Chris Co

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:53

It seems clear to me that you're attacking bigotry through the irony of its own language where ceratin lines are the 'tells'.

Mell Brooks went about the subject of race in the same, (yet utterly different) way in the film Blazing Sadles. Some mistakenly said the film was the product of racism; entirely missing the point.

It's good writing, it asks questions of the reader/listener. How it is recieved will be as much a reflection of the understanding and views of each person coming to it, as it was of your intentions in writing it.

My Best

Chris

Comment is about Out (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:53

Plenty of great stuff in there. I see you've been to Ibiza then! Wonderful wordage compiled to express and hit the euphoric zone. Well played, ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about White blood. (blog)

Original item by Danny Metcalfe

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:44

Check your hearing for that penultimate line!! Is this the sterotypical genuine superclaimant who is on a fortune? No wonder he can afford to get married in these austere times. Bigot! what bigot, where? Sent up beautifully, and PC to boot! Ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about Out (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Chris Co

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:42

You're always great at mixing Yorkshire vernacular and the queens English to comic effect. The poem seems to parody; one might say take the piss out of itself :)

Hilarious John.

My Best

Chris

Comment is about There's Allus a Dribble That's Left (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Glyn Pope

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:41

Yes, on second reading I so like it. I see what Harry means about 'right' it could have just been missed out. 'What went wrong'

Comment is about Here's a poem from notebook 40, the 2nd in fact... (blog)

Original item by Mike Smith

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:33

Making verbal love to OJ must be the right of everyone in the hospital. Does your nurse know you're out? It was fun, Ta muchly, Nick.
ps. The April fish is now resting for another year.

Comment is about My Only Love (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Glyn Pope

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:32

Like it. Unusual subject.

Comment is about inFLUence (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:28

Mike it Smith. That's got to be put out there. A shame if only us readers get the benefit of your true talent. Ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about Here's a poem from notebook 40, the 2nd in fact... (blog)

Original item by Mike Smith

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:20

Not 100% sure about some of the beatage but is a many splendid thing you got 'ere. I like this enough to suggest it could be a song. A no.1 hit - maybe! Ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about HIGH SOCIETY DREAMER (blog)

Original item by John A Silkstone

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:16

Grand Stuff from the sonnet king. How you turn an ordinary into a special is a rare skill. Keep 'em coming. Ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about On first looking into an A to Z (blog)

Original item by Thomas Thurman

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:10

I didn't know you were this fiesty Yvonne. Don't want to meet you down a dark alley!
Brilliant idea getting back at the beasties. ta muchly Nick.

Comment is about inFLUence (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 18:02

'memories' + 'an image from behind' and her words in past tense lend the thought that the gardener is no longer tending? Bright coloured imagery of a piece that bears a deep melancholy feel. Ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about Weeds (blog)

Original item by Andrew Barnes

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 17:55

Patrolling country, cliff and city - alliteration abounds and pigeon pie for the hawk's tea one hopes, ta muchly Nick.

Comment is about HAWK (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 17:44

Interesting take on a touchy subject. As I see it the speaker is doing everything he can to persuade the listener/reader that s/he is an open-minded liberal(not lib-dem) person who is not at all bigoted/racist/anything-ist. But first betrays his/her attitude in the lines
'It was hard enough talking to him before,
Because he’s black,'
But the revelation of his/her true character is in the last line.
It's a clever play on the comic treatment and sting in the tail for which I like this piece.

Comment is about Out (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 17:29

Aha, the sonnetster returns ( or gets lost)
Those of us with two left hands salute you and recognise a brother in distress (or detour or diversion or decoy). Excellent treatment of the subject. I enjoyed it.
By the way as a complete change of approach to being lost have you read Les Barker's 'Napoleon’s Circular Retreat from Reading'?

Comment is about On first looking into an A to Z (blog)

Original item by Thomas Thurman

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 17:02

I like. I like the brevity: you say all that is necessary - watchful prey, deadly dart. Great.

