Tue 15th May 2012 13:30
Harry - I know, I make up words all the time too, but cords are pliable material, not rigid, so don't and can't break. It just jars with me.
Ray - smellevision is a concept that comes out of advertising I THINK. The idea's been around since I was a nipper, and how it works is that televisions emit smells of the stuff that's shown onscreen :) Sweaty socks, sausages, rotting stuff, flowers ;)
Comment is about Poor Poem (blog)
Tue 15th May 2012 12:35
Interested in the discussion about `broke`
between you and Laura. Aristotle (somewhere)
talks about poetry using - sometimes - slightly strange, but relevant, words. I think this is a demonstration.
By the way, when I looked at the title properly and `got` it (it`s my age) This is a good poem.
Tue 15th May 2012 12:06
For a minute there I thought I was reading an extract from Philip Larkin's diary.They don't do coffee at my library, just sour-faced librarians. Enjoyed.
Comment is about Sketching and Zeppelins (blog)
Original item by mike watts
Tue 15th May 2012 12:02
For all the energy and time the English invest in football you'd think we would be better at it. Pass and move, Bill Nicholson, Jimmy Greaves, jumpers for goalposts! In the spirit of tribalism, let's hope Bayern do us all a favour this weekend. Enjoyed.
Comment is about Fergie, Fergie (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Tue 15th May 2012 11:19
Thanks, Laura. I think cord is broke is just about ok, though I know what you mean. Those four lines you highlight are the ones I like least - I was trying to give some sense of a life passing very quickly. Excuse my ignorance but what is smellevision?
Tue 15th May 2012 00:45
hi Harry, nah i dunno, depends on your POV. due to the strong topic matter, i think a couple of swear words are allowed. just my view. BUT...
She works in the bar.
He drinks in the bar.
They leave in his car.
She's his passenger.
Down dark roads they travel.
Not their normal route.
Venturing here or there.
Up in the air from here.
Something went wrong.
His car left the road.
Down an embankment.
Upside down in the river.
No crash barrier?
Trapped in the car.
Off duty rookie cop.
Rookie no more after this crash.
Cop couldn't get the girl out due to the car being inverted.
Tried to save the girl.
Unable to give her air.
Got her drunken boyfriend to do it.
Her pulse increased.
For a while.
A battle lost.
Would it have been easier if the car was upright?
Boyfriend loses it.
She can't die!
Drink and drive.
Crash and murder your girlfriend.
Just like that.
A life taken due to stupidity.
How many times did this happen and he got away with it?
Not this time.
Throw the book at him.
Karma will screw him over.
Both man's and God's.
Lynette is dead.
just for you, a sincere version with no swearing... thanx for reading, nick.
Comment is about Warhearts (blog)
Original item by nick armbrister
Mon 14th May 2012 23:37
As you say, MC, gentle.
Your words, I assume? Melody too?
Comment is about WHEN YOU WALKED INTO MY LIFE (blog)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Mon 14th May 2012 23:20
Chris, thank you for your comments, I am giving your suggestions some thought.
Comment is about The Tory Press And The Loony Left (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Mon 14th May 2012 23:03
Loved this one Lucy. Win x
Comment is about Cupid's spindle (blog)
Original item by Lucy
Mon 14th May 2012 23:00
A poem of life as well as loss as life goes on. I think a lot of people will hear the voice in this poem. Win x
Comment is about Grief Stricken (blog)
Mon 14th May 2012 22:56
And yet he was gracious in defeat.
Mon 14th May 2012 22:39
I considered the football clubs as spires to a differing religion; one that sits well with the religious and non religious alike hehe
Comment is about A SCOUSE CONGRATULATION (blog)
Mon 14th May 2012 21:37
Effective memorial done in a `private eye` rat tat sort of narrative style...But - even so -the `tits up` and `fuck` don`t belong in this kind of poem...(they spoil the sincerity)
Mon 14th May 2012 21:17
I want to gloat John but I can`t. I`m too busy
hiding from all my Evertonian mates.
Mon 14th May 2012 21:13
Christian, Gas masks were fun (honest!)
With a piece of flat card over the air intake you could suffocate your best mate to death...
two kids in our school fainted...The `out` was to hook your finger in the tight bit under your ear and breathe.
Your poem is truer than you think.
