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Pals

Those muddy boys,

pressed as moulds

into the grey-blue stench,

quiet now.

The terrifying cacophony

still rages through their skies,

though silently.

Their chilling lifeless eyes,

stare a fruitless search,

for England, mother, home.

 

© Graham Sherwood 11/2010 

◄ All Hallows Eve

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Comments

Elaine Booth

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Mon 15th Nov 2010 17:10

Your poem brought tears to my eyes - the only one to do this in all the wonderful poems I have read for Rememberance. Something very tender about this image: "pressed as moulds".

Graham Sherwood

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Sun 14th Nov 2010 11:12

Thanks to everyone who left comments on this. Oddly enough the words terrifying cacophony were the first to come whilst standing still at eleven o'clock. For me it defines the work. Interesting that Win mentions the Somme as it was the working title for this piece but then I saw a newsreel about how whole groups of men/boys all joined up together as if the war was to be a jolly jape for all to enjoy. These hastily made up battalions were nicknamed "The Pals" so it had to become that instead. Thank you all once again for remembering.

Dave Bradley

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Sun 14th Nov 2010 08:30

Very moving. I particularly like the title. It's easy to forget that the carnage often swept friends away, side by side.

winston plowes

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Fri 12th Nov 2010 21:23

Hi Graham, So powerful this, Great stuff. A single sylable word before cacophany might ease things if you are bothered. I have an image of some poor soul having to prize out bodies from the frozen muddy trenches. Could the freezing be mentioned I wonder. And should the trenches or somme fields be mentioned. Questions... always questions LOL Good stuff, Win x

Isobel

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Fri 12th Nov 2010 21:03

Very powerful Graham. I would probably have chosen something other than 'terrifying cacophany' also. More so that it would trip easily of my tongue than for the fact that I might have heard it before. It is hard to choose original words, particularly when you are rhyming - flow is important to me though cos I like to perform it. The rest of it flows beautifully and moves me.

ray miller

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Fri 12th Nov 2010 18:32

Good. As Greg said, the first three lines are strong - as are the last three. I'm less convinced by the middle bit -"terrifying cacophony" sounds like something heard before.

Banksy

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Fri 12th Nov 2010 08:14

Excellent Graham - if that's the right word for such a subject. B

Greg Freeman

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Fri 12th Nov 2010 08:12

Sometimes you don't need to say too much. Succinctly expressed. Particularly liked the first three lines, Graham

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