Wed 22nd Jul 2009 10:24
Every good poem contains at least one great, life-affirming concept. Yours here, Isobel, is (for me), the idea of smiling photosynthesis in your tree-child. That's when you know the poem will flower into love, after starting with that expression of hatred, which was really just an expression of fatigue at a social ritual.
Comment is about The School Play (blog)
Original item by Isobel
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 09:05
Brings back lots of warm memories. My favourite however was not from our own children. my eldest daughter is now one of those teachers who (believe me) look forward to the nativity with just as much enthusiasm.
Best one for me was the large boy angel in the "chorus" who incessantly yawned the whole way through, priceless.
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 08:41
No man should have to go to war the way they went in the first world war - cannon fodder, with poor leadership and total disregard for life - they didn't even have a choice about being there. At least weapons of mass destruction have given us that....
Comment is about Two war poems (edited!) (blog)
Original item by Anthony Emmerson
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 08:33
Very much a departure in theme and style for you Anthony - particularly with the use of I.
Very wistful and haunting. Love it - but then 'I' would...
Comment is about undercurrents (blog)
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 08:20
Don't know how this one drifted by without me noticing it. A great one Dave and such an unusual idea. We can send men to the moon, 'destroy myths' but back here on earth very little changes...
Comment is about Ten Years After (blog)
Original item by Dave Morgan
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 07:32
Hi Marianne, as someone entrenched in the "make it bloody obvious" school of narrative poetry, your work is a challenge, but I'm hopeless at crossword puzzles and chess, and really anything else that requires a bit of effort. I can imagine listening to the flow of words, backed up by a mellifluous sax, sitting on a giant bean bag, slightly or even extremely intoxicated, in the Museum of Modern Art, and thinking "wow i must get into this writing business. Cliff Richard is so dead!" Definitely brain fodder. Thank you.
Comment is about Marianne Daniels (Poet profile)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 03:52
It nice to think about MM, to bad she is dead.She was such a beauty.
Comment is about that tear (blog)
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 03:47
Hi dave, very nice poem, Im sure she would love it.
Comment is about My Eyes Will Ever (blog)
Original item by Dave Dunn
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 03:43
wow, I would have never thought about that subject matter, for a poem. You have done very well.
Comment is about Humbert Humbert, Pleased To Meet You. (Forbidden Love) (blog)
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 03:36
I think your poem is very interesting
and shows that some people
are in a since pig headed.
I think its good that all people can speak and
write whats on their minds.
No one should ever tell another
that their comment is
of no value. In fact to call another names
is to a point a real problem.
I enjoy being called an infidel
and being looked at like I'm scum
in my own land, where I was born.
I find it fascinating, that so many can lose a job
to a lower paid worker, from another country.
I all so find it very interesting when, so many
flee the country of birth, and then go into
another and try to keep the very things they
left behind.Its no secret, that if you change
the ethnic makeup, and religious makeup
of a country enough, that, that very country ceases
to exist.Just look to history to try and disprove this statement.
When my family came over on the boats
and paid their way in, and had to pass health inspections
to be admitted, this country was young.We all had some hard lumps
along the way, to prove ourselves worthy of being Americans.
In other words, we had to work, pay taxes, and blend in and speak the language that
bonds a culture.Many that travel to other country's, don't do this, and in my opinion
have no respect for the country that they take from.Just my observation.
Your poem, for me was funny in many ways, and sad in others. I hope you know that
not all people think like that. But some points from the skin head are valid, just as yours are.Your poem is not offensive, nor is it racist.I would not worry about it.Freedom of speech, is of great value.Some people are ultra sensitive, and worry for others, that need to just get a life.
Comment is about Bloody Foreigners! (MuzzleHim) (blog)
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 00:21
Thanks for your comments on "undercurrents." I think I may have said before that very little of my writing is autobiographical; it's something that I've never been particularly comfortable with. I just tend to imagine myself into situations, or alternatively adapt imagined situations to fit a particular theme I feel like exploring. Today's theme was, as you correctly observed, what past relationships leave behind, and how they never truly leave our subconscious. Oh yes, I've been there several times, but never in the exact circumstances of the poem - I just needed the moonlight, beach and frangipani to add that sense of "From Here to Eternity" romance and lust. Pure escapism - influenced and fuelled by emotinal experience. I hope I haven't disappointed you!
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (Poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 22nd Jul 2009 00:20
Very impressed with the length and steadiness of the note you hold, and the quality of your voice is superb, it's the sharp intake at the beginning of your sentence that I meant .... sounds to me like you're breathing in to the top of your lungs. Practice two things - 1st - look in the mirror and take a big breath in - your shoulders shouldn't rise, fill down and push your abdomen out instead, you'll be able to take more air in and control it better. 2nd - lie on the floor, big breath in (without moving your shoulders), hands on your ribcage and speak a line on one breath - use your hands to help squeeze the air out that little bit further.
