Sun 4th Nov 2012 20:02
Ann - your poem is so delightful - love it!
Comment is about Your poems wanted for school’s poet tree (article)
Original item by Julian Jordon
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:53
Phil, thanks for your comments on The Black Beach. It is a striking statue, isn't it?
Comment is about Philipos (Poet profile)
Original item by Philipos
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:49
Steamy stuff, Graham. "My knodd lay on the floor,/
you showed me where your pluggis was, /
I fumbled with your klor." I was quite deflated to discover it was about Ikea. At the start I thought it might have been about middle-class cooking ingredients, for some strange reason. A belter, anyway. Greg
Comment is about Q-AY? (blog)
Original item by Graham Sherwood
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:42
This is a fine poem, Isobel, that says a hell of a lot in just a few lines. That thing about the weather is clever, too.
Comment is about Small Talk (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:26
Thanks for the feedback :) I only started writing a few weeks ago.
I'm against violent uprisings, they only end in a violent system and it just means the person with the most guns wins. But I think some sort of profound change in people's perceptions of the way goverments and big businesses run would be a good start!
Comment is about Lack of information is obscene and cronic (blog)
Original item by Wez Jefferies
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:22
Love this! Take care, Tony.
Comment is about Wez Jefferies (Poet profile)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:16
ps I like it cos it's quirky.
Comment is about Hidden Agendas (blog)
Original item by Katypoetess
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:15
It sounds like you have a complicated life - it took me some time to work out the first verse :)
If you chopped the odd syllable, particularly in the second verse, it could skip along like a child's rhyme.
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:06
Thanks for your comments on mine John. Yes - I'm experimenting with a more simple style at the moment. I need to get back to comedy at some point - will have to hone my rhyming talent for that :)
Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Sun 4th Nov 2012 19:01
This made me laugh. Great social commentary and the introduction was hilarious.
Comment is about Posh Tramps (blog)
Original item by Cathy Crabb
Sun 4th Nov 2012 18:56
I think what you've written is brilliant.
But please postpone the Western spring till I'm dead and gone, I wouldn't wish to inhabit a world where it's going take another five hundred years while you fill the vacuum with a society, which would no doubt eventually, mirror the one we live in today.
Upheaval of the system on a scale you have in mind will create just as much misery and injustice,(probably more) than we enjoy at the present. We're still evolving! there'll be no peace until, in maybe a thousand years, when religion is a past superstition. And we live in a United States of the World.
Great stuff though. KED.
Sun 4th Nov 2012 18:52
Thanks for your comments everyone.
Yes Chris, I could probably have made it sparser and made a neater point about small talk. I don't think I could have made it sparser and also got across the mood and mental images I wanted to create though.
Cathy's comment says it all for me, in not many words - huge small talk. :)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 18:40
Haha - yes you've hit the nail on the head with those posters and that is most certainly the type of thing I'm referring to.
Your reaction I must say is very much my own on this one lol. The odd thing is that so many genuinely nice people and friends say/promote such things.
I reserve condemnation for the issue and don't think of it in the context of the people involved - I absolve them - no blame here.
I usually just walk off and sigh - like so many others.
When you learn to do that
thing that you fear more; the
more you become fearless.
And then you discover that
the only power fear ever had;
Was the power you gave it.
Or you realize nothing because it's too late and maybe your dead lol. Fear is obviously a very important emotion that has evolved - it has done so to protect us. For the most part it not only does a good job; it is absolutely vital!
In modern life it could be that having no fear sees you; wave goodbye to your job, house, stocks, marriage etc etc.
Again one of those all encompassing pearls of wisdom :( Mmmmm marvellous.
Facebook like many other tools will outlive its use, become outmoded, or be ditched for one reason or another. Perception is crucial in its success, if that fades then it's all over for Facebook.
How long it lasts will be based to some degree on the ability of those running it; to identify problem issues and tackle them.
Comment is about Superstition (blog)
Original item by Chris Co
Sun 4th Nov 2012 18:18
I was surprised by the relative sparseness of the language. Sparse-ish short-ish, neat, implied yet accessible.
Good to confound expectations with differing styles now and then. Far more interesting than a certain red wheelbarrow imo.
Could the poem be tighter, truly sparse and still retain its essence? I think it could, with some work. But either way - Enjoyable -
Sun 4th Nov 2012 17:38
It reminds me of the final verse of Bob Dylan's Desolation Row.
