Tue 20th Jan 2009 02:38
It was all too much on the outside
So easy to slide
Into realms where demons hide
yeah tis ,,, , if your heart breaks folks force you to rest it . somehow it doesnt always work like that with your head .
people seem to want to snap it out of itself
Comment is about Plastic Sheet (neatly folded for Dee) (blog)
Tue 20th Jan 2009 01:34
Comment is about nivelan (poet profile)
Original item by nivelan
Tue 20th Jan 2009 01:20
the poem is about the group as opposed to the individual, I was aware most of the time.
sick of people with silly mental health 'dont talk about it' taboos, its as bad as sex, tut
Tue 20th Jan 2009 01:17
no it relates to that.
I was in for a while.
I also lost my ex to similar
hurt like hell
we both disintigrated for a while
made some things stronger
for me, it had to be done.
I'm sorry if this has lifted the silt a bit Gus, perhaps we can have another uber pub chat
loved the chat last time
Tue 20th Jan 2009 01:00
grief pete... I lost my ex to Schizophrenia and this what it felt like on the outside looking in.... if your poem relates to some other sectioned malaise please forgive me ...I just can't get past this transportation.......
hurts..really hurts,,,,,,well crafted
Mon 19th Jan 2009 22:18
Hi Anthony, thanks a lot for the comment, it's much appreciated. I've read your stuff and I'm very impressed with 'The Other Side of Kenneth', I felt a great sense of maturity within it. Good work!
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
Mon 19th Jan 2009 16:17
I like your writing a lot and it's lovely to read - can really connect with it.
Comment is about Ctrl Esc? (blog)
Mon 19th Jan 2009 14:13
Hi Mike, Thanks very much for your comments. I've just had a look through some of your work, and I definitely get the sense that you might have the infamous "thousand mile stare" in person. Very detailed work but quite a succinct message. Also "Humans are flowers..." I very much enjoyed, it has a wistful quality that really slows down the train of thought to a more contemplative tempo. Thanks again!
Mon 19th Jan 2009 13:58
Brutal, powerful, exhibiting the harsh exterior of life. Truth hurts. Moved by this matt - mike
Comment is about antiflection (blog)
Mon 19th Jan 2009 13:17
Thank you all for your kind words on my blog. Yes it is a hard and sensitive subject to try and write about. I am pleased you all enjoyed
Comment is about An artist’s brush away (blog)
Original item by Phil Golding
Sun 18th Jan 2009 23:34
Interesting here that you have used the "y" sound as a focus and rhyme. The abrupt ending threw me a little - but was made up for by Betty in all her glory!
Comment is about Not yet home, but dry (blog)
Alison Mary Dunn
Sun 18th Jan 2009 19:42
Ralph, I love the lines. "Blankets of Tuesdays Telegraph blown away" "sepia memory". The final line where that fob watch is still ticking after Dandy's gone has such an impact. Really well written sad fact of life
Comment is about Dandy (blog)
Original item by Ralph Dartford
Sun 18th Jan 2009 18:05
I'm so glad I took the trouble to go through the POTM's to find this gem. There is so much to admire about this celebration of womanhood. You illustrate very succinctly what, for men, is the attraction of the female of the species, and why we so often fail to see or understand it! An excellent and beautiful poem.
Comment is about Woman (article)
Sun 18th Jan 2009 17:59
Deborah, your words express so well our fragile existence. "only a sigh restores my memory of reasons to climb back up this thread". Yes, you have something brilliant in your mind and heart which you are able to share in the form of poetry. Loved 'Selkie'
Comment is about Selkie (blog)
Original item by Deborah Jordan
I'm quite new here and only found this by trawling through the POTM's. I'm so glad I did! It's witty, eloquent, suggestive and such wonderful word-play! Much admired, excellent.
Comment is about Canal Street (article)
Sun 18th Jan 2009 16:15
Hi Dandy, this is fabulous and sad.
