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John Coopey

Sat 5th Mar 2011 18:01

Hello Lynn. Thanks for your comments on Fix.
It does seem to be a lot harder being a parent now the kids have grown up.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:59

I haven't heard it, but I love the page version. Situations that have pathos can turn on a word to bathos. Perhaps that what reading it aloud does, by the intonations. Real humour is always edged with sharp truths. I think this work is super and so relate-able.

Comment is about Something Old, Something New (blog)

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John Coopey

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:54

Thanks for your comments on Fix, Cynthia.
You're right about the grammar. In perfprmance I retain the singular "was" but replace "and" with "or".
It did seem a whole lot easier being a good dad when the kids were little!

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:49

Janet, I'm still not sure what this is all about. I don't see 'cutting hair', more like 'losing it' in 'the time it takes to grow an inch of grey'. I think it is far more devastating than just a snip job. And the bold beauty embraced by the final lines, the bravery and confidence, is very gripping. And I'm probably 'out to lunch' with this idea.

Comment is about Five, six, seven, eight... hair! (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:41

You are so good. I think this has real depth with thought and wit. I like its flow as though mumbled over the fourth pint, still drawing on an educated mind.

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winston plowes

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:36

Do you remember the Numskulls in the Beano? More seriously another classic Marianne. Well done. Win x

Comment is about Cerebratorium (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:33

Fabulous. Amazingly novel, and completely 'sucking in' the reader to follow your metaphorical ideas.

Comment is about Cerebratorium (blog)

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Graham Sherwood

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:30

Marianne I thought this was one of your best so far. You seem to have unravelled a bit so that you let us further inside (or am I just getting a little less thick).
Waltzing in nausea, and I particularly like the way you handled a tricky couple of lines
"too tight is the outside,and too loose is what is in"
Very well done again and always admire your work.

Comment is about Cerebratorium (blog)

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:28

Great story told with verve and skillful crafting. Super diction.

Comment is about Knowing When To Surrender (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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winston plowes

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:28

Quite a collection of words Gus. Burnt out gas blue fantastic. win x

Comment is about Brightlight Bad Dream (blog)

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winston plowes

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:24

Spring is in the air... Steady Philipos! Win

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:19

I, also, know exactly what you are saying. And it goes well past twenty-one. Very well expressed. Small point: change 'was' to 'were' since you are referring to two persons. Or - change 'and' to 'or'.... either way.

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Cynthia Buell Thomas

Sat 5th Mar 2011 17:10

I thought it time to 'lighten up' a bit, in the interests of balanced sanity.

Comment is about Tiny Talk (blog)

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Winston (Admin)

Sat 5th Mar 2011 16:44

Hi Michael, Welcome to our site. Hope you enjoy exploring and contributing to it. Winston

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Julian (Admin)

Sat 5th Mar 2011 15:04

Speak for yourselves. In my case, such a shame it does not grow back!
Perhaps that is why I have managed to "let go" so many lovers?

Comment is about Five, six, seven, eight... hair! (blog)

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Isobel

Sat 5th Mar 2011 12:12

This reminds me of that South Pacific song 'I'm going to wash that man right out of my hair'. There is something very therepeutic about shedding hair - it does lighen the soul in some odd way - such a shame it all has to grow back.

I didn't like the title - would have preferred something more tied into the letting go of a lover or the past. I do like the idea being linked to the cutting of hair though. x

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David Franks

Sat 5th Mar 2011 11:56

"Like they too have given up on poetry." (Lucy)...typing prose, hitting the return button a few extra times, and calling it "poetry". And, in China, they need a socialist revolution to get rid of the "Chinese Capitalist Party"!

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 11:07

How lovely, John, sad but true, agree with Dave's comments about this being effective in its simplicity. x

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 11:03

Hi Ann, thank you for recent comments on my poems, you are very kind. (By the way, forgot to say, we both love palaminos!)
Just read your " Lament for a dead badger", I so identified with that one, as the times we drive past bloodied animals when out and about, and just want to bury them all, but so impractical in our busy lives... Love, Lynn xx

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 10:52

Hi again, Petrova, just been reading a few of yours, and have to say I really enjoyed Butterfly, Sunday and Waking Whispers, they are beautiful, and I shall have to read more...

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 10:41

Hi Petrova, thank you so much for your kind comments on "Knowing When to Surrender", much appreciated. Lynn x

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 10:39

Hi Banksy, thank you for your comment on my latest, I too am hoping it was really true x

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 10:38

Thank you everyone, I thought that some would probaly have heard the story before. And I certainly hope it is true too, Banksy x

Comment is about Knowing When To Surrender (blog)

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 10:34

Hi Elaine, thank you so much for your kind comments on "Railway robbery that never was". Much appreciated L xx

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 10:30

Beautiful, Stef, agree with all your other deserving comments on here xx

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 10:27

Love this, Stef, sadly beautiful and leaves me wondering...Luv Lynn xx

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Lynn Dye

Sat 5th Mar 2011 10:23

Really enjoyed this, Dave, so well written. x

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Original item by Dave Carr

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Isobel

Sat 5th Mar 2011 09:51

Thanks for your comment on my latest Andy. Hope you are well. xx

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Dave Bradley

Sat 5th Mar 2011 08:41

So true, John. Deceptively simple yet very effective in its simplicity.

