Gus Jonsson

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 19:31

Thank 4 that Andy... ya know I'm wierd!!

Gus

Comment is about Andy N (Poet profile)

Original item by Andy N

Isobel

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 19:30

Can't say I identify with this one Michael - I loved performing mine from day 1 - even though it wasn't that good looking back. I must have the blissful nack of switching off to the audience - once I'm up there, it's all about me, me, me. I guess your observations are correct though - there are often lots of twitchy feet at any poetry reading and no matter how good the poet, some rude people talk all the way through.

Comment is about Beyond the Cringe : A first poetry perf (blog)

Original item by michael shepherd

Gus Jonsson

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 19:27

Whatya mean Izo?... a sorta period piece?

Gusx

Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)

Original item by Isobel

Yolande

Mon 7th Sep 2009 19:27

Hi Cate
A very powerful poem. Makes me glad I am not that wily spider when it gets the wheel of fortune spinning full circle.
Loved it.
Yolande

Comment is about For Whom The Wheel Turns (blog)

Original item by Cate

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 18:40

Thanks John, I have heard of the guy, recently read a piece in the Independent but have never read his writing, may go and google him later, thanks again mate.
Bernie

Comment is about Nerve (blog)

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 18:38

Cheers Mate.
Bernie

Comment is about Wannabe Street Poet (blog)

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 18:36

Hi John and thanks mate, I have heard of the guy and read a piece in the Independent recently but have never read his writing, may google him later.
Thanks Mate.
Bernie

Comment is about John Darwin (Poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 17:44

You are tuned to the energy of life all around you, with an innate power to penetrate beyond the obvious. It must be exhausting.
The poem is lovely. You want your particular line breaks, so be it. But, for me, I think it is too long. What could you do to reduce the 'word-time' that would reflect the force of the 'intuition-time'? Just an observation.

Comment is about The Couple on the Station Platform (blog)

Original item by michael shepherd

John Darwin

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 16:50

Bernie, liking it. Do you like Bukowski?

Comment is about Nerve (blog)

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 15:38

Thanks Michael, sincerly.
Bernie

Comment is about michael shepherd (Poet profile)

Original item by michael shepherd

Francine Louis

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 15:25

Hi Cate!
Have read this many times over the last few days - as I often like to do with certain poems that make me think ; )

Indeed, as others have mentioned, it's underlying message for me is based on the concepts of Existentialism and Karma...
We are responsible for the choices we make, so make them wisely...
Basically - What goes around, comes around : )

Oh!
I forgot to mention that for me, the 'Wheel' is the conscience.

Comment is about For Whom The Wheel Turns (blog)

Original item by Cate

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 14:12

an interesting write is this.
Bernie

Comment is about The Couple on the Station Platform (blog)

Original item by michael shepherd

Isobel

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 12:49

Yes - I think you're right with that one Cynthia - though I hadn't originally thought of the philosophical term for it. You bring to mind all the French literature I studied many moons ago. Sometimes it feels good to be the one with 'Les Mains Sales' - on that note, I'm off to Asda...

Comment is about For Whom The Wheel Turns (blog)

Original item by Cate

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 12:27

Thanks mate, can't think of a better compliment then"real".
again thanks.
Bernie

Comment is about Nerve (blog)

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 12:08

excellent.
Bernie

Comment is about THE LIST (blog)

Original item by Spencer Robertshaw - 07703 558825

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 12:05

Don't think any who saw 9/11 will ever forget, a good tribute.
Bernie

Comment is about Nine Eleven Tribute (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 12:03

hi Michael, enjoyed the track, you did it well, a good write is this mate.
Bernie

Comment is about Prayer to K-PAX (blog)

maipenrai

Mon 7th Sep 2009 11:58

as with all the other reviewers I am happy to have read this piece, the wheel of time, hmmm,agree with what Cynthia says.
Thanks for this well written and interesting piece.
Bernie

Comment is about For Whom The Wheel Turns (blog)

Original item by Cate

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 10:20

Existentialism? Have I got that right? Total responsibility for one's own actions? Haven't time to look it up, but I think that is one of many 'umbrella' words for the philosophy. Knock me flat if I'm wrong. Would expect no more.

