Write Out Loud - Poet Profile - John Darby (aka John boy)

John Darby (aka John boy)

Email: jobwal@googlemail.com

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View samples

Last blog entry: Fri, 6 Aug 2010 05:51:45 pm

Profile updated: Wed, 20 May 2009 09:00:05 pm

Write Out Loud Profile: http://www.writeoutloud.net/poets/johndarbyakajohnboy

Write Out Loud Blog: http://www.writeoutloud.net/blogs/johndarbyakajohnboy

Biography

It was a cold,draughty,February evening in 2008 when I walked into the Tudor and,having shaken off winter leaves and seasonal debris,took the stand and had a go at performance poetry.

I now feel that my brain has been affected by that one evening,resulting in me being a regular attendee on the second Thursday in each month!

In my spare time,I manage a small mini-market,and juggle work,family life,and a bit of script-writing as part of Scriptshop in Leigh.

I welcome your feedback,as I am but a fledgling poet,and need all the help I can get!!

Samples

ARE CUSTOMERS ALL IDIOTS?

Are customers all idiots?,
Are they all sent to plain annoy?!,
When they march,
Stressed,
Into the store,
Flanked by a little girl and boy.
"I've only got a twenty pound mate",
"Can I have a packet of chewy?",
"Oh,and can I take all your change too?",
Leaving me stressed and angry.

Are customers all idiots?,
When you ask them for their I.D.,
And they threaten to knock your block off!,
"Cos you're just too fuckin' cheeky!"
"I'm eighteen,mate!",they'll say,
"I want my fuckin' beer!",
And inside I'm seething,
Angry and Fuming,
Cos they're screaming down my ear.

Are customers all idiots?,
When they break down and lose their rag,
'Cos you tell 'em,
"I'm really sorry Sir"
"We've totally run out,"
"I'm afraid I can't offer you a bag",

Are customers all idiots?
When they threaten you with a clout,
"Don't look down on me mate!",
"I'll punch your fuckin' lights out!"

Are customers all idiots?,
When they kick off 'cos you've no fresh bread,
And they glare right through you,
With hate in their eyes,
As though they want you dead.

Customers,customers,customers,
Idiots,
One,
And all,
Give me a fuckin' rifle,
I'd like to shoot 'em all!!
,

MALTED MILK

There's nothing as nice as a malted milk,
It's smooth,creamy texture,
Reminds me of silk.

And the cows grazing calmly,
On this delcacie's face,
Make me more....
At ease,
With the whole human race.

Whether dunked,
Dipped,
Or with a chunk of cheese,
This tasty little titbit,
Never fails to please

Away then,
You Bourbon's!,
Digestives,
Impostors,
Just playing a part!,
For it's the malted milk,
Above all else,
That sits,
Enthroned,
In my heart.

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

Last blog entry

I SAT ON A PARK BENCH TODAY

Posted on Friday 6th August 2010 5:51 pm

I SAT ON A PARK BENCH TODAY......

I sat on a park bench today.....

Not because I thought it the thing to do....

Or because I thought it poetic....

Not because I thought it would make me look artistic,,

Or thoughtful...

I sat on the park bench because I was tired...

My body was begging me

For a sit down

I sat on a park bench today

And..........in my sitting

Joined millions

Of sitters.....

All Sitting

Some on metal benches

Some on wooden

Yet all linked

By the same act

I sat on a park bench today...

Listening to a noise of teenagers

Pass me by

Muttering...

“Fucking perv...

Sat on his own on a fucking wooden bench”...

And so I felt I was committing an unspeakable crime

To ….just...sit there

Obviously being viewed with suspicion,

I sat on a park bench today

And wondered if it was politically correct

Because of my sex,

To sit and relax

Within reach of the general public

Who were here for a day out

Or to walk with loved ones

Past greenery and benches,hopefully bereft

Of single males

Possible murderers

Or sex fiends on the prowl

I sat on a park bench today,

And in doing so

Joined my parents

Forty years in the past

As they shared a drink of coffee

From a plastic thermos beaker that never fitted tight enough to it's flask,

And I

Shuffled my legs restlessly,

Wanting them to see that sitting was boring

The bench dull

And unrewarding

I sat on a park bench today

And as a train whizzed past

Someone was bowling

The ball leaving their frail lined hand

Their weak legs following it determinedly

Across the green

How long 'til I join them?

I wondered

As I stood

Wearily

To leave

Previous: Do You Ever Wonder?

