Jeff Dawson

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Mon 8th Sep 2008 20:26

Rang my bell! Theres another song! Good fun, nice one Gabriela, think I'll use the cold bath after Ieuan! Jeff X

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Jeff Dawson

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Mon 8th Sep 2008 20:22

Hi Belinda, or whatever it is in Japanese!

Good to know you appreciated feedback, and thanks for your comments about my work, means a lot.

I can imagine its quite manic in many parts of Japan although I''ve never been and the frustration came through in your poem

How did you end up in Japan and what are you doing there? Apart from the capital and a few cities.

Good luck with the language - I don't know much about Japanese, apart from that all words end in a vowel or the letter 'n' - mine of useless information!

Good to hear from you, take care Jeff X

ps i've put a new poem on tonight!

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Original item by Belinda

Jeff Dawson

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Mon 8th Sep 2008 20:14

Hi Moira, no probs, you can amend it. Just click on edit whe you're logged in and amend, when you save it, it will post it again with same comments etc, just in case you didn't know, good to see you on the site, good init! Jeff x

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Original item by Moira Eribenne

DG

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Mon 8th Sep 2008 19:03

not quite sure how you get done for gbh over some threatening email that someone else sent (I'm guessing it's being mentioned as the thing that spurs the act of violence that you get sentenced for at the end of the poem?), but I really liked this one anyway.

Comment is about So i got in trouble (blog)

Original item by Sarah Clark

Pete Crompton

Mon 8th Sep 2008 17:12

hey gabz its the 1 to perv form

Comment is about 6284 (blog)

Pete Crompton

Mon 8th Sep 2008 17:10

ya ya ya its the Gabriella come back edited version!

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Gabriella Enriocco

Mon 8th Sep 2008 16:48

lovely cum back ;)

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Richard Brooks

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Mon 8th Sep 2008 14:44

are you really related to John Cooper Clark? thats interesting. enjoy your poems

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sarah clark

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Mon 8th Sep 2008 13:42

hiya pete

this is exelent
i really like this one
as i can relate to it

great work as usual !

much love

sez x

Comment is about your ten minutes is up (blog)

Pete Crompton

Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:58

Thanks Ieuan and Darren.
Darren, I agree and I'm frustrated because I know that with the right tutoring I could create finished pieces.

Comment is about the beggar man (blog)

Darren Thomas

Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:53

Hi Pete - I enjoy your imagery and your articulated perceptions of this world. There is always much to look at in your work. Multi-layered with a complexity that befits a man of your logic and obvious flare for writing as well as performance. From a linguists perspective, some verbs are not consistent with particles and tense but I can imagine you performing this, where it's not as much of an issue as it is on t'page.

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Ieuan Cilgwri

Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:52

Hahahaha - really loved this Antoniotoniotoniotnotnotnio - the glass eye again! I noticed "Darling" had shave his eye brows the other week, you could see the stubble... .Very amusing indeed, thank you....

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Ieuan Cilgwri

Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:44

Wonderful backlash against consumerism. Loved the "intimate" first person perspective and enquiry. Diolch!

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Darren Thomas

Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:21

I like how this begins with the 'coldness' of short clauses and then animates itself with feeling through the longer intimate sentence at the end.

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Original item by Freda Davis

Darren Thomas

Mon 8th Sep 2008 10:04

Emily - you have an unimaginable imagination.
Oven gloves make great pets too.

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Darren Thomas

Mon 8th Sep 2008 07:48

Hi Melissa - if I was to study your poetry at any advanced level, I would not fail to notice that you write about themes that are set deep inside a person's psyche. One way to articulate these emotions is to write about them, which you usually do with a raw emotion that is almost tangible.
I know you say this is an 'old one' and after I got over the lumps of the words ' awakening yesterdays' I fell into the poem's rhythm. I don't think those words are phonetically suitable because they have too many syllables to suit the iambic metre that runs throughout the rest of this poem. There must be synonyms of suitable words?

