Fri 14th Nov 2008 16:42
Comment is about Rodney Wood (Poet profile)
Original item by Rodney Wood
Fri 14th Nov 2008 13:12
I enjoyed this despite the obvious fact John's read nothing witeen after the nineteenth century.
Comment is about The Piano Plays (blog)
Original item by John Boyle
Fri 14th Nov 2008 13:06
It's like wandering around lost in the mist. I've no idea about these generalities you mention - spirit, hurtingand winds of change. Raymond Carver said "the best art has its reference points in real life"
Comment is about Feel (blog)
Fri 14th Nov 2008 13:02
Like the poem and the photo!
Comment is about Advice on dying (blog)
Fri 14th Nov 2008 12:58
Thanks for sharing this. In my first slam I was knocked out three times. You juyst have to learn and keep on.
Comment is about London Performances (blog)
Original item by Alain English
Fri 14th Nov 2008 12:53
Just a few things. Line 1 should be wandering, line 2 there is only one Amazonian rain forest, line 3 should be forest, line 5 what do you mean by civilization? Who else is there to understand it? I'd better leave it there except to say God has no place in the poem.
Comment is about AMAZON RAINFOREST (blog)
Original item by Zuzanna Musial
Thu 13th Nov 2008 21:24
Excellent write. It shows the deep thoughts and feelings in your mind and poured on the page right in front of me. WELL DONE!!
Comment is about Kingdom of Solitude (blog)
Thu 13th Nov 2008 21:23
John ~ The poem is very creative and well written. You have a natural talent with words. This is a lovely and adorable write to read. Thank you for sharing.
See you again... Zuzanna
Thu 13th Nov 2008 21:16
Hello dear Shirley
Sorry that you are GONE. You are certainly missed. Hope all is well. My email is:firstname.lastname@example.org
Feel free to keep in touch....Missing your work...Zuzanna
Comment is about (blog)
Thu 13th Nov 2008 21:12
Dear friend Clarissa
Thank you so much for your time to comment on my poem. With sincere appreciation.
Thu 13th Nov 2008 21:05
Hi, Antonio !
This is thought provoking poem. Yes it is! You have given so many options to one soul. How to die? I am sure no one can really tell how the end will come to any of us. It is quite unknown. Love the picture of the Eiffel. My sister live there not to far from that place. Loved the visit in Paris and will be flying there some day again.
Thank you for sharing your lovely writing.
Also THANK YOU for the comment on my last vivid poem, the Amazon Rainforest.'
Appreciate your time to read and commenting.
Thu 13th Nov 2008 20:56
Thank you so much for your great comment!!
It was a dream that I need to fulfill. Only in my words.. :) I would go there with the guide, alone would be too scary!
Thu 13th Nov 2008 20:55
Hi Sez - How ya doin?
Good to hear from you and thanx for the comment on 'I know you're there' Glad you like it. I have performed it a couple of times and it's gone down well..
Have you been writing? I'm off to Lisbon for a couple for days so hoping for some inspiration!
Take care and hope to see more of your work soon, Jeff X
Comment is about Sarah Clark (Poet profile)
Original item by Sarah Clark
Thu 13th Nov 2008 16:19
Thats how I lost my hair Val!
Comment is about Valerie Cook (Poet profile)
Original item by Valerie Cook
Thu 13th Nov 2008 15:13
It's good. Yet another good poem, Mel. It's very well paced and your use of repetition is subtle and effective. Following the repetition with the line -
"and the dead fish" seems like a bit of an anti-climax, but I think it serves as really good hook (no pun intended). It's very grounded - repetition done badly can lead to some grand 'and here's the statement of the poem' - you've totally avoided that. It reads like a very authentic poem.
"seven dark continents etched on his olive skin" - is also a blinder of a line. Love it.
However... "half the world away" is a cliche. Sorry, but it is. And it's a shame to have something as superfluous as that at the beginning of such a good poem. Personally, I'd get rid of that line. I don't think you need it - and the poem would be better for its omission.
Having a cliche at the beginning of your poem may discourage a new reader from reading the rest of it - which would be a shame.
Don't hate me. It's tough love. ;-)
And not a swear word in sight!
Oh, hold on...
