Tue 22nd Sep 2009 23:00
interesting stuff, Cynthia.. bit different to your other stuff certo but i enjoyed it!
Comment is about The Peacock (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 22:59
but doesn't life often revolve around the same pattern, often without realising... enjoyed the full of the series, tone!
Comment is about Pointless 15 (blog)
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 22:57
proper heartbreaker, chuck.. agree totally with isobel over the last line - carries a proper kick!
Comment is about Losing Grip (blog)
Original item by Jessie
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 22:22
Thanks for that, Gus.
Comment is about SAPPHIRE AND JADE (blog)
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 21:30
A sad and touching one for any parent Chris. x
Comment is about come sit on my knee... (blog)
Original item by Christopher Dawson
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 21:13
Hi Cate. I'm pleased you liked Locusta, I hesitated about posting it as I worried about the imagery being a bit, erm, blokey? Not one for Sylvia Plath fans maybe!
Comment is about Cate (poet profile)
Original item by Cate
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 20:09
Michael, when you copy something from t'internet any links can be de-activated by hovering over them and clicking on "undo hyperlink" thisd should do it.
Comment is about A Thief in One's Own Home (blog)
Original item by michael shepherd
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 16:47
A haunting one Janet. Yes - there is a sadness and impermanence that runs through the poem. Romantic love is like that - unpredictable and uncontrollable We all sometimes wish for things that can't be. Somehow we have to come to terms with it and move on. In my opinion no body is irreplacable - except a child or parent.
Comment is about A Gentile Ripple (blog)
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 15:35
A vivid description of a boxing bout.
Comment is about Weekend Spar (blog)
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 15:18
I enjoyed reading this ballad type poem Neil. It always feels right when good banishes evil. Unfortunately it doesnt always happen in real life!!
Comment is about The Fantom Locusta (blog)
Original item by Neil West
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 15:16
Hi Neil, thanks for the comment on Our Gramps, and yes it was written from my memories , all perfectly true ,of my grandfather. Sos if The Wheel frightened you...... its done its job then, it was meant to !!!! lol
Comment is about Neil West (poet profile)
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 15:12
Hi Stephen, thanks for your comment on Sunflowers..hopefully you`re right and its a while before I cock my toes up!!!!!!
Comment is about stephen smith (poet profile)
Original item by stephen smith
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 14:14
I agree with Cynthia, please review the use of Cry me a River, there are so many better lines to use.
Use your last line for comparison; it's really strong.
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 13:39
For anyone who reads and comments, I would like to add that Dave has not gone insane! I edited this after his comment because I thought that he was right and had to have some mention of hope within the final lines. So well done Dave for making a hash of all my twaddle about poetry not being edited once it has been published either on the net or on paper. I humbly eat my words. However it was a very spontaneous editing!
Comment is about The Revelation of the End of Days. (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 13:29
Ok, you win. first time I have actually edited a poem after blogging it, so there's hope for me yet. Ammended the first line of the last stanza to include hope, but I do draw the line at wiping tears away haha.
Had some real fun writing that poem, with the irregularities running through it. It sort of symbolises the irregularites and complexities not only of human nature but also of conscious thought for me.
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 13:18
Hi Cynthia thanks for your comment, it's nice to let a bit of insanity take control of your pen once in a while. And I did have fun!! haha.
Irregular rhymes and rhythms and speaking in riddles are all part of the complexities of our consciousness, whose initial stream sometimes is hard to make sense of, don't you think?x
I have not commented on 'The Peacock' yet, but I shall. I wanted to read it over once again in peace and quiet, rather than make a half comment.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 13:16
This is the first out and out apocalyptic poem I've run across on WOL. Fascinating. I like it. Brave of you to have a go!
It makes the reader stand back and look at humanity from a cosmic perspective and in doing so raises SO many issues. One thing it doesn't do, which is perhaps worth mentioning, is to include the hope. The original is a very complex and confusing package - suspect anyone who claims to understand it! But it does say, quite clearly, that every tear will be wiped away, there will be no more death and everything will be made new.
