Tue 6th Mar 2012 10:13
Thanks for reading and taking time to comment on fertileland, any encouragement always welcome
Comment is about Dave Bradley (Poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Tue 6th Mar 2012 09:30
Yeah, that's about right, Steve. Original title was The Post-War Consensus. I like that better.
Comment is about Devaluation (blog)
Tue 6th Mar 2012 09:27
Hello Greg. Devaluation - it's a poor poem but I was trying to show how ideas and attitudes are absorbed by children, amongst other things. The last 3 lines are the one part of the poem that I'm happy with.
Comment is about Greg Freeman (Poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Tue 6th Mar 2012 09:18
Thanks for your words about fertileland. Comments from one whose own work I admire are great to have.
Comment is about (Poet profile)
Tue 6th Mar 2012 09:15
Thanks for commenting on fertileland. Was not sure if it worked so pleased you sussed out what I was trying to say!
Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Tue 6th Mar 2012 08:36
Wot! No interest from men? Does this appeal only to women?
Comment is about Stairlift to Heaven (blog)
Tue 6th Mar 2012 07:02
Hahahah! I hope you have patented this invention!
Tue 6th Mar 2012 06:57
I did enjoy, thank you! Shame you didn't do an audio and sing it! I remember the original song but not well enough to get the tune in my head. I should write a follow up - "Here In Cornwall!" For when the bus breaks down!
Comment is about Here in Devon (blog)
Original item by Jack Pascoe
Tue 6th Mar 2012 06:50
Congrats Anthony - you won the serendipity comp! You are being very modestly quiet about it! Maybe you are away. You've had lots of nice congrats messages on the blog where it was announced but not on your page it seems so it's possible you don't even know. Well done!! It was a really good poem and a good reading of it too. xx
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (Poet profile)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
Tue 6th Mar 2012 01:45
another smart and sassy classic of your street girl style, some great phrases with clever word play, twisting turnin bumpin grinding :)
not seen you for while, good write x
Comment is about Can You Hear The Drums? (blog)
Original item by Augusta Darling
Tue 6th Mar 2012 01:26
it will confuse...or rather challenge the brain to think which is a good thing, especially with this subject x
Comment is about How Pathetic (blog)
Original item by Rhys David Eyles
Tue 6th Mar 2012 01:25
nice ideas. good symbol of the pale blue rose. cold like hot red blood but from the outside.
i like the melancholia in your poems. you like a little morrissey ;)
Comment is about Pale Blue Rose (blog)
Tue 6th Mar 2012 01:21
I was never sure whether that bi would work the wa I intended it to or just confuse people, guess it worked out after all :) Thankyou
Tue 6th Mar 2012 01:19
enjoyed this at bury.
especially this bit:
They are as different from you,
As they are from me,
You are as different from them,
As I from you,
We are collectively as different,
As we are the same,
I can see that,
Why cannot you?
good writing :)
Tue 6th Mar 2012 01:02
As a general rule I tend not to appreciate rhyming unless used sparingly, but your work seems to fit quite neatly with the world of rhyme, I have to say I love the way you make it seem much more natural, making it seem as if the rhyming is just a coincidence, allowing the poem to flow that little bit easier. Very good.
Comment is about If I Only Had The Words (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Tue 6th Mar 2012 00:56
Fantastic first night Charlotte, turned out very well, despite the mishaps, but one can't expect a first night to go absolutely perfect. Hats off to you for holding your own, you did terrifically, and I am sure everybody will, hopefully bringing more along for the ride. I for one will be showing up regularly :)
Review is about Once More With Meaning on 4 Mar 2012 (Event)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 23:09
Hey up, John, glad you liked Distant Friends. I did do a little tweaking, and hope it reads better, thanks for comment. :)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 21:50
Me too, A stop you in your tracks moment. I think the programme transcended both poetry or drama. It WILL become a classic for all the wrong reasons. A totally stunning piece of work.
