Mon 5th Jul 2010 21:18
Yes, I'll throw my hat in the ring on this one - sometimes we read a poem, a verse or a line - and we all think "Shit - I wish I'd written that". Mega.
Comment is about Sister Houdini (blog)
Original item by Marianne Daniels
Mon 5th Jul 2010 21:07
Ya blimmin' cheeky sod! x
Comment is about Banksy (Poet profile)
Original item by Banksy
Mon 5th Jul 2010 21:06
Ya blimmin' cheeky sod! x
Comment is about knightmoves (blog)
Original item by Ann Foxglove
Mon 5th Jul 2010 21:05
Dearest Ann - it really is time you had a shag. :) B
Mon 5th Jul 2010 21:01
Billy is also a great reader of his own poetry
Comment is about Isobel (Poet profile)
Original item by Isobel
Mon 5th Jul 2010 20:37
I wonder whether it isn't sometimes harder to pull if you are extrememly good looking - in that men think you may be out of their league or frightened to try their luck...I do think that a lot of them are put off by a strong woman also. Hard to tone it down, I know...So what is my advice? Take an ugly pill and behave like an adoring puppet - you'll be beating them off with a shitty shovel.
Comment is about Naomi Hefter (blog)
Original item by Naomi Hefter
Mon 5th Jul 2010 20:33
and I wonder what cats dream about anyway ?
Comment is about Sleeping Lives (blog)
Mon 5th Jul 2010 20:24
Naomi - this is really great & does indeed sum up the emptiness. 10 years of wandering around the Asda aisles on my own was no fun. I could've managed without a FK but what I missed was a hug, a kiss and "that" woman smell. fingers crossed love !
Mon 5th Jul 2010 20:07
Hi Larissa, i have read your work, and i got to say there is a sincerity i like about it. its very touching and is definately no where near the pretention that much of the material on this site boasts. I hope you stay with us awhile and let us read some more of your works! i really like it.
rgds and much love
Comment is about Larisa Rzhepishevska (Poet profile)
Original item by Larisa Rzhepishevska
Mon 5th Jul 2010 19:02
I think restlessness is one of the things that distinguishes us from other apes, Dave... I've often said we would be happier without such self awareness and intelligence.
I can hear a bit of Queen (the group) echoing through this.
There is an awful lot in here I can identify with - you didn't include the dead hamster though...
Comment is about Restlessness (blog)
Original item by Dave Bradley
Mon 5th Jul 2010 18:35
I like the imagery in this, who has not given up on something they later regret having done so ? Enigmatic writing.
Comment is about Humanity (blog)
Original item by Hayden
Mon 5th Jul 2010 18:17
wow, I love this, you get such a strong sense of, a tantalising if only,it's a brilliant picture and the love me only mouth, brilliant.
Comment is about Katie is a Barmaid (blog)
Original item by Gus Jonsson
Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:49
Hi Greg, its all pondstretcher, poundworld etc now!! No Pick n Mix in there!! Cheers Jeff
Comment is about Something for Everyone (blog)
Original item by Greg Freeman
Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:43
Hi Gus, I've had a few nights like this, I think, I can't really remember! Cheers Jeff
Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:24
Naomi, I love that you have managed to turn these sentiments into a humourous rant.
Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:14
Very graphic, compulsive reading though! sometimes it's good to let rip and get it out of the system. You are right about Gemini's though we are b*stards and best avoided.
Mon 5th Jul 2010 17:10
You relate so well life's painful, sometimes desperate longing for love, acceptance and understanding.
This poem speaks volumes...
Mon 5th Jul 2010 15:45
Thanks Isobel - good point - I forgot to mention! x
Comment is about Flesh (Free Verse) (blog)
Original item by Lynn Dye
Mon 5th Jul 2010 12:50
I see you lost the 6th stanza. Thought I'd mention it cos I wouldn't want anyone to think i was talking about the current one which fits in with the rest of the poem. x
Mon 5th Jul 2010 12:43
Haha. I just can't learn to love Billy Collins but I did like your poem!
I'm now looking out for the person I want to "interrupt"
Comment is about What Billy Collins taught me about writing poetry (blog)
Original item by Alvin Guinessberg
Mon 5th Jul 2010 12:42
Succinct! Was the 6th line staled or stalled? I was just wondering if soured might relate to the milk more closely than staled?
