Francine

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Sun 16th May 2010 18:08

Mmmm... Quelques lignes un peu risquées là dedans...
Et tu n'étais pas complètement seul quand même...
J'étais avec toi jusqu'au moment où tu as disparu - LOL

Alors... Tu es sorti ou tu t'es endormi ?

Comment is about Alone in Canada (blog)

Original item by Richard Seddon

Cate Greenlees

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Sun 16th May 2010 17:51

Or coffee cup even!! lol...

Comment is about Tosspot! (blog)

Original item by Cate

Isobel

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Sun 16th May 2010 17:40

I'm not sure you ever had it Banksy - twas but a storm in a teacup...

Comment is about Tosspot! (blog)

Original item by Cate

ray miller

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Sun 16th May 2010 17:25

Cynthia, please don't call me Mr Miller. It brings back so many unpleasant courtroom memories.I read on a thread last week a few folks bemoaning the absence of "constructive criticism". I'm trying to give some - whether you like it or not!!
So, would a child go from this: Jeez, Dad,” says the kid. “It’s a homo
In woman’s stuff! Is he crazy!”
to this:
But, Jeez, Dad,” says the boy,

“What if he doesn’t want to play anymore?

What if he doesn’t care who knows?

What if he has to be a woman?”

Myself, I think it unlikely, implausible. But I like the poem, I especially like the poetry of the first verse. It's hoi polloi, by the way.
Best Wishes, Ray

Comment is about Morning on the Mall (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Banksy

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Sun 16th May 2010 17:21

Oi !
give me back me thunder

Comment is about Tosspot! (blog)

Original item by Cate

Gus Jonsson

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Sun 16th May 2010 17:15

Superb story telling a very clever
structured play...

wonderful wonderful

Gus xx

Comment is about Morning on the Mall (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Sun 16th May 2010 17:00

I love this, Marianne. I've been a while getting back to it. So many expressions, images, devices are just plain inspiring and satisfying. 'the weather between the pestle and mortar' is fab, like so many others. You are a leader.

Comment is about THE VINDICTIVE VOWEL (or the deflated self). (blog)

Original item by Marianne Daniels

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Sun 16th May 2010 16:51

This is actually quite funny, and a great social comment. It seems to have run away with the writer like a stagecoach jolting off the road behind horses on 'uppers', completely uncontrollable by the driver. I think if this were tightened up a lot, keeping really good bits and jettisoning unnecessary stuff, it would be half as long and really super.

Comment is about Super Size Super Skinny (blog)

Original item by Kate Tym

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Sun 16th May 2010 16:33

You have a talent for the sharp and satirical. I don't know why there are no other comments. I'm looking forward to more of your work. But please don't take that as an invitation to 'dump a dozen'. (See recent Discussion thread.)

Comment is about MASS DEBATING (blog)

Original item by Peter Mowat Poetry

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Sun 16th May 2010 16:27

Good one. Like the currency of the subject. We all wonder what interviewers (and interviewees) must really be thinking as we 'read' facial expressions and body language. Great title.

Comment is about NEWSKNIGHT (blog)

Original item by Peter Mowat Poetry

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Sun 16th May 2010 16:22

Terrific, short, clever and hard-hitting. This sharp jab hits women too, make no mistake. I wonder how many readers recognized Grey Friars Bobby. Is the title maybe a bit too esoteric?

Comment is about GREYFRIARS BOABY (blog)

Original item by Peter Mowat Poetry

Francine

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Sun 16th May 2010 16:18

Very heartfelt and personal... The first and last verses are powerful.

Comment is about Borderline (blog)

Original item by Hilary Walker

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Sun 16th May 2010 16:17

I also like this,Joseph. You have some novel turns of phrase like 'exams are just observing me'; wishing for a 'heaven sent linquistic instrument' really good. And the idea of 'seventeen and still in nursery'. I truly enjoyed it. Take Mr Miller's advice. Perhaps just giving your original thoughts a bit of space before posting will strengthen them, because 'weak' words will jump out at you. It's a good policy for the seriously interested. Keep writing.

