Patricia and Stefan Wilde

As time passed

I became used

to a REAL lasting peace

in this place of unbelievabilty

where it had always lived.

And I named this place

-NotAnyWhereonEarth-...

At speed

my stop hurtles

towards me

but not fast enough!

Reflecting

on my time away

seems pointless.

It begs to be relegated

to the swell of unwanted thoughts.

In slowing

a porter seems to move

from right to left across my window

without really moving at all

followed by

the name of my town

spelling itself out

in t...

The dream

was a bad one.

I was forced

to occupy this body

crouching at a window

holding a rifle.

People were running

everywhere in panic.

Somebody with a bloody forehead

was lying in the back

of an open top car.

My problem as I saw it

was to explain

I was'nt this gun toting whacko

I was a normal person

temporarily inhabiting...

Time decreases

unceasingly

short lived light into

enigmatic gloom

unkind the pace

upon my face

long gone the memories

of the womb.

Flesh to fleshless spirit

ascends from

earthly stay

eternity carries on our song

as it carries

us away...

He has tried everything
everything that habitually dies.
nothing even half measures up
to his expectation.
failure starts with his first step.
loud though the industrious noise he makes is
there is always a silence to match it.
from the carousel of pride
he never alights at the right place
where all the right tools are waiting
for his lifes reparations.

in the meantime
the brick wall...

The all too quick
brown Fox
jumps not over
the lazy dog
but stupid Cow
lying precariously
on the very edge
of a thousand foot drop.

Fortunately (or unfortunately)
it-
the Fox that is-or was
landed on a soft low flying cloud
making its way to Heaven.

And the Cow?
well, when the full Moon came out
she-
the Cow that is-or was
was also for the high jump.
Nevertheless
she did mak...

On the worst
day of
Christmas
the ones
I-did-love
sent to me
same shit as last year
like bath salts worth effall
and an ink cartridge
that would'nt fit my HP

*****************************
Have a Merry wotsit'n'a happy thingy!...

HE RELISHES BEING

LOCKED

INTO THE AGONY

OF HIMSELF

HIS MIND

WANTS NOTHING OTHER

THAN TO WALLOW

DARKLY

PLOTTING

THE DOWNFALL OF THE SUN

THE RISE OF HELL...

The petite
neat and tidy
little lady
always with clean words
like nice,pretty,tasteful
at the ready
spoken with a gleaming smile and
a courtesy in the eyes

Dressed to coordinate with the furnishings
she thinks palatially proud of her cosy abode
the nurtured niceties
all reeking of and polished with love

Dust and disdain
are forbidden like swearwords
to be disinfected and mouthw...

Swimming happily
in clear mindedness
his spirit was'nt going
to be savaged
like that of a child
brought to book simply
for being a child.
All he wanted to do
was to produce something brighter
than sunlight.

Someone like him
spoke according to his conscience
and not from the foolish heights
of assumed intelligence.
He could,nt utter words more honestly
if he were God h...

A
smile
that
says,
the builders have finished-hurrah!...

It is now

the Sun grows cold.

As cold as I hoped

it would not

Here in this gathering

of all Winters

I am crushed

under the weight of loss

Compelled to listen

to the loudness

of your absence,

Exiling all values

into voids of emptiness

Behind these closed eyes

you will stay,

a beacon,in a dark sea of tears...

And still
they are everywhere
and nowhere,
the small.

And nowhere
is a place
they never wanted
to make

Yet they created it
by their own
inbred incapabilities,

An inherited created momentum
of self deprivation
of indestructible loss

They are vast in number,
the small
outnumbering the large
by many times

But they are splintered multitudes
fragmented masses
and these...

Its
not
a
case
of
less
said

but
more said-the better!
that
he
prefers,

since
his
name
he
knows
runs,filters down with great gusto,

through
their
unimportant
criticism,s

And
he
loves
them
for their having played right into his hands with their hidden envies

as
he
in
turn
also runs with great gusto,laughing all the way unstoppably
through each of their...

On one hand
they would say
things like,
oh my!
your are looking better,
the doctor has a new medicine
for you,
you,ll be up and around in no time.

Afterward these same people
would go out in the corridor and say
"she's looking terrible
she won't last much longer."

The doctors,the nursing staff,the relatives
all seemed to be involved
in this deception and denial....

She always seems
far too concerned with death.
During sex one night,
she turned away from me,
saying"can you hurry up with this,
I,m bored"

Her comment took me by surprise,because
there had never been a complaint
regarding my bedroom capabilities before.

And after a few moments of thought
I replied,
you are probably bored,because
your mind is too busy with thoughts of dyi...

