Sun 19th Dec 2010 17:50
Hi Dave - you encapsulate the then and now disparities of 'have's and have nots in society' summarised quite succinctly in your last poetry stanza thus: recognise common humanity/that's really what God said. Churchgoers or those who pray on the Heath would agree with you I'm sure. Nicely thought through
Comment is about Christmas (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Sun 19th Dec 2010 17:48
thanks guys-I always use the ladies when I can slip in unnoticed ;)
Stef - you were loaded cos you're much older than me :D and presumably working?? I was about 7-10 & we were pretty poor - a cup of coffee was a minor luxury for me 'ardworking mum
Comment is about Casablanca (blog)
Original item by Banksy
Sun 19th Dec 2010 17:42
So you are telling me that is is his hand....pull the other one!
Sun 19th Dec 2010 17:36
hi francis thankyou for taking the time to read my piece and more so for commenting too, to be honest it was one of the easier writes ive done as the vision has been in my head for years. i wrote the piece mostly from memory and i was pleasantly surprised at how vividly i had remembered it
Comment is about Francis Barker (poet profile)
Original item by Francis Barker
Sun 19th Dec 2010 17:26
Hi Cynthia - This does resonate as a tragic tale of what if love and possibly a nostalgic memory of a first time sexual experience. It is about memories of the kind which take on a dimension of their own because what might have been is just fleetingly out of our grasp and as such should always remain part of the inner sanctum of the heart - I enjoyed reading this with its haunting take on a look back life - and as whistfully stated in your last stanza 'social structures can be (and still are very) cruel' well done
Comment is about First Love (revised) (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sun 19th Dec 2010 17:16
Ah! Spittley stubbly poems! Makes sense now! But I think I liked not knowing what you were on about! It does explain the last verse though, very well.
Comment is about This Virtual Life (blog)
Sun 19th Dec 2010 17:12
And you accuse me of being romantic, Cynthia! I could never have written anything like this - cos I could never believe in a love enduring like that. For me, true love has to have some substance for it to endure. What this couple had was a fanciful love - never really put to the test - a romantic idea maybe but hardly real.
I did find the last verse a bit out of place, I must admit. I would need to hear more poetry substantiating what is in it, to understand it fully.
I like your narrative poetry though - it is always an interesting read. x
Sun 19th Dec 2010 17:04
So I take it you are one of the 12% who know the bible story then Dave...
Lovely messages. I like the piccie also - though I might have preferred a different angle - at least the snow doesn't seem to have affected him too adversely...
Sun 19th Dec 2010 16:58
also a poem by Corso called Humanity
Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sun 19th Dec 2010 16:41
A new one. If it resonates with anyone I would be interested in a comment, to see if I'm getting anywhere, or just stagnating. The last verse is a kind of epilogue, an imposed 'relevant' commentary about societies, maybe out of place, not sure.
Sun 19th Dec 2010 16:22
Hi Cynthia Thanks again for your kind comments. I didn't know whether the traditional rhyme and metre would put people off, but I thought I needn't it to go with the very formal title - sounds a bit like John Milton! I bet he wouldn't have been as laid back as me about it all. Have now got two delightful little Muslim grandsons as well!
Comment is about Cynthia Buell Thomas (poet profile)
Sun 19th Dec 2010 16:01
Oh well, I wanted a little mystery, but not this much!It's about the life - and death - of poems, poems posted online to be specific.
Sun 19th Dec 2010 15:47
I really like this Ann - would go with what Greg says about it. It does a lovely job of linking time, place and emotion.
Thanks for commenting on 'Christmas' so quickly and positively - appreciated
Comment is about primroses and tadpoles (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Sun 19th Dec 2010 15:37
Full of warmth! I'm no christian but it gave me a bit of a glow - thanks for that!
Sun 19th Dec 2010 15:34
The death of a parent perhaps? Poignant.
Sun 19th Dec 2010 15:29
Hi Ray - yes, I think it always was two poems! Funnily enough, it came about after a writing exercise (homework for a group of writing friends) where we each picked a random word and then had to fit all of them into a piece of writing. In this version I left out a bit which had "lighthouse" and "shadow" in! But tadpoles was one of the words - in fact, it was the one that I chose! The second bit is more like conversation, and describes a memory close to my heart.
Sun 19th Dec 2010 15:06
Dunkirk oral history was bound to have quivered chins-and hearts! thanks Philipos-regards-SW
Comment is about Philipos (poet profile)
Original item by Philipos
Sun 19th Dec 2010 14:49
This is an intriguing one Ray. I am torn in my understanding of it.
It could be about the birthing of a still born. It could be about the birthing of a live child - into a living death (if that's how one views life).
It could be about letting someone go and the fact that a life is so dispensable - so easily replaced in this burgeoning planet of ours.
I'm probably totally wrong on all counts but I enjoyed it anyway.
Sun 19th Dec 2010 13:26
I too have many works that have little or no punctuation. Where it is required there they will be found. But mostly I find that many lines and line breaks are sufficiently and innately self-governing, grammatically and syntactically. I am quite taken by this particular poem because I have only seen one royal wedding on telly (that of Charles and Dianna) back in the era when I was reading 'The Secret Diaries of Adrian Mole' or thereabouts..
Comment is about Them Up There. (blog)
Sun 19th Dec 2010 12:58
the subject for a lot of people is a wound that may never heal-my Father was p.o.w in Italy about the time of the battle for Monte Cassino-according to him he had it lightly in comparison to some of his friends in Japanese hands-very moving poem-thank you.
