Mon 27th Feb 2012 15:04
Thanks for your comments on Over by Christmas, much appreciated.
Comment is about Richie Muster (Poet profile)
Original item by Richie Muster
Dave D Poet Rhumour
Mon 27th Feb 2012 15:00
The many subtle lines you wrote here are very good, enjoyed! Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about [Petals On] A New Dawn Rose (blog)
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:56
This came about when I was following the Stephen Lawrence murderers trial and how things seem to right themselves with patience and belief.
Comment is about Dave Dunn (Poet profile)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:53
Thanks Mike - yes my prosy poem is a work in progress - though I think I might leave it there. It just reflects me of the moment :)x
Comment is about Mike Hilton (Poet profile)
Original item by Mike Hilton
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:51
Thanks for your comments on Maternal Beacon I hope it has given you some positve vibes.
I've had this in my locker for some 20 years but have only just managed to let it flow/release, if you know what I mean. But I have found it to be a good theraputic walking stick!
I can relate to and like your 'A prosy poem'.
It hits the nail on the head for me, if only people in the loop would think the same!
Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:49
re: the profile photo; I'm sitting on a very dusty front room floor trying, and failing, to get that 'moody, enigmatic' look. Neither noir nor 'phwoar!', eh?
Comment is about John Coopey (Poet profile)
Original item by John Coopey
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:46
Such warring neighbours can provide a distraction from boredom, as well as material, hehe. I think of my radio as being a companion when the house is empty - and at least we can choose the conversation with that! :) Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Medicine (blog)
Original item by mike watts
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:35
It's people - sorry, scum - like these who raise the bloodlust in otherwise decent folk. We shouldn't be asking for it back: we should be stripping them of their assets and making them swim to their 'tax haven' of choice weighted down with sovereigns. [Then again, if they die at sea we can't dance on their graves.]
Comment is about Bankers With A Capital 'W' (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
A sad tale Mike - parents losing a child of any age must experience a void that can never be filled... Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about SPIRIT (blog)
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:29
Hi Katie, I can readily identify with your poem about mobility scooters - I use mine a lot in better weather, but few shops are really planned for access! We are fortunate with the dropped kerbs here though. Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Katie Sheila Haigh (Poet profile)
Original item by Katie Sheila Haigh
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:28
This is beautiful Mike. I couldn't possibly explain how it resonates for me x
Comment is about Maternal Beacon (blog)
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:26
Aaah, pass the duchy from the left hand side, me ol' mucker, and don't bogart that joint. Scooby-doobie-doo, doo-dooobie-doobie etc...
Comment is about Patricia and Stefan Wilde (Poet profile)
Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:14
A good poem on the trenches, Mike. I have a fascination with the Great War which compels me too to write poems about 1914-18. Just by the by, for my money the 20th century was the shortest [and, after the 14th., the worst] on record, only starting in 1914 [after the Victorian/Edwardian Great Binge] and ending in 1991, when the wars in the Balkans kicked off and the rest of the world decided 'enough is enough; we're just going to sit it out now and wait for the future i.e. the millennium to roll up, with its silver jump suits, pills for food and a personal jetpack for everyone.'
Comment is about OVER BY CHRISTMAS? (blog)
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:06
You seem to have struck a chord here Laura; this reminds me of the nightmare of maths lessons wayyyy back when; and then [glutton for punishment] when I tried to do a maths GCSE in the 80s. What the hell was I thinking? You can't write a poem with numbers! [Can you?]
Cheers for the comments re: New Dawn Rose too chuck. I just love ambiguity!
Comment is about Dyscalculia (blog)
Original item by Laura Taylor
Mon 27th Feb 2012 14:00
Let's not think of ourselves as dirty old buggers, rather as having a proper lust for life eh? I like this boyo: it's short, smart and succinct. Perhaps one or two semicolons too many though?
Comment is about Flora (blog)
Mon 27th Feb 2012 12:18
like others have said a nice flow, lovely imagine and a great sound to it. Cos I can hear the music!
Comment is about The Cellist (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Mon 27th Feb 2012 12:02
I was tempted to say I like the last verse but I like all the of them!
Lovely feel about it all.