So much doth I rejoice
in the belovedness of thy heart
the depthlessness of thy everything,

that only
the death of death
could equal such joy

******************

Patricia Wilde...

On her face
almost a look of apology
for being there

Peace is and forever will be
a word stolen from her mind

And in the blaring neon profanity
of the city
she seeks escape
from the dirge of dead dreams...

Very privately,
exaggerating,readjusting
we temper the self images
of now and then with hope
and covert falsifications.
Fabricate,reshape them
to give the mind release from secret damage.

Like metal from new flames of the forge
we hope they shall emerge
not misshaped anymore,but as comforting images
that we can,if need be add to them
whatever amount of whitewash is required...

Up there
in the high forest
private world
of his own
he can unleash
his mind.
The lone adventurer,
stepping into an immune cathedral of remoteness
an overlapping of worlds,roofed in green hues.

Where,he imaginatively dresses for his many roles
happy in pretentious bigness outside himself.
A King in his own country, a warrior rhymed with nature
a leader of invisible armies.

Seeking...

At the fore
of this great skeletal ship,
this rickety old
Victorian wave invader
unwittingly crewed by raincoated venturers,
muttering usual weather cursings

This mass of wrought-iron and timber
heaves under the strengthening breakers.
Briney air and hot dog smells mingle and
any left-overs are all too quickly fallen upon
by opportunistic gulls descending from atop
Gyspy Rosalee,s...

Her mouth
I have kissed,so many times
retains still,
moist giving tenderness.
Her look yet to be full explored
an unabating temptations store

Her hair cascading,
an ebony river flowing to mingle
with this verdurous bed,
her face, cloud soft and of faintest pallor
I, sighing at the touch

Our hearts beat,
in a rhythm too loving to ever die,
our breasts that rise and fall,...

Pray tell why,
O languishing Knight
of thy contentment
to shade thyself
neath Summers leafy oak.

Hath gone the thunder from thy heart,
the lightning from thy blood?
long gone seems the times whence thou battled on the well fought fields of ago,
gleaming armoured.

Surely art thou aware of renewed conspiracies being murmured abroad
gathering swiftly,those foreign tongues,speaking of E...

Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!

always,I shake my head at its mention-

fears me not,

despite its clinging to me

like an unwanted slur.

always ready to exhume itself

in the shape of condemnation.

Judge on!

but fuck you and your verdict!

in turn,I sentence you to be spat out

whenever you try to fill my mouth and heart

with the most bitter of tas...

Not suitable at all,
this 'hanging about'
suspended,highly strung-
strung up in the air to be exact.
Like being in a canvas foetal sac
within a steel womb.
Such a way of travelling
may have suited Silver and his cronies,
but not my spine!...

In his all frail condition
and in his late age,
blending quietness
with everyday noise,
is the best he can do,
for now.

His gaining of a temporary plot
in middle ground,is...
..a kind of balancing act.

For well he knows
that soon will come,and nevertheless please him,
will be the great inevitable imbalance.

But O!
what desireable silence!
what desireable riddance of everyday no...

"you are insincere"
she said.

She,
who would not have minded
had I broken my vows....

A misjudgement
of prospects.
A mistake it could be said
of our discovering each other.
Our streams had crossed
with alternate flows of desire.

And what came to haunt us later
when the shining novelty had worn off,
was not so much the emptying facade
we had thought of so goldenly
falling through our sievelike promises,
but something more unforeseen.

That sense of having left behind...

...a gift
handmade by God.
Blessed seed.
Determined to grow
against the odds
of so selfishly machined,
a world....

A tribute to my Father,

who fought with the 8th Army

and survived

their North Africa campaign.

Dedicated not only to him,

for his taking part,but also

all those who fell,

and all those maimed

and injured

in two World Wars

and present day Wars and conflicts.

Reveille
_______

Inconsequential to him now
those foreign and far sent
violent retorts...

Wanting to learn to love her
more and more,
I live in her shadow as she blooms,
existing only in her existence.

Wanting nothing other
than to dwell in the truth
of her nearness,
the inner state of her soul....

to the young I say
you don,t know
but you dwell in my pitying
of you and your assumptions of immortality.

how I wish someone was pitying me
in exactly the same way.
in the meantime I shall keep your place warm
and try not to smile....

This human being,

She,

carries me on her back.

I am barely a year old.

I am starving,I am thirsty.

She continues walking,walking,walking,

tens of miles

away from rape, away from genocide

seeking food,water.

deep down,She knows her situation is hopeless.

I can,t stand it any longer!

and break off from that horrendous imagined scenario,

t...

her face,

the face he has sorrowed,

lifts

from amongst his admirers

to gain no other favour than

a last look of grudging respect

from him.

one she will store in a memory,

a despised one.

not just better than any

but sadly sweeter than most.

