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For Felix

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If only for his shadow at least!

but even that am I denied.


I shall,knowing or not for certain,but fancy

that he moves beside me,as I move.


Then,reminders will be mine of a former happiness shared

sadness links us both now,and for that alone,


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Is there a calling...?

I hush to listen,

yes its there!

echoing,inside my breast,

from amongst the blackened tree,s

silhouetted against the beautiful purple of twilight.


Oh! I am struck so deeply! whom do I answer?


..Heart! I ask!

..Soul! I ask!

..Spirit! I ask!


My glad tears run warm,

my own divine trio answer!


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Bleakest day

blackest misery

white coffin

red rosary

in pale crossed hands

veiled mourners whimper

beetling hearses crawl

rainy,leaf windblown cemetery

Gods sullen words

a lowering into eternity

love taken

love lost

new companion born,


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Coalface echoings

How my heart bleeds,

to see these downturned men.


Mere shells of former working heroes,

once proud!


Their  eyes showing an emptiness,

telling of the Soul dragging itself,

through lingering days spent in wasteful limbo.


Laughing hearts of old,silenced,

minds,hurt by loss of usefullness.


Any cries for help, taken by the winds of l...

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When the old eye widens, weakly

I, cursing new dawns waste,

on this incapable frame

am unable to leap into its rays.


When this mind

unlit by the Suns innocent attempts

to raise hope,

but only able to illuminate what once was,


Then indeed,I  curse you,dawn!

for now that once youthful shine,

so many times gifted,

has become a mockery


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Cleaned out

She turned out her bag today

you know,the kind of rubbish girls have,

lipsticks,perfume,tissues,spare knickers etc


A mixture of their lives

churning around

that no-one see,s.


And when at last she reaches the bottom

she found an empty contraceptive packet,and sand

wonder if she remembered me?

or has she turned out her memories as well

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If only

Am I dreaming?

because I,m seeing a perfect World....

yes,I,m dreaming!

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Not for me dude!

disappointments that leave dreamers lied to

illusions that escape,

making traitors of other eyes.


Everyday for me,is a gift!

I accept their crude,sometimes callous flight

mirages,promises are fine-for fools!

but I don,t want to live in either,

time is my home, I,m the homeboy!


Coming days hold no fear for me,

I have no so...

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Dog tired

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Age drags her to the fire

her head upon the fender

like a fur garment flopped in a heap.


The cats trespass at will,

she has no desire any more to chase

her natural zest lies lost in slowed bones.


Former powers have diminished into docility

gone the movements of her yesterday

her sharp bark now an incessant muted murmur

most painful for us both,...

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I was somewhere...alone

away from grinding despair

driving on hope...following the light.


I see this tall slender figure,

on the sidewalk.

feeling  I need help with direction

I pulled over.


Leaning towards the open window....

before  I open my mouth, she speaks..

Keep to the right, away from shadows,

she says,her blue eyes penetrating my ...

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Loves Store

So! here you are at last!

silhouetted by your own sunshine

standing there,holding my breath in your eyes!


All is here that you are ever going to need

just look around,

everything is and was,always waiting.



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Not so favourite things!

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Bri-nylon trousers

old threadbare 'cardy'

drooping appendage

incapable 'hardies'

re-using teabags

hoarding never used things

forcing smiles for the neighbours

with cream dentured grins


Shouting alone at the telly

nodding off in winged chair

screwing eyes up at the mirror

plucking out very long nose hair


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Dying rays outlining her beauty

her communion with tranquility,

with my heart.


Such a scene!

rare capture by the eye

silhouetted in the fading incident of evening.


Darkly silent

meandering with slight disturbance

the gathered pools.


Regretfully giving way to darker shades

the poignancy of night

closing in, around us both.



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True vision

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You did,nt look back

or hear my cry to you


you moved so silently

amidst the many,they who were departing.


So many! a hushed, moving multitude

a river of Souls.


Surrounding you,

carrying you along.


As though a tear, in the leaving tide of an ocean

a grain,in windblown desert dust.


