Biography
I have lived as a hermit in a cave near Preston in the UK for many years. Here I type my ludicrous poems onto my ancient elastic band computer. When I finally exploded onto the poetry scene my trousers flew off, several women fainted and I was promptly arrested by a purple (with rage) policeman. I wasn’t put off by this and now wear a cardboard medieval suit of armour at poetry readings.
I am known mostly for writing comic verse but I have written poetry on all topics including: animals, nature, love, peace, fantasy, horror, life the universe and silliness.
I am a singer and musician and play the guitar, mandolin, bodhran, harmonica and the spoons. I have turned some of my comic poems into songs and raps.
I have had my poems and stories published in the following magazines: Laughout, Chillout, Lookout, Curlew, Garbaj, Quantum Leap, Krax, Earth Love, Cauldron, Splizz, First Time, Awen,, Presence, Peace and Freedom and Poetic Hours.
Unfortunately I suffer from an illness called M.E (C.F.S). When I’m going through a bad patch I am very limited in what I can do physically and mentally. That’s why my poetry is so important to me, as it gives me the freedom to express myself through my imagination.
I have now self published a collection of poetry called ‘The Love Bus’ and made a cd of 9 songs. The profits from the book will go to ‘Action for M.E’. Feel free to send me an e mail is you want to contact me.
ludicrous@tiscali.co.uk
Samples
THE GENIE
I am the genie of the lamp
And I’ve got some awful cramp
Scrunched up in this tiny space
Where no one else can see my face
I’ve been here for a thousand years
Just wishing I could have a beer
So now that you have set me free
Can I go and have a pee?
But no you want me to do your bidding
Get stuffed mate you must be kidding
Telling me you want three wishes
Who made you so damn officious
I’ve always longed to misbehave
So now I’m off to the nearest rave
All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.
Last blog entry
Posted on Sunday 2nd November 2008 11:06 am
I WANT A WOMAN
I want a woman
Who listens to my reflections
Who gives me direction
And offers me protection
I want a woman
Who will shield me from the flack
To never change tack
And go on the attack
I want a woman
Who wears a sharp suit
And killer boots
Who is never cute
I want a woman
Who knows invention
And is intentional
In being sexual
I want a woman
Who can rap and sing
Who’s fist have a sting
Who knows how to fling
I want a woman
To grind my enemies bones
And make rubble of their homes
A big black beautiful wonderful worrying woman
Just like……….Grace Jones!
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View or make comments. (2 comments)
Gus Jonsson
Sat 1st Nov 2008 20:04
Thanks for the comment Tim... I'm glad someone knows where I'm coming from....
Do ever get down to Manchester?
Hope to see you soon
Gus Jonsson