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steve mellor

Thu 15th Oct 2009 12:07

I thought there were enough angst-filled love poems around

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Le Vampire

Thu 15th Oct 2009 12:04

haha! LOVED a summary of T. Hughes' poetry! great stuff! And thanks for your comment, really made me laugh! xx

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 15th Oct 2009 11:49

You walk in poetry, sometimes, on a different planet from most of us. Many people wilfully refrain from 'philosophy', and thus exist only half filled with life. I do not find any expression of spirituality adversarial to philosophy. Religion is a different matter.

This was written years ago when I was very young, maybe 20.

The Sage

Why do you lament, fair maiden?
I mourn the loss of my innocence, sir.

You have forfeited your chastity, my dear?
Ah, no, sir, that is of little importance to me.

What other innocence is there
To cause such grief, my child?

I can now see, sir.
The dead live all about me.


Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Original item by michael shepherd

Janet

Thu 15th Oct 2009 11:47

Hello to all at Brass.
I wish you all well with this wonderful project and the poetry i've read thus far has a beauty in the sentiments portrayed. I don't pretend to understand any of the cultural differences but i'm always open to try. At the end of every day we are all human and humanity is vital for our progression through life. :-)

Good luck and as they say, keep writing.

Janet.x

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BRASS

Thu 15th Oct 2009 11:43

Thank you for your help,we appreciate your visits to us at BRASS . We hope to see you on Sunday at Howcroft Inn . Kind wishs to you, Kinda, Aziza and Che.

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Janet

Thu 15th Oct 2009 11:37

Sad truth in this poem but i like the rhythm.

Janet.

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Original item by Spencer Robertshaw - 07703 558825

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Thu 15th Oct 2009 11:33

Viruses aren't usually considered healthy. I do wonder if this is possibly 'tongue-in-cheek'. It's the little things that make a poem really embracing to its readers, and you covered so many- very honestly, but tenderly too. For some people, the 'first love' experience colours all other relationships with ensuing partners, for better or worse, like 'a virus' in a clearly negative sense.. It's a great topic, skillfully executed.

Comment is about Dormant Virus (blog)

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Chris Dawson

Thu 15th Oct 2009 11:13

I think I missed this one first time round, excellent stuff!
Cx

Comment is about The Parting (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Janet

Thu 15th Oct 2009 11:11

Nice tribute Tommy.

Janet.

Comment is about Various poems and replies from others in thier style- a thank you! (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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juneslater@talktalk.net

Thu 15th Oct 2009 08:36

I truely have a wonderful son with a heart as big as the world, made me think back 20 years too, wish I could turn back the clock, lovley poem Peter, love you xxxxxx

Comment is about Dormant Virus (blog)

Bill Kelly

Thu 15th Oct 2009 08:23

Thank you for your comment Cynthia.
I find it such an irony that Bamburgh Castle was 'restored' using money gained from arms sales, and that there is a war memorial below the castle.

I think it is a measure of how low we have sunk as a society, when a major British arms dealer is running schools all over Britain under the cover of being a 'registered charity'.

So much for the chances of our children living in peace !

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Gus Jonsson

Wed 14th Oct 2009 17:54


Hi Tommy

Thanks 4 listening...me cummin at u...

Gus

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spencer

Wed 14th Oct 2009 16:30

Windows is great, I have a few in a similar vein or would that be pane.
Anyway it's sharp and funny. I like it.

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Julian (Admin)

Wed 14th Oct 2009 15:39

Brilliant work, Nicky. It was lovely to see the enthusiasm you generated in the students by encouraging them to write poems in their own language then working together on creating an English version.
Well done to you all at BRASS

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Wed 14th Oct 2009 13:01

John, as near as I can figure, the definition of what is poetry is now very broad, and your work so far posted certainly qualifies. You definitely have 'the feel'.

I do think attention to the entire background of poetic skills is essential, the same points which came up in your GCSE courses: a wide vocabulary for selective diction, the varied methods for acquiring vivid imagery and of sound, the colours of mood, and the overall effect of tone. If you don't know where you're going with a poem - stop. Or, if you digress - stop - and go back and find your direction again. Perhaps you need another poem, or six. Don't waffle. It's not fair to your reader.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, look it up. It's really important if you are really sincere.

Alvin's comment is excellent: it follows through with what I think is your intent: exclusivity.

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spencer

Wed 14th Oct 2009 12:15

Isn't that the truth.