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 12:56
Yes, Cynthia -- that's the 'extra step' that took my breath away : that even when we take what we think is our right because 'we paid for it', there's something missing emotionally in the exchange...wouldn't you agree, on a mental check of your local shop-keepers -- and above all, those stall-holders in the local market ?
In economics, it hides under that phrase 'exchange of goods and services'...
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 12:42
I don't see any inversion here. Michael is commenting on engagement with each other. That engagement which perhaps was often undervalued in our youth becomes much more important as we grow older. I suspect that there have always been miserable bastards around who don't want to 'give consciously with pleasure' - we were probably just less aware of it cos it was less of a need in ourselves. It is easy to look back through rose tinted glasses. An interesting poem Michael - I like it.
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 12:32
Gorgeous! Imagery is outstanding, diction is musical, wooing the reader through your story with increased delight, anticipating an intelligent, well-executed conclusion... which you duly provide.
Comment is about Conversations About Miles Davis (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 12:26
Otherwise we 'steal' the services for which we pay? Do I misread an inversion of the whole point being made?
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 12:25
Delighted to see you on here, Penny.
Comment is about Penny Pepper (poet profile)
Original item by Penny Pepper
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 12:19
Apologies for the words in blue, guys -- I copied from a site where Google surrounds your poem with 'appropriate' ads..(so if you write 'discreet' you get framed with tampon ads...) and I can't remove them here..
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 12:15
Very lyrical, Janet, with some lovely imagery.
I think you might be a tiny bit careful about phrases that are clearly recognizable pick-ups from popular songs. I've seen this before, and thought you were 'tongue in cheek' about it, but now I'm not sure. I don't think that it balances with the sincerity and general tone which I believe you intend.
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 11:52
I enjoyed this, Nicky. I had to do eyeball acrobatics with the rhyme schemes and discipline my irregular heartbeats with the rhythms, but I know you did that on purpose. You're having fun, aren't you, and your brain is whipping along sort of 'madly'? Relish the rush!
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 11:21
Togheresque and typically enjoyable.
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 10:51
I like this piece , I must admit you caught me unaware because of the ref to Miles Davis , I saw this and started to read whilst still breaking the weld that sleep bestows, then suddenly BANG. 'We share a love of polish cinema' , that line creates strong imagery. As a fan of Miles Davis I have drawn my own picture regarding the mood and feel of the piece and it may not be the image others have ,but it works for me ,perhaps some lines could do with editing , please don't take that the wrong way , the piece is yours and we are all different. The picture of Miles concentrates the imagery by setting the piece up (very good combination for a book ,) If I was given this to read or heard it spoken I would definitely smile or clap at the end.
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 10:14
Hi John - as discussed.
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 09:06
Against the blackness of the modern world, Steve, you seem to be invisible - hence I reply here to you kind words. Would that I had the first idea of Blake and his '-ian'. I will put Him to our local Group for an airing. I would have sampled Black before Blake but, as said, the former is concealed - pehaps by ubiquitous Dark Matter?
Comment is about THE GREAT UNWASHED (blog)
Original item by Barrie Singleton
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 08:45
This is very provocative, Graham, and puts its finger on some of the real stuff out there. It leaves one wondering what you really think, which is a nice device for teasing and engaging the reader
Comment is about Black Messiah (blog)
Original item by Graham Sherwood
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 08:40
I like this Janet but can't top Nicky's comments, which are almost a poem in their own 'write'
Tue 22nd Sep 2009 07:57
I think this is beautifully written Janet, with subtle but quite exquisite imagery. For me it epitomises the song of the mermaid which I believe that mythological legend tells us we can hear in the beautiful conche shell. A song that in one way or another exists in all of us. The swell of the waves encaptures the swell of sorrow, and emotion that rises within us and then gently ebbs away. Also, a subtle feeling of impermance threads gently through its lines.
It was a lovely start to my day. Thank you.x
Mon 21st Sep 2009 23:04
Love the idea of the black messiah Graham, and who's to say the messiah was not black? And maybe all people need saving this time, but we watch and we wait, with hope and also a little trepidation.
