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Living outside.....Life?

As time passed I became used to a REAL lasting peace in this place of unbelievabilty where it had always lived.   And I named this place -NotAnyWhereonEarth- 

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Homesick

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At speed my stop hurtles towards me but not fast enough!   Reflecting on my time away seems pointless. It begs to be relegated to the swell of unwanted thoughts.   In slowing a porter seems to move from right to left across my window without really moving at all   followed by the name of my town spelling itself out i...

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Setbacks

He has tried everything

everything that habitually dies.

nothing even half measures up

to his expectation.

failure starts with his first step.

loud though the industrious noise he makes is

there is always a silence to match it.

from the carousel of pride

he never alights at the right place

where all the right tools are waiting

for his lifes reparations.

...

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Up and definitely over!

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The all too quick

brown Fox

jumps not over

the lazy dog

but stupid Cow

lying precariously

on the very edge

of a thousand foot drop.

 

Fortunately (or unfortunately)

it-

the Fox that is-or was

landed on a soft low flying cloud

making its way to Heaven.

 

And the Cow?

well, when the full Moon came out

she-

the Cow that is...

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Padre xmas n all that

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On the worst

day of

Christmas

the ones

I-did-love

sent to me

same shit as last year

like bath salts worth effall

and an ink cartridge

that would'nt fit my HP

 

*****************************

Have a Merry wotsit'n'a happy thingy!  

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and death will become him

  HE RELISHES BEING LOCKED INTO THE AGONY OF HIMSELF HIS MIND WANTS NOTHING OTHER THAN TO WALLOW DARKLY PLOTTING THE DOWNFALL OF THE SUN THE RISE OF HELL 

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Fixer

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Swimming happily

in clear mindedness

his spirit was'nt going

to be savaged

like that of a child

brought to book simply

for being a child.

All he wanted to do

was to produce something brighter

than sunlight.

 

Someone like him

spoke according to his conscience

and not from the foolish heights

of assumed intelligence.

He coul...

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The day the drills fell silent

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A

smile

that

says,

the builders have finished-hurrah!

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Having cried your clothes into boxes

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It is now the Sun grows cold. As cold as I hoped it would not   Here in this gathering of all Winters I am crushed under the weight of loss   Compelled to listen to the loudness of your absence,   Exiling all values into voids of emptiness   Behind these closed eyes you will stay, a beacon,in a dark sea of tears ...

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Matter of size

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And still they are everywhere and nowhere, the small. And nowhere is a place they never wanted to make Yet they created it by their own inbred incapabilities, An inherited created momentum of self deprivation of indestructible loss They are vast in number, the small outnumbering the large by many times But they are splintered multitudes fragmented masses and these...

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Bad Boy!

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Its

not

a

case

of

less

said

 

but

more said-the better!

that

he

prefers,

 

since

his

name

he

knows

runs,filters down with great gusto,

 

through

their

unimportant

criticism,s

 

And

he

loves

them

for their having played right into his hands with their hidden envies

...

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According to professional opinion

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On one hand

they would say

things like,

oh my!

your are looking better,

the doctor has a new medicine

for you,

you,ll be up and around in no time.

 

Afterward these same people

would go out in the corridor and say

"she's looking terrible

she won't last much longer."

 

The doctors,the nursing staff,the relatives

all seemed to be invol...

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Left dangling

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She always seems

far too concerned with death.

During sex one night,

she turned away from me,

saying"can you hurry up with this,

I,m bored"

 

Her comment took me by surprise,because

there had never been a complaint

regarding my bedroom capabilities before.

 

And after a few moments of thought

I replied,

you are probably bored,because

yo...

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Beyond mortal parallel

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So much doth I rejoice

in the belovedness of thy heart

the depthlessness of thy everything,

 

that only

the death of death

could equal such joy

 

******************

 

Patricia Wilde

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Home leaver

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On her face

almost a look of apology

for being there

 

Peace is and forever will be

a word stolen from her mind

 

And in the blaring neon profanity

of the city

she seeks escape

from the dirge of dead dreams    

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The fooling of oneself

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Very privately,

exaggerating,readjusting

we temper the self images

of now and then with hope

and covert falsifications.

Fabricate,reshape them

to give the mind release from secret damage.

 

Like metal from new flames of the forge

we hope they shall emerge

not misshaped anymore,but as comforting images

that we can,if need be add to them

whatever ...

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Natural actor

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Up there

in the high forest

 private world

 of his own

 he can unleash

 his mind.

The lone adventurer,

 stepping into an immune cathedral of remoteness

 an overlapping of worlds,roofed in green hues.

 

Where,he imaginatively dresses for his many roles

happy in pretentious bigness outside himself.

A King in his own country, a warrior rhyme...

