Yvonne Brunton

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Thu 3rd May 2012 22:27

I like the concept of this poem - I agree with Glyn about the lines he mentioned and perhaps 'I am hopeful.....would be better as the penultimate line.
Because of the repetitive nature of this piece I was looking for a little something else within it. I half expected to see a kind of acrostic word formed from all the alliterative letters ( that would be great but hard work and probably need a great deal of rejigging) but it may be something you bear in mind for a different poem. XX

Comment is about Am I a Son of God? (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Isobel

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Thu 3rd May 2012 22:12

I'd totally echo what Greg said. I have a work colleague who fosters - letting go of the children to new parents, who are not always as skilled at raising difficult children, seems to be the most painful thing; letting go of them at all must be hard when you've formed a bond.

Your poem made me feel that ache. I think you express it all beautifully. If I was to be picky - I would just replace 'to when I'm' with 'till when I'm'

Isobel x

Comment is about Looking After You (blog)

Yvonne Brunton

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Thu 3rd May 2012 20:16

Hi, Shirley I am pleased I was able to help you and happy that you were able to rescue your poem
XX

Comment is about Shirley Smothers (Poet profile)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

Emma Stradling

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Thu 3rd May 2012 20:10

Hi Glyn. Well I should update my profile as I've now managed to read my work out twice now! I must admit that I lost my nerve and pulled out on Tuesday but it just didn't feel right. Apart from that I'm glad I read my poems out and I think they went down well. I sat back down so fast im not sure! Hope it goes well for you.

I'll have a look at your poetry. Is it your poem The King of Thorns that you'd like me to read?

Comment is about Glyn Pope (Poet profile)

Original item by Glyn Pope

nick armbrister

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Thu 3rd May 2012 20:07

holy cow lol Isobel, well this is quite different. i guess men are from mars or that direction lol. very wry way of you doing comparisons of men to aliens and their behaviour. intelligently funny and entertaining. but damn... i want my own flying saucer. the chicks would love it pmsl. this is your best ive read yet:).

Comment is about Nanoo Nanoo (blog)

Original item by Isobel

nick armbrister

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Thu 3rd May 2012 20:04

well... ill never say to a gal again, 'I'm ill. With Man Flu...'

anyhow, for all of the Men in the world, i apologise for any inconveniences we've caused you lol.

Comment is about Bloody Men (blog)

Original item by Isobel

nick armbrister

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Thu 3rd May 2012 20:01

a telescope has an invisible statement wrote on the side 'Use Me!'

this reminds me of my old telescope when i was a teen. many memories brought on by this.

Comment is about Telescopes and Things (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Emma Stradling

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Thu 3rd May 2012 20:00

Glyn that's so nice to hear. It's really great to know that someone else gets what I'm saying. Given me the incentive to keep writing.

Comment is about BERBERIS (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

nick armbrister

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Thu 3rd May 2012 19:59

theres a lot in this, like a what you call it, a microcosm/macrocosm (large/small) thing about life. planets and people even. very different read:)

Comment is about No. 4 (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Emma Stradling

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Thu 3rd May 2012 19:56

Yes thank you for your comments Glyn.

Now I look at it box of chocolates line is terrible!

I'll have an edit & see what I can do. I'm glad you liked the idea.

Comment is about Am I a Son of God? (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

nick armbrister

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Thu 3rd May 2012 19:51

hi Shirley thanx for replying, yes i like your poems. glad you resolved your issue, things like that are important:)

Comment is about nick armbrister (Poet profile)

Original item by nick armbrister

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Thu 3rd May 2012 19:44

Very clever Mrs.B!
and very funny.

Thank you.
Patricia and Stef.xx

Comment is about House Hunting (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Thu 3rd May 2012 19:22

Many thanks Glynn,your comments are always very encouraging indeed.
Patricia.x

Comment is about Towards an epitaph (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Thu 3rd May 2012 19:20

We really appreciate
all of your very kind comments
Yvonne,Lynn and Glynn.

Wonder if we all used
the same cornfield?
Come to think of it-
there was a lot of grunting and groaning
we heard that evening-lol!
not to mention finding lots of
discarded underwear-
no! we didnt take them home.
well...just the union jack boxer shorts!xx

Comment is about Somewhere one summer (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Brett Smith

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Thu 3rd May 2012 18:14

Stokes Croft or Gloucester Road familiar? recognise name/profile pic

Comment is about Owen: SPACEGHOST (Poet profile)

Original item by Owen: SPACEGHOST

Glyn Pope

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:53

I've got to read out loud for the first time in September. I'm rehearing what I've going to say already. I'm terrified.

Comment is about Emma-Jane Stradling (Poet profile)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Glyn Pope

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:47

I've read three of your poems. And I'm, well words fail me. I love this. It just completely speaks to me. I love it.