I really enjoyed it
Sun 18th Jan 2009 16:11
Thanks Janet for your generous comments. I was not feeling at all miserable when I wrote this. I am conscious of all the things I would like to do and this was a reminder to get a move on, but I just love dreaming.
Comment is about Death will come (blog)
Original item by Carol Falaki
Sun 18th Jan 2009 15:17
I think you write really very well, love this and Deep Soul Treasure. This has the feel of an early Dylan ballad. Great stuff.
Comment is about Ballad of the Broken Strings (blog)
Sun 18th Jan 2009 13:41
it's difficult to explain really because i had two completely different sets of imagery as i read your poem. I'll explain both for you.
1. the first image being similar to Kate Bush in Wuthering heights but the scene felt warmer.
2. the second image was of the grey lady of the lake in the tales of King Arthur and excalibur.
Two very different images which i'm still pondering the meaning of. Oh well, that's me and my input.
I do so love your poetry. Always very effective and affective.
Sun 18th Jan 2009 13:19
the first poem made me feel so sad it brought tears to my eyes. Yet it is beautifully written.
The second one 'weather report,' was also quite good and very grey, except for the footprints in the sand of me. Splendid visionary senses.
Enjoyed these very much. Thankyou for sharing them with us.
Comment is about Two poems for lost love (blog)
Sun 18th Jan 2009 12:50
Perhaps I didn't phrase that in quite the right way - I meant 'bleak' in a good way! - not a negative. :-)
Have you ever read any Anne Tyler? In 'A Patchwork Planet' she wrote (paraphrasing here!) that every relationship is strained, but after 40 or 50 years - the other sort of becomes the right person. Or something along those lines.
Your poem reminded me of that anyway.
Thanks for your remarks re my 'Attitude'! lol
Sun 18th Jan 2009 12:11
My point is that good and evil (God and the devil if you call them that) are choices we all make here and now, and are always love and fear (in every sentient being). Clarissa shouldn't feel insulted because she seems to be making exactly the same point!
Comment is about Jesus Christ : The Real Man (blog)
Original item by Jon Ridgeway
Sun 18th Jan 2009 11:46
Great example of "show-not-tell" here. The brutality is drawn out through simple observations, and made all the more poignant for it. If I said I enjoyed it that would be the wrong word - perhaps "admired the artistry" is better.
Comment is about This Family Life (blog)
Sun 18th Jan 2009 11:40
The Swan in Wood Street sounds an OK place to me. How wonderful to be able to mark your "poetic" birthplace. Deserves a placemark on Google Earth. Much enjoyed.
Comment is about European Capital of wot? (blog)
Original item by Tim Ellis
Sun 18th Jan 2009 11:23
I have to say I love the accessibility of narrative poetry - (why isn't there more of it about?) Some great and very evocative descriptions packed seamlessly into this short, shining work. Much enjoyed.
Comment is about Goodbye to Billy's Super Rib (blog)
Sun 18th Jan 2009 11:22
Both of these are excellent Anthony, but I particularly liked 'A Hearty Breakfast' - very well written - it did, however, leave me feeling a little bit bleak!
Sun 18th Jan 2009 11:05
Thanks for taking a peek at "...not the only fruit." It's a very clumsy tongue-twister, but was great fun to construct. I guess writing something with that volume of rhymes is more akin to a crossword than poetry.
I really enjoyed the simple beauty of images in your "Yellow Dress" btw. Or was it beautiful simplicity? Probably both!
Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Sun 18th Jan 2009 10:38
Does this mark the end of an era then Antonionioni?
I think this is apt because it reminds me of where i came in.
ps. How about a good news week.
Comment is about Sermon sandwich (blog)
Sat 17th Jan 2009 23:19
Just read your poem, "Is this madness" can just imagine it being performed in a rap style with a great impact. What do you think? Winston
Comment is about Daniel Hooks (poet profile)
Original item by Daniel Hooks
Sat 17th Jan 2009 16:40
Sat 17th Jan 2009 16:39
Really liked this.
