Mon 19th Jul 2010 22:29
Melissa I disagree with Cynthia (as I often do) and think as the piece is about to finish, there is a glimmer of hope. I do however think the word home at the end is a mistake and should have just finished "where am I going"?
Comment is about Twisted Thorns (blog)
Patricia and Stefan Wilde
Mon 19th Jul 2010 21:38
OI! Berny-whats your game? you have had a long enough break-put that wine bottle down and get back here-pronto! tonto! best regards-Stef-xx
Comment is about bernadette herbertson (poet profile)
Original item by bernadette herbertson
Mon 19th Jul 2010 21:00
Winston. I've managed to create the link to th ghazal:
I buy them merely for the smells of books
and days disappear in the spells of books
In the sun with a hat and a hardback
I draw refreshment from my wells of books
As a teen my brain was aflame with them
I walked about deaf from yells of books.
For bullies whose brains get tangled with words
I pray there is reserved a hell of books.
At night I was lulled by the wave of words
hissing in my ear from the shells of books.
The notes scribbled by previous readers
genetically alters the cells of books
Faced by the mountain of the works of men
Solomon wished he'd not heard tell of books
The media insists our modern age
will create the final farewell of books
A trail of bent spines and scraps of paper
marks my progress through the pell-mell of books.
Exhilarated I rode the white whale
of Ahab through the turbulent swells of books
Oh Ben your sadly sagging shelves reveal
you can't resist the hard sell of books.
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
Mon 19th Jul 2010 20:48
OH!! no way can I ever-ever watch news reports on this senselessness-how the heck can anyone be so hardened of heart to do this-you certainly have captured the horror of it in this poem-the perpetrators of these slaughters wont be happy till there is no wildlife or wildernesses left.The one story I was very moved by and sickened at the ending was the bbc2 prog on Luna the Orca Whale-lovely story but as I say-with a very sad ending-have a read-see what you think,but only at your convenience of course-catch you later love-Stef-xx(B-xx)
Comment is about Seal Pups (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Mon 19th Jul 2010 20:39
Aw ta Lynn for further comments-good ole Benji-not daft eh-snugglechops!am just watching one of the old black and whites-a film called 'A kind of loving' similar to all the old british classics-Saturday night and Sunday morning-Billy Liar-etc-etc.Brilliant films! also got a nice radio prog you might like-poetry/short stories/music.Its RTE radio one, Sunday Miscellany-as with all these shows you can go to earlier progs etc-but if you click on-'Latest show' you might like it-some very inspiring readings on all types of subjects-give it a whirl girl! who knows? catch you and Foxfeatures(Benji-not Ann-lol!)later-cheers Lynn-xx(B-xx)
Comment is about Lynn Dye (poet profile)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 20:09
Glad you like my short'Oneness'poem-is,nt that rose a beautful image-wow! if I sent a bunch of those to my fancy woman-I would have two wives in no time-lol! and re the sad poem of the old Lady-indeed it is a blessing to have relatives who care-all the time-not just when it suits them-when you are put in one of those institutions-I promise to visit you-as long as you pay for the petrol!! haha-we visit an old friend/neighbour of ours,and although the staff are very caring it must be quite an endurance to sit in an armchair all day-staring at the same poor people-there again,what is the alternative? there but for the grace of God go we! lotsa love-Stef-xx(B-xx)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 20:01
I enjoyed this, Cynthia, unpredictable and amusing, life does that sometimes! x
Comment is about Cliches (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Mon 19th Jul 2010 19:31
I agree with other comments made, just love your descriptions, Ray.
Comment is about Llanbwychllyn Lake (blog)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 19:14
Unique idea, Larisa, loved it and your poem. xx
Comment is about Our life looks like a zibra (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Mon 19th Jul 2010 19:12
This is lovely, Val, enjoyed your nostalgic memories, thanks. x
Comment is about The Child I Used to Be (blog)
Original item by Valerie Cook
Mon 19th Jul 2010 19:01
Hi again Lynn-re 'Natural understanding'did you read it under an umbrella-lol! but I am grateful to you as ever for taking the time to read-Stef-xx(B-xx)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 18:58
Thanks Lynn re'Fair comparison' your kindness goes before-and behind as well-lol!-Stef-xx(B-xx)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 18:52
Ah, young love, how sweet Gus, I enjoyed this.
Comment is about Boy Meets Girl (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Mon 19th Jul 2010 18:35
Yes! They can be fantastic!