Comment is about BERBERIS (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Glyn Pope

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:40

I like this because i like a poem that makes me think.
I feel you could find a better way of saying this 'It might make you woozy,'
Id be interested, Emma-Jane in what you think abut my poem Crown of Thorns.

Comment is about God is looking for action (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Glyn Pope

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:31

For quite a serious well written poem in the most part this line is dreadful

'I am chosen like choosing a caramel from a box of chocolates.'

Find something better to say. Also not as strongly, I find this line a bit clumsy

'I am unfastened, I understand, unlike ugly friends who choose not to.'

Though overall it's a great idea for a poem, but it cud be improved. Give it some thought. My criticisms are kindly meant.

Comment is about Am I a Son of God? (blog)

Original item by Emma-Jane Stradling

Glyn Pope

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:25

This really is so lovely. Takes me back too.
A gem.

Comment is about Somewhere one summer (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Glyn Pope

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:24

'Some people see colours for sounds don't they'
I've attempted to cover that in poem I posted here 'untitled'
This is a lovely poem Patricia. You are so prolific.

Comment is about Towards an epitaph (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Glyn Pope

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:19

I can't see the connections. I have no argument with them as little individual snaps.

Comment is about Get Shorty (blog)

Glyn Pope

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:17

First reading I thought this guys swallowed a thesaurus. But, because you overdo the language it works.

Comment is about Thirlmere in May (blog)

Chris Co

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:08

I think you've got something here Tommy. It certainly captures a certain indefinable something.

Personally I would drop the would mainly, it loses a tad in qualification but gains a lot sonically and in turn of phrase appeals a little more.

Good write

Chris

Comment is about A Lady's dismissal (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Shirley Smothers

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Thu 3rd May 2012 17:00

Hi Nick. Thank you for your comments on my poem "Kids With Drugs-2". Sorry it took so long to get back to you. I have been distracted. I found one of my poems on another website but was not given credit for this poem. The situation has been resolved. I have even posted a haiku "Stolen Poem" about my experience. Also thanks for your comments on my poem. "The Sea".

Thank you again for your nice comments.
Shirley

Comment is about nick armbrister (Poet profile)

Original item by nick armbrister

Shirley Smothers

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Thu 3rd May 2012 16:56

Hello Nick. Thank you for your comments on my poem "Kids With Drugs-2. I do like this one better. Sorry it took a while to get back to you. I have been distracted because I found one of my poems on another website but was not given credit for this poem. The situation has been resolved and I have even written a haiku "Stolen Poem" about my experience.

Thank you for your advice.
Shirley

Comment is about Nick Clifton (Poet profile)

Original item by Nick Clifton

Shirley Smothers

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Thu 3rd May 2012 16:52

Thank you for your help and advice on my stolen poem. I was able to prove that the poem is mine. The website took it down. I have even written a haiku "Stolen Poem" about my experience.
I would not have had a problem with my poem being posted on this website if I had been given proper credit.

Thank you again for your help.
Shirley

Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Chris Co

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Thu 3rd May 2012 16:52

Hi Yvonne,

Thx for reading and commenting upon my latest poem- very much appreciated.

I think what you said was very pertinent and on the mark. I've left a very loooong and waffling comment upon the poem.

Far from concise but it might give people an idea where I'm comming from.

My Best

Chris

Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

Shirley Smothers

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Thu 3rd May 2012 16:50

Thank you for your advice on my stolen poem.
I took the advice of Yvonne Bruton and was able to prove the poem is mine. The website took down the poem. I have even written a haiku "Stolen Poem" about this experience.
I would not have had a problem with the website if I had been properly credited.
Thanks for your help

Shirley

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (Poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Chris Co

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Thu 3rd May 2012 16:50

Hi Laura,

Thx for commenting upon my latest poem- very much appreciated.

I've left a looong comment back on the poem hehe.

P.S

Are we still good for next months 'spoke'?

Best

Chris

Comment is about Laura Taylor (Poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Chris Co

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Thu 3rd May 2012 16:48

Hi M.C,

Thx for commenting a couple of times on my latest poem. We may not agree on our politics...but I do thank you for both reading and commenting upon the poem- very much appreciated.

Best

Chris

Comment is about M.C. Newberry (Poet profile)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

Chris Co

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Thu 3rd May 2012 16:45

Hi everyone- thx for reading and commenting- appreciated.

Warning- very long comment...

Where to start? lol

I guess when we write poetry, we open up a can of worms. In not writing in a detailed explicit way; the very thing that is great about poetry also creates headaches lol. The curse of valid, yet entirely different 'interpretations'. I joke, but you know what I mean.

