Andy

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 17:56

As always Harry, thanks for your comments. I've not got time to address them now but trust me, I'll get back to you. I think you've raised some interesting points. You're certainly keeping me on my toes, and for that I'm grateful. Thanks again.

Hello Harry, I'm back. Can you explain your 'four line poem' idea for Admission please? I can't figure it out.

The 'it' does indeed refer to the room but I didn't intend to 'have anyone on'. It may seem or sound a little flippant but the occasion the poem is based on is real enough and, unlike The Spell, Toast is quite heartfelt.

Now, The Spell is, as you point out, somewhat detached and though I like the poem well enough I'm not wedded to it as I am to some of my other poems. In fact, as you've raised the question of the level of passion the poem contains I'm forced to admit the conceit, whilst real enough, is just that - I served myself rather than the poem which is really a failing. So, despite, or because of, your always constructive, and kind, comments I feel compelled to remove The Spell; you compel me to raise my game and pay even closer attention to my craft. Thank you for your attention too.

Comment is about Solitude Gets Lonely (blog)

Danny Metcalfe.

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 17:26

'I hope your not dead'

You're*

Unless you have a not dead that's yours?

Comment is about 3 tin rings (blog)

Original item by Rachel Bond

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 17:26

I have not yet had the time to read the other poems listed. I certainly expect them to be excellent. But, I really can't see how they could be 'better' - just different - the victims of subjectivity. This is a superb poem. I am re-encouraged for a return to prosy paragraphs neatly 'versed', and the use of punctuation (and maybe, lots of it.)

Comment is about Allison McVety wins National Poetry Competition (article)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 17:03

I performed her poem 'Roof Walker' in a Programme of Poetry and Song, with a cast composed entirely of women doing women's works. I also did 'Poetry' by Marianne Moore, and a French love song en francais. The evening was a great success and a personal highlight.

Comment is about US poet Adrienne Rich dies aged 82 (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Harry O'Neill

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 16:44


John,
There`s plenty can make us laugh - but to do it in rhyme?

(I`m goin` to ask the grand-kids for the tune)

Comment is about Gorgonzola (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Harry O'Neill

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 16:29

I enjoyed these,
In ADMISSION I particularly liked the contrasting vowel sounds of `insufficient` and `isolated` separated by the alliterated and enjambed `harvest Hinder`...
(which made me wonder how it would look as a four line poem without the enjambments...it works well)

`TOAST`
This minds me of the Yankee `wake up and smell the coffee`. (I assume that the `it` in line six refers to the room itself). The `ghostly` strange `particulate` and `breath` of line four leading to the `unbidden` and `soluble``memories` cleanses it of any romanticism. The homely `aroma` of the toast overpowers the word `perfume`. I feel that this one - like some of Larkins - is `having us on` a little (but with a bit more honesty)

THE SPELL,
This -to me - is too detached for either the `hope` or the `envy` to sound passionate (or real) enough.

BUT!
the rhythmical arrangement and the rhyming of all three poems is excellent and (unusually in a poem) all three question themselves honestly.

Really enjoyed reading them.

Comment is about Solitude Gets Lonely (blog)

Larisa Rzhepishevska

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 14:46

Thank you very much M.C.Newberry for the comment and for the correction. I was a fool to write 'in the knees', at least could write 'on the knees' lol

Comment is about The Day Of Liberation (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

M.C. Newberry

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 14:00

Anyone who has had the experience of these
determined door-stepping religionists will enjoy this. I did!

Comment is about Bogeyman baiters (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

M.C. Newberry

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 13:54

The pride in these words is clear! Freedom is
so precious. You must have really enjoyed
writing this for your lovely city.
One small point - the line about "The odessite
will never stand in the knees" - in England we
would say "never bend the knee (e.g. show
servitude).

Comment is about The Day Of Liberation (blog)

Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 13:43

Your little paper boat has just docked.
Expect its return a.s.a.p...

merci d'etre mon ami.xx

Comment is about Richie Muster (Poet profile)

Original item by Richie Muster

stella jones

Tue 10th Apr 2012 13:15


It is in the echo of these places..brought back those feelings MC

Comment is about BROTHERS (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

stella jones

Tue 10th Apr 2012 13:12



I relate to this so easily Ann, nothing wrong with hiding away for a time..just for a while mind you..xx

Comment is about tent (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

stella jones

Tue 10th Apr 2012 13:06



That missed hug is really powerful and as Neil says it is a compelling read Steve..

