Tue 6th Apr 2010 09:19
Lol!It'll be a publishing launch spesh again....you get a free copy though but I have my doubts whether there'll be an open mic that night at all.
Thanks for the comment on Lucy by the way.
Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:23
Powerful piece, Natalie.. You may want to make the font size bigger next time for a partially sightened bugger like me, that was hard to read x
Comment is about Saying Goodbye (blog)
Original item by Natalie Amy Parkinson
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:21
good title, affi... where did you get that from?
enjoyed it x
Comment is about Like a hand at the moment of Death (blog)
Original item by Affia Mustafa
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:20
lovely... a lovely one to make you smile.. sleepl sloes is wonderful in particular.. x
Comment is about Lucy (blog)
Original item by Rachel McGladdery
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:19
blimely, m8.. this is powerful stuff.. loved it - nothing else i can add (a rariety for me).
Comment is about Becoming Real (blog)
Original item by Kealan Coady
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:17
nice piece, made even better but the way you break down the last few lines - really gives a sense of unreality and the use of the word void is stunning at the end like in film scripts, fade to black...good one x
Comment is about Void (blog)
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:16
for some reason this makes me think of Charles Bukowski for some reason.. God knows why however.
Nice slice of life poem and it went in a direction i wasn't expecting! x
Comment is about One bite was not enough... (blog)
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:15
does the middle in the second stanza need a !.
Top Banana otherwise. Is this about Vampires or something deeper?
Comment is about Invisible (blog)
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:14
ooh. nice one - affi.. Perhaps if you were to re-jig, i would do the swear word in BLOCKS or BOLD as the word hisses at the end..
Enjoyed this hugely.
Comment is about Didier (blog)
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:11
I agree with Jo here. I could have never had the guts to share this on here. You're a brave man m8 in particular if this is the truth as it certainly appears like it is.
The circular affects over my own cloak of shame brings it to a nice conclusion. Perhaps for just changing the pace on the first 'my own cloak of shame' i would remove the 'own' just to see if that changes it round a bit and leaves the second one with even more impact.
keep em coming although - enjoyed this.
Comment is about Dysphoria (blog)
Original item by Steven Kenny
Tue 6th Apr 2010 08:08
if you hadn't put the painting in there, kathyn - i would quizzed you over the use of mono lake as it would have being a curious way off finishing the poem.
Not sure otherwise, if you need to put broods on a separate line as I think it flows better being put with the previous line.
Enjoyed it otherwise - keep em coming! x
Comment is about A window in. (blog)
Tue 6th Apr 2010 07:46
Sorry that you and your family have had to go through this Natalie. There is so much love and tenderness expressed in this poem and the next one too. Take care and good luck with everything. xx
Tue 6th Apr 2010 07:03
Lovely Rach. xx
Tue 6th Apr 2010 03:07
Good poem Steven, and the one you did before this one, 'Cracks'. They feel quite raw. Jo
Tue 6th Apr 2010 02:42
Your God poem makes me smile : )
Comment is about Fassbinder (Poet profile)
Original item by Fassbinder
Tue 6th Apr 2010 00:31
Thank you Cynthia :)
Isobel, thank you for your comments, yes obviously poetry is born from the poet's experiences and ideologies and thus reflect his/her culture whether conservative or liberal it will have some indication in the poem...
I agree with you, listening to french people speak makes me melt! I am learning the language and am constantly blown away by it. Finally, a recording of my voice reading the poem will be posted by Paul soon.
thanks again to both of you for showing interest.
Comment is about Unsuited by Fred Holland translated by Fatima Al Matar (blog)
Original item by Poetry in Translation Group
Tue 6th Apr 2010 00:18
I would disagree with you Cynthia. Art reflects life and thoughts. If we are to engage with poetry, how can we possibly divorce ourselves from the emotions it arouses. If we failed to discuss that then we restrict ourselves to commenting on just the dry bones technique of a poem. I don't think Augusta and I have crossed swords at all; just expressed differing opinions.
If anything had upset me overly in this poem, I wouldn't have bothered commenting at all - that is my new policy. I just slipped into opinion mode after reading other comments...
Comment is about In A House Called 'Heaven' (blog)
Original item by Augusta Darling
Tue 6th Apr 2010 00:01
You have an interesting style Beulah. It is fascinating the way you end a sentence/meaning with a word that then starts off another one - disconnected but connected thought. That perhaps represents how you perceive on line relationships. You are right in some ways to maintain a guard or alternatively develop a thicker skin. People can disappoint you. You think they are one thing and then find they are something else - just as you yourself probably disappoint others. It is an odd, artificial world. It can bring a lot of comfort in lonely times though. I would recommend getting out onto the performance scene if you can - that turns cyber friends into real people - so lovely to be able to do that.