In writing this poem I mentioned one particular newspaper and their politics as by way of implying their implied values. But it wasn't my intention for the Daily Mail to be the point of the poem. I could have just as easily hung my hat and language on the Daily Express or TalkSport radio (at least when it had right wing shock jock radio shows). I picked one paper that to me was indicative and representative of the issues I wanted to deal in. I used the Daily Mail in one line; representatively to go on to speak about people affected by the tabloid right wing press and right wing radio.

As I see it these nefarious organisations sear their misogynistic, racist, homophobic and scaremongering attacks on minorities (underhand right agenda) into the national conscience. Their overt and implied values seep down into their target audience and help to misinform a great number of people (often the least informed to begin with) and the results of this are far from pleasant.

How many times have you got into a taxi and had a conversation instigated about immigration and getting ‘them out’? How many times have you had that conversation where you know the individual concerned has been primed by the agenda of these forces? How many times has that conversation gone along where you have come to realize that the person you are speaking to; has no understanding of the difference between asylum seekers and economic migrants?

How many times have you got into a conversation with someone relating to Muslims; where the word Muslim has a negative connotation attached to it, that being either terrorism or immigrant? How many times have you spoken to, watched or listened to a debate on the welfare system or the health care system and heard working class people in effect mouthing right wing policies? Polices that in no way shape or form would be representative of their socio-economic interests? How many times have you heard welfare blamed for the cause of all woes?

Just to give you some figures on the latter, something that I hope to afford reasoned comment to;

The cost of welfare fraud to the UK is 1.6 billion pounds- fact. Pretty high until you consider that that tax fraud cost the UK economy 14 billion pounds- another fact. Tax avoidance (perfectly legal- though immoral) costs the UK economy an estimated 90 billion pounds. The only figure there that is an estimate is the last one; the other two are government figures.

So given the above, why does the Daily mail, The Daily Express, TalkSport etc...Why have the focused almost exclusively on welfare costs over and above the much more significant tax fraud or the issue of tax avoidance? More importantly, why is it that the welfare story is pretty much the only one of those three stories they cover? Back to the conversation at the bus stop, the talk with the mechanic on getting your car mot, the taxi ride home, the chat in the pub etc...guess what we hear? Do we hear about tax fraud? Do we hear about tax avoidance? or do we hear about welfare cheats?

When it comes to the pensions debate, do we hear about public pensions in a positive light in these very same types of conversation? My experience is- no. Same goes for NHS and cutbacks. Everything in my experience is coloured in the same pissy light. The agenda of these organisations has seemingly coloured everything.

It has become an expectation to hear many fellow working class people mouthing right wing, narrow minded politics. These papers sell themselves to the working class and once they're read or listened to; they seep into peoples minds and misinform in the way Fox News does in the US.

I feel sorry for the person in this poem and everyone out there who has this mantra.
I despise their viewpoints on the world, viewpoints that are ludicrously simplistic (almost child-like) skewed and warped beyond all reality.

BUT!

I can at least have respect for honest right wing views (this next bit is important) presented in a GENUINE way for adults. But there is nothing honest about the way these organisations peddle their agenda. They do not say what they are and they deliberately dumb-down and write what Aristotle would call 'the noble lie'. That is to say; they are quite prepared to misrepresent reality with shocking propaghanda.
They are quite willing to use anecdotes and a whole host of logical fallacies, such as ad hominem, non sequiturs etc anything to get the job done...to sell ring wing policy to their target audience. This is why these papers are mocked so disparagingly by the genuine right, center and left.

Sorry for waffling so much.

I can see how putting up the picture of Richard LittleJohn helped to aid the interpretation of this poem being solely about the Daily Mail. If you think/take the 'you' mentioned in the poem as either the Daily Mail or Richard Littlejohn rather than a 3rd person influenced by the tabloid right; this is an entirely valid way to interpret the poem...just not my intention.

P.S

Although no paper can be said to be lacking bias (not even an honest historian or translator can strictly be said to be lacking bias). We have to be very careful of not affording moral equivalence where it is not warranted. The centrist or papers of the left are bias, bias in the same way other broadsheets of the right are bias. But they do have much higher standards of journalistic practice than the papers we are talking about here. They are not treated with derision across the board in private quarters by the left and the right the way these papers are. Few other media organisations cause the very real and worrying social problems that these papers do.

All my opinion of course.

I think we have all met the person in this poem- agree or not about the source of their views.

If you got to the end of this agree or not with my politics- well done and thx for reading the poem.

Best Chris

Comment is about Right Thinking (blog)

Original item by Chris Co

ray miller

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Thu 3rd May 2012 15:46

Nice poem. I liked
I wouldn’t have wanted to fight anywhere else!
Ending is good, too.
Odd choice of title, I thought. Implies holidays, to me anyhow.Some of the lines are a bit long e.g. I'd end the first one at boredom.
To get out and escape - same thing?

Comment is about Our day out (blog)

Original item by Chris Co

Chris Co

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Thu 3rd May 2012 15:37

Hi Isobel,

Thx for reading and commenting on the poem.
Very much appreciated. I've left a response on the blog.