Comment is about HAWK (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 16:58

Ah, a light handed touch ( so to speak)on an age-old ( or is it old age?) problem.
This ode brought a tear to mine eey
On how you have problems with pee
For strange to relate,
I've a similar state
Whenever I laugh, then I wee.
XX

Comment is about There's Allus a Dribble That's Left (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

M.C. Newberry

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 16:30

Hello Innocentia...thank you for your kind appreciation of "Love's Not A Word I Care About". I hope you find that WOL offers a welcome "home" for your own words.
To use a slightly religious analogy - it is a "broad church" that contains all sorts of contributions.

Comment is about Innocentia Sithole (Poet profile)

Original item by Innocentia Sithole

Glyn Pope

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 16:25

Thanks for the comments.

Comment is about the pins don’t work (blog)

Original item by Glyn Pope

M.C. Newberry

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 16:17

"Sorry, JC, but surely the issue
Is why you don't wipe it dry with a tissue?"
:-)
These lines certainly bring a tear - but of mirth I hope - to gentlemen of a certain age
who travel in hope..and occasionally suspense!
Well up to the usual high standard from this
always welcome source.

Comment is about There's Allus a Dribble That's Left (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 14:09

Astrology and medicine combined bring us a doctor who can ... for the foreseeable future!
Don't forget to write the good write, Ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about Shoeless Carole (Poet profile)

Original item by Shoeless Carole

Nick Clifton

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 14:06

Hi MCN, Ta muchly for comment on Taste of Time, instants are the important bits that can be captured. A few good moments may help dispell those sour morsals that we all carry. Ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (Poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Danny Metcalfe.

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 12:15

I like the dark imagery in this.

Comment is about the pins don’t work (blog)

Original item by Glyn Pope

makhumza mzilikazi

Mon 2nd Apr 2012 11:55

thanks alot for your comments mike, we are facing the issues of corruption in south africa, we overcame the apartheid regime and now we are facing a new challenge, and one day we will win this battle

Comment is about A Place Called Home (blog)

Ann Foxglove

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 09:28

Hi Andrew - welcome to WOL. I love your poem, really touching. You'll find more people will see your work if you post it on the blogs. Hope you enjoy the site and will become a part of it!

Comment is about Andrew Barnes (Poet profile)

Original item by Andrew Barnes

Laura Taylor

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 09:26

Wry indeed Steve - all that's missing from this is the usual thing bigots roll out in that 'my best friend is gay/blind/black/disabled/insert word of choice'!

Comment is about Out (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Laura Taylor

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 09:23

Excellent poem - really enjoyed reading this

Comment is about Here's a poem from notebook 40, the 2nd in fact... (blog)

Original item by Mike Smith

Laura Taylor

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 09:21

Hehe - me and my brother used to dare each other to eat all kinds of stuff - mouthfuls of mustard, food full of salt, that kinda thing! :D

Oh and right backatcha - it's a pleasure to know you too, you're a very interesting and intelligent woman, and you write the bestest comments ever ;D

All that talk of codes got me thinking too...ended up writing a poem that started off on that idea and went, ooo, somewhere else entirely ;D

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (Poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

steve mellor

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Mon 2nd Apr 2012 08:26

Hello Harry
Thanks for taking the time to have a look at 'Out', and pleased you enjoyed it
The poem came about after:-
a) An acquaintance of mine had to choose whether he was going to the stag night of his future brother-in-law (who is gay)or the stag do of my future son-in-law

b) A programme on BBC last week telling how we have looked at disability over the last 50 years or so, BBC news reporters (over the years) using language such as 'cripple', 'spastic' or 'disabled'

Comment is about (Poet profile)

Lynn Dye

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 23:29

I'm a bit of an over-the-top lover of birds too.
And just love this poem! xx

Comment is about Two way feeding (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Lynn Dye

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 23:28

Lovely poem, you're on great form, Stef. xx

Comment is about Global warning (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Rachel Bond

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 22:50

Wow.

Comment is about White blood. (blog)

Original item by Danny Metcalfe

John Duffus

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 22:15

Nick, I love the shipping forecast !!

Finistere
Dogger Bank
South Utsire
North Utsire

A meaningless mantra at bed-time of great beauty.

Comment is about Provisions August 1767 (blog)

Original item by John Duffus

Isobel

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 21:36

There are no hunks in Wigan - it is a decidedly poor catchment area. Local men creep round at night, letting their dogs shit all over the pavements and leaving the offerings for children to tread in the next day. I could never date a dog fouler - I should write a poem about that - I might double the amount of dog fouling overnight...

