Wed 8th Sep 2010 21:16
I couldn't read this cos i couldn't find my reading glasses - but i'm sure it's very good!
Comment is about watching sparrows (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Wed 8th Sep 2010 21:14
Thanks everyone x
Comment is about Double talk (blog)
Original item by Antonionioni
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 8th Sep 2010 21:07
Fantastic poem, John. The theme is immense, yet captured so succinctly with the power of a blow in the face that I just gulped, as though I had been hit myself.
Comment is about The Psychology of Doodles (blog)
Original item by John Togher
Wed 8th Sep 2010 21:00
This is outstanding. Ending is a killer. You do write like a 'bullet', straight to the heart. There is nothing 'simple' about your work, ever.
Comment is about old friend (blog)
Original item by Banksy
Wed 8th Sep 2010 20:58
Thank you Cynthia. I do have lots of sparrows in my garden, yes. But do all take on board that the poet is not necessarily writing about herself or indeed her neighbourhood sparrows!
Wed 8th Sep 2010 20:57
Banksy, how strange. I hardly understand Bite the Bullet myself, and I wrote it. I could expound at length, not one bit sure where my 'explanation' would be going, let alone whether it has an ending. You should relate; you write very much like this - in wide-open scenarios.
Comment is about Banksy (Poet profile)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 20:50
Perhaps 'a sodden woman sitting on a bench in autumn watching sparrows' reaps even more empathy. It would certainly imply 'ridiculous'. This is a good poem, and a good umbrella theme too, Ann: LOVE IS. You are so fortunate to still have sparrows; Sale is completely barren.
Wed 8th Sep 2010 20:34
You've really made me chuckle now. Hadn't noticed just how Francine could street talk - but now you mention it...zut alors...
You've had some interesting girlfriends Banksy - she wasn't the same one that was heavily kinky by any chance?
It's just as well you don't mind friendly banter on your poems - it's all I seem capable of at the mo! xx
Wed 8th Sep 2010 20:26
Isobel - "prick me" ?...
Aw - you're being a tease now, and
I'd never heard it used as a verb. BTW - why does Francine revert to mid-atlantic street-talk when she's riled ? :)
Boring story alert ! - I had a girlfriend many moons ago who used to talk reet posh as she'd been to some French/Swiss finishing school, but it was hilarious when she got mad because she'd revert to this really broad scouse "you fuck'n twats all of youse etc" & the madder she got the more hilarious it became (she didn't think it was very funny though)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 19:18
Banksy - cut me and I might bleed, prick me and I probably wouldn't feel it...
Wed 8th Sep 2010 19:16
You are quite possibly right Ann. It's just that I don't associate that mundanity of conversation with a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship - much more a long term married thing - and even then... don't think I ever regaled my ex husband with the contents of my stomach for the day. Hey ho - I do my best to interpret...
Wed 8th Sep 2010 19:00
hi Ann, Nice snapshot... ending better still. loved this little one. Win x
Comment is about camille, emily and me (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 18:58
Feather light , yet heavy... I like that. thankyou Anne. Win x
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (Poet profile)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 18:55
Hi Iso. I have done the arms and legs thing in the window. but actually in the actual harry worth window. I was a fan. Win x
Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Wed 8th Sep 2010 18:54
Been there done that. And actually I have been to the actual harry Worth window and done it there! Win
Wed 8th Sep 2010 18:52
Hi Banksy. Thx 4 Haiku comments. Win
Wed 8th Sep 2010 18:08
That sounds like a smartass comment to me, Isobel - give it to him good
Wed 8th Sep 2010 17:08
Very intriguing, John.
What I am most focused on is his 'chaotic spiral without end', and the last verse:
'As I put down the phone
I slowly erase you
like the darkness rubs out the day.'
I see these as signs that he wants out... The chaotic spiral without end represents how he sees his life, and 'I slowly erase you' represents his wanting to get rid of her somehow... Hmmm...
Wed 8th Sep 2010 16:34
Hi Andy, thank you so much for kindly commenting on my last two blogs. Cheers, Lynn xx
Comment is about Andy N (Poet profile)
Original item by Andy N
Wed 8th Sep 2010 16:29
Hi Cynthia, thank you very much for your lovely, kind comments on Deceived (She Bites the Bullet) With warm regards, Lynn xx
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (Poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Wed 8th Sep 2010 16:28
Surely the two people are on the phone to each other so there's no confusion Isobel? I'm thinking that the chap is so familiar with the (presumably) lady on the other end of the line he is picturing her with her favourite cushion etc, and knows her so well he can imagine exactly what she is drawing. As to the stars in the eyes, they are the eyes of a clown - so maybe not so good!
Wed 8th Sep 2010 16:18
Thank you for your lovely comments, Cynthia, Andy and Stefan.
I did once throw a yoghurt at my other half, but that was more in fun - it left my hand before I'd had time to think!
Comment is about Deceived (She Bites the Bullet) (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Wed 8th Sep 2010 16:16
haha - were you ever a "babe"??
Wed 8th Sep 2010 16:10
Lol, Andy, I can't say it's my usual style, but thought I'd try it here! Thanks for comment, glad you enjoyed. xx
Stefan, thank you as always for your support. xx
Comment is about Biting the Bullet (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 15:44
You know you are getting old when you remember Harry Worth and can still do the mirror arm and leg action... adimttedly I was a babe in arms...
