Harbour.

It's good. Yet another good poem, Mel. It's very well paced and your use of repetition is subtle and effective. Following the repetition with the line -

"and the dead fish" seems like a bit of an anti-climax, but I think it serves as really good hook (no pun intended). It's very grounded - repetition done badly can lead to some grand 'and here's the statement of the poem' - you've totally avoided that. It reads like a very authentic poem.

"seven dark continents etched on his olive skin" - is also a blinder of a line. Love it.

However... "half the world away" is a cliche. Sorry, but it is. And it's a shame to have something as superfluous as that at the beginning of such a good poem. Personally, I'd get rid of that line. I don't think you need it - and the poem would be better for its omission.

Having a cliche at the beginning of your poem may discourage a new reader from reading the rest of it - which would be a shame.

Don't hate me. It's tough love. ;-)

And not a swear word in sight!

Oh, hold on...

aren;t you lovely.... thank you mel

Gus x

ta very much for your comments Ms : )

Thanks Mel for your comment on my Emotional Rainbows. That is the title poem for the show I have written. There is is a ten min version of the 1 hour show on the 14th of Nov on the Embrio Night. Come along.

Hello again Melanie

Thank you for you kind comment....I always try to look both ways to the middle....

Look foward to seeing you again soon
GusX

Little Monster.

Great poem, Mel. Speaks honestly about how frustrating and exhausting the creative process can be.

I loved the phrase 'umbilical discord'. As with a lot of your work there's a very focused use of language that means the poem demands a re-read.

Cracking stuff.

Steve

Yes, for something negative melancholy has a rather jolly ring to it. I never though of it like that before, actually...

Dear Melanie

Thank you so much for the wonderful comment on my poem "Beautiful Life"- Life is beautiful indeed.

Warmest Regards,
Zuzanna
xx

Hi Mel - many thanks for your pertinent and kind comments :)

Thanks for your lovely comment about my poetry. I like your poetry,it's punchy and modern. I like Rittrato - the line I ' Had I been a sculptor I would hug you in marble.' Keep writing.

Really well done for last night, i'm now hooked! You'll defo see me next month!

There were so many really good poets, im glad to be able to perform with them!

Have fun,
Jordan

Dear Malanie

Thank you so much for your lovely comment on my poem 'A Smile A Day'

Kind Regards,
Zuzanna
xx

Hi Melanie,

Thank you for your comment on my poem 'Dance A Dream'. I love your poem 'Little Man Melancholy' it is very thought provoking.

Sincerely Shirley

Thoroughly enjoyed Melancholy Man, I could imagine him looking like a Sinatra/Hemingway cross. An ode at its finest.

Love the poems! especially little man melachony, it poetryfied a mindframe i keep having where i enjoy the sadness, but you can never enjoy melancholy.

Very good,
Have fun,
Jordan

HIya

Thanks for the your kind comments on my page. I am now thinking of putting together a poetry book of romantic poems and on move in general.

Greetings from Sir Knight born upon noble steed
Tear of joy knowing its my poetry you read
I Sir Cumference, must go, but'll be back soon
I'm off to write to Mills and Boon

C ya

Phil

Hi Mel, thanks for your comment about 'New Model Army' - it's the effect I was hoping for so feedback like that is really appreciated, Jeff X

ta very much Ms : )

Hi Melanie, thanks for your kind comment about my blog entry. The shoe, and A plea.
I am especially glad because it brought me to your page and I have read and enjoyed your poems very much. I especially liked Poppy. Your poems speak.

Hi Melanie

thanks for your thoughts on 'Free Fall'. Much appreciated.

I'm loving your poem 'Love Bites' and you read it well. I have listened to it a few times now. Very very interesting. You pack a lot into your poems. 'Love Bites' is my favourite.

thanks for sharing..

Ally

Hello, Melanie

Thank you for being there and placing such a lovely comment on my latest poem. Hope all is well.
Missing your writing...Hope to read some new art of your creative mind.

Take care,
Zuzanna
xx

'Poppy'

That's the bravest poem I've read in ages. It's brevity makes it that more powerful, and the final line dismisses any notions of cultural unawareness. Sometimes it's great to read a poem that comes in, makes it point and then f**ks off.

Punchy, punchy poem. Excellent.

Steve

PS - Stop writing such good poetry. You're making some of us look like amateurs!

I love your poem 'Poppy'........it's wise and a bit funny and it made methink of the yellow brick road xx

I enjoyed your poetry.

Dear Melanie

Thank you for the lovely comment on my latest poem...Hope you have a great Easter!!

Kind Regards,
Zuzanna

Hello, Melanie

Thank you for taking the time to read my write.
Happy St. Patrick's Day!

Warm Regards,
Zuzanna

Many thanks for your kind comment.

Matt

Dear Melanie

Thank you for taking the time to read my latest poem about the 'LOVE FROM ABOVE'
I think you are right that the composition would fit the wedding vows. I need to tell you that you are extremely intuitive with enormous potential for writing. “Your writing has colourful vocabulary that can give life to a stone”- It is an expression that I use on occasion…Thanks!

Warmest Regards,
Zuzanna

Hello Melanie

I am very pleased that you have read and enjoyed the poem about the King Tutankhamen. I have done the recording and it is in my profile, if you like to listen my live read. No possibilities for me to participate in Poetry Reading that you have in your local places. Therefore I wanted to join you through the Internet at least with one recording. Thank you so much for your great comment!

Warm Regards,
Zuzanna

Hello Melanie,

You are very talented young STAR in writing! Your poems are excellent. It shows your strife for perfection in every piece I have been reading. Awesome read you present to the public. Really the effort you putting into words are well expressed and you shine like a star. Thank you for placing such a nice comment on my latest write.

Kind Regards,
Zuzanna

Thank you for visiting my page, and thank you for the comment. :)

Hello Melanie, thank you for visiting my page.
It is always lovely to hear from others how they receive the write. I am glad you like my new poem. Refering to your writing - very impressive, Will look forward to read your next poem.
Peace ...Zuzanna