Biography

Cayn White, a performance poet based in West Yorkshire, started performing poetry over three years ago (or Saturday 10th September 2005 at 9pm to give the actual date and time!) supporting Attila the Stockbroker and (fortunatly) is constantly improving from that fatefull night in Hebden Bridge.
Influenced by the likes of Attila the Stockbroker, Nick Tocseck, Tv Smith and John Cooper Clarke (among many others) his poems touch on a range of subjects from the pollitically motivated to the humourous to the downright surreal.
Cayn has performed countless gigs in the past three years including, Punk gigs, Poetry nights, World Music Festivals, Awards Ceremonies, Anti Racist Gigs, and many fund raisers for various causes proving he knows where to put his heart.
As well as these gigs and numerous radio appearances he has also supported John Cooper Clarke, Attila the Stockbroker, Nick Tocseck, Little Brother, Ed Tudorpole, Jules, Tv Smith, Sham 69, Goldblade, The Anti Nowhere League, Gbh and various other poets and bands.
Cayn who is now working harder than ever before with many projeccs on the go now has the strongest material to date and is looking to showcase his poems and stories anywhere in the Uk, to book him email Cayn666@btinternet.com
Speaking of books, Cayns first collection of poems under the title of "Drunk and Incapable" somehow managed to sell out of all copies in just over two months, a re-print is been considered
Also "It'll Be Cayn White on the Night" the first documentary about the four year career of Cayn White has been completed and a follow up is on the way.
AND "Menace to Sobriety" The first Cayn White poetry album featuring live and recorded tracks is also in the works hopefully for a Christmas Release


Disclaimer: When booking or watching Cayn White please realise that he is what is often referred to as a "Punk Poet" and therefore may be slightly different to the poets you are used to watching. His poems also touch on a variety of subjects that although meant as comedic can rub people the wrong way so if you are easily offended you have been forewarned!
Also Cayn White hates drunken people who can't heckle properly, if you are going to heckle, please try and be a little bit sober and say something intellegent or funny, that way he won't be able to get the better of you and you won't leave the gig feeling angry and embarrased!
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Reviews:
Taken from Dave- Fungalpunk


A few faces arrived and as the evening progressed it was great to catch up with a few quality people. NOTE: Jim 'n' Arlene - cheers for the Rum and Coke - phew - and the sherry will be waiting for ya in December - glug, glug. First on tonight was the irrepressible Cayn White - punk poet and professional pisspot ha, ha. I have a lot of respect for this guy and his up-front attitude and likeable nature. A grand lad to have at any gig and one who enjoys the scene for what it is. His performance tonight was a pure ad-lib hotch-potch and oozed chaos and unprofessionalism. With Cayn you get what you get and within the punk scene this should be accepted. I told him afterwards that I like what he does but know that in certain circles he would get an undeserved caning from people who deem to know better. Was there anyone tonight who didn't smile with Cayns lunacy? Was there anyone who didn't find his 'have a go' attitude admirable? Was there anyone who didn't think Cayn is a fuckin' noodle ha, ha? Love it or loathe it the lad gets up and gives his all and that does for me. His obsession with granny porn and the like is becoming alarming and I am sure further investigations would reveal some nasty secrets! The banter with the crowd is a nice extra with Mr White’s performances and his 'shuffling through papers, reading out notes, conversations between recitals' approach is as funny as fuck. A crazed opening and one that relaxed the crowd - keep at it fella and remember to get scribbling and squeeze yerself dry.
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Taken from: http://www.fungalpunknature.co.uk/FUNGALPUNK/CDReviews/BOOKSPage%201.html

CAYN WHITE - DRUNK AND INCAPABLE

I paid £3 for this collection of poems and did so, with pleasure, in advance of its release. Why? Because Cayn White is a likeable lad who has got off his arse and had a go and participating in this scene that is ideal for anyone willing to chance their arm. The previous time I'd seen Cayn strut his stuff was at The Yorkshire Punks Picnic in Halifax where he was amiable and most importantly - pissed as a fart! The obvious influences are indeed just that - obvious - but Cayn does things his way and throws in many of his efforts with a complete DIY attitude. That, my dear reader, will do for me and after receiving my copy of this book and reading almost immediately I am more than convinced it was brass well spent.

