Tue 24th Apr 2012 13:08
Cynthia...firstly sorry to be so late with my thanks of your lovely comments of the confusion of Mary M. Very much apprecisated. This is the first looking at religion write I have done..I have no idea why but there it is. I performed this for the first time this week and it seemed to go down ok! Again thanks for your time. :)
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (Poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Tue 24th Apr 2012 13:05
Hello Innocentia and a belated welcome to WOL from myself :)
Thanks so much for your comment on the confusion of Mary M..it was a first for me on a religious (of sorts) theme.. :)
Comment is about Innocentia Sithole (Poet profile)
Original item by Innocentia Sithole
Tue 24th Apr 2012 13:02
ello and sorry to have been so long in replying..my head is full of half lines that just won't join together lol...and yes I doodle of sorts..I work with wax and also do floristry..(I am a very, very mature student struggling with a diploma a present lol) I am sure the words will arrive eventually..
Comment is about Richie Muster (Poet profile)
Original item by Richie Muster
Tue 24th Apr 2012 13:00
Sorry for taking so long to thank you for the comments on the confussion of Mary M. Andy..very much appreciated... :)
Comment is about Andy N (Poet profile)
Original item by Andy N
Tue 24th Apr 2012 12:58
Thanks, Alison, Andrew and Steve - yes, I did write it! Is it that bad? One of my daughters was going out with a Hare Krishna so in anticipation of a discussion that never actually materialised, I read a bit of The Bhagavad Gita, also called As It Is.
I don't care much for this bit
await the axe and tumble
so if anyone has suggestions?
I see what you mean about that 3rd verse, Andrew, maybe it needs be in a poem on that subject instead!
Comment is about As It Is (blog)
Tue 24th Apr 2012 12:50
Gus, you are such a wag. Had me in stitches. Well done Rob, too, for fueling this rather ribald reflection.
Comment is about REVIEW - WOL 'Ring of Bells' Middleton (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Tue 24th Apr 2012 12:34
Your third verse seems to suggest this might be the battle that ensues as we try to write words down on a page.
Tue 24th Apr 2012 10:10
I enjoyed this. Leaves you with a question as to what the battle is about, and it more than floats the suggestion that slogging it out is pointless. Particularly liked the last verse.
Tue 24th Apr 2012 10:09
Thank you for once again a glowing review of my "performance". I haven't got the vocabulary to match your rather very good poetic verse, but I enjoyed the evening and yes, the 15 mintues did go very quickly for me and it was a darn better "spotlight" for me at Middleton than the one nearly 2 years ago. But then, certain persons where not in attendance.
Thank you Guss :-)
Tue 24th Apr 2012 06:26
Sorry I missed this evening Gus.
Tue 24th Apr 2012 06:20
I can almost taste the salty sea and the rush of the wind in my hair.
I love your poem and I am sure your family will cherish this elegy to your brother in law Jack..well done x
Comment is about SAILING DAYS (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Tue 24th Apr 2012 00:08
Very appropriate memorial, M.C. (Beautifully finished off)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 23:57
Because I know now that when a man faces a force that he cannot destroy, he destroys himself instead!
Absolutely fantastic Joy. I cannot figure why no-one has left you comments on this work. It is a very well written piece; heart wrenching and very intellectual. Thank you for sharing this one with us. I was almost in tears by the last line.
Comment is about Tell Them (blog)
Original item by Joy Claypool
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 22:13
Nearly missed this,
An enjoyable and witty recitation of the effects we would feel if you`d only written the poem.
(But - in a way - you have written the poem)
Comment is about This is the poem (blog)
Original item by Thomas Thurman
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 21:55
A neatly-folded fire insurance
certificate from the Pru,
It seems quite an arbitrary line break on insurance.
"A fire insurance certificate"might serve better.
Comment is about Chaff (blog)
Original item by Graham Sherwood
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 21:46
hi........no need to thank me......as yours surpasses mine............what i love about this poem is the third person omniscient narrator style...........which makes it sound like an eopic story of a woman that has had many loves and experiences in love.......it creates a relationship between the reader and the men and the poet........i think i will now try and write my own, third person omniscient poem of women and love......thanks
Comment is about For Whom To Fish Or Hunt (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 21:41
I think the first and last verses are very good. I'm less impressed with the 2nd.
I'm maybe being a bit dim but I can't quite make sense of this
After the party, your deflated balloons
have more in common than the years' full moons
with these once magnificent rising orbs.
And the gravity/ brevity rhymes seem at odds with the rest.
Comment is about Breasts (blog)
Original item by Alison Smiles
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 21:40
hi , i love your poem MY WISHES, it is very much my style, the short stanzas and monosyllabic lexis creates a snappy and straight to the point poem. the paralinguistic form places good emphasis on the differences of WANTS, WISHES and NEEDS, and many of my poems also use this paralinguistic style.
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (Poet profile)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 21:33
Believe it or not that poem was the only one that ever got me the girl. Kathy was a young surgeon and a wizard with a scalpel.
YOU BET I KEPT IT IN MY BREECHES!
Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 21:24
Thanks Stef and Pat for your comment on
`Promised poem to Kathy Much appreciated.
Comment is about Patricia and Stefan Wilde (Poet profile)
Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 21:21
There are many beautiful images. My favourite
She was rough for love,
dragged slate, flint ticked,
a quarry of crashes –
nose, cheek, fractures of kisses
a lost eyelash singed
I do have trouble piecing all the parts together, though."ammunition for section" - don't get that at all, for example.
Comment is about Inception (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 21:20
A great piece Gus. It had me chuckling - especially 'and not a dry cake in the house'.
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 20:53
Nick - What is this proper poetry of which you speak?
Isobel.I certainly do welcome honest critique. There isn't enough of it on WOL!No problem at all with your comments. Elsewhere, folk have felt that the harrumph line is "too good to lose" but the preceding trunk line is not so good.
Cynthia.The poem wasn't meant to be funny but now, with the benefit of some distance, I can see that it veers that way in the 2nd half.
Comment is about The Vapours (blog)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 20:48
Hurrah for the triolet! Well done TT. XX
Comment is about In depths of darkness out of doors (blog)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 19:55
had a bit of a giddy moment with lumpy sourdough. Me and my mum cooked a lot when I was growing up and she never had a balloon whisk so I genuinely remember the wonder of my Very First Time.
Comment is about Laura Taylor (Poet profile)
Original item by Laura Taylor
John F Keane
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 19:54
Five women? How did your father cope, lol
Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 19:52
Are you a pagan yourself?
Comment is about Hymn of a Northern Clime (blog)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 19:01
A poem worth reading again and again.
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 18:40
Every day I think of Baby Peter. That little boy haunts me with the cruelty he suffered. At times I can't cope with the grief. I wish I'd never read your poem. Not your fault Patricia and I don't mean it that way. But children are only to be loved. If we love our children, then by example cruelty will disappear from the world. A naive hope.
Comment is about Mill stone (blog)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 18:28
I don't really know why, but I love this poem. It's maybe got something to do with just having to use my mind to think about it. Read and reread and reread. Love the line, 'I said something to you and you heard', very Bob Dylan (good Bob Dylan).
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 18:15
Hello, Yvonne! This list could be much longer and you know that tastes differ. But...anyway, it's good that you prefer hunting as fishing is really boring.
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 18:14
I don't like it. Got to be honest. There must be cleverer ways of saying what you are attempting to say. I'd just scrub this one.
Comment is about Out (blog)
Original item by steve mellor
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 16:55
I was first reminded of the film of the same name, a film I enjoyed. I enjoyed this also, in fact, I think it is terrific.
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 16:40
You know I love the poems and prose of your childhood, as always beautifully observed- not something remotely easy to achieve.
In terms of poetry and venues, it is just people being precious and egos, it'll all die down eventually.
What I would say is we'd love to see you and hear your poety at the 'Wirral Ode Show' or 'ThePoetry Spoke', the latter of which is on tomorrow night (see blogs).
Comment is about Gus Jonsson (Poet profile)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 16:11
I hear you. I'm waiting for one to die too, and not knowing quite how I'm going to feel about it.
I'm not going to bleat about the odd syllable count going astray, because I think the content rises above that.
I hope writing this helped you, even just a little, and I hope that you take good care of yourself :)
Comment is about Memories of Mum and Dad (blog)
Original item by Rob J Mann
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 15:55
Haha! Was waiting to see what it would be :D
Comment is about The blend of old and new (blog)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 15:53
Am a little braindead at the moment chuck, so no big critique or owt. Just to say I loved every second of this.
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 14:40
I love the conversational style with which this opens - not maudlin, just practical. The last 5 lines, however, betray the true emotions when one document is saved.
You have treated this subject very sensitively from a original point of view and it is quite a powerful piece. XX
J. Otis Powell!
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 13:47
Yvonne: Thanks for your comment on my quintet. The reality is we've learned too well how to hold on to status quo and not well enough how to move forward to include other value systems that respect all human stories. William Faulkner said it this way, "The past is not dead. In fact, it's not even past."
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 13:10
When Cheltenham Poetry Festival launched in 2011 it was described as ‘a triumph’ by poet Alison Brackenbury, now in its second year ,it has returned bigger and better with 95 performers over 5 days overseen by Chief Executive Director Anna Saunders. Saturday had a range of events and the two which caught my eye were the Nine Arches Showcase at the Exmouth Public House, Bath Road in the afternoon, and Pulp Diction at the Town Hall in the evening.
Nine Arches Press have been steadily growing an impressive catalogue of poets over the past few years. Co-editor Jane Commane was on hand to introduce, and link, three poets from her stable; Luke Kennard, Dan Sluman and Phil Brown. Promoters are always , rightly, looking for ways to refresh poetry readings. The device used this afternoon was to pre-nominate eight themes culled from song titles, and invite members of the audience to select which order they were performed in.