Life is fine thanks! Was nice to meet you and see you perform at the Greenroom a coupl of weeks ago.
Comment is about Chris Jam (Poet profile)
Original item by Chris Jam
Marianne Louise Daniels
Tue 21st Jul 2009 23:53
erm, I think Win said enough. My sentences always appear abstract because i am pulling at the loose thread of my sleeve and all the words they get stuck when i get knotted up. ha...erm, i like the feel of words and I THINK, not always sure, that I brainstorm connotations and sounds...I dunno, my mind is quite a jamboree cynthia! thanls for comments.x
Comment is about Glass Spider (blog)
Tue 21st Jul 2009 23:40
Que c'est triste... et tu montres très bien comment c'est pour les gens qui n'ont personne qui s'occupe d'eux dans la vie...
Comment is about (Death in Kind) Made out to Mable (blog)
Tue 21st Jul 2009 23:26
Tes mots d'amour me fais toujours fondre le coeur...
Tu sais toucher.. tu sais t'exprimer avec tes mots...
Comment is about The easy rhyme of St valentine (blog)
Tue 21st Jul 2009 23:20
Que c'est beau de pouvoir écrire et penser comme ça : )
Comment is about My God a Goddess (blog)
Tue 21st Jul 2009 23:10
Ooh maybe I should change it then Isobel x
Comment is about Saturday night takeaway. (blog)
Original item by Helen Wakefield
Tue 21st Jul 2009 22:56
I've finished watching, "The Wrestler".
We can talk now, if you like?
I'll show you mine if you show me yours. Love to see what you have.
I'll comment on a couple of yours and you comment on mind?
Which ones you want me to look at?
Comment is about Sophie Hall (Poet profile)
Original item by Sophie Hall
Tue 21st Jul 2009 22:24
Woops - its close proximity to the door mat left me confused - I think I got the main thrust of the poem though - you've got me wanting a take away now Helen! LOL
Tue 21st Jul 2009 22:21
You've got me all confused Thomas - what would the wrong/right thing be - lust without love?
Comment is about To Love or Not to Love? (blog)
I mean the bed frame! Thanks for all your comments x
Tue 21st Jul 2009 22:11
What a sheltered life you must lead Winston - or maybe you just spend too much time juggling in a barge boat that doesn't have door frames. I'm guessing this kebab is being well and truly taken away...
Tue 21st Jul 2009 21:31
Nurse... the screens !
Comment is about Sex Addict (blog)
Original item by Mia Darlone
Tue 21st Jul 2009 21:25
This is great stuff Helen but I can't get the last verse, can you explain, frame? maybe I am blind. Winston
Tue 21st Jul 2009 21:16
Like this, conjours up children in the fields lost and frightened, but there is hope... Well thats what I got from it. Nice, Win
Comment is about Turn Away (blog)
Tue 21st Jul 2009 21:11
Again, a strange collection of words which have a feel to them when combined that is your style. you can put your hand in the bag and take out what you want. It may not be the most acessible of poetry but it certainly is rich, great Win x
Tue 21st Jul 2009 21:07
hi sophie sorry I haven't replied in about a year....oops so sorry I have been a little re-miss doing my final year etc. Thank you for the comment I enjoyed your writing too, very amusing! I love you too and the blog were especially funny. Good luck with everything, and yes definitely do the creative writing dissertation, (just make sure you abuse the appointment/tutorials)...I didn't .... but still got a 1st so it worked out ok in the end!!! xxxx
Tue 21st Jul 2009 21:03
Yes.. I have been there too. My daughter once played the angel gabriel in the nativety and was pushed forward by the teacher only to produce the longest and loudest raspberry known to man! You have captured the school play wonderfully Isobel, the best tree ever. :-) Win x
Tue 21st Jul 2009 20:59
some lovely phrasing Anthony in this one. Liked it a lot.. Win
Deborah R Jordan
Tue 21st Jul 2009 20:51
Hello Cynthia, thank you for your kind comments on my poem Blackwater. Deb x
Tue 21st Jul 2009 20:34
Stephen, sounds like you are creatively very busy. You've got that Ireland-Britain thing going on which produces good art.
LIked these lines from 'A poetess worth words' ...
Dark she was, her smile
White as the wave crest
Breaking on the shore of future’s land,
I see that one of your themes is the current political degeneration of Britain and Western Europe. Have you read any of the nevels of Michel Houllebecq. I think you might like his stuff, though some folk find him upsetting.
I occasionally pop up at the Dead Goods, so maybe see you there. IN the meantime, do try to get to the Bards of New Brighton, the independent (and very well attended) group I run. We meet on the second Monday of every month at the Magazine, pub, New Brighton, CH45 1HP, starting at 8pm. We are frank, fearless and free.
Comment is about stephen smith (Poet profile)
Original item by stephen smith
Tue 21st Jul 2009 20:21
In the first poem these lines worked really well ...