Comment is about Progressive paralysis (blog)

Original item by Joseph Kennedy

Hilary Walker

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Sun 16th May 2010 16:16

Thanks Val, I've not written anything for such a long time, but woke up yesterday with these words in my mind.

Comment is about Borderline (blog)

Original item by Hilary Walker

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Sun 16th May 2010 16:05

Spontaneous knock-out upper cut. Who cares about finesse! The champ is floored.

Comment is about Tosspot! (blog)

Original item by Cate

Cynthia Buell Thomas

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Sun 16th May 2010 15:40

Thank you all for reading such a long posting and still commenting as well. I maintain that children are often far more aware of current issues than adults are. They are all ears and eyes from the telly hours, the adults' 'private' conversations, and the 'schoolyard discussions'. My extended family has three homosexual members, all open now, one previously married with two children. His partner also has a family. Children talk freely and pointedly without shame; adults circumnavigate their conversations for many reasons.

Mr Miller, the opening verse was a deliberate 'poetical' setting of the scene, intoducing with high tone the 'hoi polloi' who make up the opinions of the general world, to contrast with the reality of the individual situation. Later these same 'people' become the reactive 'voice' of the public.

Comment is about Morning on the Mall (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Francine

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Sun 16th May 2010 15:21

Yes... I agree with TC.
You have expressed such sweet and touching sentiments here...

'But there seemed to be this one...
I admire how she wrote to me everyday...
Commitment not seen in any relationship...
She always seemed to come back and forgave...
Strong enough to see past my flaws'

Comment is about Devotion is the Motion (blog)

Original item by Josh Coates

Francine

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Sun 16th May 2010 14:50

What can I say? LOL
I love your style and wit Cate : )

Comment is about Tosspot! (blog)

Original item by Cate

Thaumaturgically Charged

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Sun 16th May 2010 14:38

Love your fluffy bunny TC XX

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (Poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Thaumaturgically Charged

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Sun 16th May 2010 14:29

I like this Josh, it is very positive in nature, and yes there are beautiful wise constant individuals out there. TC

Comment is about Devotion is the Motion (blog)

Original item by Josh Coates

Thaumaturgically Charged

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Sun 16th May 2010 13:12

Heh heh you should have dedicated it to the obsessive wankers of WOL they seem to be growing in number, or maybe the periodicity of their bilious wankery ha ha TC

Comment is about Tosspot! (blog)

Original item by Cate

Ann Foxglove

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Sun 16th May 2010 12:39

Hi James, thanks for your comment on my Ruins poem. Hope to see another poem from you soon. xx

Comment is about James Wolfe (Poet profile)

Original item by James Wolfe

James Wolfe

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Sun 16th May 2010 12:32

Thank you for your comments Ann, I'm glad you like it. Really like the ruins poem, brings back memories of childhood and the way you see the world

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (Poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Anthony Emmerson

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Sun 16th May 2010 12:06

Is this what's known as "getting your own back?" Maybe it should have been a cappucino; just think of the fun you could have had with those chocolate sprinkles.

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Tosspot! (blog)

Original item by Cate

Val Cook

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Sun 16th May 2010 12:05

An emotional and difficult poem that speaks of frustration and love."we are as one my damaged girl and me" Well written Hilary

Comment is about Borderline (blog)

Original item by Hilary Walker

Isobel

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Sun 16th May 2010 11:58

Wouldn't mind guessing where the inspiration for this one came from... masturbation is clearly a fertile subject matter.

But hey - surely you should dedicate it to someone?

LOL - love you, you crazy woman!