My Best

Chris

Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Chris Co

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Thu 3rd May 2012 15:34

Hi Isobel,

I know what you mean about scale and walking everywhere, life did indeed feel more contained back then. I can't say with any certainty why I felt as I did.

I think it might have stemmed from teenage conciousness (finding awareness) and the feeling of having something to lose having gained a real home.

Comment is about Our day out (blog)

Original item by Chris Co

M.C. Newberry

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Thu 3rd May 2012 15:17

Certainly a most descriptive view of its subject, and having been on my share of walks
in such surroundings, the "picture" painted by these words was very familiar.
Tell me...is "ebon" short for "ebony"(black).
Not sure but it seems so to me.
Oh - loved the picture.

Comment is about Thirlmere in May (blog)

M.C. Newberry

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Thu 3rd May 2012 15:08

It is my view that the popular press might be
summed up (political leanings aside) as...
Rudely reprehensible,
Impolitely indispensable.

Comment is about Right Thinking (blog)

Original item by Chris Co

M.C. Newberry

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Thu 3rd May 2012 14:29

I like the concept - and chuckled at Yvonne's
nod to "writer's block". Humour is rarely a lonely hunter!

Comment is about Writer at play (blog)

Original item by Dominic Simpson

M.C. Newberry

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Thu 3rd May 2012 14:22

If you are sure the content is yours, then you
have copyright on your side. The least the
website could do is credit the entry to you.
Obviously, it helps if you can back your claim with a reference to its origins and any previous publication. Poetry seems to be "fair
game" for some, as if it is some "free for all"
to which anyone is entitled to benefit. Not
that publication is a bad thing BUT the author
should be approached for permission IF known.

Comment is about Someone has stolen my poem (blog)

Original item by Shirley Smothers

M.C. Newberry

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Thu 3rd May 2012 14:14

An off-the-wall take on the hassle of buying a home. Short...and very sharp!

Comment is about House Hunting (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

ray miller

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Thu 3rd May 2012 14:01

Well, it's nothing if not descriptive. That's just a slight dig, I enjoyed the language. The length of lines 4, 6 and 11 causes a bit of a bump.

Comment is about Thirlmere in May (blog)

Greg Freeman

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Thu 3rd May 2012 13:31

Very moving, Ray. Steady, careful rhythm. I'm thinking it relates to your fostering.

Comment is about Looking After You (blog)

ray miller

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Thu 3rd May 2012 13:16

Nice poem. Liked this bit best.
Today the water’s still and black. Call it

sullen if you like. It cannot mind.

I'd end the poem there.I reckon this line is superfluous too

Beyond our reach it changes endlessly.

"to drown the image of the trees" might be better, avoids repeating mirrored/mirrors

Comment is about Ullswater Requiem (1) (blog)

Original item by Mike Smith

ray miller

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Thu 3rd May 2012 13:04

Thanks, Yvonne and Steve.A bit of fun and, yes, probably better spoken than read. Needs diluting too.

Comment is about Bathos (blog)

steve black

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Thu 3rd May 2012 10:49

I'm tempted to say this would make a great performance piece but I won't, that is usually a euphemism for 'shit on the page.' As Yvonne mentioned, some great wordplay and I like the way the theme kind of undermines itself. I once listened to some local poets argue the relative merits of having a bath as opposed to a shower, time I will never get back. I enjoyed this however.

Comment is about Bathos (blog)

steve black

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Thu 3rd May 2012 10:43

Again some good lines and some striking imagery. However, I'm struggling to find a beat, it's almost reads like one of those computer generated poems. Having said that, I'm not the sharpest knife in the drawer so don't take too much notice.

Comment is about Catharina (blog)

Original item by mark littler

Greg Freeman

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Wed 2nd May 2012 23:55

Cynthia, thanks for your perceptive comments on The Show. Appreciated.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (Poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Greg Freeman

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Wed 2nd May 2012 23:52

Cheers, Laura

Comment is about Laura Taylor (Poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Yvonne Brunton

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Wed 2nd May 2012 22:39

Oh Ray, you had me going with this one. the play on words is wonderful and the last line sews it up so neatly. Then I suddenly realised what the title was. XX

Comment is about Bathos (blog)

Yvonne Brunton

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Wed 2nd May 2012 22:34

Oho, vitriolic indeed! But is any paper unbiased? Since the Mail is so popular It is preaching to(or subliminally persuading) a captive audience. Should this actually be allowed?
Is one of the reasons for your outpourings, Chris, linked to the fact that, as a poet, you know/feel the power of words far more sensitively than your average Mail reader.
We are surrounded by subliminal propaganda which I do not think is a very moral or ethical approach to the dissemination of information.

Comment is about Right Thinking (blog)

Original item by Chris Co

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