Mon 20th Feb 2012 11:47
Loved this poem Cynthia!
Great title, lovely lines and nice imagery.
A really good read.
Comment is about Ten Minutes (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Mon 20th Feb 2012 11:40
Like the idea and the flow of it all, nice one Dave.
Comment is about The Myth Of The Perfect Man (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Mon 20th Feb 2012 11:37
particularly enjoyed Granny flat - my kind of madness! lol
Comment is about Newbie Poet (been around the block a few times) (blog)
Original item by stephen j stirk
Mon 20th Feb 2012 11:15
Thanks Guys( Cynthia,Isobel,Patricia & Stefan, Laura) for your comments and ideas. Much appreciated.
The idea came out of speaking to people who had been involved in the war. They tended to remember things in short, sharp triggers like smell, colours and sounds etc.
I then saw a documentary film of WW1 which started in sepia then gradually changed to an early colour prodution.
It was a bit spooky as it was just like what the people had said in short, sharp shots etc on the film.
Hence, that may have come out in the way I laid it down on paper.
Comment is about OVER BY CHRISTMAS? (blog)
Original item by Mike Hilton
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:45
Great poem Andy - well done on getting it in there too
Comment is about Pinned back against the Wall (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:43
Hahaa - loving Granny Flat :D :D That's a fantastic first line and the ending is brilliant :D
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:40
I loved the first half of this poem - some fab lines in it - these especially
'Lined up for more work
Swapping work work
For hellish home work
And shameful scrubbing
Clogging the lifecycle
Of human negligible need
And spiritually chored up
Greed lying in dusty minds
And tellied lies of laziness'
Hmm. A hymn for the idle? I hear ya!
Comment is about Trafficland (blog)
Original item by Jackus
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:39
LOL - where did you get that picture of me from?
Great idea for a poem - and there is so much truth in it, beyond the humour. But how come the perfect woman isn't a myth? ;)
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:37
"...as she bends in this hot light"
I agree with Laura, all the pictures are very striking.
Comment is about Falling Colors (blog)
Original item by BT
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:22
'song orange' - :)
These pictures you are putting up - are they yours? I like them very much.
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:20
You have a truly original voice - I've not read anything quite like these pieces. There's an almost conversational feel to them, and it REALLY works.
Comment is about Some Times I Change My Mind (blog)
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:17
Another good piece BT - I do like the imagery of the pregnancy within this
Comment is about Your Aquiantance (blog)
Dave D Poet Rhumour
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:14
Well Isobel, I think after reading that I'm still content to remain a man, hehe. Despite the pain involved, I suspect that the writing was fun. :)
Time for me to dig out my 'Myth Of The Perfect Man' perhaps... Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Bloody Men (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Mon 20th Feb 2012 10:07
Another cracking piece of writing. I think you are writing up mania really very well. I love that reassurance of 'really, I'm getting better'
Comment is about Super Hero (blog)
Mon 20th Feb 2012 09:59
Yup, jampacked with fantastic imagery here...I get the feeling that the same person is involved here as in 'Fire flies'
Comment is about A Ribbon Cut As Red As my Heart (blog)
Mon 20th Feb 2012 09:56
Scuse the french but this is fucking outstanding - my god, it's almost like you've captured part of my own past here.
Brilliantly written and executed - the way you start and move through the tenses/times and capture that mad crashing. Agree with Rach - this is one of the best things I've ever read too.
Comment is about Fireflies in Glass Jars (blog)
Mon 20th Feb 2012 09:50
Hola BT - many thanks for your note on Tigerella - I'm glad you enjoyed it :) I will have to have a look through your offerings
Comment is about BT (Poet profile)
Mon 20th Feb 2012 09:41
I think we've come a long way with gay rights. But there will always be people who seek to to isolate/ridicule/hurt those who are not mainstream for whatever reason.
I can remember back in the 80s the girlfriend of a friend of mine being beaten up, making her way home from a gay nightclub. I'm guessing therefore that lesbians do have some homophobia to contend with. No doubt it's worse for gay men though, for the reasons you state, MC.
Comment is about I LOVE HUMANITY, IT'S PEOPLE I CAN'T STAND (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Mon 20th Feb 2012 09:05
Thank you guys!
Comment is about Connections (blog)
Original item by Brutus Paulinus
Mon 20th Feb 2012 08:50
What is charming about this tale is the love of a mother for her child makes her determined to preserve his expectations of her invincibility.
If a parent can manage to maintain that illusion all the way up to double figures, then they are doing well!
Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Serendipity (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Mon 20th Feb 2012 08:39
O2 be an electron, now that spring is near...
I enjoyed your poetry of physics, perhaps some of my expelled molecules will play a part in a sequel? ;)
Best wishes - and welcome to WOL - Dave
Comment is about Vapor (blog)
Mon 20th Feb 2012 08:32
Thank you so much for your critic, I'm really horrible at editing, but things just turn out all the better when you do. I'll give it a try. Thanks again you for being so very helpful. Best wishes
Comment is about Sugar Revolution (blog)
Mon 20th Feb 2012 08:07
I like this and i want to read it again. In fact I have. But an initial reaction is that there is too much here. Rather like candy floss, there's too much sugar. I think editing out some lines could make it a much finer poem.
Mon 20th Feb 2012 01:48
A quiet nod to a loss of innocence; the realisation that nothing lasts forever. And, I
agree, the last line is well done!
Comment is about Demolition (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Mon 20th Feb 2012 01:43
Droll, with a deft ending. The use of verse
neatly fits the subject matter, though I find
that singular and plural don't make neat partners in rhyme - but that's purely a
Comment is about A Contemporary Romance (blog)
Original item by Jan Jack
Mon 20th Feb 2012 01:03
just the way it is Hade excellent!