Comment is about Deep Soul Treasure Volume 1 (blog)
Sat 17th Jan 2009 16:38
Wonderful phrase - the gracing grip of day.
Comment is about The gracing grip of day (blog)
Sat 17th Jan 2009 11:14
Cheers, Steve. The poem is about Angel Hill in Boggart Hole Clough in North Manchester, which is right near where I grew up. The Angel is a bronze statue on a big stone plinth erected in remembrance of the first world war fatalities. I had to try and get all this into a short sonnet and I was advised on this one by Michael Symmons Roberts.
Comment is about Listening at the Statue to the Fallen (blog)
Original item by Simon Rennie
Sat 17th Jan 2009 04:44
sleep well, and very nice poem!
Sat 17th Jan 2009 01:36
night love x have a good one ...
Lauretta de Mar
Sat 17th Jan 2009 01:12
I named them 'hoo ray hens' as a bit of word play
cuz they act like us girls sometimes but would never admit to being as emotional as us.
Comment is about late night (blog)
Fri 16th Jan 2009 23:55
That was really lovely of you to say.
The poem reminds me of listening to the sound of the sea with your ear pressed up against a sea shell
Comment is about Tim Linton (poet profile)
Original item by Tim Linton
Fri 16th Jan 2009 23:46
There you go - I have now seen your profile and a mighty good read it was too. Goodnight Batman. Win
Comment is about Cayn White (poet profile)
Original item by Cayn White
Fri 16th Jan 2009 23:38
Ralph, this is a fantastic little contribution. It transported me away. How is it you have managed to write so realistically about this far off place and captur things so well. Esp liked sizzled wind and never closes then never ends. Winston
P.S. I worked at TGI fridays for 10 years, but it just wasn't the same. lol
Fri 16th Jan 2009 22:14
Liked this - like Winston the lines no balls....when drunk - very good, and so true of so many men I know! :-)
Fri 16th Jan 2009 20:59
Why My Winstonyness, thank you!
I have noticed it needs so work, chop a bit here n there, its just my tiny lil bedsit, it gets so messy and that Chav boyfriend of mine (who Paul loathes)- he's so lazy once he had his way with me (and scoffed about Paul Blackburn (Jealous you see)) he's out the door, offskie, the little chav.
I end up despising myself I should put him on a sex strike.
Fri 16th Jan 2009 20:31
Nurse, the screens !
Comment is about blog (blog)
Fri 16th Jan 2009 20:28
Oh Lauretta how I miss you as I lie in my sick bed.
If only you were my night nurse I know I'd be better already
Fri 16th Jan 2009 20:26
esp.the lines -
no balls when sober
no lead when drunk
Fri 16th Jan 2009 20:20
no I should have put a disclaimer on here
sorry its pure fiction :-)
Paul , do you want me to delete this, you don't normally ;-)
Fri 16th Jan 2009 20:10
Does this account have any basis in fact ?!
Fri 16th Jan 2009 18:43
have read this a few times now and feel a sense of smouldering pride that i have found in folk who live in and are from Liverpool - which i suppose remains a city with identity - i have only to see the vegetable boxes placed by residents on the side streets of Toxteth to have this view reaffirmed...
minor point time - i think that your work is compromised by the nostrils drinking bit...doesn't work for me imho
Fri 16th Jan 2009 18:34
I like the pulse of these words and the 'take off' at the end - feels like being drifted through a crime scene and being allowed the opportunity fo feel pity for the lost and dispossessed like Scrooge once was in his pjs : )
Fri 16th Jan 2009 18:23
this is a thought provoking poem. I sometimes think of the difference between God in the old testament and God in the New. Hmmmm!
Comment is about God Supermarket (blog)
© Copyright Write Out Loud 2015 CIC. All rights reserved.