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Pier'ing out in Autumn

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At the fore

of this great skeletal ship,

this rickety old 

Victorian wave invader

unwittingly crewed by raincoated venturers,

muttering usual weather cursings

 

This mass of wrought-iron and timber

heaves under the strengthening breakers.

Briney air and hot dog smells mingle and

any left-overs are all too quickly  fallen upon

by opportunistic gull...

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For all my Patricia,s

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Her mouth

I have kissed,so many times

retains still,

moist giving tenderness.

Her  look yet to be full explored

an unabating temptations store

 

Her hair cascading,

an ebony river flowing to mingle

with this verdurous bed,

her face, cloud soft and of  faintest pallor

I, sighing at the touch

 

Our hearts beat,

in a rhythm  t...

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Defiance!

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Pray tell why,

O languishing Knight

of thy contentment

to shade thyself

neath Summers leafy oak.

 

Hath gone the thunder from thy heart,

the lightning from thy blood?

long gone seems the times whence thou battled on the well fought fields of ago,

gleaming armoured.

 

Surely art thou aware of renewed conspiracies being murmured abroad

gatherin...

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Saint me?

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Guilt! Guilt! Guilt!
always,I shake my head at its mention-
fears me not,
despite its clinging to me
like an unwanted slur.
always ready to exhume itself
in the shape of condemnation.
 
Judge on!
but fuck you and your verdict!
in turn,I sentence you to be spat out
whenever you try to fill my mouth and heart
with the most bitter ...

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Regretted cheap travel on a ship

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Not suitable at all,

this 'hanging about'

suspended,highly strung-

strung up in the air to be exact.

Like being in a canvas foetal sac

within a steel womb.

Such a way of travelling

may have suited Silver and his cronies,

but not  my spine!

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Having had enough

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In his all frail condition

and in his late age,

blending quietness

with everyday noise,

is the best he can do,

for now.

 

His gaining of a temporary plot

in middle ground,is...

..a kind of balancing act.

 

For well he knows

that soon will come,and nevertheless please him,

will be the great inevitable imbalance.

 

But O!

what ...

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Fools love

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A misjudgement

of prospects.

A mistake it could be said

of our discovering each other.

Our streams had crossed

with alternate flows of desire.

 

And what came to haunt us later

when the shining novelty had worn off,

was not so much the emptying facade

we had thought of so goldenly

falling through our sievelike promises,

but something more unfo...

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Kindness....

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...a gift

handmade by God.

Blessed seed.

Determined to grow

against the odds

of so selfishly machined,

a world.

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Reveille

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A tribute to my Father, who fought with the 8th Army and survived their North Africa campaign. Dedicated not only to him, for his taking part,but also all those who fell, and all those maimed and injured  in two World Wars and present day Wars and conflicts.

 

Reveille

_______

 

Inconsequential to him now

those foreign and far s...

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from this we have now

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Wanting to learn to love her

more and more,

I live in her shadow as she blooms,

existing only in her existence.

 

Wanting nothing other

than to dwell in the truth

of her nearness,

the inner state of her soul.

 

 

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catch up game

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to the young I say

you don,t know

but you dwell in my pitying

of you and your  assumptions of immortality.

 

how I wish someone was pitying me

in exactly the same way.

in the meantime I shall keep your place warm

and try not to smile.

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seeing with closed eyes

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This human being, She, carries me on her back. I am barely a year old. I am starving,I am thirsty.

 

She continues walking,walking,walking, tens of miles   away from rape, away from genocide seeking food,water. deep down,She knows her situation is hopeless. I can,t stand it any longer! and break off from that horrendous imagined scenario,

...

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exploited

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her face, the face he has sorrowed, lifts from amongst his admirers to gain no other favour than a last look of grudging respect from him. one she will store in a memory, a despised one. not just better than any but sadly sweeter than most.   Patricia Wilde 

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tumbling

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destined are some hours to spin silently neath glassy face, others proclaimed loudly in steepled ring unseen builders,destroyers  by decay of every Summer,Winter Autumn,Spring

 

each tick,each tock,each peal,each chime flourish,then made to full decline convey no redress,nor can replenish worth forced to steal away to death,as we do from birth

 

ha...

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stalked

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 trailing in my wake

 like unwanted creatures

 searching for a home

 they have sought me out

 once more

 

 and each time

 arising more darkly reincarnated

 seeking to tear to pieces

 all I have fought to be

 

 continually attacking

 the phoenix of hope within

 trying so hard to rise

   

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Fountainous

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gushing,hastily ascending

gains full glittering height

greets heaven,then

like clenching fists,

thumps into the first basin.

from thence on as foam,briefly lingers

before falling again,slower,more raggedly

into lower receptacles.