Comment is about no connecting(for Janet and all loud writers whom I love...without connection) (blog)
Original item by Beulah
Mon 5th Apr 2010 23:47
What a beautiful style you have! Taking Down The Tree House is especially evocative.
Comment is about Colin Watts (Poet profile)
Original item by Colin Watts
Mon 5th Apr 2010 23:45
Well I'm glad to see you back and posting! I might chance the May one. It should be warm by then. I could take a sleeping bag and a cardboard box and camp out in the hope of getting a spot on the open mic. I might also bring a bag of peanuts to chuck at the compere...
Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (Poet profile)
Mon 5th Apr 2010 23:23
Gosh Lisa this is powerful and goes deep. If it is autobiographical, as I suspect it is, it must have cost a lot to put it down in writing and share it. It is striking that it is posted so close to Rachel McGladdery's Lucy which is all about the loving parenting we should all have a right to expect. The two works are like light and dark - the two sides of parenting.
I hope you can work through the issues. A dear friend had a father like yours and couldn't - a long and sad story - but it sounds like you are doing better at coming to terms with it than he did
Comment is about My Father's Arm (blog)
Original item by Lisa Milligan
Mon 5th Apr 2010 23:14
Wocha mean "whimsy"? I put a lot of thought into this! It comes form my training - I was indentured.
Thanks for the post - really liked your most recent blog entry. I think I commented on its page.
Comment is about Dave Bradley (Poet profile)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Mon 5th Apr 2010 23:01
Another enjoyable bit of whimsy and good observation John. I finally ended up with a dentist I liked, but Letitia had to go back to Spain. Such a pity.
Comment is about A Trip to the Dentist (blog)
Original item by John Coopey
Mon 5th Apr 2010 23:00
This poem, like some of your others, has a hint of the paranoid about it.
Mon 5th Apr 2010 22:58
A warming read - beautifully put.
Mon 5th Apr 2010 22:45
Hello Natalie, welcome to WOL and it's good to read your work. Often the deepest emotions bring out the finest words. Welcome, Graham.
Comment is about Natalie Amy Parkinson (Poet profile)
Mon 5th Apr 2010 22:20
You should try holding them by the testicles (dentists, that is) - it encourages mutual consideration.
Mon 5th Apr 2010 22:17
It certainly made for some of the easier rhymes!
Mon 5th Apr 2010 21:52
I don't think I've ever met a dentist I have warmed to. They seem to be rather a smug, superior bunch. Perhaps that is because they are used to no-one being able to give it back...
An amusing observation, John.
Mon 5th Apr 2010 21:49
I love this - it is so life affirming! I can so identify with it. Mine has seen 6 spring times (I love that expression) and is normally followed by one of 10. That first snuggle is divine and yes they do seek out the warmest most intimate areas - humans at their most pack like. It's when arguments occur over ownership of duvet that it all gets a bit fraught...
Mon 5th Apr 2010 21:01
Blimey! One football match has already produced two poems in 48 hours. There's a statistic for Motty to ponder
Mon 5th Apr 2010 20:56
This is so true, John! They have us in their power. It really made me laugh
Mon 5th Apr 2010 20:53
I say A slam for all. Slam!
Mon 5th Apr 2010 20:33
*******BUTTONS EASTER EGG PRIZE GIVING *******
As stated in the small print, I bought an egg and ate it for you. This is my account of eating it!
Ok , if you're sitting comfortably, we'll begin...
First I ran my fingernail around the rim of the box flap, I slowly prised up the lid and slid my hand in to grab hold of the plastic inner....the heat from my fingertips misted it a little...I opened up the plastic to reveal an egg, wrapped in foil, I slowly raised it to my nose to get a whiff of the aroma, caressed the foil and then found the overlap, I teased the foil from the chocolate underneath, revealing it bit by bit, then I could contain myself no longer, pummelled it, kneaded it with frenzied hands till finally..it broke , not into two neat halves but into fragments, each one as chocolatey as the next...then I ate it all...with 2 cups of tea....I gave the buttons away to the kids who were looking at me plaintively as it was corned beef hash for tea and they were sorely disappointed.
That was your Easter Egg, hope you enjoyed it as much as me... I feel thoroughly sick. :)
Comment is about Tommy Carroll (Poet profile)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Mon 5th Apr 2010 20:28
scramble brains..i mean eggs in a satellite dish..I finally laughed out loud! refreshing and on form. true. ahem, is it practise or practice? my first note.