Comment is about 13th Floor (blog)

Original item by steve pottinger

Larisa Rzhepishevska

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 12:17

Hello, John! Thank you so much for commenting on "Palm Sunday" and for G K Chesterton's "The Donkey" . To tell you the truth I haven't read anything by this author before. So, when I read his poems I loved them very much and understood that he was really the great.
With warmest wishes,
Larisa

Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Tue 10th Apr 2012 09:50

A jolly good morning Mrs Brunton
and thank ya kindly ma'am.

'the faiths' should have been 'their faith'...doh!
now corrected.

Comment is about Bogeyman baiters (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Christopher Dawson

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 23:47

Cheers Yvonne, I'm sure they're far more professional than my pair!

Comment is about Things aren't always what they seem to be. (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

Harry O'Neill

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 22:26

Thanks folks for the comments,

I was just trying to have a bit of creational fun and get the rhymes right.

(I was a bit scared it might look a tad high-falootin`)Thanks again.

Comment is about ANY POET`S ANSWER TO THE ASTROPHISICISTS (blog)

stella jones

Mon 9th Apr 2012 21:52



Bit spooky this one Nick..a mood created with the gasslight and such..thoughtful piece

Comment is about Dinner Date (blog)

Original item by Nick Clifton

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 20:24

So much for the skills of the medical profession! Student error.What a giggle. Loved it! I'm going to send it to my brother and daughter - both medics. XX

Comment is about Things aren't always what they seem to be. (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

Christopher Dawson

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 20:09

Messrs Clifton and Newberry are to blame.

Comment is about Things aren't always what they seem to be. (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 20:00

What a good idea. No phone or e-mail hacking either! Excellent jape.

Comment is about Bogeyman baiters (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Christopher Dawson

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 19:54

Oh dear, you're both very kind..but I'm afraid a little encouragable.

Comment is about Suspicions confirmed (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 19:42

A beautiful Wordsworthian-like poem.

So much enjoyed.

Comment is about Spring in the High Peak (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 19:36

What does resectful mean Mr Bigness?
and will we find it in us feeasoruss?

tee-hee re the typo O pint lover.xx

Comment is about Sea widow (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 19:31

indeed Nick
and so badly needed for...making of the mead!

Yours SINcerely-us.xx

Comment is about Hoping for an endless count (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 19:25

You have had that blonde head
int' thesaurus aintcha Lynn.

Neat little observation.P&S.xx

Comment is about Double Dealings (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 19:19

Really appreciate the lengthy comment Nick-
all is very much agreed upon.
re-"I,ve been away-white coats-small van?"

Either you work
selling ice creams-
or went for an iffy ride in a ner!-ner!
to hozzy?
hope not!xx

Comment is about By horizons divided (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 19:07

We should be praising you clever Clifton
the comment is better than the poem-
damn your brilliant
if not beautiful mind!

Comment is about Anal ascension (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 19:04

Our gratitude is yours Jean.xx
As for you Big Nick-
muchas grassyarse.xx

Comment is about Through the windows of our days (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 18:54

Nice comment Jean.My thanks-Patricia.

Nick-re thy suggestion that one hath yea and verily rippeth-ed off corny sentiments frometh O cards of jollification then pray answereth this sweet question I poseth-

wot size boots do yer bollox take!haha.
(one jests with thee O man of La Mancha.)xx

Comment is about Peace by peace (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 18:39

Thanks ever so much Mrs.T.xx

Thankful with no 'ish ont th'end
for thee Big Cliffo
deserving of two xx
both from my dinner lady
ones hastens to add.

Comment is about Left over (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

oldlancsman

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 18:05

Nicely written M.C. its obvious you too are a "Survivor" going by your recollections; nearly all of which i can personally relate to. We had little or no money, but we were the richest kids on the planet.thanks again for your comments. have a nice day

Comment is about A SNIPPET FROM OLDLANCSMAN (blog)

Original item by oldlancsman

Alan Pascoe

Mon 9th Apr 2012 16:40

An interesting poem Ann.

How would it look using lower case for each line instead of capitals?

Also, the last two lines of the third stanza, could you use something similar as a leitmotif at the end of each stanza?

In the fourth stanza, take the second line, place it at the end then add another line, again as a leitmotif.

