steve mellor

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 07:43

Hi John
Thanks for the time on Grammar Blues
It started out as a poem about an 11 year old student, who I had witnessed outside my local Grammar. His Mum was actually straightening his hair, and taking a photo of him, her and his Dad right in front of the school.
It made my toes curl

Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Yvonne Brunton

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 05:50

love the economy of this. So much said by so few words.
just not comfortable with the zeugma of 'jog' with 'questions', Maybe some other verb needed instead/ as well?

Comment is about Pictures (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Yvonne Brunton

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 04:51

Ah the blissful arrogance of youth! When did it forsake me?
It reminds me of one of Gervaise Phinn's tales of rural education and the young primary school lad who was adamant in his science lesson the pebble would float. The description of the episode and the lad's exclamation of 'well, bugger me it sunk!'
is hilarious.
I enjoyed your poem.

Comment is about Can't Beat Experience (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Yvonne Brunton

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 04:44

plus toilet humour to heighten the juvenile mentality. Made me laugh!

Comment is about My Dad's Bigger than your Dad (blog)

Original item by Dave Viney

Yvonne Brunton

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 04:38

I'mpressed xx

Comment is about WORDS OF PLAY (blog)

Original item by Mike Hilton

Yvonne Brunton

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 04:35

poor thing!

I like the style xx

Comment is about Flight of doom (blog)

Dave Viney

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 03:22

My first ever child poem - kinda fingures that it would be about a little scally kid.

Comment is about My Dad's Bigger than your Dad (blog)

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Lynn Dye

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 02:16

I love this poem too. Excellent stuff, Andy and Jeff.

Comment is about The Death of Summer (Parts III & IV) (blog)

Original item by A Means to an End

Lynn Dye

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 02:10

Another goodie, only I especially like the last line of this one! L.xx

Comment is about No time for time (blog)

Lynn Dye

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 02:04

Aww, so sad. Good words though, Stef. L.xx

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Rachel Bond

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 00:30

great poem and pic. ee that looks like the ebm round back corner.

Comment is about Cotton Town (blog)

Original item by Jeffarama!

tracey bucknell

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Sat 15th Sep 2012 00:24

i absolutley love this poem :) it's so dark and emotional .. brilliant ..
well done jeff & andy N

Comment is about The Death of Summer (Parts III & IV) (blog)

Original item by A Means to an End

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Fri 14th Sep 2012 22:06

one of those poems
able to be read from different angles.
The one we have read from(dont ask)
is quite suitable.

Cheers.

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Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Fri 14th Sep 2012 22:01

Nice one Mike!
in liking it
we are mucho!

Comment is about WORDS OF PLAY (blog)

Original item by Mike Hilton

Val Cook

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Fri 14th Sep 2012 11:26

Harry
Your the best, I love your poems. X

Comment is about MAUREEN`S FRECKLES (blog)

Greg Freeman

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Fri 14th Sep 2012 10:41

I agree with you, Julian - and Steve - that that line may be superfluous. And the poem is about reduction, after all.

Comment is about Pictures (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Julian (Admin)

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Fri 14th Sep 2012 10:07

It is excellent, en route to my kind of poetry where less is more, more or less. I agree with Steve that you could cut more and gain effect. For example, with 'Who is that man?', you don't need 'I don't know him'; you've already told us that. 'sometimes' is implicit in 'but more often', etc.

Enjambment is ideal for expressing the confusion of the subject.

And here we are again with those questions about written versus spoken.

I love this and would urge you to play with the words and layout a bit more. none of my business, of course!

Comment is about Pictures (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Marianne Louise Daniels

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Fri 14th Sep 2012 09:46

Hello Noris,

I have been reading your poetry and I am hooked! They are charged and breathtaking, beautiful and defiant.

"when you sentenced your goodbye

without consulting God" love this.

Thank you for sharing


Marianne

Comment is about Noris Roberts (Poet profile)

Original item by Noris Roberts

Jeff Dawson

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Fri 14th Sep 2012 07:05

Agree with Kenneth, and looking forward to this. Here is a poem I wrote with respect to Sophie for a punk weekend fund raiser @ the Witchwood, Ashton U Lyne for the Sophie Lancaster fund -
http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=29121

Comment is about The Killing of Sophie Lancaster: Simon Armitage elegy restaged in theatre (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Lynn Dye

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 21:50

Very good, Steve, gave me a chuckle, and love the twist at the end.