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Belinda Johnston

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Mon 8th Sep 2008 07:16

Hello Jeff,

Thank you for your comments on my poem. Like you I'm relatively new to writing, and I'm exploring new avenues all the time.

I did think that the ZXombie poem was rather short, so thank you for confirming this for me.

I live and work in Japan and like more and more countries around the world, people are just sooo busy and can't see the wood for the trees, this is what my poem is about, if you hadn't guessed already.

I really like your poems, keep up the good work.

Belinda x

Comment is about Jeffarama! (Poet profile)

Original item by Jeffarama!

clarissa mckone

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Mon 8th Sep 2008 01:17

Hi Melissa,
I enjoyed this one, and it reads so well! I understand the feelings too, reminds me of the man I was married to for 12 years or so. take care xx clarissa

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Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 23:38

"If I was" a fabulous 'list' of desires and desiring...hope you were thrilled fulfilled!

Loved it,
Moira

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Original item by Clare Kirwan

Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 23:07

Pete!
Throughout your explorations I find the recurrent father son theme very moving, take it these wonderful word pictures are in homage to your much loved dad.
Recall cuckoo clock magic as a child, you draw it beautifully "audience chair spectacular...mellow highlights blue ribbon, twisting pipe smoke...command performance"
Grabbed by the pathos at the end...anticipation.

Photographic poetry..shutter wide open. Great,

Moira

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Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:53

Thanks once again Jeff and pleased you liked the predestiny of it all!

Moira

Comment is about Sack the sat nav (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Freda Davis

Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:36

Thanks for the quick response Moira and Antonionioni. Its very friendly of you.

Comment is about Love Song (blog)

Original item by Freda Davis

Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:33

Love this Freda, your exploration of our sense of separation even paradoxically in 'intimacy.' Very touching connection drawn out in beginnings residing in affectionate glances.

Lovely,

Moira

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Original item by Freda Davis

Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:29

Angst, well explored and thankfully recovered. Glad it made an apperance here. I particularly enjoyed "You shut the blinds Awakening yestersay's demise"

Re-discover away!

Moira

Comment is about Tether (blog)

Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:24

Hello Jeff,

You are not a pedant..you are RIGHT...error and too late to amend! Bore indeed...where would we be without feedback, poorer for it. Thanks.

Happy penning Jeff

Comment is about Deviation (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 22:23

Melissa,

Great sharing, thanks! Pleased the emotion hit home and that you enjoyed the flow. It was a moment when I felt it needed to be said. The relief!
What a wonderful community here me thinks!

Take care,
Moira

Comment is about Deviation (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:56

Hi Moira, like this as well, just one thing, is it boar or bore? Could have a major impact on the content, sorry to be pedantic!

Comment is about Deviation (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:43

Hi Belinda, I like this and its a good idea, but for me it ended just when it was getting going, maybe add a couple of stanzas with other Zombie thoughts? good stuff Jeff

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Original item by Belinda

Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:37

Hi Moira, really enjoyed this (enjoyed others too, but just catching up with last two weeks blogs! - this is my favourite), love the analogy of the sat nav and dumping it cos everthing ,apped out, nice one Jeff

Comment is about Sack the sat nav (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:30

Mmmmmm sounds familiar Pete, great write, cheers Jeff

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Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:26

Hi Zuzanna, this would make a wonderful story for children, its a great poem and I love your description of the old bird, a pleasure to read and thanks for your comment as always! Jeff

Comment is about WHO WAS SHE? (blog)

Original item by Zuzanna Musial

Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:20

No home should be without one! great stuff Tim!

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Original item by Tim Linton

Melissa R. Mendelson

Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:12

You truly delivered a great character here, who holds a reflection within each and everyone of us, and we have to remember to keep silent when she is about.

Creepy picture, btw. :)

Comment is about WHO WAS SHE? (blog)

Original item by Zuzanna Musial

Melissa R. Mendelson

Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:07

Damn those elves, always aiming to misbehave.

