Wed 15th Jul 2009 07:48
Hi Cate, good to see you in NB! Great news you're up for the gig at Wigan!! Excellent you're on, look forward to hearing you!! Jeff X
Comment is about Cate (Poet profile)
Original item by Cate
Wed 15th Jul 2009 00:44
Cheers for your comment Louise. When we going to see you perform some of your stuff?
Comment is about Louise Coulson (Poet profile)
Original item by Louise Coulson
Tue 14th Jul 2009 23:27
So nice of you to include Wigan on your list of sleazy cities! Put me down for a slot on Friday - I'll perform you my new poem - haven't posted it yet - it's hot off the press cos I want to do sound this time. Look forward to seeing you there.
Also - put Cate down for 3 songs on the 25th - I knew she's be persuaded - she's a born performer.
Comment is about Jeffarama! (Poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Tue 14th Jul 2009 22:29
I heard you announce this at Glasto and was shocked and saddened. My sympathy that you've lost a friend,
Swellsy, mate - thanks for the memories - many years of great writing. RIP.
Comment is about RIP Steven 'Seething' Wells (Blog entry)
Tue 14th Jul 2009 20:46
Powerful reading Michael, makes it all make sense.
Comment is about .................And I Say Unto Thee! (Blog entry)
Tue 14th Jul 2009 20:40
Mike your poetry is rawer than a camel's arse. Which is not to say it doesn't have some pretty potent lines. (Don't tell me you're Cheltenham's poet laureate). Ditch some of the obvious and stick to the imagery (the moon on a stick, it's roses that you poo, etc) I'm sure these go down well at open mics and gain with the performing. Who inspires your writing? Keep working at it.
Comment is about Skin and Blister (Blog entry)
Original item by Mike Anthony
Tue 14th Jul 2009 20:20
Hi Ric, great to hear from you mate and good to see you back hope the exams went well! What you been studying? It's a lot busier on WOL now so more to read, i put about one on every fortnight.
I've been dead busy too, you will see from my profile we are doing a poetry and acoustic tour, be good if you could make one of the dates, if you fancy any let me know, will put you on open mic, cheers Jeff
Comment is about Richard Brooks (Poet profile)
Original item by Richard Brooks
Tue 14th Jul 2009 19:47
You're my guru Dave, or should that be Guru Dev?
Comment is about Guru (Blog entry)
Original item by Dave Morgan
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Tue 14th Jul 2009 18:45
Francine, I had a terrible time with my first poem from Word Processor to Blog. (I may re-post it because it isn't how I wanted it) What I do now is: copy the poem from my processor page over to the designated space on WOL, hit EDIT, do any spacing/line/word adjustments I see immediately and then I hit UPDATE ENTRY and go to the top for BLOG. I THINK that's what I do. It seems to be working. Good luck. I really love your BIO.
Comment is about (Poet profile)
Tue 14th Jul 2009 18:26
I am a little spent... from too much school...
I meant biography... LOL
Comment is about Baz (Poet profile)
Original item by Baz
Tue 14th Jul 2009 17:57
Hi, thanks for the comment on my work.
I’ve not read the book but I’ll look into it.
I’ve seen some of you’re work on the site and especially liked ‘Dream Tied Up’,
Thought the imagery you brought out in the piece was fantastic.
Comment is about Marianne Daniels (Poet profile)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Tue 14th Jul 2009 17:31
Baz, top one at the Tudor last week, loved it.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 17:16
Hokey pokey Izz
This is the middle posting....
Thank you, you last 300,213 people for you kind comments.
Only another 600,425 to go.
As for my first, thanks Francine. Me too.
Dave Dunn aka Rhumour
Hi Andy - thanks for commenting :) I would say this is at the longer end of my spectrum, more book than performance poetry perhaps.
As for open mike, well that will have to wait a while as I'm waiting for some spinal surgery to get me mobile again first...
Comment is about GREY (Blog entry)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Tue 14th Jul 2009 16:36
lot going on in this poem, dave.. i like it but i think it is possibly a bit too long in places for my taste, and i write long long poems sometimes...
have you tried reading this out at a open mike yet or something? It may give you more of a idea then...
Tue 14th Jul 2009 16:35
very sad, but I like the beat you have created in this.. i write stuff like this with the use of the beat sometimes - i like the way you develop this with the use of the i's.. it may prove worthwhile in future to play round with them more to see how you can change the beat a little, but i am impressed with it still.. keep it up!
Comment is about You (Blog entry)
Original item by Rachel Eley
Tue 14th Jul 2009 16:33
interesting stuff.. need to re-read this a few times as on the first two reads - i get the feeling i have missed something, but i like it!
Comment is about Te decet hymnus Deus (Blog entry)
Tue 14th Jul 2009 16:32
Love the twist, Janet - I took it the other way that everybody else did I think in the sense of it is a bad relationship.. Loved it still!
Comment is about Comfort Zone. (Blog entry)
Tue 14th Jul 2009 16:29
a much softer poem for you, Pete.. I've got tons like this too, m8.. I would never throw them away! I loved it!
Comment is about lonely (Blog entry)
Tue 14th Jul 2009 16:21
nice ending in particular - Cynthia... Really enjoyed this piece...
Comment is about The Piano Concerto (Blog entry)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Tue 14th Jul 2009 15:08
This is a beaut. The mood of quietness and reflection it creates perfectly reflects the experience of aloneness. The reader feels the dilemma of the lonely and is coaxed gently into identifying. That's an uncomfortable one because it's all of us sometimes if we're honest. I'm saying that after a 4-day social whirl personally but it's true nevertheless - just hard to admit.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 14:09
Hi Jeff! How are things? I can't believe its been this long since I was on WOL. Been so busy the last year with my degree but graduated now so will be trying to catch up on peoples work.
