Sat 24th Oct 2009 02:35
I know these feelings... out of proportion thoughts...
You have captured them well Nicky : )
Comment is about 'Open-Mic Virgin' (blog)
Original item by Nicky Burrows
Sat 24th Oct 2009 01:46
Oh Augusta Darling...
Love these lines:
'Somewhere to go no where dance into the street
Meeting the melt of morning into day'
Yes... you are quite observant about what moves me ; )
Comment is about One Night Stanza (blog)
Original item by Augusta Darling
Sat 24th Oct 2009 00:36
Comment is about THE COLD POOL (blog)
Sat 24th Oct 2009 00:15
A witty little piece Steve - and the poem's not bad either. I'm presuming whoi? is a cross between why and pourquoi. Not being chauvinistic at all, but I think I prefer the vanilla slice - more bang for your buck and less sweet.
Comment is about Conundrum (blog)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 22:50
I love this mother/ babies poem.
Comment is about Twins (A poetic duet) (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 22:49
Sorry Andy! your comments are very much appreciated.
Comment is about Empty Windows (blog)
Original item by Alan McKean
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 22:48
Thanks Cynthia, glad you liked it.
I wrote it sat in Rochdale town centre whilst I was waiting, sadly, to sign on myself.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 22:43
Like that a lot - thanks Cynthia
changed as suggested
Comment is about City Canal (blog)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 21:42
Thanks so much for your comment on "A Day in the Life". I have spend plenty of time on the road over the last few years, and somehow this all came together the other night.
A very descriptive summation
Comment is about stephen smith (poet profile)
Original item by stephen smith
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 21:26
You pray because you have hope, or you have hope because you pray. Either way, express yourselves with cymbals and timbrels - and the sound of poetry. Well done. And well-editted, too (smile)
Comment is about Peace! In A World Full of Tears. (blog)
Original item by BRASS
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 21:09
Comment is about Lares et panates (blog)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 21:05
Superb. I wait for more with real pleasure. Last line is the touch of a true poet.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 20:59
Terrific - social subject matter, diction, music, line breaks. Really, really good.
I make one suggestion, very boldly. Consider just for a moment:
Around plastic bags menacing
The dark water.
Is it possibly tighter and stronger, with the 'short a' sound grinding along keeping the mood 'menacing'? Not one of your great words is changed.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 20:44
I like this; it talks big ideas in 'tasty' language. 'tangled time'; 'cleft for wet truth' wow! But I looked up 'sepent' - non-existent in my dictionaries. If you meant 'serpent earth' with its connotative explosion, the poem is really good.
Comment is about Persephone's Filthy Dream (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 20:36
I never took this in as actual sex in progress; more the triangular situation which could be manifested anywhere, in a crowded room perhaps, tempting and daring, but extremely discreet, and therefore very sensual.
Comment is about Assignation (blog)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:54
Twas my first, Gus. Lost it to the Howcroft! Will always hold fond memories.
So your a dutchman then? lol.
Thanks for commenting. Nicky x
Comment is about Gus Jonsson (poet profile)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:29
Hey Ho Augsta
Great imagery once again... clever finale.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:26
Flat on my face, or legs in the air!
Never stay a virgin long in that pose... I heard it it was all Greek to me!
If that was your first outing then I'm a dutchman... or is this a poem depicting an earlier time in your poetic life.?
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:21
I truly appreciate the comment.
I used it as a kind of verbal dyno-rod. Silly little thought, but sometimes (too often) the brain goes into 'off' mode, and needs a gentle nudge.
I also love!! a vanilla slice
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:13
Hey Ho Steve,
Can't have your cake ...
nice little observation...
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:10
wonderful .. I agree with Steve superb imagerytoo!
Comment is about Charlie (blog)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:08
This is very good ... love it !!
Comment is about Zero (blog)
Original item by Elise Lennon
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 17:04
I've been to a party like this... still got a key or two missing... better than bridge!
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:59
Thanks - I understand now - I think... It wasn't obvious that the gaze was to the one watching - that does change it completely. Fascinating - relationships can be very complex.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:50
Thank you B! It took a dozen readings to get it 'nose' 'power of' 'N' LOL very good.
Comment is about Barrie Singleton (poet profile)
Original item by Barrie Singleton
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:32
Thank you aziza
Comment is about Truth In A World Without Tears (blog)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:28
Hi, i just want to say thanks for your help and comments on my poetry. It was very much appreciated. Don't know where you been lately but hope you're well. :-)
I'm going off the net for a while so good luck with all that you do. Take care,
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (poet profile)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:27
Hi Nicky, this is a sad poem .Are you feel....?
thanks so much.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:24
Hi John, i just want to say thanks for your comments on some of my poems. Going to be off-line for a while, things to do, people to see etc.... :-)
Love reading your poetry and hope it will long continue for you.
Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)
Original item by John Darwin
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:16
Hi Cynthia, i just want to say thanks for your encouragement and your assistance when commenting on my work.
It really has been very helpful and is appreciated.