And sometimes so plastic!
Like a focus in a circus. lol
Mon 19th Jul 2010 18:24
Now I come to think of it, the "drowned seafarer" did have a beard, moustache and wild staring eyes.
Anyway, I'm about to remove that last stanza, I think you're right - it works better that way and removing it makes the poem less samey when looked at against the backdrop of the rest of my cannon.
Comment is about Near Death (blog)
Original item by Dermot Glennon
Mon 19th Jul 2010 18:22
Quite a clever poem Larisa-well done! does life make its own tricks? you betcha! thank you-Stef-xx(M-xx)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 18:01
Lovely poem Val-bottle of water-oh that takes me back as well.You were very daring to ride such a big bike-'another tentacle'-nice line-very nice poem-thank you-Stefan-xx
Mon 19th Jul 2010 16:47
Don't know if you can see this - you seem to have taken yourself off the site, and I stupidly failed to bookmark your blog and now can't find it again - but anyway ... if you're still reading your comments here - would you drop me a line please? - would really appreciate it :)
firstname.lastname@example.org - it's a private email a/c.
Comment is about Simple (blog)
Original item by Jacqueline King
Mon 19th Jul 2010 16:38
Hi Cynthia - Rachel is here in case you didn't realise, http://www.writeoutloud.net/public/blogentry.php?blogentryid=11547
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 16:28
Thanks for that :)
I'm always just grateful if anyone reads at all, doubly so if they leave a comment!
Been investigating your blog, not read it all but you have some very interesting work there.
Comment is about Jacqueline King (poet profile)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 15:45
Winston. Thanks for the explanation. It does help. I'm trying to put a link to the other ghazal. Might not work!
Didn't work. I'll post it for you later if you like, it was on another poetry forum.
Mon 19th Jul 2010 15:36
Hello Ann. You've some great phrases in this - gut-tug, womb-tied and the 3rd verse." gravely klaxons" is a bit of a mystery to me and I'd have liked something more powerful at the end. Enjoyed.
Comment is about surfing (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Mon 19th Jul 2010 15:22
Neat and pretty, Dave, though for me bad dreams are more often the consequence.
Comment is about Science Fiction (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Mon 19th Jul 2010 15:21
Ray, beautifully descriptive and a stunning finish.
Mon 19th Jul 2010 15:19
Lads, I thank you so much. I've little faith in my descriptive abilities, and needed a lift! Thanks again!
Mon 19th Jul 2010 14:19
I have to agree - you always seem to use the appropriate words - steering a reader in one direction - before we deviate over a poetic turn's cliff.
Good stuff Ray.
Mon 19th Jul 2010 14:11
How bizarre? I was at the sea in North Wales over the weekend, when I saw this complete 'barm-pot' thrasing the rough water to a foam. It was obvious he was in some sort distress but all I could think of was 'I wonder what's going through that stupid head of his?'
Wait - a - minute...
Mon 19th Jul 2010 13:46
Hi andy, thanks for commenting on Ghazal, yes i like the end best also :-) Win
Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)
Original item by Andy N
Mon 19th Jul 2010 13:45
ice and relationships, always a good are to explore through poetry Ann. Win
Comment is about crystal clear (blog)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 13:44
Thanks for comment on Crystal Clear Cynthia. I didn't actually use the word invisible at all though, so I don't see how there could be too much emphasis on that particular word. I was more thinking of something cold and clear and transparent as a block of ice. Not necessarily invisible. xx
Mon 19th Jul 2010 13:43
Hi Ann, thanks for your comments on my latest Ghazal... not writen one for ages so thats nice to do. and thankyou for correction to typo. changed it. glad you felt moved by it. win. x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Thanks for comment Cynthia. I didn't actually use the word invisible at all though, so I don't see how there could be too much emphasis on that particular word. I was more thinking of something cold and clear and transparent as a block of ice. Not necessarily invisible. xx
Mon 19th Jul 2010 13:16
Thanks as ever for your thoughtful comment on 'Science Fiction'. I'm afraid Sale isn't a possibility. I play league table tennis and it's the club practice night. I beat everyone last week (competitive? moi?) which has never happened before. So, although Sale is tempting, it wouldn't be good form to fail to show this week.
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Mon 19th Jul 2010 13:04
Jacqueline, please enlarge on your reaction to the comments about Chris' CHAOS. I am intrigued.