 

how alike to human thoughts,this process

they,blandly arising,seeking the bright rewards

of agreed negotiations with wit...

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Mrs. Nofear

 

she does,nt

and never did fold.

she faces truth with truth.

I can easily believe

she never once let pain cross her face

despite many a battle raging inside.

always stood defending the ramparts of home was she

no doubt alone there many times.

thank heaven she and victory knew well of each other.

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after switch on

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the night

veils as usual.

yet its cloaking intrusion

cannot penetrate

where little clouds of neon

squat under each streetlight

like chinese lanterns.

allowing flittering insects

to enjoy their own synthetic suns

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upon discovering paradise

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as I stand in the everywhere

of your magnificence

arms outstretched,praising heaven

the world spins around me

clouds descend

and lay themselves beneath my feet.

soft blown are the petals filling the air

as angels smile down from gleaming houses

guilding moreso, the sunrays with beautiful idyllic refrains,

hallowed sounds,blessed orchestrations

drifting e...

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saved

when I first touched upon your heart

little did I realise

I had found an oasis

of innocence.

a place of unconditional love,

bearing all I needed

to fill my soul with a living dream

 

 

Patricia Wilde.

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Failure

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rewind and delete

if he could,

the brawling and bawling

caveman noises

his history rang to.

the clatter of his stupid

stupified feet

staggering down one too many Loser Streets.

there is no more comfortable role

he can slip into.

no Mr.Fuckingperfect costume to wear.

no choclate box cottage of ecstatic happiness

to stand at the rose surrounded door...

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dazzled or dulled

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blazings

from the summer sphere

spearing through tree,s

goldenly pooling the ground.

bringing more than is enough

to please grateful eyes.

but nothing

to those preferring to dwell

in the darkness

of ingratitude 

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hard,easy target

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they besiege him mostly

because he can,t retaliate.

but god help the gutless wonders

if he could!

 

the helplessness inflicted upon him

by worthier enemies

now leaves him wide open

to a daily reign of abuse

 

albeit

nothing like the reign

he and his eighth army comrades

battled against in North Africa.

 

when these present day fuckh...

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of an ending

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close exchange of sighs,

silenced,separated.

haunted by abandonment

intoxicated with sadness.

a song of the heart broken into

innumerable irreparable pieces of lamentation

a dirge indeed to a precious conspiracy

now returned

without the hope of redemption

to the most beautiful of dust.

_________________________________

 

 

 

Patricia ...

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high jinx?

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had I been better camouflaged

and less noisier

then the Kestrel would have had no cause

to relocate his beauty

and ethereally stalk further down the valley

 

while in my slow stumbling pursuit to further my adorations

I wonder...

is he, the aerobatic artiste,the drummer of air

not actually hunting,but

taunting my clumsiness?  

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all for one-and one for none

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finding places

where white collar criminals

get white-washed is easy,

there are signs saying

'bankers and politicians are now and forever welcome here'

 

while debt and despair pours through the roofs of lesser mortals

the very nice man at number ten, sits at his desk

frantically writing.

the floor is strewn with crumpled papers bearing crumpled promises.

...

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Skip

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tilting and rolling.

like sea-going spiders

having long spun their sunken webs

the trawlers are about to haul in

their silvery prizes

from beneath the high folding sea

 

and in the salty dark air

rigging lights dance above the tumult

mirroring themselves on the face of the swell

 

with piratical bullishness

he bellows commands above the...

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pitying of a lost soul

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he lives quite close too close for comfort in fact, and has determined that most people are less than he, most people it turns out that he has never even met! sadly for him in his flailing and thrashing accusations he too readily overlooks real worth I and others have learned to accept his droning criticisms as parts of everyday noises,like road drills o...

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a warning to death

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age, epicentre of all denials. the final momentum of your destruction infuses her and depletes the sheltering power of my arms. caused by your ultimate inflictions I shall be an eternal raging voice in your enigmatic gloom

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Evie looking back

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after Christmas

there is always the dull

lingering aftermath of January,

albeit the beginning of the next countdown

to what the manufacturers

of fluffy,battery consuming

magically moulded plastic must haves

would come up with.

Mum had always softly advised me

never to expect too much.

so the thought of owning a rocking horse

was going to continue elu...

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on the way upstairs

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 in Gods green room

someone coughed.

cough turned into a splutter.

splutter turned into a laugh

in which they all

were unable to do anything else

but join in.

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Peace

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I conceived you

over many many years.

 

without form

you slowly arose,beautifully unfolding

 

growing into

the guardian spirit of my heart

 

together we have arrived.

 

together

we are

Home.

 

(by Patricia Wilde)

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shocked

they told me

'he,s gone'

even in and despising

the cold light

of this day

I would have thought

his goodness alone

would have seen him through.

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