Comment is about On the Road (blog)
Original item by Hayden
Sun 19th Feb 2012 23:43
I like bleach poem. You have an original style impervious to germ killers x
Patricia &Stefan wilde
Sun 19th Feb 2012 22:32
We very much enjoyed this poem.xx
Sun 19th Feb 2012 22:27
How very kind of you Stephen.
Have browsed your work
and find it very much indeed
to our liking.
on both counts.
Comment is about Land Lantern (blog)
Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Sun 19th Feb 2012 21:22
I'm not sure about the title either but enjoyed the poem, which is effective. It fitted with a discussion this morning led by Rev Bob Callaghan National Co-ordinator of Inclusive Church. The times they certainly are a changing in some quarters. But not others. Yet.
Sun 19th Feb 2012 19:43
Nicely nutty and very enjoyable. Hope you stick around this time Stephen
Sun 19th Feb 2012 19:42
When I watched my infant school torn down in sections..the little girl in me surfaced..so many things of my past being destroyed. Funny that I came to this today for I have had that very conversation about losing pieces of the past.chilly
J. Otis Powell!
Sun 19th Feb 2012 19:41
Stella: You write like someone in love with darkness, shades and ambiguities; how will you know if you get what you want? Better yet; how will you want what it is you get? This poem and the one about death opening automatic doors illustrate how well you know the answers.
Comment is about Visitation (For The Ghost Theme) (blog)
Sun 19th Feb 2012 19:37
Enjoyed them both..Like Rach I started to read in all seriousness..ha!
Sun 19th Feb 2012 19:17
Nice one.. :)
Comment is about what passes off as rubbish nowaday's (blog)
Original item by SPACEGHOST
Sun 19th Feb 2012 19:09
I love this...I really do love this..hell yeah!
Comment is about Esoteric (revised) (blog)
Original item by J. Otis Powell‽ (with interrobang)
Sun 19th Feb 2012 17:56
Stella: Try a swallow of this http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=27503
Comment is about (Poet profile)
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sun 19th Feb 2012 17:40
I think this subject is a good one, Mike. Whether 'sepia' is the colour of 'time distance' or the shades of old film clips, its use is very evocative. The third stanza is especially strong. Your idealogical point is well-made and the repetition ties the whole theme together. I have a suggestion only: Since you are building on 'sepia', how many words for shades of brown, gray, greenish and yellowish could you come up with, to keep the target idea of 'sepia' absolutely focussed, and then be so sharply contrasted with modern full colour exposure of WW11. Especially since the real point is what does not change - the winnowing of loss.
Sun 19th Feb 2012 16:40
I am clicking and snapping inside with excitement. Your writing makes me feel alive. Not being afraid to write, I have been afraid to write my whole life, hiding it from everyone I knew, because everyone I knew was a writer, how could I compare? but fuck it, why should I hide my thoughts my fears, my loves. Your writing moves me and that's how i know it's art. Please never stop.
Sun 19th Feb 2012 16:39
this is a classic mate i think
all and every bit
Sun 19th Feb 2012 16:34
driven by the moon i will shake this earth at least once
powerfull words !
nice on !
Sun 19th Feb 2012 16:24
To have a place to live I’ve recreated the universe
I’m writing an afterlife in case.
Stunningly beautiful and strong.
Comment is about J. Otis Powell‽ (with interrobang) (Poet profile)
Sun 19th Feb 2012 15:47
I.G. - John? I'd hazard a guess and feel
complimented that you had a certain Mr Coopey in mind...right?
Comment is about CHAIN RINGING (blog)
Original item by Ian Gant
Sun 19th Feb 2012 15:44
'towards the subway' sorry for the typo. don't know where the 'toe' came from.
Comment is about New York, Honeymoon Poem no.3 (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Sun 19th Feb 2012 15:43
I like the images in this poem, the urban scenes, especially the people cascading like leaves towards toe underground. If it was mine, I would go through it being rigorous about taking out unnecessary words and even lines, where you have caught the image and don't need to carry on: one example is that if you take out 'blow toward one another' you still have the limbs crossing arms, so it is enough to make the point. words like 'one another' and also 'someone' are not useful, like splodges of the wrong colour in a painting. 'And perhaps we are' is another example. The poem would be a bit 'crisper' I think without it.
Just my opinion of course.
Sun 19th Feb 2012 15:42
There is an entertaining combination of the zany and the appealing use of verse. There is a place for this in today's often downbeat range of poetical product. I sense the spirit
of Spike Milligan passing by my eyes.
Sun 19th Feb 2012 15:39
haha i like granny flat. :) the first three lines i read in all seriousness thinking mmm yes wallpaper paste lickers interesting hahahah x
Sun 19th Feb 2012 15:33
Isobel - from a general perspective I'd say that men are certainly intrigued by a woman to
woman relationship and do not feel "threatened"
as they surely do by the idea that a man might
have the same ideas about his own sex. It may
be ego that enables men - however lacking - to
think they might be "sex objects" for other men
but that ego & unease still exists...hence the
the ongoing undercurrent of "rejection" in society and its effects which I raised in my verse. Is society ever truly "whole" unless it
can accommodate its own humanity/people?
Sun 19th Feb 2012 15:13
I think I can predate any of this, having had my concept collection of verse and lyrics published at my own expense by Janus Publishing
Ltd back in 2006 - title: "Singing Words". It
is available online through various outlets
including Amazon. Songs of mine have been
recorded in Nashville and released on CD over
Sorry Faber - as far as the idea is concerned
you're a bit late!
Comment is about Jarvis Cocker to give free reading in Cambridge (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Sun 19th Feb 2012 15:03
Hi Jackus - welcome to WOL. Good to see you've put a blog on already. Hope you enjoy exploring the site!
Comment is about Jackus (Poet profile)
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