Charles Bane, Jr

Mon 7th Oct 2013 12:10

I love this poem's force, but would have ended at "but not this time".

Comment is about Lydia (Poet profile)

Original item by Lydia

Sunrise

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 10:41

touching thing

Comment is about For my love i live. (blog)

Original item by sash

Sunrise

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 10:32

the sea mood is clearly felt here

Comment is about Coasts (blog)

Original item by Tom

sash

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 10:29

thank you vry mch...appreciate ur reading :)

Comment is about For my love i live. (blog)

Original item by sash

terry ireland

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 09:20

Thanks Ged

Comment is about Just Passing Water (blog)

Original item by terry ireland

steve pottinger

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 08:59

This was published by Poetry24 this morning. My thanks to them.

Comment is about Lampedusa (blog)

Original item by steve pottinger

Mark Mr T Thompson

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 06:07

Thanks gents, neither gentle nor subtle in my regular modus operandi. But I'm working on it!

Comment is about Your dawn chorus (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

Greg Freeman

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 06:02

I'm probably the wrong person to ask for critical feedback, Satyajit. I will admit that I'm not very good at receiving it myself, and so I hesitate to hand it out. Recently I had a small poem published in a magazine, but before it went in, the editor wrote to me suggesting a number of changes, to almost every line. She did not insist on them and I said No to most. But some I agreed to, because I felt they were an improvement. Even so, when it appeared in the magazine, it did not feel quite like my poem anymore.
What I would say is this: look at every word in your poem, and ask yourself, does it add to the meaning? Or is it being lazy? If you took it out, would doing that actually improve the poem? We can all usually find words like that in our poems, that aren't doing any work in the poem or helping its meaning, if we go back and look again a few days after writing them. Good luck!

Comment is about SATYAJIT BEHERA (Poet profile)

Original item by SATYAJIT BEHERA

Ged Thompson

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 02:38

Brill

Comment is about Art House (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Ged Thompson

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 02:37

I liked this,

Comment is about Another Boring Poetry Night (blog)

Original item by Cayn White

Ged Thompson

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 02:31

About sums it up that mate

I agree,

Comment is about Just Passing Water (blog)

Original item by terry ireland

Ged Thompson

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 02:19

I liked this, well done

Its very subtle while still being meaningful,

Good work

Comment is about Your dawn chorus (blog)

Original item by Mark Mr T Thompson

Ged Thompson

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 02:11

As always Laura, brilliant!

Some people write how they want others to think they feel and some write about how they really feel. This comes through in all the work of yours I have ever viewed. I totally agree with the sentiment and reading it I felt a little guilty I had not attended......OH GOD!!!! Just realised something!!!!....What it reminded me of.. St Crispins Day speach, Shakespeare...let me find the bit that it reminds me of......

'This story shall the good man teach his son;
And Crispin Crispian shall ne'er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remember'd;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon Saint Crispin's day.'

Is it just me??? or does the accent of Laura's poem echo the accent of this work by Billy Shakey?????

Anyway I'm going on a bit but i love this poem and love your style.

Comment is about Assembly (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Ged Thompson

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 01:52

Sounds like a pretty col place to be!

Comment is about Naked angel (blog)

Original item by Danny Metcalfe

Mr Dean Carroll

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 00:41

Thanks for reading my poem, much appreciated.

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tracey bucknell

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Mon 7th Oct 2013 00:01

lol jeff :) i can always laugh at myself , there's lots to laugh at lol ;) xxxx
i'm glad it gave you a giggle :) XXX

Comment is about P.M.T (blog)

Original item by Tracey bucknell

tracey bucknell

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 23:58

laughing my head off lady ha ha :)
we ladies are definatley an oxymoron harry lol :) thank you for your comments, i'm so pleased you like it :) and giving me a giggle :)

Comment is about P.M.T (blog)

Original item by Tracey bucknell

tracey bucknell

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 23:55

thanks andy :) it's one for performimg i think one day xx

Comment is about Forgotten (blog)

Original item by Tracey bucknell

tracey bucknell

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 23:54

thank you lynn, i'm glad you enjoye it :)

Comment is about Forgotten (blog)

Original item by Tracey bucknell

Lynn Dye

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 22:40

I agree, this is top stuff, Solar. xx

Comment is about Arousal (blog)

Original item by Solar

Lynn Dye

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 22:38

I enjoyed this, Tracey, good stuff.

