Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:52
I like the juxtaposition of the warring couple who, at least, have each other and the writer who is experiencing the loneliness of being single.
Comment is about Medicine (Blog entry)
Original item by mike watts
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:47
Hi Dave, you certainly achieved that sense of detatchment. At what point did the idea for the acrostic occur?
Comment is about CCTV (Blog entry)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:42
powerful in it's simplicity! I Like!
Comment is about WHEN YOU WERE BORN (Blog entry)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:29
I feel echoes of The Lady Of Shallott and of Hiawatha in the rhythms of this piece and I like some of the imagery of contrasts -gentle swaying/ rush and roaring but my favorite line is'far below the long stone barrow' with its long alliterative vowel "oh" sounds plus the various reppeated consonants. Not at all overdone the phrase rolls satisfyingly off the tongue. The syntax of the last 4 lines rather defeats me ( no finite verb) and leaves me wondering if there's something missing, still to write?
Comment is about Ruby Like a Blood Red Flower (Blog entry)
Original item by Augusta Darling
Dave D Poet Rhumour
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:16
Well now Yvonne, that is a powerful kiss indeed - a lucky man methinks! :)
Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about The Kiss (Blog entry)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Sun 26th Feb 2012 12:59
Hi Yvonne - may I add my welcome too. :)
Thanks for dropping by my entries and leaving comments on a couple of poems. Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 12:53
Hi Isobel - yes it is on the darker side, hehe.
Originally it was titled CCT - the extra line was added some time later to add CCTV - but with the intention of further expansion that I haven't got around to as yet. However it seemed a suitable example of my occasional deviation from rhyme. ;)
The trouble is that as I never filed such items separately from rhymers, looking them out taxes my memory somewhat, hehe. I did locate a couple more though, so I will post those soon...
Sun 26th Feb 2012 12:46
Hi Yvonne, thanks for commenting. I was aiming to project an air of detachment which might be appropriate for both characters - with rather differing motives of course. ;)
Best wishes, Dave
Sun 26th Feb 2012 11:52
If we don't care or want to make positive change..don't share.. don't give and don't live and we don't want a better quality of life.. or don't care about our life...don't think about 'things'..we don't plan..and if we don't have a plan or protect what we have...and if we don't think..we will then fail...
Well that's what I think!
Happy days eh?
Comment is about I Think (Blog entry)
Original item by Graham Robinson
Sun 26th Feb 2012 11:49
Oooo - a twist in more ways than one at the end. I'm wondering if you could have got rid of those last two lines though - just to make it a perfect acrostic poem.
So this is Dave Dunn doing non rhyming poetry - I shall watch out for you on a dark night LOL!
Sun 26th Feb 2012 11:45
I love this one Greg. I wonder if you were inspired by John Darwin's latest?
You really do capture the nostalgia and the lingering sense of sadness, when the person is no longer there, but the essence is...
I'm wondering which Lido that might be. I used to live close to Ruislip Lido. I don't know how many there are around London.
Comment is about The cruet set (Blog entry)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Sun 26th Feb 2012 11:32
Thanks Chris and thanks Harry!
I wrote this for Greasby Poets and Writers..we choose different subjects each month...and somebody said why don't we write a Poem about our 'Next Poem' ?...lol
Comment is about My Next Poem... (Blog entry)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 00:51
I think Szymborska (sp?) had a quotation similar to the title of this piece. It was about why she defected from communism, and was something like 'I started off with a faith in Mankind, and now I have faith in people'
Comment is about I LOVE HUMANITY, IT'S PEOPLE I CAN'T STAND (Blog entry)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 00:20
I know this is going to sound odd coming from me but I expected a little more meat on the bones of this. It seems at odds with some of your other work. Maybe cos it's the voice of a child. I'm having trouble tying in the conclusion other than it being some nonsensical casual racism which some of my now dead relatives used to engage in.
Comment is about Devaluation (Blog entry)
Sat 25th Feb 2012 23:45
.. hi marianne, thanks for another comment .. I've been trying to read your mind in this 'cellist' poem .. 'Greta' is a similar image .. or maybe not ...
Comment is about The Cellist (Blog entry)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Sat 25th Feb 2012 23:34
... thanks Graham .. true incident the other day .. wished I could speak Polish .. cheers.
Comment is about Graham Sherwood (Poet profile)
Original item by Graham Sherwood
Sat 25th Feb 2012 23:33
Thanks Yvonne, glad you like it. :)
Rhyme? Well yes, I prefer it myself - it is more lyrical when we read it to people. I figure rather more than 99% of my poems have a rhyming scheme, albeit some 'bend' the funetics a bit, hehe.
Free verse and prose can be harder to distinguish between, but each must find their niche.
Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about The Unknown Child (Blog entry)
Sat 25th Feb 2012 23:31
I love stories with a macabre twist at the end!
Well done, the choice of adverbs - 'fastidioiusly', 'lovelessly', 'effortlessly', 'jauntily' are so effective.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 23:30
... Thanks Stella .. true incident the other day .. selfridges yard .. cheers.
Comment is about (Poet profile)
Sat 25th Feb 2012 23:21
I agree with Cynthia and Yvonne. The feeling of emptiness and lack of direction is created so vividly. A standout poem
Comment is about I remember the morning... (Blog entry)
Original item by Tom Harding
I have performed it in poetical Drama we wrote called War and Peace and have set others to music but now you have given me food for thought.