Comment is about Losing Time (blog)

Original item by Jessie

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Jessie Alpal

Wed 14th Oct 2009 10:46

Thank you for the encouragement!

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Jessie Alpal

Wed 14th Oct 2009 10:45

Hi cynthia, thank you for the comments.
I see what you mean about science and poetry both being about discovery, unfortunately the science side of thing has lost any sense of discovery at the moment due to the dreaded exams causing me to have to keep dredging up and trying to memorise the same old facts!
I really appreciate how you dont just give me a little comment of encouragement, but provide constructive criticism i can work on.
Jessie.

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andy n

Wed 14th Oct 2009 08:11

Nice revision, Jess.

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spencer

Wed 14th Oct 2009 05:29

I like this, it is a good and interesting account of something which only a poet's eyes can see.

Comment is about skipping meals on the commuter run (blog)

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spencer

Wed 14th Oct 2009 05:21

This is a real head spinner , I get into the poem and then it takes me off in another direction. I like it , it could send you bonkers trying to justify a full meaning and be happy you had done so - it has a lot going on.

Comment is about point this way (blog)

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winston plowes

Wed 14th Oct 2009 01:07

Hi Gus
good job on the stalker poem. Ihave mininised it further. Perarse to far! interesting exercise. Win x



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Original item by Gus Jonsson

Salfordian

Wed 14th Oct 2009 01:03

The 'Realm' is referring to my world basically. How during these months I shut my self off. The last part of the poem refers to the loss of my Grandad, how I didn't get to say goodbye and repay him for his kindness. Finally, I talk about how people in a similar situation just give up and throw the towel in. Thanks for reading.

Comment is about Second Class Citizen (blog)

Original item by Jason Jones

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Tommy Carroll

Tue 13th Oct 2009 22:00

sad, very sad.

Comment is about the book of hearts (blog)

Emily Josephine McPhillips

Tue 13th Oct 2009 21:53

oh i like this. i'm a big fan of the word 'converge' it and 'merge' are two of my favourites. i love that sound.

Comment is about Six-fifteen on a Rainy Evening (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Emily Josephine McPhillips

Tue 13th Oct 2009 21:52

a zoetrope is kind of like one of those flick book animations. they are wonderful things. if you google image search the word lots of wonderful pictures come up. i'm glad you liked the poem :)

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winston plowes

Tue 13th Oct 2009 21:30

Opps it apears I am rather late on this particular grisly anniversary. Phew, just as well lol

Comment is about Death in Paris (blog)

Original item by Malpoet

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winston plowes

Tue 13th Oct 2009 21:20

I think we need to stick to Malcom's poem here as I for one am not looking forward to everthing being dragged up again in the media...
Great little comment in this poem Malcom. blended the horror and the glamour and thought 'They framed a mother's end.' particularly apt. My favourite aspect however was the end which trailed away in length and ended with an unexpected flash (Rather like their lives). Win x

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Tommy Carroll

Tue 13th Oct 2009 20:37

She and Him invited their 'persuers to the chase...Horrid people infront, awful people behind.

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Tommy Carroll

Tue 13th Oct 2009 20:33

cool

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 13th Oct 2009 18:38

Jessie, for me, poetry, music, math and science hang together in a mutual admiration society, with the same major aim of DISCOVERY. We don't so much 'create' in poetry as 'discover' what we can illuminate by using language.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 13th Oct 2009 18:15

Dave, I enjoyed this. Very clever and funny and true blue. Isobel's suggestion is a good one. Go for it.

Comment is about Looking for Blues (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 13th Oct 2009 18:09

See if I can guess what?

You are doing so many mental manipulations with minimal words. What are you aiming for?

Comment is about 1,000,000,000 others (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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Jessie Alpal

Tue 13th Oct 2009 18:07

Thank you for the comments.
The excessive comma use is a bit of a bad habit, i write it as i say it, including putting in commas everytime i pause, but as you say when written it breaks it up to much!

Comment is about Losing Time (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 13th Oct 2009 18:03

The winter months can be very traumatic for lots of people, sun loss being a genuine mental problem. But I don't know exactly where you went from 'The realm...' local legends' ie. the rest of the poem. I'm sorry. Perhaps it is only my lack of comprehension.