Comment is about steve mellor (Poet profile)

Original item by steve mellor

jean lucy thompson

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 21:34

Awww

Comment is about Shadow swimming (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Harry O'Neill

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 21:18


Steve I like your jocularity...I mean - if you were to be asked - would you be maid of honour or best man?...It`s the right clothes.

Comment is about Out (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Harry O'Neill

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 21:06


This poem uses a Hardy-ish bleakness of nature to describe an unresolved emotional `wounding`. It is an effective use of appropriate natural imagery (with a frisson of coming reckoning in `warning calls`)...To me it`s powerfully expressive of some sort of coming reckoning (with the weightlessness of the final stone leaving it bleakly unresolved)

A very good poem...with the possible niggle that the word `right` in the sixth stanza is out of kilter with the rest of it.

Comment is about Here's a poem from notebook 40, the 2nd in fact... (blog)

Original item by Mike Smith

steve mellor

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 20:59

Thanks for looking at 'Out'
Fortunately the blog seems to have been taken as it was intended, but where could I read it without a crash-helmet?

Comment is about (Poet profile)

steve mellor

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 20:56

Hi M.C.
Thanks for taking the time to look at 'Out'. It's much appreciated

I have to say it's not autobiographical (I hate bigots), but sadly there are still many folk who aren't too far away from what the poem says.

Fortunately it seems to have been taken the right way, but I was half-ready for a slagging from those who don't know me

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (Poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

steve mellor

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 20:51

Hi Isobel
Thanks for looking at 'Out'. I'm not too sure where I could read it - I was half-anticipating a bit of abuse, but I hoped that it would be seen for what it is.
A friend of my daughter has a gay brother-in-law and he is going to his stag, and it was this that formed the start of this thing.

I read your offering, and honestly thought you'd been carried away by some Wigan hunk

Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Adam Warwicker

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 19:11

Just getting better and better.

Comment is about It means nothing (blog)

Original item by Joy Claypool

Jonboy Walton

Sun 1st Apr 2012 16:09

Nice one Steve! Very funny.

Comment is about Out (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

M.C. Newberry

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 15:52

My own credo is - enjoy what others can provide
but don't depend on them to provide it. I find
this to be best for personal contentment -
(n.b. "happiness" is an ephemeral elusive thing that essentially comes from within).

Comment is about 3 Score Years and 10 (blog)

Original item by Philip Fletcher

M.C. Newberry

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 15:41

I kept an open mind until the bit about him
being a Lib-Dem! :-)

Comment is about Out (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Isobel

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 14:42

A wry look at bigotry here Steve. You'd have to be careful where you performed it though. Some people only listen with half an ear - and half a brain also. I know someone who was assaulted for reading out something similar re the chap who got shot before the riots started - can't remember his name off hand. x

Comment is about Out (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Andy

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 12:39

Thank you very much Innocentia, that's very kind of you.

Comment is about I Admit I Am Ambivalent (blog)

John Duffus

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 11:40

haha - thanks, you made the connection, The Tumbril hints at the darker purpose to all this ... and yes, an untruth is a product of greater refinement than an halftruth forsooth, therefore it will cost a person a guid six Scotch Shillings for one, the halftruth is but two ducats (one Scotch Shilling)

Comment is about Provisions August 1767 (blog)

Original item by John Duffus

shoeless

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 11:12

thankyou for your comments on 'going round the twist' I so want to re post this poem now i realise today is april fools day :) it is cheerful in many ways yes. The poem was inspired by the fact I am reaching the end of my degree and my head is in a spin :) and the nature of the degree has study of astrology and medicine.

Comment is about Nick Clifton (Poet profile)

Original item by Nick Clifton

Innocentia Sithole

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 09:12

great one Andy i really enjoyed it..

Comment is about I Admit I Am Ambivalent (blog)

Innocentia Sithole

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Sun 1st Apr 2012 09:03

whether it was a poem or song it was music to my ears...

Comment is about LOVE'S NOT A WORD I CARE ABOUT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

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