You have a great imagination and a gifted way with words. :)

Comment is about The Changeling (blog)

Original item by Tim Linton

Melissa R. Mendelson

Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:05

Thank you, Tim for your comment on my poem, A Light Ahead.

My dreams are still burning. I hope yours are as well.

Take care. :)

-Melissa

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Original item by Tim Linton

Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:05

Wonderful Melissa, really got something out of this, need to read it again!! Jeffarama!

Comment is about A Light Ahead (blog)

Melissa R. Mendelson

Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:03

There is such a sense of emotion pouring out of this piece, and I love the flow of your words. :)

Comment is about Deviation (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Melissa R. Mendelson

Sun 7th Sep 2008 21:00

Dear Moira,

Thank you for your comment on my poem, A Light Ahead.

It is indeed a gift to dream and within the dream, a gift to write, and no matter what, we need to keep that dream alight.

I hope that you will do the same. :)

Take care. :)

-Melissa

Comment is about Moira Eribenne (Poet profile)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Melissa R. Mendelson

Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:56

Dear Zuzanna,

Thank you for your comments. Well, the tv interview was brief, but I made it to tv. :)

I hope to try and make more appearances when I can, and in the meantime, I will continue to write as always. Please, do the same.

I hope you're having a great weekend. :)

-Melissa

Comment is about Zuzanna Musial (Poet profile)

Original item by Zuzanna Musial

Melissa R. Mendelson

Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:51

Hey, Jeff. I hope you are having a great weekend, and keep writing your poetry. I really like your poems.

As for what's happening here, nothing really except starting another retail job unfortunately.

Hope you're having a great weekend.

-Melissa

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Original item by Jeffarama!

Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:49

my kinda stuff, Daniel enjoyed it! Jeff

Comment is about lifes pendulmn (blog)

Original item by Daniel Hooks

Jeff Dawson

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:31

Hi Alison, great to see you back in action, love this, my knida stuff, last stanza especially cuts deep, best wishes Jeff

Comment is about Expressions so Deep (blog)

Original item by Alison Mary Dunn

clarissa mckone

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 20:06

HI Gabriella,
This poem does seem to grab! It reminded me of 2 songs, one tittled ring my bell, and the ding dong song by gunther.When your in your fourties you may have a burnin desire, with pantys on fire. Haha good one, enjoyed the laugh thanks

Comment is about DING MY DONG !!!! (blog)

Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 18:55

Pete!
Thanks for your comment and glad you enjoyed the title too! A world and a half Pete, and then some!

Comment is about Sack the sat nav (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Pete Crompton

Sun 7th Sep 2008 18:47

Great poem, I especially like the title, it implies something else but as the poem unfolds we are shown a whole new world

Comment is about Sack the sat nav (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 18:00

Hello Ieuan,
Beautifully protrayed depiction of the homeland and the Lord, deeply felt and moving. Then your shift to present day blame/excuse culture in YR's is done with great humour "...blame a syndrome.. and Ed Psyche legions." The 'final' solution raised a smile. Enjoyed your writing very much,

Moira

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Belinda Johnston

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 17:14

Hello Gabriella,

Domo Arigato for your comment on my poem :)) It's much appreciated. I only speak a little Japanese and have just started lessons, and I'm learning Hirgana.

Yes, I wrote this poem whilst sitting in a cafe in the city of Okayama last week. I'm mesmorized by people and how they go about their daily lives.

Thank you again x

Comment is about Belinda (Poet profile)

Original item by Belinda

Moira

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Sun 7th Sep 2008 17:07

Thanks for the feedback Ieuan, fab celtic name!
Dizzying yes, dizzying as the entire experience of 'falling..'
I'm off to read you now and looking forward to it.

Be cool,
Moira

Comment is about Sack the sat nav (blog)

Original item by Moira Eribenne

Gabriella Enriocco

Sun 7th Sep 2008 15:34

hya .. where r ur samples ?

gabby x

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Original item by Edward K Fisher

Gabriella Enriocco

Sun 7th Sep 2008 15:21

3,20 am.. hav had that feeling x

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