Comment is about Forgotten (blog)

Original item by Tracey bucknell

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 22:14

enjoyed!xx

Comment is about URBAN LULLABY (blog)

Original item by David Subacchi

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 22:12

And we also will not experience birthdays in the same way anymore-ha!xx

Comment is about unhappy worst day to me (blog)

Original item by Solar

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 22:10

top stuff.xx

Comment is about Arousal (blog)

Original item by Solar

David Subacchi

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 21:43

You can find more of my poetry including some videos by searching on line for SUBACCHI + POET.

Comment is about URBAN LULLABY (blog)

Original item by David Subacchi

Patricia &Stefan wilde

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 21:43

gloves are off for now Solar(thanks)I cant wear them when I need to brandish my rolling pin!xx

Comment is about Doing the rounds (blog)

Original item by Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Charles Bane, Jr

Sun 6th Oct 2013 21:27

Thank you, Dave; all best.

Comment is about (Poet profile)

Dave Bradley

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 20:36

Good review. Wish I could have been there. Well done Joy for having a go - you must have been good value. Don't be shy about advertising the next one.

Comment is about She's having a ball: rising poetry star breaks out into comedy (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

Dave Bradley

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 20:33

Thank you Charles. I do like "At the Observatory". - the way that thoughts and images tumble around as one considers 'big stuff'.

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Francine

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 17:50

Great review, Isobel. Have read some of her poetry over the years - will have to look up the 'Balls' one, if still available, though it does sound familiar...

Comment is about She's having a ball: rising poetry star breaks out into comedy (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

satyajit behera

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 16:57

thank u...charles sir

Comment is about SATYAJIT BEHERA (Poet profile)

Original item by SATYAJIT BEHERA

Charles Bane, Jr

Sun 6th Oct 2013 16:56

In heaven, Will smiles.

Comment is about How do I love thee? (blog)

Original item by Julian Jordon

Charles Bane, Jr

Sun 6th Oct 2013 16:54

Fine work.

Comment is about SATYAJIT BEHERA (Poet profile)

Original item by SATYAJIT BEHERA

satyajit behera

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 16:24

thanks sir...i owe your advise to join this site...
and i will be grateful if you can point any of my mistakes...so dat i can develope

Comment is about SATYAJIT BEHERA (Poet profile)

Original item by SATYAJIT BEHERA

Charles Bane, Jr

Sun 6th Oct 2013 14:52

Very beautiful.

Comment is about For my love i live. (blog)

Original item by sash

Greg Freeman

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 13:33

Welcome to Write Out Loud, Satyajit! I enjoyed your poem, and the moment your eyes met while you were writing about her.

Comment is about SATYAJIT BEHERA (Poet profile)

Original item by SATYAJIT BEHERA

Charles Bane, Jr

Sun 6th Oct 2013 12:34

Many thanks, Claire. "Quake South Island" reminded me very much of Elizabeth Bishop's "Crusoe In England", my favorite poem-- except for everything Yeats wrote. ;)

Comment is about (Poet profile)

Claire Booker

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 12:07

Thank you for you generous enjoyment of my poem 'Quake - South Island.' I'm really moved by your Observatory poem - the night sky and its magnificence come across brilliantly. I particularly love the line 'watermills of galaxies' (among others!).

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Greg Freeman

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 09:41

Thanks for your comment, MC. Another remarkable thing about the Poetry Library is that they don't charge for overdue books, a fact that John Hegley refers to in his poem. But, as he also points out in the same poem, this is not a concession to be taken advantage of!

Comment is about Behind the scenes at the Poetry Library (article)

Original item by Greg Freeman

paulatan

Sun 6th Oct 2013 09:36

Your poetry is beautiful! (I really mean it). Please visit my blog www.applecherrypipz.wordpress.com and leave a comment too!I have a poetry recital there by the way.

Comment is about Forgiveness (blog)

Original item by Joseph J. Breunig 3rd

nick armbrister

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Sun 6th Oct 2013 01:31

yes, it is. im surprised the guy got a jump jet as the yanks have our retired 1s to use as spares/replacements for the us marine harrier jump jets. unless his is a different version. id love to see him take off vertical and screw the neighbours lol.