Comment is about For Whom The Wheel Turns (blog)

Original item by Cate

Cate Greenlees

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 10:03

Thanks for your comments folks... much appreciated! I agree with you Cynthia, and could see the change would make it more powerful, so Ive changed it. Thanks for your input.I can see where Steve and Antonioni are coming from too. I know there are two very distinct styles here, but I was aiming for that. I wanted to show that the Universal law of Karma which affects the Cosmos, also scales down to our "little lives" and that if we set it in motion by our own actions, then on our own heads be it.Cate xx

Comment is about For Whom The Wheel Turns (blog)

Original item by Cate

Val Cook

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 09:51

Thank you all for your support and comments its much apprecaited. I started this poem ages ago and everytime I sat down to write my feelings got in the way.They still do when I read it.

Comment is about A Mothers Soliloquy (blog)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Darren Thomas

Mon 7th Sep 2009 09:32

This poem reveals just what 'real love' actually means and those sacrifices involved.

Heart felt, Val. Heart felt.

Comment is about A Mothers Soliloquy (blog)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Dave Morgan

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 08:21

Hi Michael, that's a beautifully unsettling track, of which I can only deduce about 40% at first hearing. Trying to follow the the foreground while straining to pick up some clues from the background is a challenge. Beautifully read. I'll try it again later.

Comment is about Prayer to K-PAX (blog)

Dave Dunn aka Rhumour

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 01:34

I find that I'm also aligned with Grahams observations. And being a father myself I recall those baby frowns rather well....... :)
Dave

Comment is about Dad (blog)

Original item by Lydia

Dave Dunn aka Rhumour

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 01:10

Thank you for your kind comments Francine, much appreciated. I'm not sure that the IM system was working correctly just now, but then I seem to get hassles with msn too, lol. Catch you another time perhaps :) Best wishes, Dave

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Francine Louis

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 00:51

Beautifully written Dave...
I remember... I will never forget.

Comment is about Nine Eleven Tribute (blog)

Original item by Dave Dunn

Darren Whitehead

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Mon 7th Sep 2009 00:30

Love "Lilley", love "Stuff" and I love "Glass Eyes". Your writing is intriguing, heartfelt and moving.

Comment is about Nicky Burrows (Poet profile)

Original item by Nicky Burrows

Tommy Carroll

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 22:46

and my BRAIN became
and...
purple a ...all this bewalmes

Comment is about Newcastle accent (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

andy n

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 22:37

be careful what you wish for indeed, cynthia... nice stuff!

Comment is about Three A.M. on an Old Computer (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

andy n

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 22:37

good stuff, tone... i know how many of these you've wrote.. is this going to be a ongoing series?

Comment is about Pointless 5 (blog)

andy n

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 22:36

nice ending janet.. like the movement in this!

Comment is about Holiday Break (blog)

Gus Jonsson

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 22:01

Lovely ride throughout your poem...Pun intended.

However, the poem could, in my view, benefit from a major edit...i.e. remove 'My' and 'Her' and 'I' ... rewrite to readjust the sense and flow.
Regards
Gus

Comment is about The minds eye (blog)

Original item by McDoogle

Dave Bradley

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 21:34

3 a.m.? A night owl? Enjoyed this, Cynthia.

Comment is about Three A.M. on an Old Computer (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Dave Bradley

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 21:31

Hi Spencer

This is powerful. Sounds like there's more to come?

Comment is about Detox (blog)

Original item by Spencer Robertshaw - 07703 558825

Dave Bradley

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 21:28

Hi Cate

This has rightly got a lot of comment. A crafted, thought-provoking poem that I would love to discuss with you. Possibly your best yet. Thanks for yours on mine.

Comment is about For Whom The Wheel Turns (blog)

Original item by Cate

steve garside

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 20:01

Hi Cat

like the take off at the end and i get the views of the others who have posted on already

i'd change the title as the present it doesn't do the work justice

consider revising wandering eye - it's a bit cliche (unless you intended this then i submit) think that you could easily drop wandering and thus increase the pace and tension of the piece

eg
Those eyes undressed
like musty cologne
that shows no respect;

that stilted speech
quickened my pulse
rough touched sober
this
cold pavement soothes




Comment is about That cough (blog)

Original item by Cat P

Isobel

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 19:53

What a lovely comment! I once made the mistake of reading Sylvia Plath at a most unhappy time in my life. How I kept my head out of the gas oven, I'll never know - perhaps the streak of me that is pure Marge...

