Day 13

Before the poem, let me just take a moment to tell you guys how much I've missed you.  Work, school, kids, I've just been so busy lately, but you guys are always in the back of my mind and I wanted you to know that.

 

And there was this man
on the street,
standing next to this woman,
with one hand on her hip,
and the other one pulling her close,
like he had never had her this close before.
His face
was hid in her hair,
and this woman just laughed,
like the whole world was in on the joke,
as he softly whispered things,
I'm sure I've never had the heart to whisper before.
And I smiled,
because I'm happy to see lovers,
I want to see them everyday.
And the light turned,
and the shadows moved,
and this man on the street,
had this woman in his hands,
and I swear the woman he held was you.

◄ A Mother's Decision

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Comments

stella jones

Wed 22nd Feb 2012 15:32


Great read Terry..missed your stuff too..and with a lovely twist to the end which made the read so much stronger for me..yup nice work indeed. :)

Laura Taylor

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Wed 22nd Feb 2012 14:24

Howdy Terry - we missed you too! :)

Lovely piece this - I feel the same way these days about seeing lovers on the street. They used to make me feel like being sick in my shoes, but then I got the bug and now I like to see others with it too.

This, however, has an almost Leonard Cohen-like twist...shades of Famous Blue Raincoat (which bloody wrecks me every time)

Graham Sherwood

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Wed 22nd Feb 2012 09:20

Not nearly enough information here Terry, I wanted to read much more. It's like driving past on a bus and getting a minute glimpse of a situation and then having to make the rest up. Great work in a blink!

Val Cook

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Wed 22nd Feb 2012 07:05

Terry, well done. Your poem is evenly paced, the rythmn finely balanced. I enjoyed the read and the ending made it for me.
Suggestion: drop the sentence I'm sure ... ... whisper before. Somehow it doesn't seem to fit.
Cheers

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