Comment is about Gulf War Special (Blog entry)
Sat 25th Feb 2012 23:12
I enjoyed this Edwin. It is a bit prosy, but is vivid and thought-provoking
Comment is about Blake Hall, Mirfield (Blog entry)
Original item by Edwin Stockdale
Sat 25th Feb 2012 22:59
The emotion in this is amazing in its intensity. So economical with words but all the images and vocabulary echoing the desolation throughout the whole poem - closed, knocked over, frozen shut, muttering to themselves, even the homeless man was employed, no clear plan, filled with snow.
I really like this. Well done.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 22:47
love this poem Tom and the title is so encapsulated by it. I also read a hint that a relationship may founder into the antepenultimate line. A little sting in the tail??
Just a 'footnote'( after Freda's toenote)I feel it would benefit from more punctuation at the end -
At least, when the sun shines,
It is spring and the birds
I'd even be tempted to put one between 'spring' and 'and'(the old 'Oxford comma) to really slow the pace.
Comment is about New York, Honeymoon Poem no.3 (Blog entry)
Sat 25th Feb 2012 22:37
nice. reminds me a bit of Billy Bragg. u could set it to music.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 22:30
Good Evening Marianne
Followed ever moment and action in slow motion... wonderful wonderful control of imagery and words.
Really well written.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 22:29
Thanks, Tom - I seem to have some things in common with Ginsberg, because he was also mentioned at Tyneside Poets, when I began to accompany my verses with a lag-top Casio keyboard (rather than a harmonium!).
Comment is about We Go Together (Chants from Walkabouts - 9) (Blog entry)
Original item by David Franks: Walkabouts Verse
Sat 25th Feb 2012 22:27
the short lines were part of an attempt at reduction, perahaps a not so succesful aping of the imagist principles of clarity. Ive been reading about the influence of Basho on William Carlos William- that's what is probably responsible.
Comment is about The Cat Asleep (Blog entry)
Sat 25th Feb 2012 22:03
Hi, thank you Barbi.
Comment is about Sinclair Azubuike Farrell (Poet profile)
Original item by Sinclair Azubuike Farrell
Sat 25th Feb 2012 21:57
I agree with Freda, this is sharp and neatly done.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 21:54
Beautiful, wonderful ethereal description.
Comment is about In between days (Blog entry)
Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Sat 25th Feb 2012 21:52
Thanks Isobel - I agree that the rhyme in this poem could be better in a few places - maybe I will give it a little refresh. :)
As for free verse, well it isn't that I don't ever pen that, but I prefer the rhyme & rhythm approach most of the time.
When I get into an experimental mood all sorts of odd things happen, hehe. Maybe I should dig out some of those though...
Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Deep Recession (Blog entry)
Sat 25th Feb 2012 21:24
Very moving, Dave. Thought provoking stuff!
On the technical side - thank heavens for some rhyme in your poems. Much free verse seems more like "prosetry" than poetry.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 21:06
I like 'leaving through a hole in the evening' and the theme of this poem but don't understand the reasoning behind so many short lines.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 21:01
i admire your indefatigable spirit and engagement with your subject. it's nice to see someone with a commitment to a project. your works remind me of ginsberg's travelling song/ poems.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 20:03
Hi Dave - I normally avoid banker poems like the plague :) but I'll make an exception this time.
Your poem reminds me that there is much to worry about in our current world - in particular your 'power and wealth do travel east' line. I fear that the West - in particular this little part of the West, has some harsh realities to wake up to.
Not sure if you ask for or welcome critique but I'd just say that some of the rhyming is a little forced in this. I'd like to see you do some non rhyming poetry - just as an experiment. I know that the likes of John Coopey haven't much time for free verse, but I think poets can't go wrong by experimenting with different writing styles. It took me ages to be able to write without rhyming though - and a good proportion of my poetry still wants to rhyme. The pain with rhyme is that you have to continue it through to the end - and it is so hard to do it naturally. Most of my rhyming poems have a wart somewhere...
I enjoyed the thought in this. x
Sat 25th Feb 2012 19:54
Good Poem - For the Common Good!
'Martin Luther King had a Dream of equality for all -
Nelson Mandela dreamed of peace in South Africa.
Neither of them were aggressive, strong or tall-
but both men were massive in nature and stature.'
(from my book 'Observations On Life') - available from- www.countyvise.co.uk
Regards - Graham
Keep up the Good Word... (Work)...
Comment is about FOR THE COMMON GOOD (Blog entry)
Original item by Tony Hilton
Sat 25th Feb 2012 19:26
An interesting write. I find it a bit prosy but like its originality.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 18:50
This is sharp writing, catching the sense of ghostly children just slipping out the room as you enter. I love to visit old houses that have stories in them like this. None of the Bronte girls were really suited to teaching or governessing. Emily got the sack for hitting one of her charges across the face. That was up at Northowram I believe.
Sat 25th Feb 2012 17:32
I just love the sound that boots make on loose shale. Not a word more of a sound.
Comment is about Cove (Blog entry)
Sat 25th Feb 2012 17:29
Hello Win, thank you for your odyssey through my recent stuff. Always interested in your comments.
The Qatarda piece was a silly attempt at a three-line, one-word per line haiku. It turned out to be a bit of a challenge to get a seven syllable middle word.
Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes