Wed 27th Jan 2010 18:27
The mood and content of this poem reflects the spirit of WOL at its best, and your own generosity in the way you comment on other people's work, Cynthia.
Comment is about To Fellow Poets (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 27th Jan 2010 17:57
Sing on, Ann!
Comment is about on finding a voice (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Wed 27th Jan 2010 17:42
Thank you!! xx
Comment is about Dave Bradley (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Wed 27th Jan 2010 17:40
Comment is about Coming Home from Evening Church (blog)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 17:13
Hi John! Thank you for your comment and if you want to learn Russian following the steps of your grandma- I am a person to help:))
Comment is about John Aikman (poet profile)
Original item by John Aikman
Wed 27th Jan 2010 17:10
I'm not a religious person, but this has always been my favourite painting. The poem is a very simple one, hopefuly echoing the simplicity of the painting.
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:58
Re the turncoat canary...that was part of the thing Gregg but I didn't think it would be spotted lol! thanks for looking .Win
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:57
Thanks for the wise words. You are absolutely right. Mind you, I've never met anyone who made less assumptions than you!
Comment is about Winston Plowes (poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
Thanks for your comment on Game of Two Halves, Win, and for the link to the football poets. Auntie Mary's canary made me smile
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:53
Hi John... thanks for the extra info. You know, when I read things I try not to assume anything. In the case of this one I did NOT assume that 1) these were real life events 2) there were 2 boys or a boy and a girl involved. Try looking at it from a strangers point of view and thinking there IS a girl and a boy. Quite a different take I am sure yu wil agree. Win x
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:51
Good evening Dave-ta re Scotty poem-yes its a country steeped in fascinating history and fantastic scenery beyond doubt-I absolutely love it.I was very impressed with my visit to the Wallace monument in particular.Also have had some lovely coach trips up there-brilliant occasion for socialising-and whiskey drinking! thanks again Mr. B.-Stefan.
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:44
She ran the Chippy too!
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:40
My grandmother (uneducated, ancient and Scottish) learned Russian in her 60's just so she could recite Pushkin to me on her knee. I never understood a word of it...but it sounded lovely...full of ssshuushes and pssschisshes. Worked for me!
Comment is about Natasha (poet profile)
Original item by Natasha
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:37
Ah! So his gran ran the local sweetshop! That's why you fell in love! It is all clear now! ;-) xx
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:35
Dear W. Thanks for the kind comments re 'Martin'. Sadly, we never played together ever again...his gran wouldn't let us. I think she suspected we had become rather too close for comfort that summer...and nearly blinding him was the final straw. In real life the spinner treble hook went straight through his ear lobe...but I was amazed when the local Doc actually cut his earlobe and returned my spinner intact...result!
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:27
Thanks again for your considered comments.
The word 'eutectic' comes primarily from the realm of 'physical chemistry' and is about boiling points and melting points of compounds and mixtures...that was the first clue....but I wouldn't expect most folks to get that one...I took out a whole verse about how I had to bite the line through and consequently ended up rather close to his tearful face...which was how come I could taste his tears and his breath (he always smelled of sherbert...his gran ran the local sweetshop!). When I took out that verse it suddenly became just funny...rather than funny/sad/longing/...Ho Hum.
I have no problem with funny...just was aiming a bit higher...or lower. :)
Back to the drawing board. Thanks (as always)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:23
The word 'eutectic' comes primarily from the realm of 'physical chemistry'...that was the first clue....but I wouldn't expect most folks to get that one...I took out a whole verse about how I had to bite the line through and consequently ended up rather close to his tearful face...which was how come I could taste his tears and his breath (he always smelled of sherbert...his gran ran the local sweetshop!). When I took out that verse it suddenly became just funny...rather than funny/sad/longing/...Ho Hum.
Back to the drawing board. Thanks (as ever)
Comment is about Isobel (poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Wed 27th Jan 2010 16:16
Thank you for your kind comments with regard to 'Martin'. Nobody seems to have picked up the slightly 'Brideshead' vibe that I had hoped to create...how come I know his tears were hot, and what his breath smelled of? I think I may have edited it a bit hard and taken out the obvious signifiers. Can a poem be too subtle? I hope to submit it as my final piece for the OU course that I've been doing and I think I may have inadvertently turned a tale of boiling unrequited love into a piece of whimsy?
Your comments are always valued.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 15:27
Still amazes me that we get into these metal tubes with wings and launch ourselves into the blue... good to see you posting win.
Comment is about PIERCE (blog)
Original item by owen calvert
Wed 27th Jan 2010 12:42
I guess looking back over the poem there were clues - but the humour in the poem tended to obscure them. I had planned to look up the word eutectic but never got round to it... like many things in my life!
A good read - hope the course is going well. x
Wed 27th Jan 2010 12:26
Really enjoyed this. Nice to see something beautifully peacefull on here. win
Comment is about The Prettiest Music (blog)
Original item by Tom
Wed 27th Jan 2010 12:20
liked this one Kathryn, etherial. Win
Comment is about Morbid curiosity. (blog)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 12:17
Hi John... from the top drawer of the nostalgia cabinet this one. Nice story. hope the frendship survived between the 2 characters.
Comment is about Martin (blog)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 12:10
Don't get him out of your system Rach, he is part of you. Sometimes our friendly ghosts pop back to haunt us for a while I think, just to see how we're doing!
Comment is about Man Overboard (blog)
Original item by Rachel McGladdery
Wed 27th Jan 2010 12:07
Lovely last verse! I echo all your thoughts here Cynthia. xxx
Wed 27th Jan 2010 12:05
I hope they are all trailing their comet tails behind them Kathryn, I really do. When I lost my person, I just had to go out into the Januaryt night and sit in the garden looking up for shooting stars. I saw two, and it helped! But that's another story - or poem! I think this poem is excellent. xxx
Wed 27th Jan 2010 12:04
I like this ;)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 11:58
Hi John - re your message to me about this poem - I guess the fact that Martin was the only one who you wanted to lend your stuff too is the only clue. Maybe you could have ended "You were the best thing I caught that year". And I must look up eutectic! You old showoff!! ;-) xxx
Wed 27th Jan 2010 11:55
Yes, powerful, and the debate rages on. My uncle died on a Lancaster bound for Germany - was he on a pointless or evil mission?
"The figure of around 600,000 came to be accepted as the number of German civilians killed by bombing...the exact number will probably never be known...the number of combatants killed in the bombing was low. The German dead were mostly women, children and the old, those who were left at home when the men of fighting age not needed to run the factories went off to war.....In Hamburg, 7,000 of the dead were children or adolescent" Bomber Boys - Patrick Bishop (a good book for an objective exploration of the issues and the horror in the cities, while still describing the remarkable heroism of our bomber crews)
Comment is about 27th July 1943 (blog)
Original item by Banksy
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 27th Jan 2010 11:50
This really is one of those poems worth collecting as 'favourites'. So many lines are so good: 'Approaching in Apache crouch' and 'your breath - sherbert and frightened dandelions' are just to support this point.
Wed 27th Jan 2010 11:45
Comment is about Baby Bobbies (blog)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 11:40
At face value, terrific. Your unique poetic skills for novel imaging are flying. Choice of subject-brilliant: Who hasn't wondered at the kind of courage necessary for these 'acts'?
At metaphor level, intentional or not, even more electrifying as the situation covers every 'bondage' relationship I can think of, including marriage.
Comment is about loving the knife thrower (blog)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 11:26
Enjoyed this Rachel. Good fun and some cracking phrases. Takes it one stage further than my 'Softer', which was a crap poem compared to this.
Comment is about They Can Be Polished (blog)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 11:08
Ann's comment sums it up for me. This is very good
Wed 27th Jan 2010 10:21
Glad you enjoyed 'Martin' although I'm afraid it must count as a bit of a failure on my part. It's a true story and was meant to contain a bit of adolescent homoerotic longing as well as the story. I edited it out of a piece about twice as long. I was going to submit it for my final OU piece...but I think I've turned a semi-decent poem into a piece of whimsy by too much trimming. Still, the OU didn't say it had to be a 'serious' piece so maybe a comic piece will do. I've got to write 500 words about how I wrote it. 500 words on how I fucked it up would count?