Summers leaf falling in a lonely Autumn ...

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Neccessary sacrifice

There are places I yearn to go to but cannot.



Where your loving is beyond depth

Where your peace is of the uppermost

Where your kindnesses unconditionally gives

Where your hopes soar with Angels

Where your heart waits for me.


Alas in vain

Because of my despairs,self made,

damaging by nature,I must stay

within my own confines.



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who is to say?


seemingly,at times,a whole lot emptier

as todays evolve into long gone yesterdays.


Some were full of young fun

some were full of old sadnesses.


Things we,ve done,

rush back at times,in true light and false darknesses


Things we,ve said

with foolish hope and even more foolish alibi,s.


The flash of old pictures


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On the windy wings of love

When first we, each bedded each

lying in excited shyness,of each and even ourselves,

wanting to do everything to please

but not daring enough  to begin.

A form of semi-paralysis seemed to have overcome us.


Your look of innocence,I will never forget!

.....the rain brought an air of ease,pattering on the window,

still we waited.

then an approaching train ...

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I had this dream,

I had died and had gone to heaven,

oh! it was better than I had ever could have imagined!....


Yesss! naked women were freely available

Yesss! wives were not allowed in

Yesss! Homer Simpson was King

Yesss! kids were clear soundproof boxes!

Yesss! Sade had to stay in my bed...FOREVER!

Yesss! there were lakes of beer

Yesss! you...

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T'inking of inking(a poem)

After dropping too much drink,

becoming drunkenly stinking

a thought cropped up from gloomily thinking,

of how life ,all too soon,can end up at the brink(ing)

the Reapers eye,looking at me,scaredly,wickedly winking

his hand,seeking mine,too prematurely linking

ooer missis! my heart began sinking!

my hope,like cheap soap,rapidly shrinking.


Looking for comf...

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During the break

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One evening

whilst enjoying dinner,

the world split in two!


You and the cat were on one side

the dog and I,on the other.

your Mother,

not wanting to miss out on anything,

had a foot on both sides.


Very soon becoming overstretched,

she fell down the middle.

as she fell,she screamed,pointing to me,

'its all your fault! as something like th...

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Picturing you

Hello darling..I say

looking at your photograph on the mantlepiece.


Your smile,of long ago,

always comes through its tainted surface.


It seems to broaden more,

with each return.


As though knowing

how hard my loneliness is.


As though assuring me

that you are ever present.


As though assuring yourself

of how very much...

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Having done with me,yet again

the lifestorm bears away my inward cries of pain.

gaining fresh ground,but losing more than gain

I fight on,fall,fight on.


All wrongfulness lashes at my darkened eyes,

clings to my yielding form

alone must I struggle upwards,yet again.


Floundering against the unwarranted onslaught

once more I descend the slopes of time...

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This night,this returning phantom,

at one with Moon,s lucid attention

unfailingly meanders,ghostily,

a slumbering river of immeasurability.


Onwardly dividing,

amongst  gatherings,of shadowed dwellings

continuously sifts through sleeping forests,

mingling with river mists.


Awaits its delicate dispersion,

recurring gentle demise

in the soft...

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By the Death of your love

am I to remain condemned to inanition,

fallen heart,bound to sorrow without choice.


Its beat distant,as the echo of an empty promise

in shadows of shadows

dreaming with frailty,of hope

haunted by your beyondness.


Torturing my world,

every second becoming a day,

a devoted psyche,pulled apart

despair has made its home...

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Boned wry(or Textspeare.(i.e)..2b r nt 2b-tht is th ?)

So! am stood 'ere wiv this skull in me 'and

'a sez-ay up,owd Yoric

thars not lukin ser grand! 


Retor'id owd toofless Yoric,

shurrup,an' say summat 'istoric!


Wot? a' sez jer mean summat

that ul' make them lot 'int front row start feelin 'uforic?


Yeah! sez dead 'ead 'Y' wivout no glint in no eye

kick off wiv praps...alas'n'maybe 'ow well t...

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Words for lost

'Old' stooped,doorstepped.

prampusher waved,

yowler in pram,yowled.

wagtail woofed.