Comment is about Tosspot! (blog)

Original item by Cate

Cate Greenlees

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Sun 16th May 2010 11:58

Agree with everything said...a wonderful trip down memory lane.Beautifully evocative wording of a bygone age.
Cate xx

Comment is about social (blog)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Isobel

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Sun 16th May 2010 11:53

Yes - I heard this read at the Green Room in Manchester and it certainly gripped the audience. You have a great way with story telling Cynthia and you convey well the frustration and sadness of living with something that isn't easy to explain.
I would agree with Ray that the questions asked by the child, aren't that plausible. You are using the child to express your own views. That doesn't bother me too much though - since I can agree. An interesting read.

Comment is about Morning on the Mall (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Val Cook

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Sun 16th May 2010 11:48

Its an old Lancashire saying Dorinda "Piffy on a rock bun". To me it means you`ve been "stood up or left out" .

Comment is about Muriel and Me (blog)

Original item by Dorinda MacDowell

Cate Greenlees

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Sun 16th May 2010 11:44

Another intruiging one....a speciality of yours Cynthia. It highlights how hard it must be to be "different" and I think even today in this supposedly progressive society a man would have difficulty admitting to his child that he was a transvestite.
Cate xx

Comment is about Morning on the Mall (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

Cate Greenlees

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Sun 16th May 2010 11:39

Agreed! Funny and well crafted. I like the way your rhyme is not forced, it adds to the overall effect which is what good poetry is all about.
Cate xx

Comment is about Gloria (blog)

Banksy

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Sun 16th May 2010 10:57

Yeah - but it doesn't sound quite the same - Wasting the neighbours with a Qualcast.

Comment is about Today - (blog)

Original item by Banksy

Anthony Emmerson

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Sun 16th May 2010 09:53

Hi Ray,

Have to say I really liked this poke at a certain type of culture. It made me think and smile in equal measure. I'm not sure why, but it put me in mind of Alexei Sayle - or Cooper Clarke (on a really lucid day.)

Particularly enjoyed:

"she taught me French and schizophrenia when I only desired to be between her."

"there's always more people than you start off with."

"a sleazy garret, a pool of claret,
a gun in my hand and a dying arab,
the farewell note when I wake from sleep,
"Parce que, tu es un stereotype.""

It's very well crafted, with superb half-rhymes and intelligently put together. Excellent.

Regards,
A.E.



Comment is about Gloria (blog)

ray miller

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Sun 16th May 2010 09:32

"belly stuffed beer gut vomiting his bile duct" is worth the entrance money alone.I think just "shrivelled sac" would do, we get the picture.

Comment is about Not John`s Cargo (blog)

Original item by Cate

ray miller

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Sun 16th May 2010 09:23

Has potential, Joseph, needs a bit of trimming."crumbling before my eyes" for example, is a bit stale and could easily be omitted altogether as could a few commas and the "I am" before unwelcome. "Exams are just observing me" is a nice phrase and the ending is pretty good.

Comment is about Progressive paralysis (blog)

Original item by Joseph Kennedy

Olga Gerke

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Sun 16th May 2010 09:17

Hi Rachel! Thank you for your support, i really need it..

Cynthia. Thank you for your comment and it's perfectly fine, I know that poets have fragile ego, but as I am not in the habit to polish and re-work my pieces, i always agree that it would be good to put more work in them.
Andy! Nice to see you!!!! ( at least here). I think you are right about 2nd st , it lost its lightness. I will rewrite it later. X

Comment is about Sad cow (blog)

Original item by Olga Gerke

hatta

Sun 16th May 2010 07:46

Heck, thank you for reading the pome and leaving such a generous message.

Comment is about (Poet profile)

spencer

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Sun 16th May 2010 07:31

THANKS FOR THE KIND COMMENT, SOME OF MY WORK IS A TRIBUTE TO THE GREAT MAN AS HE GOT ME GOING AND I TAKE THAT COMMENT AS A BIG COMPLIMENT , JOHNNY CLARKE IS MY MATE AND AN ABSOLUTE GENT, LOVELY MAN

Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

kealan coady

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Sun 16th May 2010 05:13

Last stanza is brilliant, some people really do whore themselves ot to stereotype. I dont know how many times i read a cliche love poem and thought "what a genre slut". They think 'deep' can be found in a pond. Good piece.