Comment is about Dawn Demure (blog)

Original item by nick armbrister

Lynn Dye

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Sat 5th Oct 2013 23:20

Wonderful stuff, Laura, love the poem. A girl after my own heart, wish I had been there. I agree with all your comments too! :-)

Comment is about Assembly (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Lynn Dye

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Sat 5th Oct 2013 23:05

Good points. I find it sad that 50,000 strong does not get the coverage it deserves. Well said.

Comment is about Regarding the BBC's lack of coverage... (blog)

Original item by Gray Nicholls

Bill Kelly

Sat 5th Oct 2013 22:40

Excellent - that what poetry is about -the truth.
It's no coincidence that Lord Patten, the current head of the BBC has direct links to a company heavily involved in private healthcare.

He is a member of the European Advisory Board for a private equity investment company called Bridgepoint.

Most of the politicians in the Tory Party have links to a myriad of companies which are currently ripping our NHS to shreds.

Comment is about Regarding the BBC's lack of coverage... (blog)

Original item by Gray Nicholls

Laura Taylor

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Sat 5th Oct 2013 18:28

This is fantastic Ian. There's a big shocking eeriness about it, and it's written so well. Love the anthropomorphism device. I was thinking about something very similar recently and got put off cos Bob reckoned Keats had already been there, heh ;D

Comment is about Winterfylleth (October) (blog)

Original item by Ian Whiteley

Laura Taylor

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Sat 5th Oct 2013 18:23

Hi Harry

Nice snapshot there :) Love the ‘magnificently rebellious young militants’ line. There’s a poem in there, surely? ;)

I’m all for meaningful education, but how will we know if it IS meaningful, and what form it will take? Also, if it is forced, then there are consequences to this, same as the forced attendance of job centres between 9 - 5 idea.

Did you hear that IDS would not confirm if people who were placed on these schemes would be able to claim travel costs? The justification for this is that most job centres are within easy reach, apparently. Ours alone is a 40 minute walk, each way. Given that public transport costs have rocketed, the only alternative is walking. There's no 'spare money' in your dole to pay for travel. So that’s 80 minutes of walking, 5 days a week, rain or shine, snow or ice, for people who are not eating well, and not able to afford to heat their homes, or buy new clothes or decent shoes. Christ, we are so close to conditions outlined in the Ragged Trousered Philanthropist it scares me to death. We are going backwards at a rate of knots that should scare the crap out of everyone. But so many people can’t or won’t see that, and that not only confuses me, it angers me.

You’ll not see me defend New Labour on their policies, Harry. But let’s not forget that it was Thatcher’s deregulation of the banks that really set this process in train. The financial collapse can be directly shown to be a consequence of that deregulation.

You’re bang on re the ‘help to buy’ scheme. Pretty much all financial ‘experts’ predict disaster. What is so worrying about this present government is that they appear to be operating under a dangerous delusion. Or a big fat lie designed to break the state and keep all their buddies rich. One of those.

Yep – they were the guys who created this situation. We pay and pay, exist on less and less, and meanwhile the ‘wealth creators’ create wealth only for themselves.

Comment is about Assembly (blog)

Original item by Laura Taylor

Charles Bane, Jr

Sat 5th Oct 2013 17:22

Loved " Woman", and its heartbreaking last line.

Comment is about Paulyn Lloyd (Poet profile)

Original item by Paulyn Lloyd

M.C. Newberry

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Sat 5th Oct 2013 17:03

JC - I hope your commitment rewards you in due
course - and that you "coin it" with any sale
of your collection in the future.
I used to collect stamps in the distant days of
Empire - with those brightly coloured scenes
to fill the pages from SO many different lands.
When he was with the Army in Germany, my brother brought back an immaculate loose-leaf
collection - between red leather covers - of
stamps depicting the Nazi days (many of Hitler
himself). I swopped it at school for something or other (as kids often do), but I sometimes
wonder about their value today. Or perhaps
they were like the Russian stamps...produced
in millions and of no real value to a proper collector? I'll never know.

Comment is about I Collect Money (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

Charles Bane, Jr

Sat 5th Oct 2013 16:58

Like this poem, and its truthfulness, very much.

Comment is about Edie Hope (Poet profile)

Original item by Edie Hope

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