Comment is about The death of Sophie Lancaster: elegy by Simon Armitage shortlisted for award (article)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 21:07
thanks for comments on 'disgrace' your thoughts appreciated x
Comment is about Mike Hilton (Poet profile)
Original item by Mike Hilton
Mon 5th Mar 2012 19:21
Thank you everyone for your comments, much appreciated.
Yvonne, I understand what you mean about verse. I often find it works better with some poems than others. This originally started out quite quirky, until I decided the subject deserved a more sensitive approach.
John and Dave, I am most interested in your mention of a syllabic tweak. Someone on here once advised using the same amount of beats in each line, which was something I hadn't tried before. So I did try it here, and what do you know, it hasn't worked so well!!
So I have tweaked it now more into my usual format.
Stef, I'm glad you were looking over my shoulder, I don't know how I missed that word, so thanks a lot. xx
Comment is about Distant Friends (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Mon 5th Mar 2012 19:20
A lovely poem that easily conjures up images in the mind and there's a great lyrical feel to it too.
Comment is about Coat (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Mon 5th Mar 2012 18:02
This reminds of when you come home from a rave and you've still got the beat pounding in your head due to 'Charlie'. I'm probably a million miles off what you're trying to put across, but that was my interpretation.
Great structure and rhyme scheme by the way. Loved it.
Mon 5th Mar 2012 17:56
Brilliant packed night at ThePoetry Spoke.
Great Guests, wonderful poetry and music from new readers and fantastic friends.
35 people on the night- absolutely packed to the rafters- A big thx to all who attended;
you make the night!
Quality writing, reading, entertainment and art!
Great Guest Poet set from Graham Robinson and a fantastic music set from Petrova C Fairhurst.
Plus a wonderful notable award winning poem from Stella Jones.
Review is about ThePoetry Spoke on 28 Feb 2012 (Event)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 17:49
Love it! Silly and yet serious in equal measure.
Comment is about I COULDN'T CARE TUPPENCE (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Mon 5th Mar 2012 16:22
Particularly liked the last two stanzas, but would have liked it to end on some sort of reference to the train
Good work though
Comment is about From a Midnight train (Bolton) (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Mon 5th Mar 2012 15:35
I enjoyed this too Glyn, An unusual subject to chose and skillfully handled to get your message accross. Worked for me. Win
Comment is about changing a fuse (blog)
Original item by Glyn Pope
Mon 5th Mar 2012 15:28
I liked this one Tom, Its a type of imagery I have visited myself. From the philosophical end in the burnt palm and true side to the (for me) uncertainty in faith of the start. Houston.
Comment is about Truth or Dare (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Mon 5th Mar 2012 15:20
Mon 5th Mar 2012 14:33
Yay! Adding my own and other people's events, and slowing beginning to fill in the big empty hole in the middle of Wales.
Comment is about link
Mon 5th Mar 2012 13:35
Thanks for your comment on 'Don't take youself so serious'. I decided to change that particular line and make it a bit more jocular. Took out one of the verses as well to make it a bit more universal instead of narrowing it down to just poets, people in other professions take themselves too seriously as well sometimes.
Anyway, glad you enjoyed reading it and i hope you get a chance to look at the new version.
p.s If we do end up on a plane together, make sure it's not going to America. I don't think the hijack thing goes down too well with American airlines. Some people have no sense of fun eh?
Comment is about Graham Robinson (Poet profile)
Original item by Graham Robinson
Mon 5th Mar 2012 13:22
Thanks for your comment on 'Don't take yourself too serious'. I'm glad you enjoyed reading it. I've made afew changes to it recently if you want to take a look. Hopefully i've made it a bit more universal in doing so.
I like your samples, very engaging. Especially 'Great North Diver'
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (Poet profile)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Mon 5th Mar 2012 12:58
Hey nice one Joy!! Great stuff :)
Comment is about Joy France tours poetry nights to raise charity awareness (article)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 12:55
Disturbing, fractured, fragmenting, and that picture scares the shite out of me. My mother dropped me on the head when I was a baby, onto paving stones. Sayin nowt.