Comment is about Civvies (blog)
Mon 14th May 2012 20:44
Comment is about Hatton Locks (blog)
Original item by Katypoetess
Mon 14th May 2012 20:42
yes, this is good.
Comment is about Secret (blog)
Mon 14th May 2012 20:40
I love this one as well.
Comment is about What is love? (blog)
Mon 14th May 2012 20:34
I love it.
Comment is about First Night (blog)
Mon 14th May 2012 19:03
in loving memory of Lynette Hammond, RIP my dear angel xxx
Mon 14th May 2012 18:39
7pm as a start time makes it near impossible for anyone outside Manchester. Really want to come along but...just never likely to be able to.
Comment is about Write Out Loud Stockport tonight (article)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Mon 14th May 2012 17:11
I like the gusto of your poem and I'd certainly agree with you on the call for the lib-dems to leave the government.
Political views aside (though I dare say we agree on quite a bit) very flattering to hear my offering had such an effect.
I can see that your poem is based in metre and on that note I had a little go at trying to round a few edges off for you; to try and help the sonic lines. Have a little look and see what you think.
Keep or leave any offerings as you see fit.
I don’t think much of the Conservative press,
I think they are responsible, more or less
For indoctrinating normal working folk
Into wearing the tallest and saddest joke
that voting Tory is the way to go,
When workers’ foe is Cameron and co.
They continually berate the loony left
Forging decade old lies bygone and bereft.
So called New Labour is just right of centre,
Thatcherist policies just a bit gentler,
But no big cuts to the public sector jobs
that was down to the Tory scissored-knobs,
Who picked on the poor and the disabled too
For they need to give more to the privileged few.
Austerity just heads on a downward spiral,
Contracting lives while poverty goes viral.
Workers voting Tory – now that's preposterous!
Turkeys want no stuffing even at Christmas!!
Now as the recession hits a double dip,
I think it is time the Lib-Dems jumped ship.
A centrist pledge never seemed like a theft
but there was no party left on the left!
The only real options – what a dynasty!
We need a change; can we call it Honesty!
Mon 14th May 2012 16:12
Hi Lynn - thanks for the kind comment about "So Broken Hearted" (demo version). I admire the singer Marcie Summers (from Bristol) immensely and she can be found singing on my latest post "When You Walked Into My Life". Back to SBH for a moment: the commercially released recording has just spent 8 weeks ina country DJs' list/chart across Europe and Australia. One day I may even be big in Albania!! :-)
Finally, I totally agree with the comments applauding "Teardrops In My Coffee". A great song-title
and a lyric that is worth someone's tune!
Comment is about Lynn Dye (Poet profile)
Mon 14th May 2012 12:14
Glad you liked 'you won't batter anymore', greg. A minor hitch with the cd is i cant sing and cant play.
Comment is about Greg Freeman (Poet profile)
Mon 14th May 2012 12:07
... And while we're on the subject of selby chippies - mr c's on finkle street displays the name of the boat that caught your fish! That's traceability! 'course it's probably the ho chi minh from the mekong delta. But glad you liked 'you won't batter anymore'.
Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
Mon 14th May 2012 11:58
Hello lynn. Glad you liked 'you won't batter anymore'. A classic by bluddy helly!
Mon 14th May 2012 11:49
'Turn in his gravy'? Ha ha, very good. I see i've got competition!
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Mon 14th May 2012 09:51
The cord is 'broke'? Dunt sit right that, for me. Cords are cut, not 'broke'.
I like the title, and the piece overall* - another one who can identify with it. It's a bit like smellevision this, but poetry :D
* BUT - I would take these two verses and reduce them into something that makes more sense:
The cord is broke
and blood sponged up
the wedding robes
are coarsely cut.
Mon 14th May 2012 00:27
Thank you so much, Yvonne for the feedback on my poems. I agree with you reg;"Grief Stricken" and have decided to amend accordingly. Many thanks. xxx
Sun 13th May 2012 23:34
Thank you so much for your comment on "Surreal". It is, in fact, very true. The reason why it is more of a rant than anything else was because I needed to get my thoughts on the event penned down or typed up.
Sun 13th May 2012 23:01
This is very good, Joshua. I like the way it goes from questioning the sermon to the whole sadness of the event to the "party" afterwards being a distasteful dream. And finally, it is in the night time that the full weight of it dawned.