Mon 21st Sep 2009 21:37
I don't know, I find I'm imagining sandwich based snacks most of the time, I think bacon for supper, yum ;)
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Mon 21st Sep 2009 21:35
Hi Cate, thank you for your comments, I hadn't really thought of it before but I don't often write about the experiences of children. It's something you do especially well in Our Gramps, even though it's ostensibly about the grandfather character (yours?). I also think this poem has a great musicality, I can see you are musical, and makes great use of metaphorical images. Great work. Mind you, I'm a bit scared by For Whom the Wheel Turns, I wouldn't want to get on the wrong side of this character! ;)
Comment is about Our Gramps (blog)
Mon 21st Sep 2009 19:21
'He was just a young man' is very moving. Really well written - I like it a lot.
Comment is about Simon Ellis (poet profile)
Original item by Simon Ellis
Mon 21st Sep 2009 16:58
I guess we were all looking for a hero but only time will tell whether we got one or not!
The last line is very cynical Graham, probably with just cause!
Mon 21st Sep 2009 16:55
Aww... what a lovely little verse. It brought tears to my eyes. And what a lovely picture too.
Marianne Louise Daniels
Mon 21st Sep 2009 15:54
thanks for the comments cynthia. The Peacock is a gloriously rich poem. x
Mon 21st Sep 2009 12:54
It sings, Marianne. What a command of language you have. Its beauty of vocal sound is almost enough in itself. But the thoughts also come imperceptibly into your mind, like melody hidden in disparate chords.
Comment is about Snow (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Mon 21st Sep 2009 12:48
Yes - us poets do tend to let it all hang out in our poetry - some to a larger extent than others - an interesting and humouress observation Yo.
Comment is about Never Shag A Poet (blog)
Original item by Yolande
Mon 21st Sep 2009 11:58
Thanks for the prod and comment.
I was there for the final week and a half up to election day. Wall to wall TV coverage. UK politics has nothing on the US fiasco. God help Obama.
Steve M. :-))))
Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)
Mon 21st Sep 2009 11:24
Hi Dave, thanks for your comment on 'April' - I agree it can last but that wasn't how the writer felt at the time! Like your old texts poem very much - personally I do a lot of deleting to avoid embarrassing myself the morning after :-)
Mon 21st Sep 2009 11:07
Thanks for your comments. My husband said a similar thing and told me to update my history before writing, but I hope I put the idea across.
Hitler not only desecreated humanity but much of the world's Art. I'm not a religious person, but wherever he is I hope he's suffering twelve million times more than the suffering he placed on each individual. Knowing our luck he'll be Satan.s right hand man and come back to haunt humanity at the end of days.
Maybe I should have personified him as War, one of the four horseman of the Apocolypse.
Comment is about Graham Buchan (poet profile)
Original item by Graham Buchan
Mon 21st Sep 2009 10:57
Hi steve, as I was one of those who followed the Obama election with morbid interest, I mirror your sentiments on this. There was a foreboding conviction held by many that overshadowed the whole proceedings, one that maybe I think will continue indefinately - people are shallow and fickle creatures and power always hangs precariously in the balance, and the stanza, 'how would failure be recieved?' draws on this and juxtaposes the hope and the foreboding, and balances the continuity not only of the poem but also the ongoing fear of many, and interest of others on the future of this man who holds so much power in his hands.
Comment is about Hopes & Fears (blog)
Mon 21st Sep 2009 10:40
I loved this, what a story. Cleverly constructed.
Comment is about Critical Switch (article)
Mon 21st Sep 2009 10:35
thnaks for your comment on 'plum' Cate. i loved for whom the wheel turns :)
Sun 20th Sep 2009 22:11
Hope you had a good weekend.
My fear (and that of my US friends) was/is that if he fails, the black population will feel that there is no hope for their world to be improved, and then what?
Sun 20th Sep 2009 21:46
Totally agree with the sentiments Nicky. A friend has said that he found it so (a few years ago anyway) that the birds really don't sing at the former concentration camps. Remarkable if true.
Comment is about Reign Of Terror (blog)
Sun 20th Sep 2009 21:36
Sorry I haven't commented before - been away with family in Glasgow. Totally agree with the sentiments. He's still walking that knife edge isn't he, and (more important) still alive!!!
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