The advantages of this mechanism were the novelty, audience involvement and dramatic uncertainty of what was to follow. The disadvantage was that the poets did not have an opportunity to develop their identity over successive poems. Nonetheless, the credits certainly outweighed the debits in a well worked format which showcased the work of three poets:
Daniel Sluman is Gloucestershire based, so was on home turf and unveiled material from his upcoming debut collection, Absence Has a Weight of its Own. He modestly asserts that his claim to fame is having once been bought a drink by Poet Laureate Carol Ann Duffy, his writing, and performance was meticulous, considered and contained.
Phil Brown teaches English in Sutton, south London. In 2009 he was shortlisted for the Crashaw Prize and won the Eric Gregory Award in 2010 his most recent collection is, Il Avilit. His readings were characterised by simple, effective language and ear catching observations. Never before have I heard a tale of bored privately educated schoolgirls uninterested in poetry because they were destined to be doctors – but that is exactly what unfolded in Grammars and Comprehensives. That gift of the unexpected twist ran through many of his pithy selections.
Dr Luke Kennard lectures at Birmingham University and has an effortless manner which beguiles and delights audiences wherever he goes . He is the youngest poet ever to be nominated for the Forward Prize for Best Collection, -The Harbour Beyond the Movie(2007) . Including selections from Planet ~ Shaped Horse , he never compromises in content or form ,drawing the audience to join him, not pandering to what they may think they want. Kennard is in the vanguard of contemporary poetry, leading, and setting the pace, catch him while you can . Death of Journalism was savage in its brevity, Elija a laconic delight ,with the wonderful line, ”All beautiful women think they can save the world, scoffs Simon, it’s a standard attendant pathology.”
It was a particular pleasure to see the event so well attended by an audience that included local LibDem MP Martin Horwood, adding his support to a very successful occasion.
In the evening “Pulp Diction” came to the Pillars Room at Cheltenham Town Hall, organised by Barnaby Eaton Jones , a variety night which mixed spoken word with music. Dan Parker performed two sets which delivered poetry backed by an electric guitar, exploring territory visited previously by Lou Reed and John Cale, whilst Martin Vogwell delivered a traditional folk set.
Local star and festival favourite Amy Rainbow took time out from supporting the likes of John Cooper Clarke to perform as part of the Imperfect Pair delivering Self Mastery, Mr Right and The Man Who Wore Tweed with her customary waspish self- assurance. Catherine Crosswell worked hardest on the night performing a poetry set, and a musical one, as one part of “Four Tart Harmony.”
Worcestershire and Gloucestershire has more than its fair share of talented female poets, and Catherine is amongst the best. She specialises in poems which commence with the everyday and mundane and then teleport into the surreal. Recipe for Success moves from home brewing to colonic irrigation and cake baking becomes intensely erotic. Beautifully paced, brimful with ideas and attention holding her set was a pleasure and was warmly and enthusiastically received.
“Four Tart Harmony” closed proceedings. Comprising Dusty (Catherine), Bossy (Grace), Bakewell (Hattie) and Dotty (Mantha), they entertained and delighted with a well chosen and well executed acapella performance.
Perfect stood out, as did an ambitious and successful closing mash of Fat Bottomed Girls and I Get Knocked down (But I Get Up Again). The Tarts looked good, sang clever arrangements well and obviously enjoyed themselves – as did the audience.
Both events, although diverse and divergent in content, bore testament to the depth of talent around and augurs well for the continued success of future Poetry Festivals in Cheltenham.
Comment is about Call of the wild at Cheltenham poetry festival (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 12:46
Powerful and insistent content, tho' I found the wayward rhythm disorientating. I found when reading the words "loved me", I mentally substituted "bred me", but I can understand any intended cynicism that they contain in the context of the whole piece. Worth writing and worth reading!
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 10:07
Hi Cynth - thanks for your note on Prop Panda. Yeh, it started out as a bit of daftness with a transgender panda (don't ask) and then turned all political on my arse! ;D
Went down a storm at the mainly socialist Folk N Verse day in Wigan!
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 10:05
Nice review Cynthia
Comment is about The Heart and the Subsidiary: Fatima Al Matar (article)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 09:34
Really liked this 'calm catalogue' of woes which (despite the powerful language) never got histrionic or sentimental. It seems a very 'performable' piece. Hope you're out there somewhere doing it, Rob!
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 08:38
That is awesome. I was going to pick out the bits I particularly loved but there were so many of them I just couldn't! The first time we had the "these things were normal ..." line a little bit of me got indignant about the change in stanza length but then the pattern explained it all.
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 08:35
Thank you for your comments, Winston. Another of someone else's work I need to somehow incorporate!!! Hope all is well with you and that your cycling plans have come off ...
Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 08:21
On second reading the line that most struck me was 'your hands are two foreign explorers' - I like the way it linked Spain ( foreign holiday) and the idea that your body has become as a stranger to her.
Would it strenghthen the ending to put the lsat word 'forever' on a line by itself? - it really got to me that - highlighting the irredeemable rift that has grown. XX
Comment is about Day 1 (blog)
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 08:13
great stuff what a different perpective - perhaps JC can organise a BOOB job. XX
Mon 23rd Apr 2012 08:09
Sad to say, these circumstances do exist and as Isobel says well done for airing the subject.
Comment is about By nature (blog)
Original item by mike watts
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