Comment is about Melanie (Poet profile)
Original item by Melanie
Thu 13th Nov 2008 06:15
hi antonionioni (is that enough oni )
I have read this a good few times since you posted it. the poem and the following comment by carol ( hi carol )which shows up the startling differences in folks' hopes and beliefs , i was reassured and uplifted by
'dreaming of life preserved in grains of sand'
Wed 12th Nov 2008 14:43
Thanks for the note. Good to find you around here... And hopefully we'll coincide in person again soon...
Comment is about Alain English (Poet profile)
Wed 12th Nov 2008 12:22
Thanks for sharing that with us all, Alain. Informative and reassuring too.
Wed 12th Nov 2008 11:29
Thanks for this interesting article on your experiences in the London Poetry Scene Alain.
If you ever get "Up North" drop by Bolton and we will make you very welcome at one of our WOL Nights.
Wed 12th Nov 2008 08:22
Thanks for this appreciation. Enjoyed writing 'Uses of Summer' and reading it out. But editors of magazines find it too risque!
Comment is about David Andrew (Poet profile)
Original item by David Andrew
Wed 12th Nov 2008 03:03
Very nice writting here, I have enjoyed all of your writtings, that you have posted. thanks!
Comment is about I (blog)
Wed 12th Nov 2008 00:57
Thank you for this detailed and fun review of the London performance poetry scene. Im very interested in hooking up and doing some open mic stuff down there in London. I love going for weekends in London and used to frequent the bars and clubs on the 'britpop' / indie music scene back in mid to late nineties. I enjoy being in London on short weekend breaks and have found your review a great guide to getting into the scene in London. Im making plans now to travel down and check it all out. Let me know a little more of where you plan to go soon and I'll see if I can hook up, share a drink / poetry chat etc.
Tue 11th Nov 2008 18:04
HI Zuzanna, Nice poem, I enjoy reading it very much.
Tue 11th Nov 2008 18:01
HI Melissa, Nice poem.
Tue 11th Nov 2008 17:57
Nice poem, very true words.
Comment is about conquer yourself rather than the world (blog)
Original item by Daniel Hooks
Tue 11th Nov 2008 16:49
Love the poem, a brilliant portrayal of those "time-saving" devices :)
And im wondering what the gloves could be for...
Comment is about self scan (blog)
Tue 11th Nov 2008 16:25
powerful poem I wrote a poem about homelessness myself its called I am a brother let me know if you like to read it and I will send you the link!
Comment is about Spare Filth (blog)
Original item by Steve O'Connor
Tue 11th Nov 2008 16:22
insanity is impossible to define but Iam writng from experience thanks clarissa!
Comment is about how do you define insanity (blog)
Tue 11th Nov 2008 13:07
Thank you very much for your comments about my Dad poem.
Ta very much for picking me up on my spelling too, I'm a bit lazy like that sometimes, oops.
Thank you for the feedback again.
And No, you can't come to Japan, sorry mate !! :)
Comment is about Steve O'Connor (Poet profile)
Tue 11th Nov 2008 13:04
Hi Steve and Antonionioni. Thank you both very much for the comments about my poem.
I know, I know, I should know better about the spelling, oops.
I'm an English teacher, ahhh, so a bit worrying eh?
Oh well, we can't be perfect all of the time :)).
Thank you again. I really like the poem, and I tried really hard to capture the image and essence of my dad in a few lines.
PS, Steve, you can't come to Japan, sorry, I have have enough room at the Inn for little old me :))
Comment is about Dad (blog)
Original item by Belinda
Tue 11th Nov 2008 09:36
Steve n John, cheers.
Steve O connor - err i'll come clean about the KY
Tue 11th Nov 2008 09:14
Really funny and a perfect example of how the brain begins to wander when in the local hypermarket!
I myself for example find that I start to think about possible methods of strangulation when stuck behind a queue of people taking an unneccessarily long time at the ATM machine in these places.(Could be another poem there!)
Tue 11th Nov 2008 09:07
Loved this!,especially the "human toasters" bit and the memories it stirs!
Brings to mind all those trips tp Blackpool as a kid.
Comment is about Fairground (blog)
Tue 11th Nov 2008 08:58
There's no part of this poem that isn't completely true is there, Pete?