Which is to say that I found this a very interesting and provocative write milady.
Comment is about visual cliff (blog)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 12:46
Really interesting piece this - I like how it's written as well :)
Comment is about Gourds (blog)
Original item by Graham Clifford
Mon 5th Mar 2012 12:44
equasive/experimeant - I love made up words, I do, and these are great
Preggers test eh? Or that, combined with a IVF?
Comment is about 10 Anti Demagogy (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Mon 5th Mar 2012 12:39
Hi Augusta, this is excellent. Love the images it creates and some wonderful lines.
Mon 5th Mar 2012 12:33
Hey thanks everyone - appreciate it :)
Phil - what would you change about it? How many more syllables? I've just read through it again and it seems fine to me?
Andy - glad you liked that :)
Comment is about The Jester (blog)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 12:31
Heyhey - yeh, trust is rocketing at the moment ;)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 12:01
Brilliant, John. Thanks for a good laugh! x
Mon 5th Mar 2012 11:57
Hello again Yvonne,
Once again I find myself in awe of your critique, I find all of your comment very encouraging and helpful.
Thank you once again.
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 11:48
'On the surface this seems a simple recollection of a basic procedure but methinks there is a lot more going on.' and of course you are correct, Steve. As the youngest I lost a lot. I suppose gained more in that I wasn't pressured 'to do well' and I was spoilt because that was the easiest way. But sometimes spoilt children are neglected. My sister ignored them because she was a girl and girl's didn't do men's work. Thanks for your comment Steve.
Mon 5th Mar 2012 11:36
Hello and Good Morning to you Andy,
Thank you as always for reading and commenting on my recent posting.
Well, you know Gus he doesn't do 'Good Behaviour' you know what they say Andy about old dog new tricks.
I will give him your regards and best wishes when next we...
...see each other.
Comment is about Andy N (Poet profile)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 11:27
Hello and good morning John,
I'm a simple person at heart John but must admit to be somewhat confused and amused by your comments and in particular those that elude to Erotica.
Perhaps if your profile pic was a little less
Chippendaleesque I could muster a little more control.
Mon 5th Mar 2012 11:09
Thanks for commenting on 'Don't take yourself so serious'. I've edited since posting and decided to cut out the expletives and a single verse to make it less confrontational. I feel the message is still there though. Have a look if you fancy.
Mon 5th Mar 2012 11:03
Decided to take you advice and cut back on the old bad language. I cut a verse out also 'cause i think it sounds better without it i think. Check it out if you want.
Nuff luv 'n' tha'
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (Poet profile)
Mon 5th Mar 2012 11:02
My understanding led me to believe that this was a child's perception of overheard conversations, post-war disappointment etc. All done through the currency of confectionary. There might well be a sherbert lemon reference in the conclusion but I was too dim to notice.
Mon 5th Mar 2012 10:55
If I were in some kind of position of literary authority then I would encourage you to mind your language, I'm not, so don't worry. I struggled at times with the phrasing and grammar but if that was intended then it does reflect well the damage done. I was reminded of Larkin's infamous piece but with more overt sinsiter tones. What I do like in the main with your work is that you tackle grown-up themes, I was slightly concerned recently to read school kids were encouraged to stop by and read the blogs section. I hope this marks a return to the kind of style that rightly garnered you praise. I shall award thee three and half stars out of five.
Patricia &Stefan wilde
Mon 5th Mar 2012 08:18
Good poem on a topical subject
i.e gay marriages etc.
Not keen on on the idea of marriage
being redefined but as you indicate,
we are now living in a crazy,imperfect world.
Might one just point out
in a kindly way that you forgot
to include the word-see-in the second line
third verse."but I could-see-she was quite upset"
Oh yes! we're looking over your shoulder!
Mon 5th Mar 2012 08:06
Thanks for reading and your opinion Glynn.
Comment is about Essence of Peacefulness (blog)
Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Mon 5th Mar 2012 08:05
Thank you Glynn,Yvonne and Lynn.
Comment is about Deletions (blog)
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