Patricia Wilde...

destined are some hours

to spin silently neath glassy face,

others proclaimed loudly in steepled ring

unseen builders,destroyers by decay of

every Summer,Winter Autumn,Spring

each tick,each tock,each peal,each chime

flourish,then made to full decline

convey no redress,nor can replenish worth

forced to steal away to death,as we do from birth

having paid t...

trailing in my wake
like unwanted creatures
searching for a home
they have sought me out
once more

and each time
arising more darkly reincarnated
seeking to tear to pieces
all I have fought to be

continually attacking
the phoenix of hope within
trying so hard to rise...

gushing,hastily ascending
gains full glittering height
greets heaven,then
like clenching fists,
thumps into the first basin.
from thence on as foam,briefly lingers
before falling again,slower,more raggedly
into lower receptacles.

how alike to human thoughts,this process
they,blandly arising,seeking the bright rewards
of agreed negotiations with wit,wisdom and common sense.
then, by la...

Slinkily invading the darkness.
she carries the theft of the moon
in her eyes.
stopping momentarily
becoming a figuration,
more black than the night she is in,who
looking up to my window,see,s me,
also thieving the moon with my eyes
albeit for the sake of my heart....

she does,nt
and never did fold.
she faces truth with truth.
I can easily believe
she never once let pain cross her face
despite many a battle raging inside.
always stood defending the ramparts of home was she
no doubt alone there many times.
thank heaven she and victory knew well of each other....

Ruddied illuminant
more iconic against
his better suited background
of Winter,
presently and intensely
pipping and prancing
stalking the Summer gardener,
looking for a vacant spade handle to pose on,or
a trusted hand,worm filled held out.

He is the pot bellied, tail flicking cheeky comic
red waistcoated, without a full song to sing
owing his greatness
to his taut, short burst, eye c...

the night
veils as usual.
yet its cloaking intrusion
cannot penetrate
where little clouds of neon
squat under each streetlight
like chinese lanterns.
allowing flittering insects
to enjoy their own synthetic suns...

as I stand in the everywhere
of your magnificence
arms outstretched,praising heaven
the world spins around me
clouds descend
and lay themselves beneath my feet.
soft blown are the petals filling the air
as angels smile down from gleaming houses
guilding moreso, the sunrays with beautiful idyllic refrains,
hallowed sounds,blessed orchestrations
drifting earthwards
to which my heart
and...

when I first touched upon your heart
little did I realise
I had found an oasis
of innocence.
a place of unconditional love,
bearing all I needed
to fill my soul with a living dream

Patricia Wilde....

rewind and delete
if he could,
the brawling and bawling
caveman noises
his history rang to.
the clatter of his stupid
stupified feet
staggering down one too many Loser Streets.
there is no more comfortable role
he can slip into.
no Mr.Fuckingperfect costume to wear.
no choclate box cottage of ecstatic happiness
to stand at the rose surrounded doorway of.
whenever he tries the other me...

blazings
from the summer sphere
spearing through tree,s
goldenly pooling the ground.
bringing more than is enough
to please grateful eyes.
but nothing
to those preferring to dwell
in the darkness
of ingratitude...

they besiege him mostly
because he can,t retaliate.
but god help the gutless wonders
if he could!

the helplessness inflicted upon him
by worthier enemies
now leaves him wide open
to a daily reign of abuse

albeit
nothing like the reign
he and his eighth army comrades
battled against in North Africa.

when these present day fuckheads
'allow' his mobility scooter to pass
th...

close exchange of sighs,
silenced,separated.
haunted by abandonment
intoxicated with sadness.
a song of the heart broken into
innumerable irreparable pieces of lamentation
a dirge indeed to a precious conspiracy
now returned
without the hope of redemption
to the most beautiful of dust.
_________________________________

Patricia Wilde...

had I been better camouflaged
and less noisier
then the Kestrel would have had no cause
to relocate his beauty
and ethereally stalk further down the valley

while in my slow stumbling pursuit to further my adorations
I wonder...
is he, the aerobatic artiste,the drummer of air
not actually hunting,but
taunting my clumsiness?...

such cruelty has scattered our days
and she is exiled.
the impenetrable dark door says no
and relegates me
to the now irrepairable home,broken and
stripped of all that was her,

where torture and I sit listening
to the bitter and indiscriminative wind,unopposed,
brandishing its mockery of your absence....

I attended
the air headed
Open University
of T.V. today
and came out with two degrees-
one, a Master in the Science of diminished responsibilities
the other,a doctorate in the detestation of football.
not to mention catching celebrity sickness
and an addiction to Futurama.
unfortunately, I missed the doom and gloom news lectures-
what a bummer!...