Mon 8th Sep 2008 20:26
Rang my bell! Theres another song! Good fun, nice one Gabriela, think I'll use the cold bath after Ieuan! Jeff X
Comment is about DING MY DONG !!!! (blog)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 20:22
Hi Belinda, or whatever it is in Japanese!
Good to know you appreciated feedback, and thanks for your comments about my work, means a lot.
I can imagine its quite manic in many parts of Japan although I''ve never been and the frustration came through in your poem
How did you end up in Japan and what are you doing there? Apart from the capital and a few cities.
Good luck with the language - I don't know much about Japanese, apart from that all words end in a vowel or the letter 'n' - mine of useless information!
Good to hear from you, take care Jeff X
ps i've put a new poem on tonight!
Comment is about Belinda (Poet profile)
Original item by Belinda
Mon 8th Sep 2008 20:14
Hi Moira, no probs, you can amend it. Just click on edit whe you're logged in and amend, when you save it, it will post it again with same comments etc, just in case you didn't know, good to see you on the site, good init! Jeff x
Comment is about Moira Eribenne (Poet profile)
Original item by Moira Eribenne
Mon 8th Sep 2008 19:03
not quite sure how you get done for gbh over some threatening email that someone else sent (I'm guessing it's being mentioned as the thing that spurs the act of violence that you get sentenced for at the end of the poem?), but I really liked this one anyway.
Comment is about So i got in trouble (blog)
Original item by Sarah Clark
Mon 8th Sep 2008 17:12
hey gabz its the 1 to perv form
Comment is about 6284 (blog)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 17:10
ya ya ya its the Gabriella come back edited version!
Comment is about poem for the depraved (blog)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 16:48
lovely cum back ;)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 14:44
are you really related to John Cooper Clark? thats interesting. enjoy your poems
Comment is about (Poet profile)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 13:42
this is exelent
i really like this one
as i can relate to it
great work as usual !
Comment is about your ten minutes is up (blog)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:58
Thanks Ieuan and Darren.
Darren, I agree and I'm frustrated because I know that with the right tutoring I could create finished pieces.
Comment is about the beggar man (blog)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:53
Hi Pete - I enjoy your imagery and your articulated perceptions of this world. There is always much to look at in your work. Multi-layered with a complexity that befits a man of your logic and obvious flare for writing as well as performance. From a linguists perspective, some verbs are not consistent with particles and tense but I can imagine you performing this, where it's not as much of an issue as it is on t'page.
Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:52
Hahahaha - really loved this Antoniotoniotoniotnotnotnio - the glass eye again! I noticed "Darling" had shave his eye brows the other week, you could see the stubble... .Very amusing indeed, thank you....
Comment is about Downing Street pillow talk (blog)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:44
Wonderful backlash against consumerism. Loved the "intimate" first person perspective and enquiry. Diolch!
Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:21
I like how this begins with the 'coldness' of short clauses and then animates itself with feeling through the longer intimate sentence at the end.
Comment is about Love Song (blog)
Original item by Freda Davis
Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:04
Emily - you have an unimaginable imagination.
Oven gloves make great pets too.
Comment is about Egg Face (blog)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 07:48
Hi Melissa - if I was to study your poetry at any advanced level, I would not fail to notice that you write about themes that are set deep inside a person's psyche. One way to articulate these emotions is to write about them, which you usually do with a raw emotion that is almost tangible.
I know you say this is an 'old one' and after I got over the lumps of the words ' awakening yesterdays' I fell into the poem's rhythm. I don't think those words are phonetically suitable because they have too many syllables to suit the iambic metre that runs throughout the rest of this poem. There must be synonyms of suitable words?
Comment is about Tether (blog)
Mon 8th Sep 2008 07:16
Thank you for your comments on my poem. Like you I'm relatively new to writing, and I'm exploring new avenues all the time.
I did think that the ZXombie poem was rather short, so thank you for confirming this for me.
I live and work in Japan and like more and more countries around the world, people are just sooo busy and can't see the wood for the trees, this is what my poem is about, if you hadn't guessed already.
I really like your poems, keep up the good work.
Comment is about Jeffarama! (Poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Mon 8th Sep 2008 01:17
I enjoyed this one, and it reads so well! I understand the feelings too, reminds me of the man I was married to for 12 years or so. take care xx clarissa
Sun 7th Sep 2008 23:38
"If I was" a fabulous 'list' of desires and desiring...hope you were thrilled fulfilled!
Comment is about Clare Kirwan (Poet profile)
Original item by Clare Kirwan
Sun 7th Sep 2008 23:07
Throughout your explorations I find the recurrent father son theme very moving, take it these wonderful word pictures are in homage to your much loved dad.
Recall cuckoo clock magic as a child, you draw it beautifully "audience chair spectacular...mellow highlights blue ribbon, twisting pipe smoke...command performance"
Grabbed by the pathos at the end...anticipation.
Photographic poetry..shutter wide open. Great,
Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:53
Thanks once again Jeff and pleased you liked the predestiny of it all!
Comment is about Sack the sat nav (blog)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:36
Thanks for the quick response Moira and Antonionioni. Its very friendly of you.
Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:33
Love this Freda, your exploration of our sense of separation even paradoxically in 'intimacy.' Very touching connection drawn out in beginnings residing in affectionate glances.
Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:29
Angst, well explored and thankfully recovered. Glad it made an apperance here. I particularly enjoyed "You shut the blinds Awakening yestersay's demise"
Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:24
You are not a pedant..you are RIGHT...error and too late to amend! Bore indeed...where would we be without feedback, poorer for it. Thanks.
Happy penning Jeff
Comment is about Deviation (blog)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:23
Great sharing, thanks! Pleased the emotion hit home and that you enjoyed the flow. It was a moment when I felt it needed to be said. The relief!
What a wonderful community here me thinks!
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:56
Hi Moira, like this as well, just one thing, is it boar or bore? Could have a major impact on the content, sorry to be pedantic!
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:43
Hi Belinda, I like this and its a good idea, but for me it ended just when it was getting going, maybe add a couple of stanzas with other Zombie thoughts? good stuff Jeff
Comment is about Zombies (blog)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:37
Hi Moira, really enjoyed this (enjoyed others too, but just catching up with last two weeks blogs! - this is my favourite), love the analogy of the sat nav and dumping it cos everthing ,apped out, nice one Jeff
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:30
Mmmmmm sounds familiar Pete, great write, cheers Jeff
Comment is about a shadow of his former self (blog)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:26
Hi Zuzanna, this would make a wonderful story for children, its a great poem and I love your description of the old bird, a pleasure to read and thanks for your comment as always! Jeff
Comment is about WHO WAS SHE? (blog)
Original item by Zuzanna Musial
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:20
No home should be without one! great stuff Tim!
Comment is about The Changeling (blog)
Original item by Tim Linton
Melissa R. Mendelson
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:12
You truly delivered a great character here, who holds a reflection within each and everyone of us, and we have to remember to keep silent when she is about.
Creepy picture, btw. :)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:07
Damn those elves, always aiming to misbehave.
You have a great imagination and a gifted way with words. :)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:05
Thank you, Tim for your comment on my poem, A Light Ahead.
My dreams are still burning. I hope yours are as well.
Take care. :)
Comment is about Tim Linton (Poet profile)
Wonderful Melissa, really got something out of this, need to read it again!! Jeffarama!
Comment is about A Light Ahead (blog)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:03
There is such a sense of emotion pouring out of this piece, and I love the flow of your words. :)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:00
Thank you for your comment on my poem, A Light Ahead.
It is indeed a gift to dream and within the dream, a gift to write, and no matter what, we need to keep that dream alight.
I hope that you will do the same. :)
Take care. :)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:56
Thank you for your comments. Well, the tv interview was brief, but I made it to tv. :)
I hope to try and make more appearances when I can, and in the meantime, I will continue to write as always. Please, do the same.
I hope you're having a great weekend. :)
Comment is about Zuzanna Musial (Poet profile)
Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:51
Hey, Jeff. I hope you are having a great weekend, and keep writing your poetry. I really like your poems.
As for what's happening here, nothing really except starting another retail job unfortunately.
Hope you're having a great weekend.
Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:49
my kinda stuff, Daniel enjoyed it! Jeff
Comment is about lifes pendulmn (blog)
Original item by Daniel Hooks
Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:31
Hi Alison, great to see you back in action, love this, my knida stuff, last stanza especially cuts deep, best wishes Jeff
Comment is about Expressions so Deep (blog)
Original item by Alison Mary Dunn
Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:06
This poem does seem to grab! It reminded me of 2 songs, one tittled ring my bell, and the ding dong song by gunther.When your in your fourties you may have a burnin desire, with pantys on fire. Haha good one, enjoyed the laugh thanks
Sun 7th Sep 2008 18:55
Thanks for your comment and glad you enjoyed the title too! A world and a half Pete, and then some!
Sun 7th Sep 2008 18:47
Great poem, I especially like the title, it implies something else but as the poem unfolds we are shown a whole new world
Sun 7th Sep 2008 18:00
Beautifully protrayed depiction of the homeland and the Lord, deeply felt and moving. Then your shift to present day blame/excuse culture in YR's is done with great humour "...blame a syndrome.. and Ed Psyche legions." The 'final' solution raised a smile. Enjoyed your writing very much,
Sun 7th Sep 2008 17:14
Domo Arigato for your comment on my poem :)) It's much appreciated. I only speak a little Japanese and have just started lessons, and I'm learning Hirgana.
Yes, I wrote this poem whilst sitting in a cafe in the city of Okayama last week. I'm mesmorized by people and how they go about their daily lives.
Thank you again x
Sun 7th Sep 2008 17:07
Thanks for the feedback Ieuan, fab celtic name!
Dizzying yes, dizzying as the entire experience of 'falling..'
I'm off to read you now and looking forward to it.
Sun 7th Sep 2008 15:34
hya .. where r ur samples ?
Comment is about Edward K Fisher (Poet profile)
Original item by Edward K Fisher
Sun 7th Sep 2008 15:21
3,20 am.. hav had that feeling x
© Copyright Julian Jordon Ltd. All rights reserved.