Hotball rayed down,

white fluffs floated

chaffed,chirped in branchleafed.


Royal red, letter boxed.

Plod,size twelved,'morninged all'

truncheoning away.


Disc oranged,peaked

'old' buttied and cuppered,

box progged,'enders of east'

'world nat...

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A letter to us

The ways we knew of,to ourselves(selfs)

are becoming more quickly obscured.


No longer do the signs direct us

down old paths,

but to destructive destinations.


Where,new needs are fed,by manipulation.

not to sustain what we were,

but we are otherwise becoming.


Is steadily dripping eviction

of the true Soul,

separation from the honest h...

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Old four legs

Its stood over there

creaky 'owd chair,

looking all forlorn.

legs are loose near past its use

seat cover, all arse worn.


No doubt it could tell of many a story

of all the bums that sat,

in comfort there,upon this chair,

some thin,some trim,some fat.


Now near the end

for my old wooden friend,

faded,cracked and knotty

but when you are ...

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Closing time

Staggering night

sprawling fight

they were wrong

you were right

rolling round

rain soaked ground


A drunken lunge

careless blade

white scented shirt

becoming crimson shade


lying now

where once he stood

pools of blood

midst pools of mud


Eyes slowly closing

no time to  think

not even time

for one last drink...

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Heroism 24/7

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Poor,our charitable dispersions,

     our token seeds compared to needs.


             Having little sown,we turn away,satisfied

             yes,my brother,sister,we held your hand,

             if only momentarily,was,nt that enough?


                               Well! we were roused by p...

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Why,should I struggle,

questioning,is my love, is my yearning

great, and real enough?


For unrolling time will have no slow intent

awaiting the outcome of my Souls torment

thereby losing its importance to me.


Contentment, why has it to be measured,condemned

if falling short,according to others?

am I to receive harshness for little wanting?



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Perhaps,when all is said and done

we best at least  die innocent

why the hell should we die lying,

about the murderous achievement of Empire?

even if we lose face!


A preference is best given to fairer trade,more sociable ties

hoping that in time,it may cover the failure in old eyes

so losing is more dignified,winning,less expected.


Though adversari...

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From wars inheritance

shall man continue to fall,

bending to its tasks.


Adorn me not with unwarranted citation

blind not my way to true ambition

cajole me not with twisted promises.


Thankfully 'tis not full multitude

that hurt pride and conscience

still are the few set apart,captains of themselves(selfs)

born of free will,on whom shall ride h...

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Blame shifting

They fought,

killed with clubs and spears

he laughed.


They fought,

killed with guns and tanks

he laughed.


They fought,

killed with nuclear weapons

he laughed.


They fought,

killed with abused religion

he laughed.


They fought,

killed the Earth

he laughed,and went back to bed,mumbling

'and they thought I made H...

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Its my choice I suppose

simply sever all dreams,

allow them to slip through my thinning fingers,

retain,lament the mediocre past,

albeit in a wrestle with frustration.


To think,some, good of myself is essential

for friendly minds are diminishing.

even if consolation is part won,

no more shall I contest the chill,cooling youthful blood.


Chivalry ...

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'ooray 'enrys 'DO!'

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All is spiffing

jolly hockey sticks!

chinless wonders guffawing

at some immature jest.


The toodle pippers,

sipping champers

nipping the maids bottom

with brattish bravado.


Beneath havana furls,

office and boudoir tittle tattle

savoured  by the fair weather pack.


Simply marvellously chosen,vintage words,

lapped up with silk,...

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Wanting away,from minds fearfulness,

from thoughts closing in on me,of death,of the unknown,

looking for peace and solace.


Despite those two having left their obvious marks in many places,

I wanted to meet them,

face to face.


Eventually,after a long journey

I did catch up with them,wondering how long my stay would be,

finding them in more opening th...

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Feeling as though I have been standing here forever,

just staring in.


Looking at all,

that your love offers.


Seeing nothing else,

around me.


Yes,man and boy

thats how long it feels.