Comment is about Fix (blog)

Original item by John Coopey

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Isobel

Fri 4th Mar 2011 23:26

Yes, this errs on the side of prose but beautifully descriptive prose - in fact a prose that shows your versatility as a writer.
This is a great snapshot of life with all its quirky imperfection. What comes across to me is the comfort found in routines, the good and the bad all mixed up in the pot.

I love the last two lines - they are beautiful. x

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Dave Bradley

Fri 4th Mar 2011 23:19

A remarkable piece of writing, Gus. It seems resonant of Beat poetry. And what IS going on when we dream?

Comment is about Brightlight Bad Dream (blog)

Original item by Gus Jonsson

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Isobel

Fri 4th Mar 2011 23:17

Thanks for your comment Gus - that is praise indeed! I think you have to know me to understand and dig that poem - for once it isn't really about language. xx

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Julian (Admin)

Fri 4th Mar 2011 23:01

Thanks for your commment on the catweazley review/poem/blog/thingy, Elaine. I appreciate your pieces above, especially the idea of the nagging clock; all nicely understated. Thank you.

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garside

Fri 4th Mar 2011 22:38

Hi Marianne

will email you

Comment is about Cerebratorium (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Ray Miller

Fri 4th Mar 2011 19:53

Dave.The rhythm is superb, lot of the rhymes are good. If funeral were plural that would that would accentuate her singularity. You've spelt Andy Gray wrong.

Comment is about Natasha (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

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Philipos

Fri 4th Mar 2011 18:57

Re: Friday Chill - Barcelona eh! Lucky thing spent time in Ibiza once - appreciate your comments and pointing out the typo x

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Gus Jonsson

Fri 4th Mar 2011 18:52

Isobel I just love this poem... IMHO of course I think Its the very best you have written.

No matter trala


Love you, love the poem to bits xx


Gus xx

Comment is about Something Old, Something New (blog)

Original item by Isobel

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Petrova Fairhurst

Fri 4th Mar 2011 18:05

Lovely images Philipos, & since I am chilling in a bar in Barcelona, very apt!!

I enjoyed your use of offset rhymes - something I like doing myself. I wonder though, do you mean couch rather than coach? Lol! x

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Original item by Philipos

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Petrova Fairhurst

Fri 4th Mar 2011 18:01

Ah, lovely, yes I've heard the tale before too! Well written, I like your style :) x

Comment is about Knowing When To Surrender (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Fri 4th Mar 2011 17:51

a nice topsy-turvy poem that works out well in the end-thanks.x

Comment is about My souls new role (blog)

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Dave Bradley

Fri 4th Mar 2011 17:13

A tour de force of the imagination. It is the imagination isn't it? If not, the tabloids may be interested.

Comment is about Natasha (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

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Patricia and Stefan Wilde

Fri 4th Mar 2011 17:07

back in funny form Lynn!thanks-Stefxx

Comment is about Knowing When To Surrender (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Anthony Emmerson

Fri 4th Mar 2011 16:48

Hi Dave,

Immediately I was drawn into the Gilbert & Sullivan rhythm of this fascinating portrait. Very well crafted with great attention to detail; and like most good poems, you leave the reader wanting to know more.

Clever stuff.

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Natasha (blog)

Original item by Dave Carr

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Anthony Emmerson

Fri 4th Mar 2011 16:44

Hi w3inston,

Thanks for reading Neil's story. It has always had a macabre and sad fascination for me. Hope all is well with you. i see your list of credits seems to be rapidly lengthening - well done!

Regards,
A.e.

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Philipos

Fri 4th Mar 2011 16:31

Hi Marianne - do appreciate your commenting on this - will keep a look out for your book at Waterstones xx

Comment is about THE PARK BENCH. (blog)

Original item by Philipos

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Philipos

Fri 4th Mar 2011 16:21

Hi Marianne - do appreciate your commenting on The Park Bench - will keep a look out for your book at Waterstones xx

Comment is about Marianne Daniels (poet profile)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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Banksy

Fri 4th Mar 2011 15:25

I've heard this damn-fine story before - I really hope it's true. B

Comment is about Knowing When To Surrender (blog)

Original item by Lynn Dye

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Marianne Louise Daniels

Fri 4th Mar 2011 14:46

this is top quality writing Philipos, the last few lines - so bitten. I love the internal alliteration particularly in the first stanza.

Comment is about THE PARK BENCH. (blog)

Original item by Philipos

Janet Ramsden

Fri 4th Mar 2011 14:25

Thanks for pointing out the typo Laura - sorted now :-)

a last verse eh? ah but that's probably because you like even numbers. I prefer odds ;-)
Thanks for comment.x

Comment is about Five, six, seven, eight... hair! (blog)

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Anthony Emmerson

Fri 4th Mar 2011 14:08

Hi Marianne,

There's certainly a great deal packed into your cerebral space!

I always admire the skill involved in expressing the universal with new images or language. And I would certainly agree - we do need our own inner space. Especially liked these lines:

Up to our knees, we need,
a soft press of dark red,

for their sonority. That really is some shag pile!

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Cerebratorium (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

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