Drop me a line Jeff. Hope your well.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 13:51
Love your bibliography Baz : )
Tue 14th Jul 2009 12:51
Don't know what to say but I have to say something else I would be ignoring it, which I can't do. Sometimes commentary seems trite. If a poem gets to me emotionally, I don't see the nuances of how it can be changed/improved - I just get lost in the feelings. That is not to criticise those who do - we need more objective people around else we'd all be very samey.
I love the poem - the imagery is just so different. Glad you explained the ending - I wouldn't have known you were talking about a person - I thought you meant the acceptance of being on your own. The alternative meaning makes the poem much more uplifting.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 12:33
About bloody time Baz. You do make me laugh so I'm looking forward to all your postings.
Marianne Louise Daniels
Tue 14th Jul 2009 12:24
Brilliant!!! Makes me want to walk around stamping my feet, crying "Yes!" and also a few swear words... well done! Really got under my skin.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 11:29
Thanks for you comments I'm glad you liked it.
Comment is about This be the Verse..if Larkin's parents had given him more bedtime cuddles (Blog entry)
Original item by Mark Niel
Tue 14th Jul 2009 10:49
No Darren, its not a poem that I get defensive about this one, so Im up for any suggestions and reworks. Sometimes if you step out of yorself and allow it to opne up as long as you stay true to the core emotion and what you feel passionate about then you can improve on it. I used to get all defensive upon critique but I think you have to go thru that to develop a confidence in yourself that can dispel the feeling of 'leave my poem alone!' if you dont open up you cant progress, I welcome and fully engage with your critique.
I am not complacent nor assured that im perfect, none of us are, if you write to be read then the most valid thing is what the reader says.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 10:24
NO! Don't ever throw pieces like this away Pete.
It's like throwing away quality paint which keeps for years in the right conditions.
Assuming that MOST people understand the difference is sometimes not the best thing to do.
If this piece is up for edit - I'll email you with how I think a nuance in some clauses could strengthen it?
Either that or you can tell me to 'KOFF'. Like somebody else has already done this morning.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 10:10
well im not sure if it worked but the ending is when a new person arrives. They suddenly burst into the persons life, and it needs to be taken slow as theres a lot of build up to remove, layers etc. Thats why I put 'usher in gentle'
however it could be that 'usher in gentle' is the reverse of this. depends how you read it.
The thing is I usually throw these types of poems away, got a box full
Tue 14th Jul 2009 10:04
Darren yes you are correct and I wrote this almost to throw myself off balance, or should I say to wake myself up, or to challenge myself. It is an attempt. Im real happy to listen to your critique and I actually wrote it with a critique session in mind as I felt that it begins to be something then my lack of writing skill (in term sof academic) just lets it down. Im believe i have th emotion angle covered and its a case of tutoring, this is where lessons and workshops help. I am prepared to edi this one etc.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 08:59
How true,what we all need and want are more hugs and kisses. Good
Tue 14th Jul 2009 08:57
Great image Peter,a sad reflection for so many. Good poem, very good Peter
Tue 14th Jul 2009 08:32
You're writing some good stuff, it seems, at the moment.
I don't agree with Darren that you need to reinforce the difference between loneliness and alone - I think most people already understand the two are not the same, and if they don't ... they're probably not going to get the rest of the poem anyway.
Et je suis d'accord avec Francine!
Tue 14th Jul 2009 08:27
Comment is about Old Photographs (Blog entry)
Tue 14th Jul 2009 08:26
Tue 14th Jul 2009 07:36
Pete - this is good. Introspection is alive and well. Hope the foot isn't troubling you too much.
I'm not sure though if you're trying to personify something or if the piece is an attempt at concrete poetry. On my PC, the layout of the text has the look of a faucet. If I squint harshly.
I'd be tempted to include the word 'alone' in there too. Near the end. Bit of a twist, say...
'now you have arrived alone' OR
'as you arrive all alone'.
This may help to reinforce the difference between the two emotive states. Which is huge.
See ya soon.
Tue 14th Jul 2009 06:26
Nice tribute to a brilliant musician/singer/songwriter
who touched many...
Comment is about Tribute to John (Blog entry)
Tue 14th Jul 2009 06:06
Beautifully written... as always.
Je suis tellement contente que tu as décidé de partager ton talent - tes poèmes de nouveau : )
Mon 13th Jul 2009 23:58
Love it Mark - the humour and also the celebration of the positive.
Mon 13th Jul 2009 23:34
Hi Francine - thanks for commenting about 'Become a little sage' - your mention of Lennon prompted me to look out and post a tribute to John written last year - best wishes, Dave
Julie Rose Clark
Mon 13th Jul 2009 21:00
lovely poem! I like it a lot, a lot , a lot! thank you
Mon 13th Jul 2009 18:48
Thanks Dermot. Think I may do a couple at the next Wigan!
Comment is about Summer (Blog entry)
Mon 13th Jul 2009 18:08
wouldn't scan - besides, it's more a kind of not being able to feel that sleepy thing than not being able to find sleep itself.
Comment is about Some days, I am comforted by quietly despairing (Blog entry)
Original item by Dermot Glennon
Mon 13th Jul 2009 17:56
Beautiful words for a horrific subject. Excellent.
Comment is about And We Have Milk for Garden (Blog entry)