That your unattainable love

has displayed itself, to my looking in.


The Moon could have died,

I would,nt have known,or cared.



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Boring clothes waiting,


uncannily knowing

they will have me where I don,t want to be,

inside them,in the coming years.


I am to be a prisoner of drabness

inside a cloth prison,

locked away from youthful fashion.


Oh,I have tried staying inside young attire!

having to endure passing stifled laughter,

supercilious bitten lipped...

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For the love of a troubled Mother(With love)

Overspills of her days into nights, were no stagnant pools,

like her many hair colours,she coloured the rules.


She took out of life,all she could not give back,

directionless Mother,trod the mistaken track.


Her time was for dancing,her time was for fun,

gradually trapping herself in the web,she had unwittingly spun.


Discarded people cried in her wake...

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While day sleeps

Night is drowsing

around the houses,

around the houses,

around the houses

night is drowsing ,around the houses

darkly gloved in sleep.


And all the crumbling town,


emptied misted


all the crumbling town is emptied,misted

floating ghostly, 

low clung in every slumbered street.


Upon the foot, and wheel ...

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A different kind of war

Not just another man,he was my Father!

like many others poor

impoverished days,barely existing

lonely,behind a cold empty room door.


His years were wintered,

very rare the promise of Sun

mostly with false hopes he lived

paying for the pub landlords fun.


against despair,toil,and hunger

many times my Father fought

never mastering the  lessons


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Small,the buffeting intrusions of air

disturbs slight,yet with joyous gusto,

the seed tipped,clumped grasses.


Synchronising their movements with perfection,

a ballet,

of green contrasts,

collectively swaying in unison.


Oddly bouldered slants of hillsides,

now and again,shaded and unshaded,

by the Sun,s  randomness,

cower,like dormant timid...

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Barking mad(ly in love)

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A boring quarter to cold five

in the morning!

dragged,mind whizzingly awake

evicted from a lifeless dream,

that had nothing of you in it.


So, I made up this medicinal poem

these sedating wordzzzzz

and instead of turning on myself

with frustrated annoyance,

cheer up,with the bright expectance,

of your tomorrows being.


Your tomorrow,s new...

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Do you still prefer to walk alone?

walk,where nobody walks,

in spirals,curves.

blind to devilled shadows

fooled by a shield of ignorance.


I  recall the journey we once planned,

through endless time.

when we both unmasked our desires.

another truth has masked your face

bereft of smile,with sunless eyes,downturned.


Speaking from your meaningl...

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All round waste.

English death,in an Irish gutter

brave blood seeping away,hooray!

it is cheered down the drain

hands reeking of rebellious cordite clapping.


In a four lined newspaper statement of small print and intent

not daring to compete with the English sports page

the young soldier is spared slight pretence of grief.


Hardened,by his life of witnessing this kind o...

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Moons corona

unfurling like a waking swan

encircling the pale planet.


Reaching down into earths darkness

slithering silvery.

stroking,tantalizing tree,hilltop.


Slowly descending,threading

across age sagged village roofs

cascading down silent spires.


Laying silvern,its trails along midnight lanes

through wood,over dale,across watery ...

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Enforced introversion

The conclusion is drawn;a pained mind

an everything,part damaged.



times structuring distorted.

Soul rendered to invisible suffering,

death-like in continuation.


Eyes,ghosting the distance,

only haunting a woken world.

vague reverberations

of first born echoes plague the ear.


Only a shell of former self standing


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Pieced by peace

You are the only you

I have sought for so long


Your shapes fit perfectly

into mine


Your hand in my hand

your lips upon my lips


Your flesh moulded into my flesh

your legs wrapped around my waist


Your withiness enclosing my penetration

your heart inside my heart


Your Soul enfolding my eternity.

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Cows just stare

they don,t care


Oh, I know they eat cud

and emit stuff that 'dont smell good


But for the most,they just stare

'cos they dont care.


They dont care 'cos they are unaware

thats why they stare.


If Mr. McDonald was stood there

they would,nt stare!


'Cos he would scare them with his stare

then they would be ...

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