So true and real, well done.
Comment is about Surreal (blog)
Original item by Joshua Van-Cook
Sun 13th May 2012 22:54
Good one, MC! Enjoyed this, I am in awe.
Comment is about SO BROKEN HEARTED - demo version (blog)
Sun 13th May 2012 22:47
According to my grandson's book '1001 horrible facts' people fart 14 times a day on average. Just wondered how Harry knows it's Beethoven's 5th that 's the thunderous one?
Comment is about Repeat performance (blog)
Sun 13th May 2012 22:21
I like the way you do not reveal that the 'absent' person is dead until the last verse, but I wonder if there would be a greater effect if you removed all the 'now you are gone' lines except the last one.
Sun 13th May 2012 22:17
M.C.About the ending of your last comment:
It made me go back into the bewilderments of demography and the pension problems of aging populations. Including (would you believe it?)China.
The forecast (pension saving?) increase in Britain`s population appears to be mainly due to immigrants, as apparently -they say- we are not reproducing ourselves sufficiently.
Maybe we (and maybe even China!) will have to rely heavily on the people from those lands which are `unproductive` if only to finance our pension needs in the future.
Demography is scary...I hope there is some hidden self-regulating feature in it all...but
it`s got me scared! (and why should I be the only one to have my sunday spoiled?)
Sun 13th May 2012 21:52
Harry, thanks for your comments. It is a complex world out there and I agree with some of your comments.
Sun 13th May 2012 21:32
Thank you everyone for your comments :)
MC - did you read that story about Gordon Brown in the Tory press? ;o) Not that I'm defending the plonker, I wouldn't even call him a socialist!
You could be right about the Labour voters having their pensions squandered by him (chickens coming home to roost) but that would be no worse than any voting Tory to have their jobs axed by them months after they got in!
Maybe they are not always the big bad wolf? Well, I was prepared to give Cameron and the coalition a chance, but now... well, lets just say - perhaps I would have more time for them if we truly were all in this together!
Thank you Joshua for your approval :o)
Tommy, I completely agree about your misnomer of "the country". Thank you for your comments, you have given me some food for thought there! :o)
Yvonne, you are right, an honest MP an oxymoron!
Sun 13th May 2012 21:27
Reminds me of Hopkins (something sprung rhythm-ish about it).
Admire the hard-syllabled adjectival attack of the first three stanzas tapering off into the `explanatory` ending and the alliteration in the final line.
An excellently workmanlike piece of poetry.
Comment is about Bowers Row Second-hand Memories (blog)
Original item by C Richard Miles
Sun 13th May 2012 20:58
What ho! MC.
Glad you liked "You Won't Batter Anymore". Even the great Buddy can be improved on!
I think you're right about the repetitons in "Together" being overdone bu my own preference is to retain the 4-phrase chorus line after each verse but dispense with the final "envoie".
We (that's Richard, my co-writer and I) wanted something very simple lyically and musically for the kids, and also strong in Christian ethic but without being "god-y"
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (Poet profile)
Sun 13th May 2012 20:42
Glad you liked "Together". We recorded it in school on Wednesday (its world premiere!) and I posted it the same day (I think).
We (that's Richard and myself) wanted something simple musically and lyrically for the kids; also, something Christian in tone(together/caring for others/strong helping weak etc) but not "god-y".
Anyway, the kids seem to like it.
Sun 13th May 2012 18:29
King James 2000 Bible (©2003)
''It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle, than for a rich man to enter into the kingdom of God.''
Are NOT most of the following 'Christians' ?