"Yes, I received your letter yesterday
About the time that the door-knob
Then you ask me how I'm doing,
Is that some kind of joke?"
It's what Paul Simon called "The Dangling Conversation".
Sun 4th Nov 2012 17:30
This would go well with an audio, Y. It would put me out my misery of deciding whether it has deliberate metre or deliberately not.
Comment is about Forever (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Sun 4th Nov 2012 12:57
Hello y. I'm afraid 'nick nocky' is entirely the work of kd. It was my tribute and cheeky contribution to the discussion on experimental poetry in the blog 'william carlos williams red wheelbarrow'.
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)
Ledger de la Bald
Sun 4th Nov 2012 11:38
Liked the way you pulled it around at the end-good poem Ann, I enjoyed reading it.
Comment is about absent friends (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Sun 4th Nov 2012 11:31
'Like' is probably the wrong word, but I do find it a painfully accurate reflection of the lives of many people.
How does one get past the minutae, into a more meaningful discussion/relationship?
Who takes the first step, or are both sides of the conversation culpable?
Huge small talk x
Sun 4th Nov 2012 11:17
Yuk yuk yuk! I love the idea of the teacher being the source of all nits - the turning on the head of conventional thought :))
Very funny. Did you write this for the school poetry tree?
Comment is about A contented nit (blog)
Original item by hugh
Alison Mary Dunn
Sun 4th Nov 2012 11:08
Mikhail, thank you so much x
Comment is about Mikhail Smith (Poet profile)
Original item by Mikhail Smith
Sun 4th Nov 2012 11:07
Lynn, thank you so much x
Comment is about Lynn Dye (Poet profile)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Patricia &Stefan wilde
Sun 4th Nov 2012 09:41
Sun 4th Nov 2012 09:39
So very enjoyable.
(in a sad way)
Comment is about THE LONG HARM OF LOVE (blog)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 09:37
we thank you for this one.
(no rhyme intended)xx
Sun 4th Nov 2012 09:06
Thank you Yvonne on both counts.xx
Comment is about Burden (blog)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 08:00
One from me...
Cats and dogs
When I go walking in the park
(promise I won’t go when it’s dark!)
I like to take my friend with me
He is a dog, he’s called Pippy!
He’s quite small but his tail is big
He’s got long hair, not like a pig!
He always smiles, he just can’t frown
He cheers me up when things seem down.
We love to jump into the leaves
All piled up beneath the trees
Sometimes we’re muddy – we don’t care!
With wet raincoat and soggy hair!
But when I get back where it’s warm
Another friend sits by my arm
All cosy on the red settee
My lovely cat – called Anne-Marie!
Sun 4th Nov 2012 07:11
Thanks guys - was written as a bit of a mickey-take of myself really - becoming a bit of a grumpy old woman recently! :)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 07:07
I find this one a tough read. To me it speaks of bitterness of how things are. I like the line that says................the guilt of love becomes a quilt of soot. So very true in more ways than one.
Nice work Yosh!
Sun 4th Nov 2012 06:59
Hi Tommy, I like this one, or rather, it intrigues me. Not sure why, but it might be the second stanza whereby you say....as all that is will come about with out you being ready!
I am wondering what it is you refer to here. Looking at the poem as whole I get the drift of it, but still it leaves me feeling that perhaps there is a missing stanza. Maybe you intended this, maybe not. It is quite clever in its shortness and brevity, and leaves you wanting more.
Comment is about Applause (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Sun 4th Nov 2012 06:50
Hi Julian! Thank you for the comment on The Shortest Time to Live. I know that often I place poetry (or even music) that some would laugh at, and being honest I don't blame them for laughing. Because of my suffering I don't often edit my work because I am mentally and emotionally drained. However, sometimes I pull something from the hat that 'feels' more in touch with my heart and mind. Here, in this piece I am reflecting something I am witnessing on a day to day basis. And by that I don't just mean the devastation our world is currently going through, I am also referring to how I witness people behave on the streets and at large. I do see many bidding each a farewell, and it has come to pass whereby I too, I'm being bid a farewell, and all I can think about is the children whom have not yet had a chance at life. I hope, that I can be proven wrong, and that the current impass of devastation relieves itself from the carnage it is doing. But my guess is, that it will get worse before it gets better, or that man is able to do anything about it.
Thank you julian, your comments really matter, as do everyone elses.