I'm off-line for a while but will most likely be back in the new year.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 16:13
just want to say thanks for your support and comments on my poetry. I'm going to be an absent friend on wol too for a short while so i wish you well with your own work and will most likely see you at an event.
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 15:43
Hi Nicky, just want to say thankyou for your encouragement and fantastic comments on my poetry. I'm going to be off-line for a short while.
Love your latest poems by the way. The performance virgin is just great! :-)
Comment is about Nicky Burrows (poet profile)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 15:35
Hi everyone at BRASS, happy to know you enjoyed the Howcroft and hope to see you all again soon. Love in abundance and peace in our country. Keep up your wonderful work.
Comment is about BRASS (poet profile)
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 15:32
Hi Sophie, thanks for your comment.
I'll be off-line for a while so just want to wish you well with your poetry and keep up the gigs when you can. :-)
Might see you at an event,
Comment is about Sophie Hall (poet profile)
Original item by Sophie Hall
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 15:30
Hi Andy, just want to say thanks for all your encouragement. I'll be off-line for a while but might see you soon somewhere.
Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)
Original item by Andy N
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 14:00
thanks for commenting on 'for silence' nicky.. bit off a odd one that one as it sort off wrote itself.. don't know where it came from literally!
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 13:59
yeah, for silence is a sad un! not sure where that came from! came out off no-where somehow..thanks for commenting!
Comment is about Cate (poet profile)
Original item by Cate
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 13:41
Perhaps I misunderstood it Tommy. I assumed that the beloved had found someone another, leaving her ex lover to watch her start over with someone else. Perhaps that was naive and this is in fact a menage a trois where the watching is all part of the fun....Perhaps you could explain or does that go against the grain?
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 12:32
Still haven't a clue what it's about...but the wordsmithery is admirable.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 12:15
Where did you read? Hope to hear you sometime. You have captured the experience very well!
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:54
Thanks for taking the time etc
It was nice to sort of meet you last week (is a nod a 'meeting'), and I look forward to having the time to chat next time
Comment is about Jeffarama! (poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:35
Hi Cynthia, as I have said before I enjoy the criticism of my writing, what you have to say is constructive and I don't take offense at it at all. Sometimes one can get too close to a piece, and miss mistakes and errors, or make mistakes in typing - I am sure that I am computer dyslexic!! haha. Think I mentioned before that I can spot grammatical stakes at a hundred paces in the work of others but when it comes to my own I think they hide and take cover.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:25
thanks very much for your input John. I have settled on 'tumescent' its several meanings work for me in that context.
Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)
Original item by John Aikman
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:18
yea andy i love the eves actually my 1st tattoo was ther ban name back in 1991 still looks good now. and mike the women never let me rest easy lol was only this week that one i wanted only wants to be mates and another i like has someone. of course there are more and i think its crap you can get someone who you want. life aint like that. mine aint anyhow. its like a random lottery lol. oh yes someone will come along prob have me running for cover lol. thansx guys, nick:)
Comment is about my love of warplanes and tragedy of failed romances... (blog)
Original item by nick armbrister
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 11:01
Are you really serious about this? I can't spend more time now, but do you mean it in general? I hesitate to interfere where I'm not wanted.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:58
Hi John, John here. (I was in the Estate agents recently and out of the five people in the office, four of them were called John. When I told them I had an appointment with John they all groaned). When I was 10, many years ago, John was the most popular name for boys, I don't think it's even in the top 20 now. Funny how names will end up dating you. In 20 years time 'clairvoyant hoaxsters' will be closing their eyes and touching their temples and saying' is anybody here missing a John?' and a whole bunch of blue-rinsers will start waving their arms about. : )
Anyway, that's not why I called....in fact I've completely forgotten why I did pop in...oh yes, couldn't 'copulant', which we both agree isn't really a word (although it does have minor usage in fertility sciences when discussing the fusion of gametes) become 'corpulent'?
I rather like the idea of a corpulent brillianteened quiff.
PS I was born in the North and now live in the south, we may have crossed on the journey.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:51
Second 'typo' cleared up. Thanks Cynthia, feel like I'm back at school, anyone spot anymore?lol x
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:46
Thank you Cynthia.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:44
Well, while we're at it, it would be good to clear up 'whose' and 'who's'. I know you know 'whose book' - belonging. and 'who's coming tonight' - contraction. Everybody does it, but that doesn't make it right, just tolerated.
Jeff's suggestions are good.
What colourful language? Who reprimanded you? And where? The quills are rising up my back.
Someone else did a 'first time' mic night recently. I'm trying to remember. We read so much.
Fri 23rd Oct 2009 10:29
I am a great exponent of Truth as probably the best synonym of hundreds for the Idea of God. But I find this poem too indefinite to resonate - more confusing than contemplative. Each verse might stand alone as a formal haiku or tanka. Worth a thought.
Note, because you are good, make this correction: 'it's' means 'it is', a contraction; 'its' is ' belonging to', possession. The two are always mixed up on this site by everybody, but it's jarring. Pop a 't' in 'Still'. Don't forget to edit before posting. There are tons of bad examples before you on this site, but somebody has to set a good example. Be brave.
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