Tue 11th Nov 2008 08:48
Can I come to Japan, please? I hate my job, and it's cold and rainy here! ;)
Anyway, pedant that I am - I'm pretty sure it's spelled "moccasins". I know, I know... being picky about spelling. My shame knows no limits.
I really like this poem. I like the image it presents. It feels like a very warm poem. I particularly enjoyed your use of the words "slurp" and "chunky".
I don't know why, but there's a very familiar autumnal feel to this poem.
Yep. Liked it!
(PS - Can I come to Japan?)
Tue 11th Nov 2008 00:02
Hi Antonioni, this is deep and thought provoking.
I like it very much. Nothing lasts forever and
I hope there is more to life than those grains of sand.
Mon 10th Nov 2008 21:57
Don't do it!!
Hi A - good to see you back mate, great stuff and thanx for coming to Bands 4 Babies was a great night!
cheers MC Jeffarama!
Mon 10th Nov 2008 21:50
Hi Vicky, like this (as you know), you've covered a massive subject in a few lines, some good ones at that!
As you can imagine, I like the dark side of this, you've painted a wonderfully grim picture, good stuff.
Right, just going to put some Joy Division on! Jeffarama! X
Comment is about Man`s Folly (blog)
Original item by vixichick
Mon 10th Nov 2008 16:56
David, really enjoyed reading your stuff, particularly 'the uses of summer' - evocative, neatly written and amusing.
Mon 10th Nov 2008 16:22
i love your poem - I know you're there
i think that would sound brilliant read out loud
its got a great rhythm
Comment is about Jeffarama! (Poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Mon 10th Nov 2008 01:48
I like this poem. As for the question, I dont know. If hearing voices is bad, well count me in. If seeing things is bad, count me in. I agree that in some casees you cant define it.Im against violence, however if pushed and hurt, Ill strike back if possible.It could be that those of us that have heard voices, and seen things others cant, well we just may be special and right, and the others blind. take care.
Sun 9th Nov 2008 22:27
thats good for eight years old. I dont like snakes, and almost did not read this. good little snake poem!
Comment is about Snake Poem by Elise (blog)
Original item by Andy N
Sun 9th Nov 2008 22:16
Gritty subject matter well conveyed.
Comment is about Tomás Ó Cárthaigh (Poet profile)
Original item by Tomás Ó Cárthaigh
Sun 9th Nov 2008 21:22
oy oy Jeff
Yes I agree a capital W would benefit. Bang on the money my man.
Bruce Forsythe toupee mower...- Now then.
what have we here?
this is an example of stream of thought, just the immediate words that spring to mind.
I would say that the girl appeals to all levels as she is so sexual in her way, so attractive and fiery. Bruce was known for his leggy gorgeous girls and I thought yes, they would slay him, lap him up and kinda devour him, the blades of sexuality reach all spaces and cut.
they may wish to bring him down to earth, hence the cutting of grass, the toupee like a grass clump on someone's head if fitted bad, she just mows it off.
Comment is about Catherine wheel (blog)
Sun 9th Nov 2008 21:17
Pete, fantastic mate, as ever I would love your ability to look at the extreme perverse side of things as you do!
You could do this as a comedy sketch, for now I will look forward to see you at the self scam checkout in action!
Sun 9th Nov 2008 21:09
Great stuff Pete, one for the stage, love the way you exagerate the numbers like in White Goods, or maybe you're not exaggerating!!
Comment is about not allowed to smile (blog)
Sun 9th Nov 2008 21:03
A Bruce Forsythe toupee mower? Not heard that one before, sounds interesting, you can tell me more when I see you!
Enjoyed this mate, just one thing should it be a capital W on wheel? sorry to be pedantic but if you mean it to be her name, of course I might have got it wrong! cheers Jeff
Sun 9th Nov 2008 21:01
thank you very much for reading and taking time to pass comment on this radiation poem Clarissa.
Comment is about Studies in Pripyet (blog)
Sun 9th Nov 2008 20:54
'liver must be punished' bloody brilliant poem
Comment is about Mia Darlone (Poet profile)
Original item by Mia Darlone
Sun 9th Nov 2008 18:43
pete , you forgot the raspberries , can you just call back .......
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