Carlos Slim Helu & family
$69 B 72 telecom Mexico
$61 B 56 Microsoft United States
$44 B 81 Berkshire Hathaway United States
$41 B 63 LVMH France
$37.5 B 75 Zara Spain
$36 B 67 Oracle United States
$30 B 55 mining, oil Brazil
$26 B 64 H&M Sweden
$25.5 B 83 diversified Hong Kong
$25.4 B 92 Aldi Germany
Christy Walton & family
$25.3 B 57 Wal-Mart United States
$25 B 76 diversified United States
$25 B 71 diversified United States
$24.9 B 78 casinos United States
$24 B 89 L'Oreal France
$23.7 B 64 Wal-Mart United States
$23.3 B 62 Wal-Mart United States
S. Robson Walton
$23.1 B 68 Wal-Mart United States
$22.3 B 54 petrochemicals, oil & gas India
$22 B 70 Bloomberg LP United States
$20.7 B 61 steel India
$20 B 81 hedge funds United States
Michele Ferrero & family
$19 B 85 chocolates Italy
$18.7 B 38 Google United States
$18.7 B 39 Google United States
$18.4 B 48 Amazon.com United States
Thomas & Raymond Kwok & family
$18.3 B 0 real estate Hong Kong
$18.1 B 58 steel, telecom, investments Russia
Prince Alwaleed Bin Talal Alsaud
$18 B 57 investments Saudi Arabia
Lee Shau Kee
$18 B 84 diversified Hong Kong
$18 B 58 Mining Australia
Berthold & Theo Jr. Albrecht
$17.8 B 0 Aldi, Trader Joe's Germany
Iris Fontbona & family
$17.8 B 69 mining Chile
Michael Otto & family
$17.6 B 68 retail, real estate Germany
David Thomson & family
$17.5 B 54 media Canada
$17.5 B 27 Facebook United States
Ricardo Salinas Pliego & family
$17.4 B 56 retail, media Mexico
Alberto Bailleres Gonzalez & family
$16.5 B 80 mining Mexico
$16 B 45 steel, coal Ukraine
$16 B 86 diversified Hong Kong
$15.9 B 47 Dell United States
$15.9 B 55 steel, transport Russia
$15.9 B 66 software India
$15.7 B 56 Microsoft United States
$15.3 B 46 steel, investments Russia
$14.5 B 51 metals Russia
$14.4 B 74 Nike United States
$14.2 B 59 Microsoft, investments United States
German Larrea Mota Velasco & family
$14.2 B 58 mining Mexico
$14 B 76 leveraged buyouts United States
Birgit Rausing & family
$14 B 88 packaging Sweden
Forrest Mars Jr
$13.8 B 80 candy United States
$13.8 B 72 candy United States
$13.8 B 75 candy United States
$13.8 B 73 banking Brazil
$13.5 B 61 Lukoil Russia
$13.4 B 47 oil, banking, telecom Russia
$13.2 B 46 investments Russia
$13 B 49 BMW, pharmaceuticals Germany
Francois Pinault & family
$13 B 75 retail France
Mohammed Al Amoudi
$12.5 B 67 oil, diversified Saudi Arabia
Anne Cox Chambers
$12.5 B 92 media United States
$12.5 B 56 hedge funds United States
$12.4 B 88 diversified Malaysia
Luis Carlos Sarmiento
$12.4 B 79 banking Colombia
$12.4 B 54 oil, metals Russia
Antonio Ermirio de Moraes & family
$12.2 B 83 diversified Brazil
$12.1 B 45 steel, investments Russia
$12 B 79 real estate United States
Jorge Paulo Lemann
$12 B 72 beer Brazil
$12 B 69 leveraged buyouts United States
$11.9 B 54 diversified United States
$11.9 B 56 gas, chemicals Russia
Leonardo Del Vecchio
$11.5 B 76 eyewear Italy
$11.3 B 67 shipping Cyprus
$11.2 B 54 sugar, flour, cement Nigeria
$11.2 B 45 BMW Germany
Gerald Cavendish Grosvenor & family
$11 B 60 real estate United Kingdom
$11 B 66 oil & gas United States
Savitri Jindal & family
$10.9 B 62 steel India
$10.8 B 40 coal, fertilizers Russia
$10.7 B 73 hedge funds United States
Ernesto Bertarelli & family
$10.6 B 46 biotech, investments Switzerland
Jack Taylor & family
$10.4 B 89 Enterprise Rent-A-Car United States
$10.3 B 50 Fidelity United States
$10.2 B 43 Technology China
Eliodoro, Bernardo & Patricia Matte
$10.2 B 0 paper Chile
$10 B 62 hedge funds United States
$10 B 69 oil & gas, banking United States
$10 B 85 BMW Germany
$10 B 86 packaging Sweden
Tadashi Yanai & family
$10 B 63 retail Japan
Serge Dassault & family
$9.9 B 86 aviation France
$9.9 B 73 telecoms Malaysia
$9.8 B 74 shipping Germany
$9.7 B 82 construction Ireland
Alejandro Santo Domingo Davila
$9.5 B 35 beer Colombia
Horst Paulmann & family
$9.3 B 77 retail Chile
$9.1 B 59 oil & gas Russia
Laurene Powell Jobs & family
$9 B 48 Apple, Disney United States
Sun 13th May 2012 18:23
Enjoyed this good positive poem, Lucy.