Comment is about Kensington (blog)

Original item by Tommy Carroll

Tommy Carroll

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Sun 16th May 2010 04:22

Thank you Anthony- this poem still feels awkward to me, it has a dysfunctional resonance that I struggle to repair.

Comment is about Anthony Emmerson (Poet profile)

Original item by Anthony Emmerson

Chris Dawson

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Sun 16th May 2010 03:34

Thanks Ann, it's nice to be appreciated :)
Cx

Comment is about Ann Foxglove (Poet profile)

Original item by Ann Foxglove

Chris Dawson

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Sun 16th May 2010 03:32

Thanks Win, for your comment on 'Disconnected', glad you liked it.
You're producing some pretty darn good things yourself at the moment!
:)
Cx

Comment is about Winston Plowes (Poet profile)

Original item by Winston Plowes

Sophie

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Sun 16th May 2010 02:02

JOSH IT WONT LET ME POST ON YOUR MAIN PAGE.

But aww I like this poem lots. So true

Comment is about We are all the same...LOL (blog)

Original item by Josh Coates

Anthony Emmerson

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Sun 16th May 2010 01:58

Hi Val,

Thanks for your comment on "social." In essence it's pretty much a true tale, which catalogues my upbringing. I'm pleased you found it interesting.

Regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Valerie Cook (Poet profile)

Original item by Valerie Cook

Anthony Emmerson

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Sun 16th May 2010 01:10

Hi Adam,

And I wish you well with what sounds like an interesting venture. I was just wondering - out of the huge volume of work on WOL there surely must be a few that fit your bill? Have you thought about inviting submissions directly from poets whose work you have admired, or even asking if they would be prepared to submit specific poems?

Best regards,
A.E.

Comment is about Call for Submissions (blog)

Original item by AJ McKenna

Joshua Coates

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Sun 16th May 2010 01:09

Hey Sophie
Im copying you and got a page, aren't i a rebel

Comment is about Sophie Hall (Poet profile)

Original item by Sophie Hall

ray miller

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Sun 16th May 2010 00:08

I thought the opening verse was pretty good, lots of poetry in it:
Close to the concrete caves that swallow
Sunshine down their shadowy throats.Excellent.I felt that the poetry gradually became eclipsed by the need to tell the story, but it's an interesting tale.
“They’re disgusting at seven A.M. - on the mall.” is where the father is giving the game away, I guess.I think the questions that follow, from boy to father, are rather implausible ones for a boy to be asking and detract just a little from an enjoyable read.

Comment is about Morning on the Mall (blog)

Original item by Cynthia Buell Thomas

andy n

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Sat 15th May 2010 22:46

ooh - how are you writing so much at the moment? i am barely getting time to blink at the moment with my poetry, but it will appear on here again soon (i hope) x

again - this has a really free flow about it and there is a lot off interesting and good lines - i like 'i will break all bewildering lies' for the use of bewildering and voilet sound is also nice..

keep em coming, chick x lol

Comment is about In every disguise (blog)

Original item by Olga Gerke

andy n

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Sat 15th May 2010 22:44

Hi Olga; - I'm late with my comments here and have no idea what is the final version here and whether it is up online here or not. Either way, for me i really like it - although perhaps you over did it a bit with three cultures in the second stanza...

However, i love the ending and i think the piece has a really free flow about it that i think is top banana! lol x

Keep it coming, chick x

Comment is about Sad cow (blog)

Original item by Olga Gerke

Larisa Rzhepishevska

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Sat 15th May 2010 22:39

Beautiful poem. With warmest wishes, Larisa

Comment is about Titanium Butterfly (blog)

Original item by Steven Kenny

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