What do you get for your money though? Well fuck all if you ain't already got a copy because this was a limited run that has now sold out. That'll teach ya! If you did get a copy then you get 18 easy to read and relate to rhymes that will raise a smile and many a titter. Cayn has many a good point to make and does so with a sense of the perverse and idiotic never far away. Tales of bird flu, biscuits falling into cups of tea, being trapped in a porn shop and dating a psychopath all seem fantastical but the hard edged stuff is in there as well with the poignancy and heartbreak of 'For A Friend' and 'A Glimpse Of God' certainly noteworthy.

I have no favourites here as I enjoyed each and every scribbling and I accept it isn't the most profound prose to hit the shelves but it is very fuckin' real and done by someone who ain't afraid to commit to the cause and have his say. Volume 2 should be on the way soon so get them coins ready to roll Cayns way.

Samples

A Glimpse Of God

As such, she wasn't much of a religious person
But she did once catch a glimpse of God,
In the form of a drunken, foul mouthed, abusive creature
Known, rather laughably, as her husband
She didn't do anything wrong of course
(People in these type of situations seldom do)
Except ask where he's been
And wonder out loud why he was in such a state
But from too much lager decended a red mist
Along with a fist
She caught the blow
And her first glimpse of "God"

Meanwhile:
Upstairs, lay the only evidence that love did once exist between that couple
Just the one piece of evidence, mind you, in the form of a child,
He laid there, scared, frightened,
Not knowing what to do
Not aware of what caused the trouble
Just aware that it was present.
And he lay there,
Frightened, that one day he may have to pick sides
Between the two people whom he loved,
In the way most children loved their parents of course.
But it would be that unconditional love that would be the first casuality
In years to come, when the custody battles and the social services
Become a horrific reality

The neighbours, obviously tried to help,
But only moved in once the trouble was finished
And it was too late
But it gave them the feelgood factor
And something to gossip about,
Before getting back to there dull, dreary, non-soap opera like lives
After all it was just a drunken man out on the batter,
And no-one was "really" hurt-
Were they?

Cayn White 2008
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Where Ale Is Sold


In the place where jokes never get old
And no one gets tired of the stories told
Where unrational dramas tend to unfold
Thats where you'll find me
Where people happily exchange tit for tat
Where uniforms and status really aren't all that
And no one notices that the ale is flat
Thats where you'll find me
Where bloated beer guts are well fed
And countless tears are countlessly shed
Where drunken promises are drunkenly made
Thats where you'll find me
When red letters are an unwanted reality
When you know you can't really cope with me
When you want to pack my bags and set me free
You'll know where to find me
When things between us have turned so bland
When everythings gone out of hand
And you leave that note hoping I'll understand
You'll know where to find me
When all your world collapses around you
And you've booze and tablets and still don't know what to do
And solutions to be found all add up to nil
I'll never let you find me

Cayn White
2009

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The New Rock And Roll

Take to the stage
Red in the face
We're set to amaze
Ready to set your world ablaze
This is what we do, we're in total control
This is our poetry, the new rock and roll


Come to the gig and what do you find?
No instruments for us to hide behind
No crap, no lies, just you and me
Performances packed wall to wall with energy
Staying true to ourselves, never to sell our souls
This is what we do, this is our rock and roll


And then when you look into my eyes
You see not one hidden extra, not one suprise
Just a beating heart with no apologies
Not an on stage politician with bullshit policies

And after three years I might have gone on too long
I'm still going nowhere, but still going strong
Giving it all I have, heart body and soul
This is what I do, this is my rock and roll

Cayn Whtie 2009

All poems are copyright of the originating author. Permission must be obtained before using or performing others' poems.

Last blog entry

Review of a cd wwhich one of my poems appears on

Posted on Sunday 27th December 2009 1:28 pm

A review of a cd which I appear on, taken from "http://www.fungalpunknature.co.uk" Check this site out 'cos Dave is one of the very few people who are still supporting the bands no one else would give a second glance at and definatley deserves all credit.




