bin. The last verse is effective.
Comment is about The Wheelie-bin Murder (blog)
Original item by Joe Hakim
Fri 30th Mar 2012 21:12
I can't stop humming the blooming hymn tune now!
Comment is about Morning prayer (blog)
Original item by Thomas Thurman
Fri 30th Mar 2012 21:11
AKA Frere Jaques?
Fri 30th Mar 2012 21:02
Is this a song?
There's a great deal of pathos in the last line of the 'chorus'. This grows on you (on me).
Fri 30th Mar 2012 20:25
Sidelines:- Great. I like the way the rhythm flows naturally and the rhymes are unforced. (I'm quite keen on rhythm and rhyme)
Me and you:- Succinct.You have encapsulated the poet's dilemma in a couple of lines ( well 4 to be accurate if there are any mathematitians amongst us)I like them both.
Comment is about I Admit I Am Ambivalent (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 20:17
A salutory warning that patriotism is not the perogative of one nation.
Almost a sonnet.
The gentle rhythm of the first two lines with long-vowelled, multi-syllabic words contrasts excellently with the short, sharp,snappy pace of the later phrasing:- 'as two fall dead', 'taking his war to the enemy'.
This technique reminds me of a line from french war poem from my youth:- 'He has two red holes in his right side' (Il a deux trous rouges au cote droit) It's a sonnet by Rimbaud 'Le Dormeur du Val' (inspired by the Franco-Prussin war I think)
Your poem reminded me of the stories of Japaneese soldiers stranded on small islands, who, unaware that the war had ended many years ago, were still defending the land for their country.I was kind of expecting an ending along those lines.
Comment is about SNIPER (blog)
Original item by nick armbrister
Fri 30th Mar 2012 19:33
John!!! How could I not have enjoyed your set at the Poetry Spoke??
Your word use an subject matter diverse..You're materclass in the guitar ..well just outstanding heh heh..serfing ... I thoroughly enjoyed the whole evening and it was great to see you and the better half too..
Did you enjoy?..
Fri 30th Mar 2012 19:32
Thankyou, steve black.Now it's high time I went. It simply ain't worth the effort anymore.
Comment is about Your Space or Mine (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 19:21
Awww RM....I feel as if commenting in the way I did I have perhaps spoiled some of your time..Who am I to know anything much..but when I read that the said bloke had argued to push his point home (pardon the pun)..now that made my blood boil for yer see I believe many are greatly influenced by what others say as it takes a very strong character indeedy to ignore advice/crit if you respect the person it is coming from..me??..I have changed a write because of crit from others who I respect (meaning I respect their writing) and found that it changes out of all recognition as one of 'mine.?' Dya know what I mean here?..
Now to writing groups..I think you have hit the said nail on the head with a big hammer when you mention the peeps there should be properly interested in all forms of writing, that type of interest is genuine and I would think a lot of good could come out of a session like that...but to put doubts in anothers mind...to slash their work oh dear me..I have wondered that if something happened to me like that would I have the guts to get up and say 'sod you' and carry on as if nothing had been said. Of course there is constructive crit, but still it has to come from someone that you respect as a writer..well I think so.
I was surprised by your asking for comments on your write RM because, well because I just didn't 'see' you in my minds eys loosing any sleep over what that bloke said..and that is probably why the said multiple iiii's happened for if you enjoyed writing the piece, if you thought that it said something..then who the heck am I or anyone else to dis it?..He argued..he did not say or give any good advice..that, I am sure is not what a writers group is for..well I bloody hope not..
It is such a shame that you live too far away to enjoy an open mike night..I expect when you run them yourself they were wonderful evenings..and I guess that after a time they lost their appeal too..soooo where do we go eh?..when we are at the stage you speak of?..Many times I have wished to be in my first year of writing (been writing for about twelve years now) Even if most of it was trite trash..at least it was fresh and new to me and I was full of words and ideas..annnnd I didn't bash myself up if I couldn't get it 'just so.' Have I made any sense at all?..probably not..I do hope you shake that group up out of its rut and that it goes on a strength..good luck :)) x
Comment is about Richie Muster (Poet profile)
Original item by Richie Muster
Patricia &Stefan wilde
Fri 30th Mar 2012 19:12
Comment is about It means nothing (blog)
Original item by Joy Claypool
Fri 30th Mar 2012 16:23
Hi Laura, 'Encroachment'. Yes, very sad to see the erosion of our lovely English fields even if badly needed for housing.