Comment is about Let's All Diss Allusion (blog)
Mon 5th Apr 2010 20:25
Hi Isobel,Where have I been???? I've been to hell in a hand basket...the brink...the dizzy limit...well ok then I've been a bit depressed lol, bouncing slowly back now. I am reading at another couple of publication launch events at That Preston one on April 20th and one May 25th if you fancy chancing it....
Mon 5th Apr 2010 19:07
Hey Affia, i like this, its to the point and describes well what it feels like when you can't get your words out,
Mon 5th Apr 2010 19:03
LOL! What's the offside rule again?
Mon 5th Apr 2010 18:55
We haven't got grandkids yet Dave, but I can see the relief our parents when it's time to take our kids home.
Like Ray says, that's cool -the shame of the finishing line. Spot on!
Comment is about Family weekend (blog)
Mon 5th Apr 2010 18:37
Now the buzzing has stopped
I'm horny for your flesh, your zest
You are my savious, I see
your face in my mirror
light of my life
Comment is about Get Creative! (article)
Mon 5th Apr 2010 18:17
The pen can be wielded liken to a sword Cynthia but I say again this poem carries no real message or malice, instead of which it carries only that of the mischievous creativity that lurks somewhere within my inner most depths..
The fantasy is a dream like sequel, surreal sexual escapism all built around the image of the beautiful young lady sat upon the red leather Chesterfield.
I agree with you entirely that the forum of WOL is not for anything other than poetry prose and the all things similar.. My poems are usually nothing more than spiralling dreamscapes and pure fantasy bonded to a strong instinctive sexual backdrop. I am happy to paint all of my words in strong bright colours and am constantly experimenting with both the visual aspects of verse as well as the poetic construction of the written..
Hey Ho, Cynthia thank you for most encouraging comments once again, the dinner bells fast approach, that’s me back to my ‘Saddle of Lamb’…and a glug or three.
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (Poet profile)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Mon 5th Apr 2010 18:16
Mon 5th Apr 2010 16:59
Hi Cynthia, thanks for that! Caught a little typo that shouldnt have been there! but its interesting you alluded the glass stanza to passage of time, i didnt even notice it! the story behind this is about a man who comes into a pub i often go to, he carries drumsticks and mutters to himself while walking in and out. Quite sad to watch.... but thanks for reading! xx
Comment is about The Footage Man (blog)
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Mon 5th Apr 2010 15:02
This shows much imagination, clarity of form and well-chosen words to express the mood and the tone. I find the last verse a bit convoluted, not sure which noun goes with which verb. The 'glass' stanza is interesting to denote the passage of time. Am I missing something else intended?
Mon 5th Apr 2010 14:44
The second verse is 'quotable', the highest praise I can give. I'll never forget the first time someone said that to me.
Mon 5th Apr 2010 14:25
You wield a strong pen, Augusta, and you do it with compelling technique. The subject matter is fair game (so to speak) as art imitates life here. In my opinion, this poem addresses a particular which does not connote the general, nor intends to. I think it is unnecessarily biased to have specified 'France' or even Roman Catholicism. Surely it is of greater significance to appreciate such sexual tastes are universal in all social arenas. The last line stings deep, partly because the chosen words are so beautiful in themselves. For me, the issue of celibacy is of no concern in this poem.
In this venue, I think comments should stick entirely to the poetry, and nothing else. Contentious conversations should have a private airing in another place.
Mon 5th Apr 2010 14:08
to the tune of darkly aging noire
the lamp danced shadows to the wall
as busy as the decor of a welsh woman's flat
all ornament and pottery and floral thing and tat
in all its ugly gordiness the principle still holds
we attach to things precious life like pirates horde gold
when that life is just the memories in the objects that we kept
when we grow old and our footsteps are echoes in the hall
the lamp dances shadows to the wall
that show that time goes by
Mon 5th Apr 2010 13:56
Stefan, (and Win) you are so right, of course. 'What is poverty?' is likely the biggest question in the world because it transcends just the physical, and must be applied also to the mental, emotional, social and spiritual realms. This poem tried only to use some 'specific' situations to indicate the 'general' in our privileged Western society. I am not the least surprised by your reaction; it was mine too, because I am a global citizen. I am puzzled by the official definition of the 'poverty line' in the UK.
I do have the answering companion piece called 'Joy Is'.
Comment is about Poverty Is (blog)
Mon 5th Apr 2010 11:25
Yes, thanks for the Ronaldo poem - I don't think I caught it first time round.
The joke went (you've probably heard it) that Real wanted their £80m back when they heard that you could get big girl's blouses in Primark for £2.99.
Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)
Original item by Winston Plowes
Mon 5th Apr 2010 11:22
I thought this were great, especially "this living photo-album" and "the inner shame of the finishing line". I'm just off on a family camping holiday and even now I'm holding on to the vision of that finishing line.
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