PHOENIX RADIO - PUNK IS THE BEST COMPILATION

Phoenix Radio - what a gift to us lucky punkers it is too. Well, one show in particular! Punk and Disorderly comes at ya on Wednesday Nights from 8pm until 10pm via the punky man himself Steve Blackman and is essential listening matter for seekers of all things punk. The bonus is that Steve is on the ball, as are his frequent stand-in DJ's, and that ingredient adds to the final conviction that you are listening to a show by punks for punks. This 25 track freebie is the first release and encapsulates the kind of sonicisation the studio dishes forth each and every week. Totally DIY and with a feel of genuine sincerity you really should get a copy of this you idling 'erberts.

The first batch of 5 makes a solid impact with Homebrew hammering big fuck-off rhythmic nails here, there and everywhere via the heavy handed 'Out Of Spite'. Lyrically spot on and the initial entrance is large and looming backed up with the very pleasing effort from a band I have seen once and thoroughly enjoyed, namely, Geoffrey Oicott. Of course there are cricketing innuendoes but 'Scunnie Honey' has a great sound and combines OI and Humour with solid precision. 'Humoi' I think it’s called or is that a Jap porn baron! Either way it is a great listen and I do need to check these out further! First Time Riot dip in and out of the SAS pool and never leave a sour taste and this track from the recently released album is evidence aplenty of a good band. Sandpapered vocals, sharp-suited sonics and the mix is a success.

Jingle and then a little stunning piece of Yorkshire nastiness via the gobs and guitars of veteran punkers 'Lowlife UK'. Great lyrics this one and about the change in people over a period of, as it says on the tin '20 Years'. One for the 'I used to be a punk brigade' and its a definite up yer arse to the failures ha, ha. Great stuff and already we a five little Indians down and looking to the next pentapunkolot of tuneage.

Revenge of the Psychotronic Man' don't hang about and squeeze as much mad dash H/C melodic meat into their allotted sausage skin of time. A nice track taken from a nice album which may leave the more frail of you slightly breathless. This sudden surge is well timed and alters the angle of the CD quite adequately. The Sewer Suckers shuffle in with a straight ahead drive that drags one along even if you want to or not. Punkers who like it basic will be drawn to this yet the more critically bent will find some fault I am sure. It ain't breaking any new ground but that ain't my concern. I like it and despite a production that does hinder I certainly ain't going to fart about picking holes in some good simplistic punk. Acid Drop have a great reputation and their effort here entitled 'Mother's Pride' is not too bad at all. The trouble is due to peoples wagging propaganda one expects magnificence and when one only gets something half decent finds fault. I am certainly not falling for that one and give this a rating of above average although I suspect they have better. Think unrushed punk with a semi-Irish underlay with emphasis on a good tune and you get the drift. The track could have made an even bigger impression if it didn't precede the brilliance of 'Hate And Lies' by the stunning Kings of the Delmar. If you had a competition for best track of the CD this one would be in the mix and is a fuckin' crackin' piece of work. The vocals are clear and deliberately delivered and hold threat. The chorus is a sing-a-long booze up piece (I know I've been there) and the general construction is obviously the creation of a band who know their rock 'n' roll onions. One of the best songs of 2009 in fact and one that will hopefully propel this crew onto bigger and better things in 2010. A very classy crew.

State Of Error are a band I have yet to see and really don't know how I have missed them for this long. They play a few gigs here and there and from what I hear a fairly efficient. This isn't a bad do and leans towards the new-school end of the spectrum which may poison or please the old punk brigade. I like the initial grooving guitar here and the overall tidy delivery but would suggest a bit more clout wouldn't go amiss for future efforts. Loads of potential here though and the mid pace and odd power surge of 'Antiseen' are well included and give glimpse of where the band will be in a few months. James 'Bar' Bowen is a welcome break and the acoustica this guy delivers is always welcome. Totally and utterly absorbing stuff straight from the heart and this is one of his best efforts. A folky punk paradox is torn up and regurgitated by the nimble fingers of our man Bar and the end result charms and convinces with ease. Kreosote bludgeon with blasted hardcore entitled 'Some Basic Do's And Don'ts In Our Search For Universal Harmony'. Fuckin' decent crew this that just have a good crack and try to make yer ears bleed. This is typical Kreosote and some will take to it and some will just reach for the 'skip' button. Hey there are many colours to punk - get used to it. Not bad at all and a startling contrast between this and the next gem entitled 'Most Likely To Fail' by, incredibly enough 'Most Likely To Fail'. Great band, great intelligent song and darn nice geezers too. Although the production could have been better I just love what these guys do and proof of this is the excess of gigs I give them to try and push their, what we deem, hopeless cause (hence the song title here). Success comes in different forms and playing to a thousand empty headed sycophants is not one of them so MLTF shouldn't get too down hearted as a few buggers in the know appreciate everything they do. A cultured success followed by the inane ravings of a mentally ill man who firstly utters Savilleian bilge and then goes all rectal on us with his 3CR crew. 'Bang, Bang, Bang' sums up the idiocy that is 3CR and is a track to tickle the jolly genitals of the most warped mind. A catchy song that fits in well and leads into 'The Swindells' prod of pride that is 'Yorkshire'. Rougher than a horses arse this one with an utter belief and genuine unaffected delivery I can't help but like. This is the first I have heard from this noisy crew and my curiosity is aroused. Another good up yer arse number (or was that the preceding one) that shafts hard and maintains a good head down rhythm. The X-Rippers' are always worth a listen and they follow with a real fine moment via another backside related ditty entitled 'Pop Idol'. With cheeky tongue in cheek humour and dipping in and out of the provocative piss-taking pool this classic sing-a-long showcases the bands style in all its comical finery.