Comment is about The Recovery of Faith (blog)
Sun 13th May 2012 18:08
A lovely thought.
Comment is about Ullswater Requiem (7) (blog)
Original item by Mike Smith
Sun 13th May 2012 17:42
It's a bit long but I like the way it slides laterally from idea to idea.
Comment is about Invisible Mending (blog)
Original item by STEVE RUDD
Sun 13th May 2012 16:45
I have always admired the effort that creates a school song. A purely fictitious - and favourite - example is Richard Addinsell's school song for the Robert Donat film version of "Goodbye Mr Chips", to my mind, on an equal footing with the more famous real-life "Eton Boating Song".
Comment is about Together (blog)
Sun 13th May 2012 16:36
I`m ashamed of you, `squeaks and puffs`?
For Pete`s sake man you were in a university
...In a seat of learning!
The quality of the farts in a university should be of the cheeks-wide-open-thunderous-Beethoven`s-fifth variety, worthy of the learned surroundings!
We can`t take you anywhere.
Sun 13th May 2012 16:22
The Tories are hardly immune to proper and just criticism, but the idea that they are alway the Big Bad Wolf, contemptuous of opportunity and self-improvement for others, is risible. Work and working practices/opportunities change - witness the emergence of the vast online market - and any government must keep up and adapt as best it can...often, sadly, some way behind what is needed. To stifle business or those who seek to create it is folly by any political party. But today's workplace is a hugely diverse arena, with creators and entrepreneurs coming from across the social spectrum. There will always be those who make possibilities and those who make their living by helping that process to successful fruition. In between come those who are content to receive the income provided by others without doing either. Whilst sorting out the properly deserving from the rest, no government serves its people by false spending and scant saving. There is no easy fix and even Christ himself was supposed to have remarked that "The poor are always with us". "Poor" is relevant to the times in which it exists and today's definition doesn't compare with what was known to and suffered by previous generations. There can be no age that provides so many "safety nets" for those enduring hard times, with and without official help. This has to be a worthy and laudable situation in an increasingly global and competitive world, with a worrying rise in population - especally in "unproductive" lands, that, ultimately, might threaten the existence of humanity itself.
Sun 13th May 2012 16:14
I wonder if we all live in the same world.Under a Tory goverment, I:
1...(for free) went to Uni and got a couple of geriatric degrees.
2...four of my children (all left school at the age of sixteen) looked at their decrepit old fart of a father and decided to do the same.
3...Three are now teachers (one a head) and one is a probation officer.
When my factory closed, I was almost crushed in the rush of those people wanting to take redundancy (pay)
I am a lifelong socialist and trade union official.
The most important thing we should recognise about the popular press is that it is popular.
When Socialism says `from each according to their ability, to each according to their need`It is indisputable...But we must remember that Stalin was helped to kill millions of people in pusuit of that desireable end.
When Capitalism says `Leave individualism alone` this also has much to commend it...but leaving the bankers alone has led to the present disaster.
For me, the crux of the matter lies in the old saying that: `WHOEVER HAS THE MANAGEMENT WILL HAVE THE MONEY` ( I visited Hungary in it`s communistic decline and saw how true that was)That`s how the bankers ended up with all those millions.
Again - for me - At a time of the emergence of huge, new, united economic power-centers, for Britain to remain outside of central decision taking in the Euro is very foolish.
Finally...I think it`s about time we all woke up out of our `Up the workers!` and `Little Englander` dreams and took a good, hard look at what is really going on in the world around us
Sun 13th May 2012 16:13
Thaks a million for your review on The Blooding. I was going to ask if you would consider reviewing my 2nd collection, The Dreaded Boy by Pighog Press?
I'm happy to send you a copy if you wish and I'd be very grateful.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (Poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sun 13th May 2012 15:59
Really enjoyed this account, Julian. Made me wish I could have been there.
Comment is about Simon Armitage, Marsden rock star (article)
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