Stay well - Mike.
Comment is about Julian Jordon (Poet profile)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 06:36
Yvonne, thanks for taking the time to read and comment
The Ofsted thing is part of my ongoing battle to stop writing about people who may go into a school, which came about with the little WOL campaign to write/submit poems that would go on the Poet-tree at Kingsland School
Sun 4th Nov 2012 06:34
All we can do is hope
Sun 4th Nov 2012 03:53
The perfect girl, paying for my drinks while I pub ramble . .good one Hugh .
Comment is about Completely Bald (blog)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 01:24
Gentle humour releasing the tension from fraught circumstances. Well done, love it. xx
Comment is about A forgotten proposal (blog)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 01:19
Aha, I see!
Comment is about Significant Sight (blog)
Original item by Roy Chetham
Sun 4th Nov 2012 01:18
I trust that this is not plagiarism, John, and that Doddy has not registered these words as intellectual property.
To be hypercritical for a moment I feel that the alliteration is a little overworked but apart from that, if this is a tribute to the great and wonderful Ken, penned by your own fair hand ( not that I've had a close-up of your hand so the bit about fair is poetic licence and you can feel free to ignore it if you so wish) erm where was I? Oh yes, If you wrote it then all the literary analysis by our learned colleagues in praise of its poetic skill and artistry is actually praising you and your work not Doddy's.
Comment is about Experimental Poetry (blog)
Sun 4th Nov 2012 01:17
Well that's one aspect of Facebook that you are looking at. Those bland pompous statement that people post are the equivelant to the shit that you used to get on posters from Athena - the ones students used to hang in their rooms...
'True friends are people you can be quiet with..' and a picture of two people in a boat not talking to each other in the sunset....
= fingers down the throat and wretch kind of statements.
I can't see Facebook dying any time soon. Too many people seem to have built it into their lives - in fact they don't seem able to go to a wedding reception, a night out or anything without posting at the same time.
It's an interesting comparison anyway.
Sun 4th Nov 2012 01:05
A great take on a modern problem. Love the last line - sort of whips the rug from under one, makes one realise the size of the issue.
Comment is about Modern love (blog)
Original item by Freda Davis
Sun 4th Nov 2012 01:00
love the simile at the end. A tender treatment of a difficult subject.
PS I like you new profile pikki. xx
Sun 4th Nov 2012 00:55
Yeah, you had me going for a moment there ( I thought your keyboard was knackered) What a merry ditty. Have you read John Coopey's Ikea song on his profile? maybe you are starting a trend in this Ikea anniversry year.
Sun 4th Nov 2012 00:52
clever stuff - what a cheery ending after the depressing middle. Liked it Ann.
Sun 4th Nov 2012 00:49
Gosh, thanks Steve for reminding me that Ofstead is due at my establishment. We only get 2 days notice now so if that teacher's school doesn't pass will you send me the address - I could apply for her job!
Comment is about The Visitor (blog)
Original item by steve mellor
Sun 4th Nov 2012 00:26
I guess I'm still alive since you're writing to me so I'd better find me pencil stub and me tatty bit of wallpaper and return to the chase. I've just been reading your Ikea song again and I can't stop laughing!
Sat 3rd Nov 2012 22:00
Hi John, Am I right in saying it was St Dodd
who was banned from TV for saying,
"A man has a lot of hair on his head
but on the whole a woman has more."?
Ahh provocative Doddy.
Sat 3rd Nov 2012 21:54
Ey up, Y.
Wot you doin' on this site again! Not seen you since your rather poor "100 Metres" pipped my excellent "Whinge and Fucking Bleat" to the tape in the Olympic Competition.
Get yourself a new pencil sharpener.
(Oh and thanks for the comments on "Racist Is...")
Sat 3rd Nov 2012 21:49
Thanks for your thoughts on "Racist Is As...".
I buy into the truth of what you say, but only to this extent.
Total non-racism would entail a complete change of attitude in every one of us. This is an ideal.
I'd settle for a complete change in behaviour.
Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)
Sat 3rd Nov 2012 21:44
Glad you liked "Racist Is..." and "Experimental Poetry". Yes, it struck me that there's more than one way to enter the debate about poetry.
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (Poet profile)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
Sat 3rd Nov 2012 21:39
Glad you liked "Racist Is...", Win.
Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
© Copyright Julian Jordon Ltd. All rights reserved.