Comment is about Second Class Citizen (blog)

Original item by Jason Jones

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Tue 13th Oct 2009 17:42

An honest, genuinely touching poem. There are some excellent poetic ideas like:'you kissed me in a rushed, embarrassed way that showed our youth', 'we are too lost in learning and working to be able to find time to be lost in each other'.
I would watch the overuse of commas where they do nothing except interrupt your flow of meaning (and, yes, most poets don't use enough punctuation to make ideas clear). I did wonder if you were thinking of reading pauses for performance. If so, be assured a good reader will pause as needed to keep meaning and music intact. But I do have one more comment - perhaps the ending would roll in triumphantly as ' ....such a callous joke when we decided to be so far apart as lovers'. Somehow, for me, the ending doesn't balance quite right.

Comment is about Losing Time (blog)

Original item by Jessie

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spencer

Tue 13th Oct 2009 15:06

True a message to the untouchables , but,but, ,,, they won't read it because it doesn't affect them. They don't have a problem it is purely recreational. What a load of pants!.

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

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Tommy Carroll

Tue 13th Oct 2009 14:32

A dire warning to us all!

Comment is about The Walk (blog)

Original item by Spencer Robertshaw - 07703 558825

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Nichola Burrows

Tue 13th Oct 2009 12:14

I really like this Deb. We all feel that we have to use a multitude of words to create images but, if I'm not mistaken, you say an awful lot here in very few words, interpretation of which are subjective to the reader.

Love it, I hope I never going to stop dancing, because I don't like the long walk back.

Nicky x





Comment is about Ta dOuleur (blog)

Original item by Deborah Jordan

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Nichola Burrows

Tue 13th Oct 2009 12:04

Funny how you never let go of that image, something that you'll never regain though, - sadly, your first love, is always something ephemeral that many always hang on to, and try and replicate. Unfortunately, the majority of us very rarely succeed in doing so. However, we are fickle creatures and even upon having the fortune (or misfortune ) to meet up with 'the one' again - are they the same person that we loved? Are we the same person that loved them? Interesting and thoughtprovoking words you have written Pete. Great piece.

Nicky x - I loved the 80's - big hair, brash make-up.

Comment is about Dormant Virus (blog)

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Nichola Burrows

Tue 13th Oct 2009 11:43

Janet, imagery is fantastic in this. Don't know what more to say (just catching up on reading all the poems, and everyone has said it for me - this really stands out), beautiful rhythm, well executed. Love it.

Nicky x

Comment is about Out of the Darkness (revised edition) (blog)

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spencer

Tue 13th Oct 2009 11:31

Thank you , you are very kind.

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spencer

Tue 13th Oct 2009 11:29

I say, Cynthia you keep me on my toes don't you. My daughter asked for the piece ,it was lightweight I agree. If you want some real meat then I will have to oblige some time in the future.
Your comments are appreciated it keeps me on my toes.

Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

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spencer

Tue 13th Oct 2009 11:26

Hey John , thanks for the comments and yes St Peppers is a classic album which is well locked into the jukebox of historical recordings. A Day In Life !!!!.

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Nichola Burrows

Tue 13th Oct 2009 11:17

I keep coming back to this one Neil. Great poem, and although it can be a good thing to enter into a relationship with your 'photo album' of baggage etc, and bearing all the honesty of your past, so that you have nothing to hide ( which can create a very stable, honest and enduring relationship), it can also be a difficult one. People have a tendency to fling past wrongs at one-another in the heat of the moment, so maybe sometimes it is good to have a few secrets of ones own that may, if known, create ammunition. On the other hand, if you are not honest, then the baggage can come back to haunt you, and create even more of a hoo-ha! Even though I would love to look through 'rose-tinted glasses' - your poem strikes a note with me. Enjoyed it.

Nicky x

Comment is about An Anti-Love Poem (blog)

Original item by Neil West

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Tommy Carroll

Tue 13th Oct 2009 10:56

Viva!

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Richard Bergman

Tue 13th Oct 2009 09:33

Hi Clarissa. It is a song penned by Gil Scott Heron. I think there will a you tube clip of it.

pip pip

Comment is about I wish I had penned that pt- 1 (blog)

Original item by Richard Bergman

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garside

Tue 13th Oct 2009 07:42

Hi Tommy

thanks for taking the time to read and comment on my poem

steve x

Comment is about Tommy Carroll (poet profile)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

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garside

Tue 13th Oct 2009 07:41

Hi Andy

thanks for taking the time to read and make comment on 'occupation'

steve x

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clarissa mckone

Tue 13th Oct 2009 01:56

I like it.its simple easy to read and understand.Almost song like.

Comment is about I wish I had penned that pt- 1 (blog)

Original item by Richard Bergman

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