Anyway...glad you liked it and many thanks for commenting.
Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (poet profile)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 10:17
Glad you enjoyed 'Martin'. Thank you. Sadly (it is a true story) we never went fishing together again. No-one seems to have mentioned the homo-erotic subtext...which is a shame as I wrote it to submit as my final piece for the OU course I've been doing. I've obviously edited it too hard and removed the tension and longing from it. There was a verse where I bit through the line and brushed his cheeks with my lips...but that was just tooo flaming obvious. When I removed it it turned into a comic piece in a flash. It had sounded rather tender up unitl then.
Glad you liked it though. It's still a poem!
Wed 27th Jan 2010 10:10
I'm glad you enjoyed 'Martin'. It may be my final piece for the OU course I've been doing. Nobody seems to have 'caught' the adolescent, homoerotic subtext. Is it that invisible?
The original draft was packed full of adjectives and explanation and then I whittled it away to the core...perhaps I did too much whittling? It's a true story. Seems I can only do true stories.
Wed 27th Jan 2010 09:33
Hi Ann, many thanks for you recent comment. Means a lot. Regards, Thom
Wed 27th Jan 2010 09:32
Hi Andy, thanks a lot for the comment, always appreciated. I agree about the final line too, not actually sure when that '!' got tacked on. Thom
Comment is about Andy N (poet profile)
Original item by Andy N
Wed 27th Jan 2010 08:11
Not sure if you need the ! at the end off the piece, thomas but i enjoyed this.. nice one
Wed 27th Jan 2010 08:10
enjoyed this.. the ending is like a magic rug - takes you somewhere else.. good stuff x
Wed 27th Jan 2010 00:21
Have read this several times and I have to agree with Isobel
in that I feel it is about an illicit affair...
'She edged away from his satiety
And shrank into the tangled sheets,
Afraid of the noise
And perhaps the wrath of God.'
Lots of feeling and interesting imagery in this!
Comment is about Summer Storm (blog)
Wed 27th Jan 2010 00:09
very different poem Ann,well done! but question,is this the portly Lady who has the last song? I always get the same request every time i,m about to warble in company-I think its called-over the hills and far away-? Stefanovelloxx
Comment is about the timid Valkyrie (blog)
Tue 26th Jan 2010 23:49
does this knife thrower want a dispendable volunteer?her name?no not J.R. Hartley,some old crinkly scroat called......ah! I remember! Mrs Wilde-she,s lovely really,when she,s asleep!and my name?J.R. Hartley JNR.xx(are,nt deep polls wonderful!)
Tue 26th Jan 2010 23:23
Och! wee McGladders! yeer tae bezzy wortchen pappy on tha pooper tae be drenkin annyways!de ya nae ken whys a be afterrr a wearin' a the wee respiratorrrr!ye mans always on tha parp am a thenkin'-Stefan'elp us all!xx
Tue 26th Jan 2010 22:26
Great poem ;-)) I had a mate like that once too.... I shot him in the back as he rode past on his bicycle with a Hawthorn Berry I'd loaded in my air rifle..... (he fell off) wouldn't play with me after that!! can't think why ??heh...
Tue 26th Jan 2010 22:07
re:letter to a genius. i love the language and the words. would love more of a clue what it's about. am i a simpleton? louise x
ps. not seen you for ages
Comment is about John Darwin (poet profile)
Original item by John Darwin
Tue 26th Jan 2010 21:52
Hi Dave, I really like this one, very clever!
Comment is about Satnav life (blog)
Tue 26th Jan 2010 20:23
Think I agree, and, like magic, they are gone!!!
Tue 26th Jan 2010 20:22
Yep, dirty bombs! :)
x = touche !
seeing as this subject is so close to many hearts, I'll post another in a very similar vein - you won't have to search too hard
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