Has a sort of 'How Green was my Valley' feel to it.
Appreciate your comment.
Comment is about Laura Taylor (Poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Fri 30th Mar 2012 16:17
Hi Nick, 'Encroachment' you know you could be about right with poems being the legacy of our green (& brown) belts. Appreciate the comment.
Comment is about Nick Clifton (Poet profile)
Original item by Nick Clifton
Fri 30th Mar 2012 13:31
Wait - Ready - Aim - Fire - Dead and gone.
Ta muchly, Nick.
Fri 30th Mar 2012 13:08
Haw-Haw awfully good - plenty of the Cuban that time. Nice to see, or it would be if I didn't have me dark glasses on. Talking of glasses, you weren't but I was, I could do with one. I think I'll pop out and, as long as I'm not arrested for popping, get myself a stiff one. Nothing like that! Oh you are awful, but I like you. Tara for now. ps There's a straight-serious-proper poem going up in a minute. And it is small too! tara for a while, Nick.
Comment is about Space Knits (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 12:53
so what's wrong with sealing wax-
cabbages and kings and plans of mice and
men when they have only flat pack instructions
to go on?
And here are us two thinking-we- were on the wrong planet!
hello? Germany calling!
Fri 30th Mar 2012 12:26
Ey up lass,
guess what? You've really got me thinking re: writers' groups. Don't know for sure what your opinion of 'em is, altho all those 'iiiiiii's in that 'shiiiiit' add up to a large parcel of, well, shit. I'm also guessing that you didn't imagine me the kind of person to use 'em. And you know what? You're 50% right. Or were: it's more like 90% now I've sat back and reappraised my investment in 'em these past few days.
See, I've been ambivalent about 'em for a long time now; even used to run the buggers - and open mic nights - for a living [at best, as a kind of clinic for ongoing work they can be really useful - IF they are peopled by others equally invested in what's happening; at worst they are an 'oooh, that's nice dear' forum for people with nothing better to do than come along and listen to the sound of their own voice.]
Welcome, then, to the Accrington Writers 'Written World' - neato title, eh? The more I mused upon the inherent disdain for said groups in your single word appraisal, the more steps backwards I took to get a better look at what I've been doing with my Saturday afternoons over the recent past, and you know what? The group started to look less and less like the former, and too much like the latter: loud mouths looking for a captive audience to harangue with their all-encompassing knowledge of literature's so-called 'rules', weekend scribblers with no intention of listening to criticism/improving their craft and nice old dears simply doodling/enjoying the company [nothing expressly wrong with that - just the wrong arena.]
That's why I signed up to WOL - at least here I get people telling me what they think I've done - right and wrong - and occasionally suggesting ways of improving, much of which actually HAS improved my attempts.
Aaah, listen to me firing wildly and blindly - I'm just pissed off that I haven't the opportunities to go to open floors anymore. That's where the immediate, important response is: if they love ya they clap and cheer; if not they shout 'crap!' and jeer. I'm an 'artist' [?!? oh dear gods did he really just call himself that?] and I need an audience that's actually listening - that's all this boils down to.
Well, forgive me for taking up time better spent on, well, better thingies. I think I just needed to vent some spleen [or take a nice loooong holiday where nothing looks familiar and no-one can understand a word I'm saying, let alone tell me that I don't know how to write in iambic pentameter.] I'd sure be interested to know what you and all the other good folk on WOL have to say about these strange beasts.
Comment is about (Poet profile)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 12:13
Thank you gentlemen. I'm enjoying sharing, and receiving useful feedback.
I haven't got that many poems, given how long I've been at it, so I'll have to parcel them out slowly.
Fri 30th Mar 2012 11:16
Lovely dark imagery. Any death would leave your audience reeling. Ta muchly, Nick.