Comment is about Forget The Forgive. (blog)
Mon 5th Jul 2010 10:16
Photographs by Gemma Lees
Comment is about Mike Robinson makes a welcome return to the Old Boar's Head, Middleton June 2010 (photo)
Mon 5th Jul 2010 10:15
Photographs by Peter Crompton
Comment is about All aboard the poetry Bus, Hebden Festival July 2010 (photo)
Mon 5th Jul 2010 08:33
Hi Graham - took on board your comments on my High Tide poem and have changed a few things, so thanks! x
Comment is about Graham Sherwood (Poet profile)
Original item by Graham Sherwood
Mon 5th Jul 2010 06:01
Just saying hello and hope you are well - and I miss you on here! xxxx
Comment is about Rachel McGladdery (Poet profile)
Original item by Rachel McGladdery
Mon 5th Jul 2010 05:59
Yea, I like this too - enigmatic, but says it all - you're never so lonely as when you're in a crowd - that's why I spend most of my time on my own! ;-) xx
Comment is about New Company (blog)
Original item by Crackling
Mon 5th Jul 2010 00:58
@Bond What has this poem got to do with you? Perhaps your rage is misplaced, perhaps you suffer from egotistical grandeur, perhaps I suffer from couldn't giva- a- shititis.
Comment is about Kensington (blog)
Original item by Tommy Carroll
Sun 4th Jul 2010 23:32
I see where you're coming from with the Leonard Cohen, but Brummie?!
Comment is about Anything Goes (blog)
Sun 4th Jul 2010 23:02
this is lovely- i know the feeling.
Sun 4th Jul 2010 22:40
Clearly Alvin, you have read my mind...
Darren... Now you are teasing me ; )
Sun 4th Jul 2010 22:17
Billy Collins? Arguably the world's best poet?
No. THE best. Although you're not so bad yourself 'Mr Guinnesberg' or should I call you...
Sun 4th Jul 2010 22:06
I just took this opportunity to read a few of Billy's poems - I love them - must try to buy a book. I can see you are heavily influenced - the one about going back into the house for a book and the sliding doors effect could have been one of yours...
Loved the one about the barking dog also (reasons not to keep a gun in the house) - he has that quirky sense of humour a reader just has to fall in love with.
Sun 4th Jul 2010 21:20
I don't know what it is about toilet-humour that's so funny, but it nearly always is.
**(too much info alert !)
I'd got the runs on holiday in Greece once after a dodgy kebab & went to one of those public toilets - always manned by a little old lady in black - who hands you ONE sheet of toilet paper & you think fuck ! my only other option's this wad of hundred drachma notes (they're worth about the same though) :)
Comment is about it seemed like a good idea at the time (blog)
Sun 4th Jul 2010 20:30
Thanks Isobel for your kind comments on "Flesh", glad you like the re-write. To be honest, I wondered about the 6th stanza myself, and couldn't decide whether to keep it in or not. It's always true people will think differently but I value your opinion, thanks again. xx
Sun 4th Jul 2010 20:00
ye cannae have 2much of a good 'thang!.....yeh baby! oh! I,ve gone all warm again-won,t tell you where-hee...hee...Stiffen-xx
Sun 4th Jul 2010 19:32
Serves you right for driving a beema. Very, very funny - you have found your niche here - you should write film scripts!
I love the idea of the sweating overweight pig in a puffa jacket - in fact every line had me laughing...
One of the funniest travelling anecdotes I can remember related to a public toilet in the train station at Pompeii. For some reason they kept it locked up but opened it when I begged them in broken Spanish (my best attempt on Italian). Unfortnately several men followed me in and were not out by the time the jailor came to lock them up again. I tried desperately to tell him there were still people in there but he was having none of it and didn't appear to understand. I heard my train coming and just had to leg it. I did feel ever so guilty though and wondered how many people missed connections that day...maybe some of them are still sat there, petrified - it was Pompeii, after all...
Sun 4th Jul 2010 18:55
heh heh made me laugh Banksey lol i used to work out in the US a lot in NC, once a flying piece of tarmac from the truck in front banged up all the bonnet bad style, but the worst was when I hit a skunk ! fortunately I was returning to the Airport at the time it nearly made me puke..... al that roasted skunk in the engine and pong coming through the air vents....