Mon 19th Jul 2010 12:41
Dead interesting, Melissa. It crashed right along with strong rhythm and realistic dialogue, keeping the pace strong. For me, the poem should end with: 'Why did I not listen?' which has a real POW factor. I think the last stanza introduces such a different controversial idea that it dilutes the strong message in the piece. This is purely my opinion. The title is very clever.
Mon 19th Jul 2010 12:35
Yes Jackie - I read other poetry - most of what's on here, a lot from other sites too, old favourites - Shakespeare, Owen, Yeats, Donne, Thomas, (Dylan, but also Darren) - the list is long; and through friends and acquaintances (many from WOL) am constantly discovering others.
I don't consider what I write to be poetry really, scribblings that sometimes help or amuse me, sometimes might strike a chord with someone else. That's the beauty of a site like this, in my opinion anyway, it enables us all - regardless of ability - to have a go and share work which means something to us, even though it may be unpublishable.
Thank-you for reading,
Mon 19th Jul 2010 12:34
Good haiku,too,a little gem of pure pessimism. See you tomorrow at Sale?
Mon 19th Jul 2010 12:33
Hi Trky. He you are at last... great to see you and your profile on WOL. Loved your sample poem. Welcome to WOL. Winston (Admin)
Comment is about Trky Cairns (poet profile)
Original item by Trky Cairns
Mon 19th Jul 2010 12:28
Interesting ideas; but I think they are stretching the relationships a bit too far. Individually, I feel they work, as separate poetical observations. Perhaps it is the emphasis on 'invisibility' that bothers me; ice is not invisible, and the iceberg that sank the Titanic certainly wasn't.
Mon 19th Jul 2010 12:21
Hi There Paulyn, welcom to WOL. Have fun! winston
Comment is about Paulyn Lloyd (poet profile)
Original item by Paulyn Lloyd
Mon 19th Jul 2010 12:20
Ann, I happened to read your comment to Pete, about 'secrets' in poems. I think that is a superb way to express it: every poem IS a secret waiting to be unravelled by the reader. I think it is often just as much a 'secret' to the writer. What a great observation!
Mon 19th Jul 2010 12:02
Flippin 'eck! can,t believe I did,nt put a comment on before now about Dyes dog! lol!-real foxyface he is-and beautiful with it-like his Muvver! latest news item re dogs-Ken Dodds father had two dog that have now passed away...the headline reads-Ken Dodds Dads dog,s dead-(only to make you laugh Lynn)see you later-Stef-xx(Benji-xx)
Comment is about Benji (blog)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 11:55
Good morning Lynn-just popped in to say I,ve popped Pepes poem on-now I,m popping off-not in the true sense of course(drat! I hear you say-lol!)enjoy your day ducky-Stef-xx(Benji-xx)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 11:21
Thank you for your encouragement Chris, ps you have same name as my youngest, we call her Chris, among many other things. x
Mon 19th Jul 2010 11:13
A very good morning to you Larisa(and McCoy)hope you are both well.I am so grateful for your comments on 'Oneness' and am very pleased its given you some inspiration-look forward to your poem.thank you-Stefan-xx(McCoy-xx)
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 10:03
Thanks 4 commenting me! Who would think that workshops turns to be so useful!? waiting for you to post your Ireland stuff here.X
Mon 19th Jul 2010 09:37
thank you for your very kind comments , i also have a column were you can read a bit more of my work, just go to www.pennyblackmusic.co.uk and look for evidently spencertown for poetry , also there are some interviews and reviews I have done.
Regarding Johnny - he is a really nice bloke and the best poet I have ever read
Comment is about Emma Garland (poet profile)
Original item by Emma Garland
Mon 19th Jul 2010 09:35
I agree with Cynthia, it's a fantastic poem and I don't think the lack of punctuation causes anything to be lacking in either meaning or imagery.
I, too, like the references to weight and there's a hardness to the imagery that is really clever - for that reason I don't like 'eider' ... everything else seems to be hard or rough, whether a thing of beauty - like the pearl, or coarse - like the rope. Eider stood out to me, or maybe that's the point?
Love the last 2 lines especially, but less keen on the use of the last line as a title - I think I'd have just called it Stone.
Very good poem though Pete.
Hope you are well - not spoken in ages!
Comment is about The Stone I Own (blog)
Mon 19th Jul 2010 09:23
Poignant, yet sweet - like it.
Comment is about She (blog)
Original item by Hayden
Mon 19th Jul 2010 09:22
Lovely description, intriguing conclusion teasing the reader. Nice one
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