Comment is about Grammar Blues (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

Lynn Dye

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 20:55

Yes, a true story and Colin was that driver!
Thank you for comment, Stef (and maybe Tricia :o) ) L.xx

Comment is about Can't Beat Experience (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

garside

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 20:29

not hung upon the embroidery of the clouds.


aye

Comment is about Requiescat (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Harry O'Neill

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 19:49



Excellent example of a strikingly effective `enough said`

Comment is about Pictures (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 19:41

Glad it made you laugh Lynn
can't be serious all the time eh.P&S.xx

Comment is about Is wrong the new right? (blog)

Poets Corner

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 19:33

Thanks Jeff...mate!
I think it was watching the sad death of two relatives 'younger than me' in their 40's plus watching my/our {Poet Friend Tony Fielding) who I read with many times...sadly die over a 2 year period and seeing the 'Courage' that they all showed in 'passing on'...

As you say 'sometimes' you have to write it down!

Thanks mate - Bests Graham

Comment is about It Takes Courage (blog)

Original item by Graham Robinson

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 19:30

Are we talking Mr.Colin here Lynn
in this very amusing story/poem?
Interesting tale-thank you.xx

Comment is about Can't Beat Experience (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Greg Freeman

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 19:04

Thanks for your kinds words on Pictures, John. Yes, I agree, I feel I'm working against a deadline these days ... THE deadline, in fact.

Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)

Original item by John Coopey

Greg Freeman

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 19:02

Hi Lynn, thanks for your kinds words on Pictures. Greg

Comment is about Lynn Dye (Poet profile)

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Isobel

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 17:47

Humour is a difficult one - often it's the politically incorrect that makes us laugh more. When it comes to regional characteristics, I think there is sometimes a historical grain of truth that is taken and distorted out of all proportion.

For sure the Scots enjoy a wee dram - though plenty are probably tee total and spend their hours knitting aran jumpers. The Welsh are supposed to be insular - although my Auntie is welsh, now living in Brighton and the most lovely, sociable lady you could ever wish to meet. Insurance premiums do rise as you near certain cities - though you'd have to study statistics to substantiate that one ;) Perhaps the necessity to thieve comes essentially from poverty and unemployment - and in its history, Liverpool has certainly suffered plenty of that.

The Livepuglians I've met have wonderful sense of humour and rogueish natures - they normally give as good as they get. But I do take your point about stereotyping.

Comment is about Laura Taylor (Poet profile)

Original item by Laura Taylor

John Coopey

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 16:06

I enjoyed the chiarosker, tchee arrow, chiarow skewre oh.
Anyway, Terry's used to make a box of chocolates called Light and Dark.

Comment is about DARK AND LIGHT (blog)

Original item by M.C. Newberry

John Coopey

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 16:03

Naughty, naughty, Anthony!
I heartily concur, Karen. Using a mobile phone while driving is very dangerous. Also you will get it very greasy from your fish and chips.

Comment is about Handsfree (blog)

Original item by Karen Robinson

John Coopey

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 15:55

Harry,
I thought someone of your age would know - it's the mole that lives in the hole
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jdwLp0co6C0

Comment is about MAUREEN`S FRECKLES (blog)

John Coopey

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 15:49

Great twist, Steve.
It reminds me of the last time my lad got expelled from school for exposing himself. I said to him, "That's the third expulsion in 4 years! Do you think you're really cut out for teaching, son?"

Comment is about Grammar Blues (blog)

Original item by steve mellor

John Coopey

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 15:44

Loved it, Nick. Especially the rhythm and imagery.
Also the hints at rhyme delivered internally echo the old man searching for familiarity and sense in what he's playing.

Comment is about The Violinist (blog)

Original item by Nick Coleman

John Coopey

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 15:35

Excellent Greg. Maximum power from minimum wordage.
It frightens me to think that we will swop place in time and, instead of being the author and observer, become the subject of the poem.

Comment is about Pictures (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Laura Taylor

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 15:08

Hola Is

I'm not, technically, but have worked and socialised with scousers for years, and kept getting told I sounded scouse. I poohpoohed this for years - right up until I saw the first vid of myself performing poetry and then thought 'ah, yes, I can see why now!'. I come from Rainhill which has a funny mix of old Lancs and Scouse :) The 'joking' that is done about scousers is always derogatory - the pie eaters reference is funny, but being constantly referred to as thieves is less so!

Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Marianne Louise Daniels

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 15:07

Thank you for reading and your comments.

x

Comment is about Inanimate (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Nigel Astell

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 14:26

Dip those toes
Make them splash
Take the plunge
If too cold
Resurface double quick
Then wait till
Warm waters flow
Before diving in
The poetry pool.

Comment is about Maggie Waker (Poet profile)

Original item by Maggie Waker

Lynn Dye

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 14:15

Excellent, Greg.
I love the way it says so much with so few words, which seems to add to the pathos. Love it.

Comment is about Pictures (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Lynn Dye

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 14:06

Yes, that has tied me up successfully in knots, haha.
I think he might be wrong in doing wrong to come out right, most wrongs are never right but rights often end up wrong!
Yeah, you had it right, all along, who gives a shit... haha :o)
L.xx

Comment is about Is wrong the new right? (blog)

Isobel

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 14:06

Hi Steve - Gosh - how prolific are you? Wish I could find some time and motivation to write. I'd love another freebie. Not sure when our paths will next cross - am not managing to get to much nowadays - other than the Tudor. Hopefully will get over to the Marsden jazz festival with Cate again - so long as things are ok on the home front. Take care for now anyway :)

Comment is about steve mellor (Poet profile)

Original item by steve mellor

Poets Corner

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 14:01

The above Poem is from my book 'Observations On Life' published by www.countyvise.co.uk who I would heartily recommend to any Poet/Writer considering publishing their work.

Thank You - Graham Robinson/Poets Corner.

Comment is about Smile and Laugh (blog)

Original item by Graham Robinson

Laura Taylor

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 13:32

Hi Gray - thanks again fella :)

Ah - again I am going to say no to your suggested change, because if you think about it, my daughter moves 'in' me, she isn't yet born, that's why our eyes are waiting. So we can't lie side by side, just yet anyway :)

Yeh - please, feel free to share :)

Comment is about Bed (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Poets Corner

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 13:16

Oh Laura What a nother 'great write' mate...so proud of you...can I make just one observation on this lovely Poem 1. I'm pissed off cos' I never wrote it! and 2. I would add the words 'side by side' after umbrellaed...so it reads - 'Twighlight dappled waiting eyes...
as we two lay...
umbrellaed - side by side...
in our umbilical bed.

Only a suggestion darlin' ok mate?
Let me know if ok to share this on my 'timeline' Thanks Gray xxx

Comment is about Bed (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Lynn Dye

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 12:43

Hi Julian, thank you very much for your comment on my latest - I agree about the plum crazy! I would offer to send you some but they ripen too quickly! Downloading greengages, interesting thought, wish I could. :o)

Comment is about Julian Jordon (Poet profile)

Original item by Julian Jordon

Lynn Dye

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 12:27

Hi Julian, thank you for your comment.
Just a shame I can't download you some. :o)

Comment is about Greengage Anyone? (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

Laura Taylor

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 11:58

Yeh, think you're spot on with that Is, re the performance aspect of it. Perhaps we should join some kind of creative writing 'workshop' - learn all about stuff we don't know the names of heh ;D

Dunt take away from the poem though.

Comment is about Pictures (blog)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Laura Taylor

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 11:54

Hey, thanks Anthony, for your note on Should We?

Just get so bloody angry at people who insist on saying it, over and over again - 'ohh it's pointless, never makes a difference' blah blah. And yeh - you're bang on with the Hillsborough reference. Yesterday was momentous...really didn't expect that kind of result. So so pleased and proud of the people who fought for all those years. Like a lot of Merseysiders, I knew people who were there, and it's been beyond infuriating and frustrating that the Authority's version of events was believed by so many people for so long. And now the truth is out. There MUST be criminal charges for all involved - the Attorney General cannot, in the face of all the evidence, refuse a new inquest.

Cheers :)


Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (Poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Karen Robinson

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 11:45

Thanks Anthony. I use Audacity. An audio software program which is free to download and enables you to use mulitple tracks quite simply. I imported the music backing track as an mp3, which I bought through Spotify, then just recorded my voice over the top (as a separate track). I added a few of the sound effects on a third track. I have a good quality USB microphone (Yeti) which I think makes a difference. But it's just recorded at my desk in my study, straight onto my PC.

Comment is about Handsfree (blog)

Original item by Karen Robinson

Anthony Emmerson

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Thu 13th Sep 2012 11:30

Well done Yvonne!

Regards,
A.E.

p.s. That's a very fetching photo of you leaping for joy!

Comment is about (blog)

Original item by Yvonne Brunton

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