Comment is about tent (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

M.C. Newberry

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 16:27

Hands up - those who drank from puddles to save going home and leaving the fun? Or (for seaside kids) tied a bit of curtain netting to a bicycle wheel to see what came up from the harbour? Or used the bomb sites for countless games of hide and seek and other games? Or crossed a river weir with no handrails when unable to swim - not thinking about the consequences? Or fell out of a tree and got up rubbing an aching limb - to carry on playing, not wanting to miss anything? And nicked
apples from overhanging branches of a neighbour's tree?
And groaned to be called home as the light faded?
We were SO lucky to be kids then...weren't we?

Comment is about A SNIPPET FROM OLDLANCSMAN (blog)

Original item by oldlancsman

M.C. Newberry

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 16:08

Thanks, chums. I guess that for those like me,
brought up in the 50s, the railways brought...
and took away...so much that was important,
unlike today when so many own private transport
and may not make the emotional connection that comes from an age when the train was our
lifeline to the world beyond our front door.

Comment is about BROTHERS (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Ann Foxglove

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 16:05

Thanks all - this was written in a mood of "I'm drawing the curtains and you can all go away!" Not really a children's piece - but maybe shows we all stay how we were at age - five? Not sure why but I am in a withdrawing phase. Nice to hear from you all though.

Comment is about tent (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Ann Foxglove

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 16:02

Oh, so sad! For all of us who dine alone - thank you.

Comment is about Dinner Date (blog)

Original item by Nick Clifton

Ann Foxglove

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 16:00

This sounds full of joy to me - and on this miserable wet easter monday - thank you Tom!

Comment is about Titles, Another Life (blog)

Original item by Tom Harding

Cate Greenlees

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 15:53

Te he... very clever! Nice to see you manfully squaring up to the job! My hats off to any poet who tackles a slam..... man or woman it must take balls of steel!! lol
Cate xx

Comment is about Advice for Poetry Slammers (blog)

Original item by Mark Niel

Freda Davis

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 15:06

I don't get alienation, Ann, so much as the desire for privacy. It does have a somewhat anxious feel to it though. Maybe its that little verse that introduces somebody else- 'you speak'- 'its a good job you have nothing to say'. The rest of it may feel safe and hidden, but this shows that actually the 'other' is within reach and holding back. Nice punchy form to it.

Comment is about tent (blog)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Neil Fawcett

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 14:56

Compelling read Steve.

Comment is about 13th Floor (blog)

Original item by steve pottinger

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 14:17

The more one examines politicians, the more one feels that this is true.
By the way have you noticed that no matter whom you vote for in an election, the flipping government always gets in?
Nice one! XX

Comment is about Double Dealings (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 14:13

Quite powerful, Steve. The pathos is palpable. The carrot of hope and the reality of the dogshit. Sets one thinking.Well done.

Comment is about 13th Floor (blog)

Original item by steve pottinger

Yvonne Brunton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 14:04

Ah so sad, Nick. Is this a reflection of our modern times where it's difficult to establish relationships but we need to keep up apprearances?
I like this. XX

Comment is about Dinner Date (blog)

Original item by Nick Clifton

Nick Clifton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 13:23

not the longest 'count-er-ry' in forced rhyme. Still, I like it a lot and sincerely hope this sparks those long-winded pompous types to come out of the woodwork and share hackneyed, clinches with us mere mortal public. thanks Lynn the most enjoyable five or six seconds I've had in fve or six seconds. Ta muchly, Nick.
congratulations to a 9 year old Hannah. (that's right, start 'em early)

Comment is about Double Dealings (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Danny Metcalfe.

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 13:23

Thank you, Yvonne for your comments. It's very rare people stick up for me when it comes to animal rights. And I did not take offence. It was much appreciated.

Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Nick Clifton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 13:17

strong prose indeed sir, well stacked with love, longing, and return from absence. change at Ealing Broadway and catch the bus, it's a bit quicker, Ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about Letter. (blog)

Original item by Danny Metcalfe

Nick Clifton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 13:13

i see you're deeply 'troubled' Steve, doppleganger or schizophrenic came to mind as i (alone) went through it but both of you didn't want to go there then! 'Superfacial' does that mean, under the face or extremely handsome? Answers on a postcard to: ...
ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about Superfacial (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Nick Clifton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 13:03

okay Ogden Dawson, you're let-off, this time. i love my mother-in-law, it's just her daughter i can't stand, ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about Suspicions confirmed (blog)

Original item by Christopher Dawson

Nick Clifton

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Mon 9th Apr 2012 13:01

high sentiments, indeed the UN should be honoured to wear this upon their walls. good stuff, ta muchly, Nick.

Comment is about COMPASSION (blog)

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