"Our sergeant paced, checked his watch for lies,
and ignored the muffled sobs disguised as coughs
- his whistle hanging heavy as a prayer."
The second poem evokes unbearable sadness at the loss of young lives; lives hardly lived. And past notions of cowardice and the penalties imposed as a result, were so wrong.
And yet, and yet, sometimes (maybe most of the time) if peace is to be built on sure foundations, then nations have to go to war. It has always been so; always will be.
Tue 21st Jul 2009 20:13
Elegant and glamorous (in the ancient sense of glamorous - i.e.magical), Anthony. I love the moonlight on the sea. When I'm abroad I aways swim in the sea at night. And "franginpani whispers" is such a luscious image. Great pic too.
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Tue 21st Jul 2009 19:53
Great one, Helen. Seduction is always a captivating theme of universal interest - innocent prey taken down by the rapacious hunter. I admire most the tightness, the plan of this work - not one wasted word.
Tue 21st Jul 2009 19:40
So - not a thinker, eh? You're good, Thomas Topping, you're very good. Don't misplace a single line of anything you write. Make a filing space anywhere, under your pillow if necessary, but keep track of your work. You're up and running now.
Tue 21st Jul 2009 19:24
Fabulous, Isobel ... just fabulous. You know all the good things you've done in this poem or it wouldn't be here. Empathy! Empathy!
Tue 21st Jul 2009 19:18
Would you give a simple paraphrase of this poem so that I may understand how your mind and its imagery works? Then I will be able to appreciate your other poems.
Tue 21st Jul 2009 19:17
Hi Cynthia. Hulme is near Manchester town centre, just by the Universities.
Comment is about Simon Rennie (Poet profile)
Original item by Simon Rennie
Tue 21st Jul 2009 19:04
Very nice - made me feel nostalgic for my island home with its 'frangipani whispers' (really good phrase); enjoying your good couplets - downright refreshing. Did you 'trade lives'? or 'enjoin' them? Only asking.
Tue 21st Jul 2009 18:57
Loved the sentiments - and loved the tap-toe rhythm; a real marriage of high thoughts and high 'heels'; a time-honoured technique.
Comment is about British, Not Pure (blog)
Tue 21st Jul 2009 16:46
If you scroll down on this link to 'News' you can find a couple of recordings of Shafilea's work.
Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (Poet profile)
Tue 21st Jul 2009 16:43
From Barbara Cartland through Coronation Street to Shameless - in three verses! Neat trick!
Tue 21st Jul 2009 15:46
Compelling as ever Chris, but watch your in- breath ... it is possible to take the breath deep down to the bottom of the lungs without the sharp inhalation sound, using your diaphragm more.
But excellent work!
Comment is about uR boDY (blog)
Dave Dunn aka Rhumour
Tue 21st Jul 2009 14:55
White wine for me please - the red gives me gout, so I would agree with you it is dangerous,hehe.
Nice work - best wishes Dave
Comment is about Andy Humphrey (Poet profile)
Original item by Andy Humphrey
Tue 21st Jul 2009 14:51
Journal Heart Attack is quite a cleverly composed piece, I felt the words gripping me within the first few lines........
Good luck with the novel. Dave
Tue 21st Jul 2009 14:21
Richard: Although I felt it was important to illustrate some of what Peely liked while he was alive, I also felt that in an idealised, "heaven" sort of sense, there would be a universal celebration of music; that's what I was getting at in the final verse. I rather suspect Peel wouldn't have had much time for Caedmon or Charles Wesley in life, either (or Elvis for that matter). But it seemed important to have all these diverse past icons up there in heaven, partying together.
I hope that makes some sort of sense :)
Comment is about The Greatest Gig Of All (article)
Tue 21st Jul 2009 13:43
I can only approach this from my own memories of school plays, where it always seemed that the "posh" kids got the starring roles - so much disappointment. Who knows, given that initial chance and encouragement I could have been George Clooney by now! (Yeh, right!) One thing that stands out for me is that you quite rightly allude to the fact that it is impossible to capture feelings via the camera lens. After reading this I can't imagine for one moment that you are a "deficient" parent. You make tree-hugging sound very respectable.
Tue 21st Jul 2009 12:59
You are certainly fearless in the subject matters you tackle! A hard one to read when you have young children but you do manage successfully to take us into the mind of a paedophile. Back to the housework...
Tue 21st Jul 2009 11:36
Very mystical Dave, I enjoyed reading this,and agree with all of the comments already up. I think we all will reach a slightly different take on the meaning, but leaving it open to interpretation is good.
Comment is about Nothing (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Tue 21st Jul 2009 11:24
Awwww I luv luv luv this Isobel! Why is it our children always get shit parts? My golden haired boy was always cast as an angel which he absolutely hated, and my lovely little girl either an inn keeper or a mangy oxen, when anyone with only half a mind could see she was obviously born to play Mary! Im sure Maria was the most beautiful tree ever, and clever Francine to see there was such a lovely poem in this moment!!
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