Wed 8th Sep 2010 15:41
I've thought about the phone some more. I suppose you must be mentally disconnecting - that is probably quite a significant line.
Wed 8th Sep 2010 15:23
This is really good John. I like the subtle way the doodles highlight the underlying currents under the mundane conversation. Very ominous that she sees you with stars in your eyes, and you "slowly erase" her when its finished!
Wed 8th Sep 2010 14:58
Oh God this could only have been written by a man! Love it Dave, and the sentiment it invokes, but Ive never known nature be quick or slick!
However the protective feeling you have for your newborn is beautifully drawn.
Comment is about The Moment (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Wed 8th Sep 2010 14:56
Wow ! - at last Cyn - one I can both unnerstand and unashamedly heap praise upon. xx
(because of the former)
Comment is about Bite the Bullet (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 14:50
I really like this a lot. You've implied so much about two people and their relationship, just by their doodles. x (Mine are always spirals coming off more spirals. God knows what that means about me!)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 13:44
I prefer this to 'Paper' - same underlying theme but expressed more subtly.
Not sure how it has ended up being her on the phone and then you putting it down at the end. The very different perceptions of each other are neatly described in the doodle idea though.
It works well as a poem. x
Wed 8th Sep 2010 13:10
Profound messages indeed - that the majority of men can't handle committment or long term relationships! Love the whimsical ending also.
So glad you are on board. x
Wed 8th Sep 2010 12:41
hiya john...could you send me that turkish pulling poem please. My car is very dirty and needs washing again (it has a couple of marks on it)...will have to go see the lovely abdul x
Comment is about John Darwin (Poet profile)
Original item by John Darwin
Wed 8th Sep 2010 11:23
Good morning Mrs H-hope alls well with you and yours-best regards-Stef-xx
Comment is about bernadette herbertson (Poet profile)
Original item by bernadette herbertson
Wed 8th Sep 2010 11:21
Good morning lovely Odessa Lady! warm regards to you-and yours!hope you have a nice peacful day-see you soon Larisa-love-Stefan-xx(M-xx)
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (Poet profile)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Wed 8th Sep 2010 11:10
Hi Greg... thanks for comments on my recent haiku, If I have done what you say then I have done a good job. Economy of words with maximum meaning could be a good haiku writters motto. Win
Comment is about Greg Freeman (Poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Wed 8th Sep 2010 10:33
Steven, I thought I had left a comment, but obviously not. I think this is really good with many outstanding lines. I like the conversational style too, and the ordering of the stanzas. One suggestion perhaps: 'Dying' is used in a slang sense, perhaps by intention to really infer 'Death', but maybe you did mean 'Longing'. "Longing' might be a very apt word here, that would pull all the ideas together. Entirely my opinion.
Comment is about Same Old Tired Shit (blog)
Original item by Steven Kenny
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:47
A great read Andy. You are at home in this style mate. Win
Comment is about First Holiday in Ireland (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:45
Agree with Greg here Jackie, I like the way the colours weave throughout, makes it very vivid. And I like the form too, read aloud it washes back and forth - like Mediterranean waves - very evocative.
Hope you're well?
Comment is about Lemon trees (blog)
Original item by Jacqueline King
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:44
Some great scenes in this mixture of strong images Andy. not sure how you intend it to be performed ? it would make a great song maybe. Win
Comment is about Chamber Music XIII (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:40
Hi Andy, Thanks for your kind words re my recent haiku posting. Whilst you are spot on with your comments on this one (In that the reader gets a snapshot and is left in suspense) I don't thik this is always the case with haikus. Win x
Wed 8th Sep 2010 09:38
Thanks for your comments Greg, on my other poem aswell, makes you feel like plodding on :)
Comment is about English rain (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:52
No, it's not rubbish at all, Jackie, rather a great collection of images!
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:49
Just stumbled upon this, Jackie. A lot of tears in this - "desperate sheets," "saddened clouds", "shuddering silence". I like it, although as a keen if unsuccessful gardener I usually welcome the rain!
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:23
close to a song this Dali in places, I must admit - reminds me of my last train journey to London (the other week).. it has that long, endless feel to me!
Comment is about ALMOST ALONE ON PLANET LONDON (blog)
Original item by Dali
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:19
great use of language here again Marianne, must admit i thought it was going to carry on for a bit longer than i thought it would be (always a good idea to catch the reader out - lol)..
nice stuff again! x
Comment is about Harpy (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:18
the note at the end was a wise move, dave but tone wise, the piece is a tender and soft, gentle and understated (at least to me).
love it, m8
(I am still working on my bite to bullet piece - you do realise there is a track by Machinehead who are a really loud rock band called this don't you??? lol)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:17
Hi - thanks very much for the comments. B
Comment is about reading the papers (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:16
i have a similar opinion like Jo here, Marianne as in the fact i don't have a clue what is going on with the narrative, but the language is brilliant... the first line for example 'Affectionate and shapely fingers, forking fast but sometimes falling feline' which is a terrific opening for example..
top stuff, Marianne (Would hate to have to try and perform this however!) x
Comment is about The Eighty Eight Handshake (blog)
Wed 8th Sep 2010 08:13
Hi Cynthia - particularly like the ending here.. Nice one and great stuff on the rest of the piece also! x
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