Comment is about Plagiarised. (blog)
Sun 19th Dec 2010 11:57
Ann. I'll be a dissenting voice here. I think you have a cracking poem in the first 12 lines and don't need the rest. The last 3 lines I'd suggest:
The blackbird’s cadence slips surreptitious
between leaves of sadness,
and I'm the empty chalice on spring’s altar.
Sun 19th Dec 2010 11:46
Greg - thanks for commenting on the poem Plagiarism. I will contact you separately re: JJJ who like Johnny Walker is still going strong at 94 - who knows their paths may have crossed in bamboo glades - amazing the things you learn from talking to the regulars at Wetherspoons where he still pitches up for a daily pint or maybe two despite still driving to and from home
Comment is about Greg Freeman (poet profile)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Sun 19th Dec 2010 11:45
Greg - thanks for commenting on the poem Plagiarism. I will contact you separately re: JJJ who like Johnny Walker is still going strong at 94 - who knows their paths may have crossed in bamboo glades
Sun 19th Dec 2010 10:47
HI Ray Thought it was about time I caught up with some of yours. I must say that The Riverside Inn' Is beautifully cadenced with a wry touch of humour.
Comment is about Riverside Inn (blog)
Sun 19th Dec 2010 10:31
I liked "peering out / through bamboo glades to / recollect the plot". Interested in this, Phil, as my dad was a POW in Thailand at the hands of the Japanese. I posted a poem about it,
Sun 19th Dec 2010 10:14
heres looking at you Banksy...play it again S(L)am! oi! penny pinching 60,s? yer must be joking-I spent an effin forchoon on fab mod gear-man! loved the hending! ta-mr....B!...tee hee
Sun 19th Dec 2010 10:02
Hi - I love this Ann, every bit - I thought it was a bit "out-of-time" & seems I was right. I have one about February written a few Feb's ago - but I'm going to wait til the coming Feb to post it ! XX. B
Sun 19th Dec 2010 09:55
I enjoyed this very much, lovely rhythm. You might be better using The Ladies rather than the ladies lavs. In the poem, I mean. I'm not suggesting....
Sun 19th Dec 2010 09:52
Intriguing and thought-provoking.
Sun 19th Dec 2010 09:27
Thank you for the supporting comments on Timewise Ann - guess you get the eeriness where you live out in Cornwall eh - good to see your paw prints out here in Surrey though and thanks again
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (poet profile)
Sun 19th Dec 2010 07:41
Thank you so much for your comments on my Primroses and Tadpoles poem. I always appreciate your kind and considered comments! Stay well, and if I don't get the chance to pass this way again, as it were (your profile page!), have a good christmas! ;-)
Sun 19th Dec 2010 07:39
You capture that eerie creeping silence very well. I love the marcasite reference. Love the last verse, full of melancholy, as Greg says.
Comment is about Timewise. (blog)
Sun 19th Dec 2010 05:30
Thanks David for your comment on my poem 'Song of the Sunflower.' Your feedback is much appreciated. I shall move that poem to the blog area and put up another 'sampler' in its stead. Will be reading you again soon. Cheers, Frederick
Comment is about Dave Morgan (poet profile)
Original item by Dave Morgan
Sun 19th Dec 2010 00:52
Thank you for the comment on 'Timewise' Greg much appreciated and hope you're coping with all this snow where you are
Sat 18th Dec 2010 23:19
Melancholy one, this. Words like "slow, intermittent, wilt," and "weighed down" set the mood, along with the mournful repetition of "another day has gone". That eerie silence last thing at night (ie now!) when there's hardly any traffic, another day has gone, and, as John Lennon said, "what have you done?"
Sat 18th Dec 2010 22:27
how dare you have thrown eggs at our future queens car-and missed! lol!
Comment is about How not to write an essay (blog)
Original item by Anna McCrory
Sat 18th Dec 2010 22:19
Hi Philipos Thanks for the generous feedback on my Islam poem. I wrote this piece about two and a half years ago. At the time there was a spate of homegrown suicide bombers that were getting a lot of coverage in the media. Their videos were being shown on TV. That's what I had in mind. Since my daughter converted ten years ago - she was 14 - I've got to know a lot more Muslims who are just the same as most other people who want to get on with their lives and earn a living, although that is of course not always the popular perception. Also such a traditional iambic structure with rhymes is not necessarily flavour of the month, so it's great to get a positive response. I'll have to check your stuff out too. If Greg is impressed. I'm sure I will!
Sat 18th Dec 2010 22:17
lovely wet blanket poem-(just a jest in me auld string vest)teensy weensy alteration suggested-third verse,second line..from the unleafed tree(something and nothing really-probably nothing!)cheers Mr P.-Mr.W.
Comment is about When. (blog)
Sat 18th Dec 2010 22:02
It's enough to make one's heart melt...
Comment is about Alvin Guinessberg (poet profile)
Original item by Alvin Guinessberg
Sat 18th Dec 2010 21:58
Top, top form. Loads of beautiful lines in this, Ann. "The ice of winter cracks and melts./ Life bubbles through the water of the mere / and skeletons of trees smudge into green." Thanks for giving us this to look forward to. Psst! I think you should put it as a sample on your profile page
Sat 18th Dec 2010 19:59
Ah i really enjoyed this Larisa - lovely lyrical feel.
Comment is about Day And Night (Russian romance) (blog)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Sat 18th Dec 2010 19:56
Hi Larisa - no problem - good to hear from you again. I've not been on here much lately! I always read your poems though when I see them.
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (poet profile)
Sat 18th Dec 2010 19:45
This photo makes me wish I was there. Win X
Comment is about Jeffarama & Rachel Bond at the Tudor, Wigan December 2010 (photo)
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