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Comments

stefan wilde

Fri 6th Aug 2010 19:14

Hi again John-any comments at anytime from me on-any-of your writing,is more than well deserved-its all brilliant-it really is an enjoyment to read-thank you-Stefan

Greg Freeman

Sat 24th Jul 2010 14:49

Hi John, thanks for looking at Walking the Shore. It's about a long friendship forged at work: my colleague took voluntary redundancy a year ago, and we got together recently for this long walk.
PS If they're the ones I remember, I've always liked malted milk, too!

Lynn Dye

Sat 26th Jun 2010 12:27

Hi John, thanks for kind comments on "Vacancy". I work in retail also, so should now really write one from the other side of the counter, as it were!

Zion Lights

Sun 20th Jun 2010 21:12

Thanks Jonboy :)I like Do You Ever Wonder.. Yes, I do! All the time..

Larisa Rzhepishevska

Mon 7th Jun 2010 18:44

Hi, John! Thank you very much for your comment on "To the Creator". With warmest wishes, Larisa

hatta

Sun 16th May 2010 07:46

Heck, thank you for reading the pome and leaving such a generous message.

Lynn Dye

Mon 10th May 2010 19:22

John, thank you for your welcome and kind comments on my recession poem.
I also empathise with "Are Customers all Idiots?" I've served some right nutters in my time!!
I also enjoyed "Do You Ever Wonder?"
Cheers

Gemma Lees

Fri 7th May 2010 23:05

thanks very much for your feedback. i can definately relate to 'customers', having worked in retail for many years!

Nash

Thu 6th May 2010 18:44

Thanks jonboy! Glad you enjoyed, Nash

spencer

Mon 19th Apr 2010 15:46

thank you for your kind comments , i too like the Satanist pleasure that is malted milk

Ann Foxglove

Thu 8th Apr 2010 14:43

Hi, thanks for comments on Missing Person. I wrote this on the bus yesterday, where there was a small poster about a missing woman. She looked so carefree in the photo. Bits of her car have been found washed up on the coast near where she worked. So who knows? The character in the poem is made up by me (or maybe is me!) As to the fate of the missing woman, her family still wait and hope!

Darren Thomas

Mon 15th Mar 2010 09:40

Thanks John.

Death is a cliché kicked to...death? by writers - I'm no exception! Thanks for your comments.

D

stella jones

Sun 14th Mar 2010 11:56

thanks for your kind comments John..Wigan is one venue I would love to come to..having worked in retail I know your feelings on the dreaded customer..tis the old senario isn't it?..can't live with em can't live without em lol..

kath hewitt

Sun 28th Feb 2010 20:35

Thanks for commenting on Newborn. Glad you liked it.
I can also totally see it with customers having done retail for years i know exactly how it is, you are spot on x

John Coopey

Mon 8th Feb 2010 13:35

Hello JB
Thanks for the comments on Our Gert. I don't think it'll get me into the Poet Laureate reckoning just yet!
I remember you doing the "Pensioners" at Wigan which I thoroughly enjoyed. I hope to get back there if I'm working back in Bolton again soon.

Cat Parsons

Sun 31st Jan 2010 18:08

Hi John,
Thanks for your comment on 'Rainbow Bright'. I think it's evident, but it's about when my dad left home when I was a kid and how our relationship has been since.
I remember your performance of 'Are all customers idots?' at i think the Wigan slam last year - i loved it (having worked in retail too).

Thanks, Cat x

Isobel

Mon 16th Nov 2009 20:05

Thanks for your comments John. You read me well - my poem is exactly as you say - an awful journey. Thanks. xx

Isobel

Tue 10th Nov 2009 18:30

Thanks for the comment you left me John. Hope to see you and Chris at the Tudor on Thursday. Isobel x

Darren Thomas

Mon 27th Jul 2009 13:10

Hi John

I took some photos at the Buskin' 4 Beer night in Wigan. You're on a few if you care to check them out at the following link...

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=62084&l=2e45f22a9b&id=1811493559

Nabila Suriya

Mon 20th Jul 2009 20:12

thanks :-)

chris yates

Sun 19th Jul 2009 16:45

You really do not like work never mind take a holiday and leave them all to it !

Janet

Fri 10th Jul 2009 15:13

Hi John-boy,
thanks for your comment on my poem 'Comfort Zone'. A bit late in the day i know but...

Hmmm, i was always told the customer's always right. :-)
i think we both know the difference.

Janet. :-)

Angel

Thu 25th Jun 2009 18:41

Haha - customers! They can do your nut in, can't they? I only deal with them over the phone but I totally empathise with ARE CUSTOMERS ALL IDIOTS?!

Thanks for your comment on Inner Beast!

Nabila Suriya

Fri 19th Jun 2009 09:56

mp3 added to the cruel BNPpoem :-)

Sophie

Fri 19th Jun 2009 03:01

You are too kind. I'd kill for a malted milk now. Bastard. : D

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