Cayn White next and this 'erbert is a real character on the circuit who knocks out Cooper-Clarke-esque poetry via a gob that really couldn't give a toss. His stage performances are total 'get up and see what happens' affairs with a delightful unrehearsed aspect that gets the guy ad-libbing and abusing in equal measure. I like this sharp insight into the fantasy world of OAP havoc and nothing less than a Fungal nod would suffice. Oh the song is called 'OAP's From Hell' by the way.

'This Town' by Wild Trash is nothing short of an epic. With musical madman Alec Marlowe at the helm this is the bands finest moment to date with a composition gushing talent and most importantly pure unadulterated passion and belief. The amount of times I have played this song since its release is incredible and still it swells the heart and raises many a goosebump. Sheer class. The King Crows are another band from the opposite end of the moors and are a crew I have really taken to. Subtly glammed and oozing punk/rock credentials the few times I have seen these guys have left me thoroughly convinced of a good outfit on and off CD. The tunes have a positivity and the 'live' performances are thoroughly enjoyable and they are a grand set of lads too - hey they are on the new SAS CD - convinced? You should be! To be 'One Of The Boys' will be your pleasure entirely.

The Cyanide Pills drop back into a mix of retro and garage and come out impressing me quite adequately. I love it when a band knock forth a rusted mix and match noise that is seemingly borne of a backstreet studio that only the most scurrilous underdogs use. 'Mail Order Bride' captures a punk dishevelment we all should admire and really does tickle the punk rock nucleus. Some old school poppiness is peppered into the recipe and we taste something very sweet here. Blitzkrieg have not overly impressed me so far due to some misdirected preconceived expectations that came via many a grapevine and historical propagandism. They are decent enough but not hitting the maximum potential mark but here they do deliver one of their better tracks. Definitely tipping the scales towards the rock end of things this mid-paced noise is well-structured and has ample angst and so gets by with certain ease. Los Fastidios chant away with a football terrace sing-along gem 'Antifa Hooligans'. Straight into the chorus that will get the crowd involved from the initial green flag and the verse that follows rolls forth with simplicity and adds the perfect adhesive to each blatant crowd inducing moment. A jingle courtesy of AFS and then to close this lengthy listen a song from the same band. 'Unite' is class from a class band all wearing class underpants that have class written on then in a classy kind of way ha, ha. The sound is immediately recognisable and the delivery, production and simplicity is a brief lesson in excellence. Steve from Phoenix is a fan and so am I and I hope again that more will join in the appreciation. Deliberate guitar work, gruff yet audible vocals, bending bass and confident drum rhythm AFS combine the lot and close this fine example of underground, underdog punk rock with er class. Why not be lazy with words for once when one will suffice.

That's it - you gotta give credit where credit is due and this 100% DIY effort from the crew at Punk and Disorderly gets my utmost respect. It is a great thing that these do in the face of a piss-idle scene and society where everyone wants to be a star or face and ego rules the day. Support this cause because it is the lifeblood of punk and should be flowing a lot more deeper than it does. Tune in and enjoy - the message is simple and make sure you get to find out about some new impressive underground talent

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