Comment is about For those who travel far. (blog)
Original item by Danny Metcalfe
Fri 30th Mar 2012 11:15
or should that be blimey Nick-ly!
were you wearing running shoes this morning?
As quick off the mark as we are
to thank you very much Nick.xx
Comment is about Global warning (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 11:13
I feel invigorated by the wonderful rhythms. Tripping off the tongue and brightening the mind is making my day. Ta muchly, Nick.
Fri 30th Mar 2012 11:09
Them there 'small headstones' is succinct and yet says a great deal. Cut out this sort of lovely versage or I'll be forced to like them. You have been warned. Succinct! Indeed! Lovely stuff, keep 'em coming, ta muchly, Nick.
ps totally apt pic, too boot!
Fri 30th Mar 2012 11:04
We agree with everyone of the comments below.
Comment is about Happy Marriage (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 10:50
Thanks very much Yvonne.
What a great Winter drink
those 'barleys' were.
Seem hard to come by now for whatever reason?
Never heard the expression 'liquid knickers?'
does that have anything to do
with the neccessary invention of pee pads,
or a new type of underwear that Ladies can
wear in the bath in order to maintain
respectability-like wot they do...oh yeah!-lol.xx
Marianne Louise Daniels
Fri 30th Mar 2012 10:48
oooh I love ee cummings Nick!
Scowling clouds - brilliant image.
Comment is about Eesless (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Fri 30th Mar 2012 10:43
Don't you dare keep quiet Mr.C.
we need your noise to drown out
Grandads guitar playing.
Playing!? yeah right.xx
Comment is about Castles in the air (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 10:15
Thank you for the comments, I wrote this yesterday and tankered with it for the best part of it. One to perform in the future and so testing the waters with some new stuff.
Comment is about Enter Violet (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 10:12
Thank you for your comments, I am very touched that you have appreciated my work. I don't think I am very publisher-friendly, but I will keep trying.
Relinquishing Pain is so raw and truthful - I admire your bravery. Beautiful read.
Comment is about Noetic-fret! (Poet profile)
Original item by Noetic-fret!
Fri 30th Mar 2012 10:03
Thanks both for your comments, I am glad the CBT poem struck a chord - it is far more tangible than the first, which doesn't much work out on a limb.
Comment is about Yellow Trousers (blog)
Original item by Abegail Morley
Fri 30th Mar 2012 10:01
I really like the CBT piece. Having had it myself, I can identify with some of those lines.
Fri 30th Mar 2012 09:44
Another entry for the RSPB/Rialto comp I think Phil :) I like the simplicity in this, and the imagery which has a soothing innocence to it, until you get to the lines 'destined for new homes', and that last verse is killer. Excellent! We have lost so much of our 'waste' land these days...every square bloody inch of it built on - it seriously gets to me.
Comment is about ENCROACHMENT. (blog)
Original item by Philipos
Fri 30th Mar 2012 09:38
Oh - handy hint of today - if you reply to me, do it on MY profile, cos then I get an email notification :) I only checked on here cos quite a lot of newbies don't know about that and do the same thing as you :)
And welcome to WOL! :)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 09:34
First of all - what an unusual structure - mind, most of yours have an unusual structure (a GOOD thing!) ;)
'rinsing my brain with salt', 'We ate spears of plum meat
secured on a rose thorn
that curled up like a butterfly’s tongue'
there are some astonishingly good lines in this - I don't think it's clunky at all.
Fri 30th Mar 2012 07:00
Thanks again for your comments. I take them seriously.
Yvonne,I've eliminated 'archipelago' entirely. I'll post the re-written version soon.
Harry,I've always thought the last line might have warranted an extra beat rather than the penultimate line, but I'll look again. Thanks
Comment is about An Avian Theme (blog)
Fri 30th Mar 2012 06:54
Thank you Laura. I'll do as you suggest.
Fri 30th Mar 2012 06:26
Yes, I agree with Harry. Shame on you, John! You made me smile and I remembered a joke.
A prostitute to a passing old man:
- 50 dollars with a condom, 100 dollars without it.
An old man: I'll give you 200 dollars if you manage to put it on.
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