Comment is about stephen smith (Poet profile)

Original item by stephen smith

Isobel

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 19:50

Thanks for your comments Gus. Yes, I guess if one can believe in the virgin birth, one can also believe it possible for a busy mother to write half decent poetry - I'll have to try harder - now where have I heard that line before???
Where have you been hiding - hope to see you at the Tudor on Thursday or I shall be forced to make the journey to some nasty part of Manchester again.

Comment is about Gus Jonsson (Poet profile)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

Isobel

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 19:47

Trust you to bring it back to basics Gus! Yes, I guess if one can believe in the virgin birth, one can also believe it possible for a busy mother to write half decent poetry - I'll have to try harder - now where have I heard that line before???

Comment is about It's hard to be a poet when you're a mum... (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Scott Devon

Sun 6th Sep 2009 19:21

Very nice, Dave. I look forward to your beat boxing debut next year followed by the album!!!!

Comment is about Big Chill Festival (article)

Gus Jonsson

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 17:11

Cum Cum Jon...

Dinosaurs ...what will you have us swallow next?

Gus

Comment is about Hope (blog)

Original item by Jon Ridgeway

Gus Jonsson

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 17:04

Its hard to be a Mum ..if you're a virgin...but not impossible so they would have us believe.

Gus x

Comment is about It's hard to be a poet when you're a mum... (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Steve Smith

Sun 6th Sep 2009 16:46

Passion, humour , intellect and craft! Marge Simpson meets Sylvia Plath and makes her laugh!
Steve Smith

Comment is about It's hard to be a poet when you're a mum... (blog)

Original item by Isobel

Steve Smith

Sun 6th Sep 2009 16:26

Good poetry - signs that point in two directions at once.
Steve Smith

Comment is about WHAT THE HOROSCOPE SAYS (blog)

Original item by Rodney Wood

Steve Smith

Sun 6th Sep 2009 16:23

This is a poignant and pwerful narrative. Captures so many aspects of the grieving experience..
Steve Smith

Comment is about MOTHER OF THE DISAPPEARANCE (blog)

Original item by Rodney Wood

Jon Ridgeway

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 15:30

These are wonderful comments! The title of my masterpiece comes from my belief that hope will triumph over adversity, just as perfect love drives out fear! Authorities may be frightened but lovers choose ffffrrrreeeeeeeeddoomm!!!!

Comment is about Hope (blog)

Original item by Jon Ridgeway

Dave Morgan

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 13:00

Hey Val, send me next time X

dave

Comment is about A Mothers Soliloquy (blog)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Janet

Sun 6th Sep 2009 12:59

Just spotted Isobel's comment on this and to be honest i'm not sure you should enlighten us.
It states in the first comment that this is NOT a true experience although i know my own comment was based on the writer as being the character.
Looking at it again bearing Isobels comment in mind i think it can be taken in two different ways and should be left to the imagination of the reader because that is part of what good poetry is. Showing a scenario and letting the reader fill in for themselves what it means.
It can reach more than one section of society this way.

Janet.x

Comment is about That cough (blog)

Original item by Cat P

Dave Morgan

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Sun 6th Sep 2009 12:58

Three spires? Litchfield? Dr Johnson? Or am I barking?

Comment is about Pointless 5 (blog)

Janet

Sun 6th Sep 2009 12:50

Hi John,
thanks for your explanation of 'Hog.'
My ignorance of poets and where they come from is apparent. I do however enjoy reading the greats such as Dylan Thomas and many others.

I really found your comment interesting as to how you write and can relate to what you say. I too enjoy picking up the pen intuitively and sometimes almost with some urgency of the need to write something down. I also agree that it will be flawed because the ego comes in to play regardless of the natural flow.
Do you find that it is often when you attempt set out to write poetry deliberately that it appears weaker? Lacking in true inspiration from within?

Thanks again,
Janet.x

Comment is about John Darwin (Poet profile)

Original item by John Darwin

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