Comment is about Oceans (blog)
Mon 27th Feb 2012 08:17
Thanks for your comments on The Cruet Set, John. I was interested in your family story about the Doncaster mining job. My wife's Scottish great-grandfather was blacklisted for seven years after the General Strike. It caused a lot of hardship in his family, and even a political divide. Then in his seventies, or maybe even eighties, he became a Communist councillor in his home pit village. There must be poems about both those relatives to be written, some day. Greg
Mon 27th Feb 2012 08:10
Hi Stella, thanks for your comments on The Cruet set. Have been admiring the exotic reach of some of your poems, especially Eating Mango and A Village Somewhere in Greece. Greg
Comment is about (Poet profile)
Mon 27th Feb 2012 01:18
Amen to that! Words are what men live by...
signposts pointing the way down the years.
I own small old volumes of poetry written
many years ago and the words and their authors
speak across time to me...the message loud and
"As long as men can breathe, or eyes can see,
So long lives this, and this gives life to thee." (Shakespeare - who knew his stuff!)
Comment is about Poetry is my Legacy (blog)
Original item by Sinclair Azubuike Farrell
Mon 27th Feb 2012 00:55
Death always makes you think about life - I liked this matt
Comment is about Fate Accomplished (blog)
Original item by Matt Carter
Sun 26th Feb 2012 23:57
Lovely images, Greg.
I too have a very limited recollection of my grandad. One story though still sits in the family memory bank that he walked from Nottigham to Doncaster to find work in the pits because he was blacked in Nottingham.
Comment is about The cruet set (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Sun 26th Feb 2012 23:49
Where you bin, Augusta? I've had to enjoy the pleasure of my own company for the past few months.
Comment is about Ruby Like a Blood Red Flower (blog)
Original item by Augusta Darling
Sun 26th Feb 2012 22:22
Hi Patricia, I agree with Tom. Lovely poem. x
Comment is about In between days (blog)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 21:57
Thanks, Steve. It's a poor poem, to be sure, poorly executed anyhow. But there's a nice idea in there so no doubt I shall return to it one day to try mek a bad ting good.
It's at odds with much of my stuff but I like having a go at different voices, angles, forms.
Comment is about Devaluation (blog)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 21:02
Somewhere beyond this day..nice..
Comment is about Untitled (blog)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 20:56
Oh I too enjoyed this one of yours Greg..yes well done your mum for not turfing away bits and pieces..I am always being told to get rid..but I do find it hard and especially photographs..nice work Greg :)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 20:48
I know how keen you are on the Bronte sisters Edwin and the attention to detail here works well for me..you know so much of them it is nice to have something told that I didnt know..nice work :)
Comment is about Blake Hall, Mirfield (blog)
Original item by Edwin Stockdale
Sun 26th Feb 2012 20:46
Yes you have those images well Yvonne..remember my nephew waking up with one of those camel spiders on his chest..loved that first verse..nice work Yvonne :)
Comment is about Gulf War Special (blog)
Original item by Yvonne Brunton
Sun 26th Feb 2012 19:37
What's a feminine ending? a la Longfellow
A few weeks ago I did a parody of Hiawatha's Wooing, telling of my wooing of my wife Annie. I tried to maintain a regular reference to Hiawatha as I was writing, but whether I achieved feminine endings I don't know
I removed my comments from your Liverpool poem. I thought John's comments were peurile, and may well distract from what you were trying to achive.
All being well, I'll see you at Sowerby. I don't think I'll be able to do my Hiawatha parody (luckily for you) as the first part is well in excess of 5 mins long, and part 2 is somewhere between 15 and 20 minutes. If I put it in very small print, do you think Sean will let me read 1 A4 poem?
Comment is about Freda Davis (Poet profile)
Original item by Freda Davis
Sun 26th Feb 2012 19:32
Hi Edwin. I'm not sure if I can tell you how to make a poem less prosy - or if I should even attempt. All poets have their own voice - yours appears to be a more literal one - and that's fine if it works for you and your readership.
I see that the River Dee Railway Bridge is in a similar vein to your Bronte poem. The writer is like an eye - describing a scene - with that curious sense of detachment - even when describing tragedy.
I do write prosy poetry too, sometimes. And then there are other times when I go for the whole musical beat thing :) Because I am into performance poetry, I tend to like stuff that will work on a stage - so it has to flow and be understood easily...
Comment is about Edwin Stockdale (Poet profile)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 19:05
Thank you for the comments on my poem. I'm glad you find it orginal and thought-provoking. If you have any suggestions on how to make it less prosy then fire away!
Comment is about Dave Bradley (Poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Sun 26th Feb 2012 19:04
I love this poem because it's very lyrical! I like the short lines because it makes me read it slower and focus on the words.
Comment is about The Cat Asleep (blog)
Original item by Tom Harding
Sun 26th Feb 2012 19:02
Thank you for the lovely comments on my poem.
Comment is about Tom Harding (Poet profile)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 19:01
Hi, thanks for the comments on my poem. I'm glad you find it an interesting write and original. If you have any suggestions on how it could be less prosy then fire away!
Sun 26th Feb 2012 18:40
Thank you for your kind comments about my Bronte poem. I'm glad you liked it.
Sun 26th Feb 2012 18:39
Thanks for all your comments everybody!
Sun 26th Feb 2012 15:43
Lovely poem which reminds me of the rhythm in Betjeman's Ireland with Emily. Agree with Yvonne's comments but well done you.
Sun 26th Feb 2012 15:34
Thank you MC for your kind and much appreciated comments on The Awakening. CHEERS.
Comment is about M.C. Newberry (Poet profile)
Original item by M.C. Newberry
Sun 26th Feb 2012 15:30
Past times are so nostalgic and make us what we are at present. The problem is we can never satisfy our curiosity for those who lived before and whose genes we share. Still a part of us and yet separate at the same time.
Is this going to be a serendipity poem BTW?, there seems to be a Genie-esque quality about the silverware. Very much enjoyed. CHEERS.
(And ta very much for your kind coments on The Awakening.)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 14:33
Hi Yvonne, the Acrostic was the framework for the tale - originally without the last line, with the short title CCT as an abbreviation of the acrostic words.
I will probably extend it properly in time - or maybe write a sequel. :)
Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about CCTV (blog)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 14:24
Thanks, Isobel. You're right, it was inspired by John Darwin's fine poem. http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=27821
I've spent some time sifting through my mum's flat; for me it's like finding buried treasure on occasions, particularly among the photographs. I've learned a lot about my family; well done, Mum, for not throwing anything away! The lido was actually called Surbiton Lagoon, an open-air pool that stayed open until the 1980s and is now a housing estate.
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:52
I like the juxtaposition of the warring couple who, at least, have each other and the writer who is experiencing the loneliness of being single.
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:47
Hi Dave, you certainly achieved that sense of detatchment. At what point did the idea for the acrostic occur?
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:42
powerful in it's simplicity! I Like!
Comment is about WHEN YOU WERE BORN (blog)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:29
I feel echoes of The Lady Of Shallott and of Hiawatha in the rhythms of this piece and I like some of the imagery of contrasts -gentle swaying/ rush and roaring but my favorite line is'far below the long stone barrow' with its long alliterative vowel "oh" sounds plus the various reppeated consonants. Not at all overdone the phrase rolls satisfyingly off the tongue. The syntax of the last 4 lines rather defeats me ( no finite verb) and leaves me wondering if there's something missing, still to write?
Sun 26th Feb 2012 13:16
Well now Yvonne, that is a powerful kiss indeed - a lucky man methinks! :)
Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about The Kiss (blog)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 12:59
Hi Yvonne - may I add my welcome too. :)
Thanks for dropping by my entries and leaving comments on a couple of poems. Best wishes, Dave
Comment is about Yvonne Brunton (Poet profile)
Sun 26th Feb 2012 12:53
Hi Isobel - yes it is on the darker side, hehe.
Originally it was titled CCT - the extra line was added some time later to add CCTV - but with the intention of further expansion that I haven't got around to as yet. However it seemed a suitable example of my occasional deviation from rhyme. ;)
The trouble is that as I never filed such items separately from rhymers, looking them out taxes my memory somewhat, hehe. I did locate a couple more though, so I will post those soon...
Sun 26th Feb 2012 12:46
Hi Yvonne, thanks for commenting. I was aiming to project an air of detachment which might be appropriate for both characters - with rather differing motives of course. ;)
Best wishes, Dave
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