Sun 4th Jul 2010 18:50
IMO this is much stronger than the rhyming version Lynn. I think that 'and bend to kiss my breast' is a much gentler, lovlier image than what you had earlier. In both versions, I like the first two lines - a bold and sensuous introduction to your poem. I'd probably order things differently. Have the stripping off first, the eyes and the french murmurings later... You have to just love poetry - so many avenues we can take when we construct a poem...
There are still refinements you could make if you were really wanting to refine this as a piece. I would get rid of the 'Now you are..' and just say what it is happening - so it doesn't feel like a list of happenings.I'd be tempted to lose the 6th stanza also and just concentrate on the joy of sex - with all the emotional connections implicit. That's for you to decide though. Every one who reads this will give you different opinions. It is hard to know sometimes whether to offer them... not wishing to undermine at all...It is a brave subject matter - I applaud you. x
Sun 4th Jul 2010 18:31
Not sure about purpling . . . But may remove all the time checks! Got to the beach this morning and the RNLI board always has the tide times. 10.47 sounded like a good title. So I jotted it down sitting on a rock - not my special rock as that was still underwater!
Comment is about High Tide - 10.47 (blog)
Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:47
Thank you for your kind comments on "Flesh".
Just been reading your samples and latest blogs, all good stuff, especially like "Glastonbury - no more". Cheers, Lynn x
Comment is about Jeffarama! (Poet profile)
Original item by Jeffarama!
Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:30
Lol, thanks to All.
On reflection I decided the first two lines of verse 4 didn't scan well, so I have re-written these, which actually now makes him not such a multi-lingual clever dick!!! (or a language teacher, hee hee!)
Free verse version to follow...
Comment is about Flesh (blog)
Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:29
The heather and the fluttering safety flags make a good contrast to an otherwise somber and threatening vista. I think the contrast is well defined, an atmospheric and chillingly brooding piece of work. The purpling heather in the North Yorkshire moors are beautiful in late summer.
Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:21
I like purpling the hillside, but then what do I know? Lol. Good poem again, Ann x
Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:16
Hi Ann, thanks for comments on "Flesh". I often do put in the odd humorous comment, so the "too hot to handle" line was intentional, but if any of the rest sounded comical then it wasn't intended! I shall post a free verse version as well.
Lol, love your comment on him being a language teacher! My REAL guy is the one who started to snore in "Warm Embrace", so this guy could be anything really, though I did say French AFTER A FASHION! Lol, Lynn xx
Comment is about Ann Foxglove (Poet profile)
Sun 4th Jul 2010 17:12
reminds me of a shop we have next door to our chippy-a flesh n sexshop! tee...hee..SW
Sun 4th Jul 2010 16:18
To me this is a jumbo pack of descriptives too tightly crammed to be be savoured. Dancing streets, restless bedrooms, crowded queues, tousled beds etc. Too much too quickly. it sometimes sounds like a list.
Comment is about Beloved (blog)
Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas
Sun 4th Jul 2010 16:13
There are so many good and bad things about this Ann.
I think that you have diluted your killer last line by using it twice before. I hate the thought of heather "purpling" but love the chaos of waves. I think "if you were there you wouldn't last long" is clumsy but really like the woolly grey sky and the thought of staring down the raging ocean. As always Ann thoughtful stuff.
Sun 4th Jul 2010 16:05
Hello Cynthia - an epic it is - that was the feeling I got from it before I read your comment. Your telling of this story is much like an that of an age old tale. It feels more like prose/story than poem to me but that is not a criticism - my latest was a bit like that. Your voice is very passionate and I like that - humanity and love survives amidst all the chaos and horror.
Sun 4th Jul 2010 15:15
I am going to be brave and leave a comment, bearing in mind I don't know the rules of poetry etc, but I am not very good with long poems, bearing this in mind, unless they really flow, but I loved the dancing streets, I loved politics scissored flags, restless bedrooms is brilliant, I love that, I think there are a lot of good ideas, perhaps it should be slightly condensed, somehow, I don't know how, and I don't follow any rules, but am just trying to add a helpful comment, I hope, x
Sun 4th Jul 2010 14:46
Blimey, if it's not Vaughan Williams or Marilyn Manson it's just not good enough! No pleasing some people! Just kick those size 5 cloggs off and go for it! x ;-)
Comment is about I'm bored - feel like dancin' anyone? (blog)
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